A massage doesn’t take long, nor does it need a lot of accessories. Once you understand what a sensual massage really needs, you’ll be able to prepare yourself and your partner for it within a few minutes, and enjoy a rejuvenating massage that’ll make both of you feel good.
You don’t need nimble fingers or a brow full of dripping sweat to apply the right pressure or give the perfect massage.
#1 Patience. Relax and calm your mind. Patience is the key to giving a good massage. Feel good about yourself and prepare your mind to selflessly please your partner without expecting anything but happiness and relaxation in return. Take a few deep breaths and avoid any distractions.
#2 Undisturbed time. If you want to give your lover a great sensual massage, give yourselves at last an hour of undisturbed times with no phone calls, email, or visitors. A sensual massage is a union of two minds and to experience it completely, you need to think of nothing but the way your hands feel against your partner’s body.
#3 Get the setting right. Your partner can experience the pleasure of a good massage only when they feel relaxed and uninhibited. Dim the lights if your partner feels awkward about lying in the nude under bright light, or use a soft cloth to cover their butt when they lie down in the nude on their tummy. Dress yourself up in soft clothing or take your clothes off. [Read: How to look really good naked using 15 real life tips]
#4 Things you need. There are no necessities to a good massage and just your bare hands should suffice. But if you want to heighten the pleasurable sensation, keep a bottle of body lotion *non-sticky and water based* nearby. Want to go one step further? Light fragrant incense or use massage oils, and play some soothing ambience music in low volume. But just remember to avoid using oils that have an overpowering fragrance.
#5 The warm up to the massage. Ask your partner to lie on their tummy on the bed. Sit down by their side *you can also sit on their butt or thighs if they’re comfortable with your body weight*. Place your hands on your partner’s upper back and move your hands all over their back. Pour a liberal amount of lotion or oil on their back and start moving your hands around their back slowly. [Read: How to turn yourself on with your senses]
#6 The energy exchange. The energy exchange is the most important part of a good sensual massage. As you move your hands gently over your partner’s back, close your eyes and feel your hands move against your lover’s body.
Breathe deeply and feel your partner breathing though your hands. Apply a little pressure on their back, and with your eyes closed, visualize the love and the affection you have for your partner. Visualize the positive energy flowing from your body to your hands and into your partner’s body. As you experience the flow of energy, your bodies will create a powerful connection that will bind both of you together in a powerful connection of sensual bliss.
Your partner will feel what you feel, and you’ll feel what your partner feels. Love and lust will start flowing to and fro between your bodies. This may seem rather out-of-the-world as you read it, but as soon as you try this step with your partner, you’ll realize the connection within a few minutes. You may even find yourself laughing or getting misty eyed because the connection would be so surprisingly powerful! [Read: How to create sexual chemistry in a relationship and make it stay]
#7 The massage. Once you’ve built the energy connection between your bodies, start moving your hands against your partner’s body. Start at the neck or shoulders and work your way downwards and outwards towards the extremities of the body, the arms and the legs.
As you move your hands, vary the pressure you’re applying on your partner. A happy moan implies a good pressure, a grunt or a painful moan means you need to reduce the pressure. If that doesn’t make sense to you, ask your partner to tell you if you need to reduce or increase the pressure. To ensure that you’re giving a good massage, start in the middle of the back and move your hands outward and sideways.
#8 The feel good zones. The neck, the shoulders and the toes are the feel good zones. Even if your partner doesn’t enjoy a massage or if they’re still feeling stiff or awkward, start with this region. These areas would help your partner relax immediately, shed their inhibitions and enjoy your hands against their body. [Read: 10 ways to make married sex feel like a one night stand]
#9 The sensual zones. A sensual massage is no good when you don’t spend a lot of time in the sensual zones, the pelvis, inner thigh and lower back. As you move your hands all over your partner, pay attention to the way their body feels. If it feels rigid, you need to focus on the feel good zones. If it feels relaxed and moves easily, they’re ready for the sensual zones. Spend a lot of time massaging your lover around their sensual zone. And if you want to bring more passion into the massage, kiss or nibble your partner around their sensual zone now and then.
#10 Getting sexual and sensual. As you continue massaging your partner, switch between the sensual and the feel good zones every now and then. If your partner gets turned on, focus more on the sensual zones, so they can enjoy the sexual side of a relaxing massage. You can even go down on your partner now and then to help them experience a sensual orgasm. [Confession: My Asian happy ending massage experience]
#11 The cool down. After a long while, just as you started increasing the pressure with your hands gradually, start reducing the pressure you’re applying on their body slowly. The cool down process should take at least five minutes where you start reducing the pressure very gradually so your partner actually doesn’t realize the difference in your hand’s pressure.
Once you’ve almost reduced the pressure completely, move your hands all over your partner’s body gently and slowly so they can still feel your soothing touch but they can’t feel the pressure. End the sensual massage by softly kissing your lover around their body without disturbing their relaxed state of mind.
Talking while massaging
Try to reduce any verbal communication while massaging your partner. And even if you need to ask your partner something, whisper or speak very softly so you’re not breaking the connection of energies both of you are building up through the massage. A sensual massage is all about non verbal communication and the exchange of energies so both of you can feel more loved and connected. Don’t disturb the bond by laughing, talking loudly or by getting distracted. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a really sexy relationship]
Loosening the knots
Knots are tight muscles which can build up with stress or bad posture. While massaging your partner around knots, work with your partner and listen to them through the moans and the grunts. Apply pressure around the knots when you feel like they need more, and reduce it where the body seems soft and supple. You’ll learn with time. But always remember that it’s better to start the massage by applying less pressure.
You don’t need to end a massage with sex all the time. Sometimes, just massage your lover until they’re blissfully lazy or too drowsy to move. By avoiding sex, your partner can just relax without having to be on guard and ready for sex after the massage. And likewise, make it clear to your partner that you don’t want to be massaged back on the same day, because they may feel obligated to return the favor for you, and that’ll ruin the relaxing sensation flowing through your lover. [Read: The real secret behind how size actually matters to women]
If both of you feel like having sex after a sensual massage, then don’t hold back. But if your partner doesn’t initiate it, don’t initiate it either. A sensual massage doesn’t always have to end in sex, as long as you sexually satisfy your lover.
And the best part here, if you do connect with your lover emotionally while massaging them, you’d feel rejuvenated and relaxed as well!