Maybe you’ve heard of it, and you’re now curious as to what female orgasm denial actually is. Let me feed your curiosity with everything you need to know.
Everyone knows how important orgasms are for both men and women. When having sex with someone, you want them to orgasm. You want them to have the best sexual experience with you, it’s normal. So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret to make your orgasms even better, female orgasm denial.
When we orgasm, it helps us relieve stress, increases our immune system, and even helps to give you a good night sleep. Have you ever seen your partner pass out right after having sex? It’s all because of their orgasm. Even if an orgasm didn’t have these benefits, it feels amazing which makes sense why we’re also looking for that person that’ll blow our minds.
14 things to know about female orgasm denial
So, now that you know how amazing orgasms are, you probably wonder why someone would be interested in female orgasm denial? Why would anyone want to deny themselves the ability to have an orgasm? Are they crazy? Well, they’re actually not crazy. In fact, they may be onto something.
Though we think an orgasm is essential for amazing sex, also holding back from having one can also be just as pleasurable. So, what’s female orgasm denial exactly?
#1 What is female orgasm denial? Basically, orgasm denial is when one person refrains from orgasming. I know this sounds a little vague, but there are different ways a woman denies an orgasm. It really depends on if she’s the one denying herself or if her partner denies her one. [Read: 10 easy tips for women who want a mind blowing orgasm]
#2 It’s connected to a power exchange. Female orgasm denial is connected to a power exchange between the couple. For many couples, they choose to practice orgasm denial by allowing one person control over the other. The submissive must follow their partner’s rules. Of course, everything is spoken and agreed upon before sex and everyone knows the limitations to the dominant’s control. [Read: Your guide to having submissive sex]
#3 Start off slow. If this is your first time trying female orgasm denial, my suggestion would be to take it nice and slow. This isn’t a competition. Plus, it’s new for both of you. You and your partner need to figure out what you both like and dislike, altering the rules as you go. The first couple of times may be awkward, but that’s only because you try to figure out what works for you.
#4 Practice on yourself first. If you’re the submissive, you need to know how your body works. Take some time on your own to figure out which masturbation technique suits you the best, if toys help or if you prefer fingers. You also need to know where the edge is to when you’re about to cum. So, get to know your body and the feeling of just when you’re about to orgasm.
#5 Work on controlling your orgasm. This is called orgasm denial for a reason. If you’re submissive, you need to be able to control your orgasms. Your partner helps you get to the point where you’re about to edge, but, you’re really the only one who knows when you’re going to orgasm. So, when you’re alone and masturbating when you feel yourself about to orgasm, stop. [Read: 6 sizzling ways to control your orgasms]
#6 Deny your orgasm a couple of times. In the beginning, you may not be able to control your orgasm which is perfectly normal. It’s very hard to do and you need a lot of discipline and concentration. But your goal, as you continue to practice, is to get to the point where you deny yourself an orgasm two or three times.
#7 The more you deny, the better. If you’re able to deny yourself an orgasm, it works to your benefit. The longer you hold off, the more likely you’ll have an even stronger and more intense orgasm. See what I mean? A little practice pays off big time.
#8 The basic edging position. If you’re alone, this is how to practice. Sit on either your bed or a chair, whichever is more comfortable. You’ll want your legs spread open and then you’ll want to masturbate. It’s the traditional masturbation position. When you try to deny an orgasm, you want to keep it simple in the beginning.
#9 Use other parts of your body. You don’t only have to focus on your vagina when edging. Grab your breasts, suck on your fingers, rub your thighs—whatever helps you become aroused, give it a try. Don’t limit yourself to just your vagina. Your body is extremely sensitive when aroused, so try different methods out. [Read: 11 sexy solo moves to try out on yourself]
#10 Choose someone you trust as a partner. Female orgasm denial is very intimate and needs a lot of patience. You don’t want to do this with someone who actually doesn’t care about you and your needs. You want someone who wants to help you and really act like a true dominant. So, make sure you choose a person you trust.
#11 Try using sex toys. You can also use sex toys while trying to edge. If you already mastered edging with your fingers, add in a sex toy for some extra pleasure. There’s no actual rule as to how you deny an orgasm, you do what feels good for you.
#12 Think of orgasm denial as a tool. Though it’s a pleasurable activity, think of female orgasm denial as a tool for receiving pleasure. Through orgasm denial, you increase your tolerance for stimulation, control your orgasms, and orgasm on demand. These sexual pleasures not only do wonders for you, but they also turn on your partner.
#13 Orgasm denial is linked to BDSM. Usually, orgasm denial is often used in BDSM. This is because, with orgasm denial, there’s usually a dominant and a submissive. The submissive is denied the orgasm, while the dominant denies it. So, this is why it’s used within BDSM, but you can also do it on its own. [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for the curious first timer]
#14 People do this with chastity belts. I’ve never seen a chastity belt in real life, so I don’t know how to actually use one. But, what I do know, is that many people who indulge in female orgasm denial use a chastity belt to do so. This is a little more intense since you’re unable to even access your genitals. This usually makes the act more interesting and arousing.
You’re probably surprised since you didn’t know female orgasm denial was a thing. Well, now you know. Why not give it a try? You and your partner may get more arousal from it than you originally thought.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...