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How to Make Sex Better: 15 Ways to Take It Up a Notch in Bed

how to make sex better

You may be having a good sex life, but you don’t want good, you want great. Well, it won’t be easy, but here’s how to make sex better.

You’ve probably read a couple “revamp your sex life” articles and they’ve probably all told you to switch it up. Well, thanks for the info, Einstein. But people forget that sex isn’t just physical, it’s mental and emotional as well. And knowing how to make sex better takes more than just a strong pelvis, and a few good moves.

How to make better sex in 15 sexy ways

If you’ve been having sex for a while, then you’ll understand the connect between body, mind, and soul. I mean, if I’m really stressed out, I know I won’t be able to get turned on as quickly. Why? Because my mind is somewhere else… in another entirely different frame of mind. So, let’s get to the real tips for how to make better sex.

I mean, there are worse things you could be spending your time doing, right?

#1 Acknowledge that your sex life could be better. This is the first step. Don’t live in some fantasy realm where you’re in denial of your sex life being yawn-worthy. What happens is that you may start to feel resentful, and thus, it may give you wandering eyes. If you’re pleased with your sex life, you have to accept it and let your partner know.

#2 Look at what’s blocking you. Are you unable to have a satisfying sex life because you work all day and you’re tired? Do you have kids? Is your partner not present? You need to see what’s preventing you from obtaining mind-blowing sex. [Read: How to have great sex with your lover]

#3 Don’t blame it on your sex drive. Listen, your sex drive is fine. People like to blame it on their low sex drive, but that’s not the case. You’re bored. I bet if another person came and had you orgasming like an alarm clock, you’d be horny every day.

So, don’t be that person to call yourself broken. So, unless you’ve been properly diagnosed, don’t waste your money on pharmaceuticals. Instead, buy a vibrator and a whip.

#4 Reduce stress. Stress is actually one of the reasons why you’re not having amazing sex. Why? Because stress is a cockblocker. It does not make you horny… it’s evil. When stressed, an individual’s sexual interest reduces by 80-90%.

To prevent this from happening to you, you need to partake in activities that reduce stress, and be open with your feelings. Bottling up emotions will ruin your sex life. [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed]

#5 Orgasms start in the brain. Oh, I know what you were thinking. However, you’re wrong. Orgasming is all mental, especially for women. Sure, there’s a physical aspect, but have you ever seen those people that orgasm without being touched?

You may think it’s weird, but it just shows you the power of the mind. So, to remove that mental wall you built up, you’re going to need to practice mindfulness. [Read: 10 naughty sex games for couples to feel really horny instantly]

#6 Not every orgasm will blow your mind. Listen, I know you want every orgasm to literally knock your socks off and leave you unable to speak proper sentences, but it’s not like that. Some days you’ll have an orgasm that’s similar to chewing on a celery stick.

While other days, you’ll lose the ability to function. This will all depend on the level of stress, where you are mentally, and of course, where you were stimulated. Clitoral stimulation may give you a different orgasmic reaction compared to anal. [Read: Get in the mood for sex with these 15 moves with a lot of sex]

#7 Self-love is highly necessary. Shockingly, how you see yourself and your body is hugely connected to sex. If you don’t have a high regard for yourself, well, you probably don’t want to be as sexually open and free. Why? Because right now you’re concerned about how your face looks or that extra jiggle in your stomach.

#8 It’s all about the clit. Whether you’re a woman or the guy who’s trying to figure how to have better sex, you should know that it’s all about the clit. The clit is like the mother ship of achieving mind-blowing sex. Sadly, penis-to-vagina intercourse isn’t the breadwinner of orgasms. However, the clit seems to be the way most women get off. When in doubt, focus on the clot. [Read: Clitoris stimulation – 10 sexy ways to please the clitoris]

#9 Hitting the O is your job. I know you don’t want to hear this, but having an orgasm is your responsibility. Sure, your partner can help you in getting one, but you’re the one who’s in control of your body and mind. So, basically if you want to make sex better, you give yourself an orgasm.

#10 Check your meds. Now, maybe at one point you used to love having amazing sex. However, life happens, and now you’re on medication and feel uninspired. Your meds could be contributing to your lack of orgasm and connection to your partner.

#11 Leave the distractions at the door. Distractions are another killer of great sex. I know it’s hard, but turn your phone on silent. Okay, if you have to get back to the office, set an alarm, and then just enjoy the moment in between then. When you’re having sex, be present. [Read: 10 intimate sex positions to feel the romance in bed]

#12 Practice on your own. The only way you’ll be able to orgasm with someone is if you know your own body and what turns it on. Spend the extra time alone and just explore yourself. That way, when you’re having sex, you’ll be able to direct the other person so that they’ll be able to give you that orgasm you’ve been looking for.

#13 Explore your kinks. If you’re not getting the sex you want, well, you need to change that. Why not explore your sexuality and discover things that turn you on? Maybe you’d like to try a strap on or use a vibrator. Talk to your partner and tell them how you feel. You may find it awkward at first, but, trust me, it’ll be worth it. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship]

#14 Communicate. If you haven’t had an orgasm, don’t fake it. Oh God, come on people, it’s the 21st century. What happened to open communication? Be honest with your partner. You haven’t had an orgasm? Great, now we can focus on getting you to have one. Don’t like doggy style? Great, let your partner know that it doesn’t turn you on.

#15 Do it. That’s right, people. You can read all of these tips, but unless you take action, they mean nothing. In order to learn how to make sex better, you need to do it. You may not feel like having sex either, which I understand is normal. However, don’t let that become a habit – because that’s not helping anyone.

[Read: 20 sexual problems in a relationship you can easily avoid]

So, if you’re wondering how to make sex better, these tips will certainly get you to the bottom of why you’re not having orgasmic sex. So, start practicing!

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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