If you and your partner do more yawning in bed then playing under the sheets, you’ll need to figure out how to be better in bed, and blow their mind.
I get it. When you’re with someone for a longer period of time, the sexual energy between you and your partner fades a bit. Many of us think it’s normal, stop wondering how to be better in bed and just assume that’s what every relationship turns into. But it doesn’t have to be like that. You remember Sting, right? He and his wife still get it on 3-4 times a week, and he’s in his sixties!
So, what’s your excuse? Trust me, I watched an episode of Oprah on this, so I’m basically an expert. The thing is, to keep the flame alive, it takes work. You thought having sex was going to be easy, ha! Roll those sleeves up, people. You’ll need to get creative.
How to be better in bed and blow their mind
Get your notepad out… you’ll need to take notes. Even if you think you’re a pretty good lover, there is always room for improvement. So, here’s how to be better in bed and blow their mind.
#1 Hygiene it up. Interestingly enough, people like having sex with clean people. Strange, huh? Who would have thought? Now, I’m not saying you’re dirty, but perhaps you can ignite the flame just by giving the old’ bush a trim or using a coconut moisture instead of your five-year-old jar of vaseline. Have you seen someone come out of the shower? They just look fresh and new. [Read: Pretty pussy essentials – How to make it purr with delight]
#2 Circle of trust. Nothing is worse than not feeling like you can try new things with your partner because you’re scared of being judged. Perhaps you want to try something new like bringing some whipped cream into the bedroom, but you’re scared your partner would judge you.
Having a better sex life starts with trusting your partner and feeling safe with your feelings and thoughts. If you don’t feel this, well, find someone new.
#3 Communication. Maybe you do have a decent sex life with your partner, however, you’re missing some key communication points. Maybe your partner hates it when you lick their nipples, but you always do it.
#4 Keep it fresh. You need to switch it up. If you only like having sex in missionary, it’s going to be a long life. So, try out new sex positions other than what you’re used to. You don’t have to go all Kama Sutra, but you can try out something new and see what works for you and your partner. Add another position to the collection.
#5 You don’t have to speed it up. People always want it fast and hard, which, I’m not complaining about. I’m also a fan. But when you go slowly, it throws people off and gets them even more excited. So, don’t rush it, I mean, unless you have somewhere to go. But if you have time, use it to the last minute. Put on some slow 80s’ tunes or Drake… they both do the trick. Though Drake may get you thinking about your ex, so be careful. [Read: Slow sex – 13 steamy reasons why it’s the best sex ever]
#6 No pressure. Don’t feel a pressure to try to be better in bed. Listen, I didn’t know how to do cowgirl until I was in my early twenties. I just didn’t understand. Did I suck? Probably, but I didn’t put that pressure on myself. Instead, I practiced and oh… I got better.
#7 Know the basics. Know how to give a blowjob, how to eat a girl out, how to give head, how to French kiss – you know, the basics. Master these. When you have a strong foundation, you’ll be able to build on top of it, then you’ll know how to be better in bed. [Read: 9 sexiest foreplay tips you can ever use in bed]
#8 Get out of your head. Everyone can get self-conscious when having sex with someone. They’re worried about the face they’re making or the fat that’s jiggling on their thighs – it’s normal. But, you have to get yourself out of your head.
The other person isn’t thinking about the fat under your arms or how loud you moan. You make them horny, and they don’t care about anything else.
#9 Make time for lovemaking. You need to make time to make love. If you’re always working, you’re probably tired. But you’re ignoring a fundamental part of your relationship – intimacy. It’s crucial. So, make sure you make the time to dedicate to yourself and your partner.
#10 Surprise them. Who wouldn’t love if their partner showed up at their work for a quickie? Or if they’re driving, and all of a sudden they get a blowjob or fingered? You don’t have to surprise them with an expensive vacation, you can have a lot of fun with doing something in the moment… wherever you are. [Read: Surprise sex – Shock and awe your partner with these naughty moves]
#11 Bring out the toys. Use toys – this isn’t the 1950s anymore. Missionary is not the only position you’re allowed to do. Try vibrators, dildos, anal beads, butt plugs – whatever it is that turns you two on.
Go together to the store or shop online and pick something that you both think would be fun to try. Is there a chance you’re not going to like it? Yes. Will you have a good laugh? Absolutely.
#12 Role-play. Role-playing is fun, and who knows, maybe you’ll uncover your hidden talent of acting. Point is, role-playing is a fun way of bringing in other people into the bedroom, without actually bringing in new people. You can be whoever you want and have fun with it. [Read: The sexual role play guide for beginners]
#13 Focus on foreplay. People always forget foreplay, and I cannot emphasize the importance of it. You need foreplay. If you’re just going straight to penetration, it’s boring. If you want to know how to be better in bed, focus on foreplay.
#14 Exercise. Take care of yourself. You probably didn’t even think of this when you were wondering how to be better in bed, but it’s pretty important. By exercising, you’re working your cardiovascular system, and that will help with your endurance in bed. No one wants to have 5-minute sex every night. So, if you’re already out of breath after 2 minutes, hit the gym. Your partner will thank you.
#15 Try almost everything once. Don’t be closed-minded. Unless it’s something that makes you feel unsafe. You should be open-minded and willing to try out different things with your partner. That way, you see what works for you and what doesn’t. Just make sure to communicate to your partner. [Read: 20 new things to try in bed with your lover at least once]
#16 Don’t take it seriously. Sex isn’t something super serious – it’s not a job interview. To be better in bed, you want to be able to relax and have a laugh if you accidentally fart or elbow your partner in the stomach. If you can’t laugh with your partner, you won’t be relaxed or comfortable, so the sex will not be great.