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10 Sexy Ways to Get Over a Sexual Dry Spell

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Are you bored of sex? If you feel like you’re experiencing a bad case of sexual dry spell, use these 10 sexy tips to bring the sexy back in romance. By Elizabeth Arthur

sexual dry spell

A dry spell isn’t the end of the world.

If you’ve ever been in a long term relationship, there’s a big chance that you’ve experienced this more than once.

All of us experience droughts of sexual dry spells now and then.

When there’s so much going on in your life, it’s easy to overlook a few minutes of sexual pleasure now and then, right?

When both of you look for awkward excuses or lame reasons to avoid having sex, or if both of you just don’t enjoy it anymore, big chances are, both of you are experiencing a sexual dry spell.

[Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship]

Love, romance and dry spells

Most lovers get confused over this, but it’s the truth. Love and sex are two completely different emotions. As surprising as it may seem, you can love one person and yet, be extremely sexually attracted to someone else.

It’s true. Love makes sex feel better because you’re mixing two pleasurable emotions. But sex by itself can be enjoyed too. [Read: 30 ways to spice up your sex life]

Your partner and you may love each other, but have a boring sex life. That doesn’t mean both of you are falling out of love. It just means that both of you are not sexually attracted to each other anymore *which is just as bad*.

10 ways to get over a sexual dry spell

If you’re bored of having sex with your lover, do something about it. Sex is an integral part of a healthy romantic relationship. Once sex gets out of the picture, it’s only a matter of time before one of you get sexually excited by someone else, which will lead to infatuation and a confused state of am-I-in-love-anymore?

If you’ve been having a hard time getting hard or wet down there, use these 10 sexy tips to end that dry spell and bring sexy back into love.

#1 Don’t put pressure on each other. Yes, both of you haven’t had enjoyable sex for a while. And odds are, one of you may be having a hard time staying in the mood. If your partner’s not able to stay in the sexy mood for as long as it takes, don’t put more pressure on your partner to perform. It’ll only make sex feel more like a pain than anything else.

Try to change the conversation, or cuddle up, or use your hands to complete what your privates couldn’t. Just don’t let the pressure build up to the point where sex becomes a cause for stress and fear. [Read: How to keep an erection up for longer in 20 ways]

#2 Work out and look better naked. Looking better can do wonders for your sex life. You’d look better which would make you feel better about yourself. And your partner would love the fit, sexy all new you. Perhaps you haven’t realized it yet, but your sex life may be going downhill only because you don’t find yourself attractive or your partner doesn’t find you sexy anymore. [Read: The right way to get motivated to work out]

#3 Be happy. Happiness has a huge role to play in your sex life. If you’re not happy, sex can be rather stressful and boring. If you’re going through a dry spell, talk to each other about it the next day.

Communicate about other stressful issues in each other’s lives that may be causing the dry spell. By doing this, you’re making your partner feel understood. And at the same time, you can put the blame on some other stressful circumstance, which will take a load of pressure off your shoulders. [Read: How to be happy in life all the time]

#4 Go out with your own friends. Get away from each other for a while. Perhaps both of you are spending too much time with each other. Go out with your own friends, have fun and miss each other enough to bring the sexual excitement back.

Go out with your own friends, come back home and jump into bed with your lover. Sometimes, all the sweating and the fun you had outside can make both of you feel hornier at the end of the day.

#5 Go out together with other couples. Double dating can be sexy. Unlike going out with casual friends, on a double date you’re hanging out with another couple. Hold each other’s hands, indulge in a bit of PDA and try to turn each other on. Making out in front of someone else is always sexy. Sometimes, teasing each other in front of another couple can give you a sexual rush that’ll last several months. Use these 30 dirty truth or dare questions with another couple to end your dry spell and get your libido soaring to a whole new high.

#6 Watch porn together. All of us enjoy porn. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a guy or a girl. Porn is still enjoyable for both sexes. If you and your partner have had to endure a sexual dry spell for a while, get into bed together and watch a few porn movies with a decent storyline. It’ll keep both of you engrossed and wet. Stroke each other and have sex while watching the movie.

If you’d like it, talk about the movie with each other while watching it and visualize sexy fantasies with each other. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else with your partner]

#7 Get drunk together. Better yet, get drunk while watching porn. When you get tipsy, your reflexes may slow down, but your pleasure sensations go up. At times, even the slightest stroke can be more arousing than foreplay. Get drunk together, cozy up and talk dirty or watch a sexy movie. You’ll end up in bed before either of you realize it.

#8 Go clubbing. Grind each other on a crowded dance floor. Have a few drinks, and step on the dance floor along with other couples. Clubs always make people feel sexy and aroused. Dance against each other and move your bodies along each other. It’ll involuntarily arouse both of you enough to want to drive back home and have sex at the doorstep. [Read: How to grind with a guy sexily and discreetly]

#9 Ban sex for a month. You may have had a dry spell for longer than a month, but by banning sex, you make it taboo and more exciting. Use the other tips, but avoid having sex with each other. Soon enough, the sexual tension and excitement will rekindle in your relationship.

#10 Flirt with others. Flirting is nothing but talking complimentarily with another person. Flirting with someone else makes you feel more sexy and desirable. This is especially true for men, because they end up dropping their testosterone levels once they enter a long term relationship, which makes them feel unsexy. [Read: 10 ways to increase your sex appeal instantly]

When you have a flirty conversation with someone, be it at work or when you’re out with your own friends, you’d feel more sexually excited and feel attractive. And when you get back home to your partner, you’d feel more confident about your own sex appeal and your appearance, which in turn will make you a much better lover in bed.

[Read: The 7 sexiest types of sex you can ever have]

Sexual dry spells are more common than you think. But instead of giving up on your libido, do something sexy and bring the wet showers back in bed with these 10 sexy ways to get over a sexual dry spell!


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Have your say!
  • Stephanie
    November 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    At first, I thought these ideas were out there, in the red zone. I mean, flirting with others? I’m in a long term relationship for the last 6 years. We aren’t married, but both of us have accepted the fact that we’re soulmates and completely happy to be with each other. We’ve decided to get married in another year’s time when we’re secure financially. But for the last year or so, we’ve just not been having sex even though we’re living together. We used to have sex at least 4 times a week, and now we just have sex once in a month or two. I wasn’t frustrated, but I knew we needed help getting over our sex lives. My partner and I decided to try these steps and see if they actually make a difference.

    And a pointer to couples experiencing a dry spell, these steps work. When I started harmlessly flirting with other guys at work, I started feeling sexy and confident about myself. And the highpoint of these steps was #8. My partner and I went clubbing the other night, and we were fooling around and grinding, and touching each other as other couples watched us, and it drove both of us mad with lust. We got back home, and for the first time in years, we were so horny we literally couldn’t wait to throw our clothes off and get into bed. He even started feeling me up while driving back home. And trying new things in bed definitely makes even an older relationship feel so much sexier.

  • MDL
    November 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    Same here. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years…live together, raise our children together. Im 29 and hes 34, so we are both relatively young. We have a fantastic relationship. We have fun, we actually enjoy being with each other and we are open and honest. On the same token we aren’t “stage 5 clingers,” we respect each others privacy and indeoendence…..I love our relationship. The one part that is breaking my heart is that the sex. Has. Stopped. When I say that we don’t have sex I mean it. In 2013 wr had sex maybe 4 times. In his defense he is on a medication that effects libido, but there is NO intimacy what so ever. Every now and then wr hold hands, we give each other our daily “see you after work” peck, but that’s as far as it goes. I want him so badly that it hurts…and I’ve told him that. He apologizes and says that he feels bad, but he just doesn’t feel that way and it’s because of his medication. And I do know that to be the truth, so I know it’s not just an excuse. But it still hurts. It isn’t just a matter of me being horny, it actually hurts my heart to not be wanted or desired. When we were younger we had such incredible sex all the time….it was just out of this world. But now even the 4 times this past year that we did have sex it was just like he wanted to do it out of pity and he did it as fast as he could do ge to it over with and all 4 times I had to finish myself off because he finished so quickly. Then when it was over he gets up and we clean up and then go back to our seperate sides of the bed.
    I have tried everything…. at this point, I have resolved to the fact that we most likely will never have a satisfying, intimate or exciting sex life. I have resolved to the fact that yes…he does love me and that’s just going to have to be enough. Sex just won’t be a part of our life.
    Thankfully, I can at least count on my fingers for some sensuality.
    my last attempt will be to make my body as close to perfection as I can (mind you I am a pretty good looking woman, but I do have about 10 pounds to lose.) And if a perfect body doesn’t make him attracted to me….then I will officially give up on sex and find happiness in a relationship where I am loved but not desired. :-(

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