You don’t need to take acrobatic yoga or reenact porn to give him pleasure. Actually, it’s easier to know what men want in bed than you think it is.
I know you probably think men have these unrealistic expectations for women when it comes to sex. You may feel you literally must jump through hoops to sexually arouse him. But listen, it’s not the case. Learning what men want in bed is a whole lot simpler than that.
Of course, you have guys that think sex is literally like the porn they watch. They’re delusional and rare, thank god. The rest of men know that amazing sex isn’t necessarily about mastering every pose in the Kamasutra.
What men want in bed
So, if you’ve been nervously thinking about what men want in bed, take a step back and chill out. I think this is your first problem. Sex isn’t a competition, nor should it make you feel inadequate. Instead, when it comes to sex, you should be your freest and most liberated.
But of course, that’s easier said than done. It took me a while to gain confidence and find my sexuality. Nevertheless, it’s not impossible. I’m going to show you what men want in bed more than anything else, and you’ll probably be surprised by some of the answers. It’s not as complex as you think it is.
#1 Confidence. If you want amazing sex, you need to show him that you know how lucky he is to have you in his bed. Confidence is key in everything. However, it’s also very important when it comes to sex.
Get over your jiggly thighs or your tummy, you need to love and own these parts of your body. I know women who don’t do specific positions because of their insecurities, but men don’t care. If you own your insecurities, it’s even hotter. [Read: How to have body confidence in the bedroom]
#2 You take control. You don’t need to wait for him to make the first move, this isn’t the 1950s. If you want to kiss him, make the first move and go from there. Trust me, he’s not going to push you away and reject you. You guys have had sex before so this won’t be an issue. He’ll probably be surprised that you made the first move which makes him even more aroused. [Read: How to get any guy to kiss you when you want him to]
#3 Breaking routine. You two may have sex in the mornings, but why not switch it up? Everyone gets bored of routine, he’s no different. Both men and women want spontaneity and excitement when it comes to sex.
So, surprise him with a quickie when he least expects it. Maybe you’re having people coming over for dinner in half an hour. Well, you still have some time to give him a quick blowjob.
#4 They want to make you orgasm. Most men want to make you orgasm. If your man isn’t interested in making you cum, well, then you need to find a new man because he’s selfish. When a man sees you orgasm because of them, well, how can he not be turned on?
#5 You come prepared. This may come as a surprise, but men actually like it when you come prepared for sex. No one wants to be in the middle of foreplay and then discover that they don’t have a condom. Carry a condom or two. Many women don’t want it to give off the wrong impression, it won’t. If anything, it shows you’re responsible for your own sexual health. [Read: How different condom types can improve your sex life]
#6 Light is everything. I cringe when I think about having sex in a lit room, but for men, this is their dream. They want to see your face and body when having sex with you because they’re visual. I know, I, too, have this insecurity, but, remember you need to be confident. So, facing your insecurities actually makes you stronger. [Read: 15 moves to seriously arouse him when making out]
#7 Tell him what you want. He’s no mind reader and neither are you. Why not cut the time of him trying to find out what turns you on and just tell him what you like. You don’t need to give him a list. Instead, during foreplay or sex, tell him. He’ll change his methods pretty quickly when he sees your reaction.
#8 He loves to be praised. You don’t need to tell him every two seconds how amazing his dick is and how good he is in bed. But every once in a while, tell him that it feels good or you like it when he does that with his tongue. You need to let him know the things that you like, not only will it boost his ego but he’ll remember to do those things to you in the future. [Read: 20 sexy things to turn your guy on every single time]
#9 He likes noise. There are some men who don’t like any sound when having sex, you’ll figure out if he’s one of them pretty quickly. However, many men love hearing you moan and scream in the bedroom. It helps him gauge if you like what he’s doing, so, think of it as a guide for him. You don’t have to scream out, even soft “oh, yeah’s” will do the trick. [Read: How to sound sexy in bed and arouse your partner]
#10 Be open-minded. Men have fantasies just like you. So, be open-minded when it comes to theirs. You don’t want to shame him. These are his fantasies and he’s sharing them with you. So, why not give his fantasies a try? He can try yours and you can both explore and experiment together.
#11 Lingerie is sexy. Now you don’t have to look like a Victoria’s Secret model, this isn’t the goal. The goal is to feel sexy in naughty lingerie for your man. You may not think that he even notices but trust me, he notices. Of course, the lingerie won’t be on you for long and that’s how you can tell if it worked.
#12 Talk dirty to me. Jason Derulo wasn’t wrong. Men love dirty talk in the bedroom. If you haven’t done it before, don’t worry. Saying phrases like, “You make me so wet” or “I love when you do that” is enough to rev his engine. [Read: Use dirty talk to turn on your lover like no one else]
#13 Foreplay. Men actually do like foreplay. The problem is the miscommunication between the sexes. When we’re aroused, we tend to go straight for the goods. Naturally, this comes across as us not actually giving a shit about the other person and their needs. So, men actually do like foreplay, but when your guys are highly aroused, you tend to skip it. Slow it down and let him touch you.
#14 Men like porn. Men are visual, so, many watch porn. This doesn’t have anything to do with you. So, if they ask if you want to watch porn with him, don’t assume it’s because they’re not turned on by you. Give it a try and find a style of porn which suits you and make you feel aroused. [Read: Porn for couples: What will turn you both on]
#15 Get handsy. Men love it when you use your hands. Don’t be scared to get handsy. Touch them, rub them, grab them—just go for it. If you’re just lying there and not getting into it, then maybe you should ask yourself why you have sex with this person. This is your time to be sexually liberated and explore your partner.