Worried that your curved penis won’t be able to please your girl? We’ve got some tips and tricks to remedy your curvature conundrum!
It has been very much emphasized here how guys could get conscious about their penis and how it would affect their sex life. Next to size, guys are also mindful of their penis shape. While the normal and often idealized image of a penis is the straight, majestic tower standing proudly on its owner’s crotch, there are also chaps who belong to the other end of the “curve,” packing bananas in their pants.
Now, a little bend below the belt is not all that bad. If you’re thinking that upon dropping your pants your girl would scream in horror like she’s seen the meat hook from Scream, you’ll be surprised that the curved penis can accomplish lots of things that the average penis could otherwise fail at. In fact, with a little know-how and some bedroom creativity, you could use your crooked crusader to your advantage and give your partner the best sex ever. [Read: What do women really think about your penis?]
Are curved penises normal?
Yes. Despite popular belief that a penis is perfectly straight, they would tend to have a slight curvature that would be more noticeable during erection. Penises could be curved upwards, downwards, or even sideways.
However, there are extreme cases of penis curvature that make it difficult for a man to engage in sexual activities because of pain whenever he gets an erection or ejaculates. These could be caused by penile injury sustained during sex, or from a condition called Peyronie’s disease. In these situations, medical treatment should be sought, lest you incapacitate your member for life.
Benefits of a curved penis
Women would care less about size, but they will get interested in shape. In addition to its unique appearance, a curved penis has a distinct edge from its straight contemporaries by stimulating hard-to-reach pleasure spots with relative ease. In addition to this, a curved penis covers a lot more area than straight ones, giving women the impression that they’re being entered with something twice its actual size.
How to use your bent baton
It is important to pay attention where your shaft starts to curve. As mentioned, penises could curve in different directions. The point of curvature is the area that fondles your partner’s G-spot by adding more pressure and area of friction for enhanced pleasure.
#1 Doggy style. This position is a staple even for guys with straight penises. However, the real fireworks display happens when a guy with a curved member uses this position. The doggy style position is advisable for a guy whose penis is curved upwards because the position allows the curvy part to make full contact with their partner’s G-spot. Guys can maximize the pleasure by adopting a grinding rhythm to their thrusts, thus controlling the pace of the action prior to orgasm. [Read: 9 ways to make doggy style your favorite position]
#2 Missionary position. This classic, everybody-knows-how-to position may be boring for the rest of the world, but not for the dude packing a “BoomeWang” between the legs. Missionary is another trump in the bedroom playbook for guys with an upward curved penis.
This position allows your partner’s body to naturally adapt to the shape of the penis, thus allowing a full, snug fit. The curvature ensures that every thrust comes with an added treat of the head rubbing the G-spot and the curve pressing on the posterior walls of the vagina. [Read: 8 ways to make missionary sex magical]
#3 Girl on top or cowgirl position. If you’re feeling a bit lazy and she’s greedy for control, then the cowgirl position would be good for you. Her weight bearing down on your codpiece creates a feeling that she’s being pried open by your curve down under.
It doesn’t matter if you’re curved whichever way. She can compensate by grinding her G-spot area towards the protruding part of your curvy penis. In addition, both of you have your hands free, which you can use to fondle her breasts while she scratches her name in your chest out of pleasure. [Read: 18 girl on top tips to make sex a lot sexier]
#4 The pogo stick. The pogo stick is a position where the guy stands, while the girl wraps her arms around the guy’s neck and her legs around his waist. The guy supports her weight by the buttocks where he can also control the bouncing motion the girl makes.
This position creates a similar effect to missionary, allowing the girl to fully accommodate the guy’s curved penis with every thrust rubbing on her G-spot.
#5 The “T” position. If you possess a penis that’s curved sideways, the “T” position would allow you to fully utilize those unusual angles for better G-spot stimulation. In this position, the girl lies on her back with her legs spread, while the guy lies perpendicular to her while straddling one of her legs between his own. This position is good for a long, slow humping session, as both of you are in a relaxed, comfortable position.
#6 The fusion or Volkswagen logo position. In this position, you both sit facing each other and leaning backwards while using your hands to support your bodies. The girl spreads her legs with her hips over your pelvis, while you thrust using your waist. The fusion position provides a good view of your member entering her while still giving the anterior wall of her vagina that much-desired attention.
#7 The sweet 69. Who says that curved penises are useless for oral sex? Wrong! In fact, curved penises are easier to take in than straight ones. So if you’re into the deep throat thing and if she’s up for the task, then you’d better try the 69. The 69, paired with an upward curved penis allows the girl to easily take the penis deeper into her mouth as its shape conforms to the shape of her throat.
If your penis is curved sideways, you can slightly alter this position by lying on your back while your girl blows you from the side. To return the favor, you’re free to use your hands to pleasure her from below. [Read: 18 unknown and fascinating facts about the penis]
#8 Use textured condoms. If you really want to make the most of your curved penis, then you’d better try putting on a textured condom to further intensify the G-spot stimulation as you get it going. There are condoms that provide ribs, rings, studs, and a combination of these protrusions to tickle her fun spots. [Read: The 13 types of penises that women love… or laugh at!]
Having a curved penis should not be cause for concern or shame. With the right tricks and knowledge, you could transform a perceived deformed monstrosity into a heavenly pleasure machine.
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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...