Are you looking for tips on how to get and stay turned on? Here we have 15 fantastic pieces of advice to help you with sexual arousal!
There is plenty of advice out there about how we need to improve our sex lives, work at them, have more satisfying orgasms, longer sex, more communicative sex, more sex in general… and so on. This is all well and good, but what about simple, effective ways to experience sexual arousal and get turned on – and quickly too?
For both men and women, getting aroused and staying aroused can be a problem. You might want to have more sex, and spice up your sex life, but if you simply aren’t in the mood, how is this going to be possible?
We all have busy lives. Jobs, socializing, children, and so much more can easily make you too tired at the end of the day. And by the time night falls all you want to do is binge on a Netflix box set or curl up with a good book – and sex is the last thing on your mind.
15 tips that help with sexual arousal
Perhaps in your relationship one of you has a higher sex drive and always feels like the other one is refusing sex, which can lead to frustration and difficulty in the relationship. Or perhaps you’d just like to know how to get aroused super quickly, any place, at any time.
#1 Know your triggers. Ever get randomly turned on? Of course you do! Next time you feel this way, concentrate on what happened. Where are you? What were you thinking about? What can you smell, taste, see?
It might be that you have certain triggers that suddenly get you thinking about and in the mood for sex. If you can figure out what they are, the next time you want to feel in the mood, you can create those conditions, and you’ll be feeling super aroused before you know it! Hello, sexual arousal!
#2 Ban yourself from sex. Okay, so this may be counterintuitive, but stop and think about it for a moment. Banning yourself from something usually makes you want it even more! Think about a time when you have tried to give something up – chocolate, alcohol, and so on.
#3 Watch porn. Sometimes you need a bit of a good old-fashioned visual stimulation to help you. Watching other people have sex is a huge turn on for lots of people, so why not give it a go? If you have never watched porn before, it may feel a little intimidating, particularly with the vast range of porn that is available to you.
The good news is, there is so much out there you are sure to find something that caters to your tastes. Talk to your partner about what you both might like and take it from there. If something isn’t working for you, that’s ok, just keep trying until you find something that does. [Read: Porn for couples and why it might just save your marriage]
#4 Take it slowly. It’s important not to rush sex. You might get frustrated by not getting turned on as soon as you start getting down and dirty, but give yourself a break!
Taking time with the foreplay and taking it slowly is more likely to be effective. There might not be a magic wand you can wave to make yourself super horny super quickly – and that’s okay. Rushing into it and putting loads of pressure on yourself is not the way to do it!
#5 Try out a fantasy. Everyone has a sexual fantasy *or loads of them!* If you want to get turned on quickly, then why not try one of yours out?
Of course, it might feel a little daunting discussing your fantasies with your partner, but you can do it! If you do, you’ll not only feel closer for sharing, but could be in for the wildest, sexiest night of your life! [Read: 10 naughty sex games for couples to feel horny again]
#6 Build anticipation. Getting turned on is all about building anticipation. Don’t go hell for the leather straight away. Start off with gentle kisses and strokes, tease your partner by getting a little more passionate and then pulling away. If you do it this way, you’ll build up the sexual tension until you are both so turned on that you’ll want to rip one another’s clothes off right there and then!
#7 Dress yourself for sex. Feeling sexy is all about playing a part. If you are sitting slumped in front of the TV in a tracksuit and shoving last night’s curry into your face, you are hardly going to feel in the mood for some passionate love making! Prepare yourself.
Have a steamy shower *with or without your partner!* put on some sexy underwear, some luxurious moisturizer, and squirt yourself with a sexy perfume. Feeling confident and sexy is half the battle when it comes to sexual arousal. [Read: How to look good in bed when your man comes over]
#8 Get some sex toys. Sex toys kind of do what they say on the tin. It’s okay to have a little helping hand from time to time, and investing in some fun and kinky sex toys can instantly spice up your sex life and get your super horny, super fast! [Read: 13 must-have couples’ sex toys for naughty first-timers]
#9 Let your mind wander. It’s okay to think about other things that turn you on during foreplay and sex. Don’t feel bad if you are not totally present and focused on your partner 100% of the time. You can fantasize about anything you like during sex – whatever works to get you in the mood.
#10 Know what you want. Being confident and decisive about what you want is important when it comes to sexual arousal. If your partner is doing something that isn’t working for you, tell them.
Obviously, do it kindly such as, ‘that’s great, but could you go a little slower?’ That works a lot better than ‘Jesus, are you trying to rub it off?!!!’ Your partner will want to please you, so giving them a little direction instantly makes sex better for you both. [Read: How to foreplay – The key for the best sex of your life]
#11 Concentrate on your body and the sensations you feel. Next time you want to feel in the mood, really try to focus on your body and what it feels like to be touched and caressed.
It’s easy to feel like we are ‘not in the mood,’ but if you concentrate hard on the sensations you are feeling, you can find that you suddenly start feeling turned on and your sexual arousal shoots up and up!
#12 Change it up. Sometimes you might find yourself in a bit of a sexual slump, that’s okay. But if you change things up, it might be all you need to get back in the zone where your sex is hot, hot, hot. Talk to your partner about what you could experiment with and see where it takes you.
#13 Relax. Worry and stress about sex is an arousal killer. Make sure you relax as much as possible and never do anything you don’t want to do. Some people swear by meditation to help ease their minds and let their anxieties fade away. [Read: 12 safe and natural ways to increase your libido]
#14 Be aware of your natural sex drive. Different people have different sex drives, and you have to accept what yours is and work with it. You don’t always need to be in the mood for sex, you have to find the right amount for you. If you are always trying to force it, it will just end up not happening and becoming even more frustrating.
#15 Don’t give up. If at first you don’t succeed… getting turned on and finding out what makes you horny takes time. Just keep experimenting with the tips above and discovering what works for you, and you’ll get there and soon be getting turned on in no time at all!
As you know, sexual arousal is a funny thing. It doesn’t always happen when we want it to. Next time you want to have sex, but aren’t feeling quite in the mood, why not try some of the above and see what a difference it could make?
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Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...