Accelerate the mood during sex with a few well-chosen words, or bring sex to a crashing halt with ill-chosen words. Here are the things to say during sex.
You’d think it would be easy to know the right things to say during sex, right? A compliment here, an “ooohhh” and an “ahhhhhh” there, a few token statements of appreciation—fairly standard stuff, really.
However, there are those who really have no filter and consistently fail the Quality Control test between brain and mouth. Others, perhaps more understandably, kind of lose it during the passion of the moment, and half of the time don’t really think about or even mean what they’re saying.
The trick is to remember anything you say during sex has twice the power, and twice the ability to lift or destroy someone, as it does in normal life.
Things to say during sex
Although losing yourself in the moment is a wonderful thing, and no one would deny you that pleasure, if you are a bit of a “blurter” maybe you could do with a little help from the following list. These 20 examples will help you manage things you say during sex. [Read: Sexy things to say in bed: 30 lusty lines to drive them wild]
#1 Tell them how amazing they look. Getting naked with someone, especially for the first time, can be really intimidating, making people doubly aware of all the imperfections you might normally hide under clothes. Because of this, it’s advisable to focus on those parts of their appearance you find particularly attractive.
#2 Tell them how good it is. Telling them how good the sex is, how much you’re enjoying it, not only lets them know they’re doing okay, it also relaxes everything a little. The more relaxed you both are, the better the sex will be.
#3 Tell them you love them. This applies, of course, to established couples rather than a one-night stand—unless your aim is to look like a stalker. Between a loving couple, these words take the whole thing to an entirely higher plane.
#4 May I?… If you’re planning to do something a little out of the ordinary, make sure you approach the subject first before diving in. Although in maybe a slightly less formal manner than the title suggests. Otherwise, you may end up ruining the mood.
#5 Moans and groans. Nothing suggests you’re enjoying the experience more than a few suggestive sounds. Let yourself relax, and your vocal chords find their own way of communicating. [Read: 9 sexy reasons why women moan and groan in bed]
#6 Size matters. Men and women both love to be told their sexually intimate areas are a particularly good fit. Big for the guys, small for the gals. There’s nothing wrong with a little white lie on this front either. But be wary of giving the compliment if, due to being at an obvious physical disadvantage, it is an obvious lie. Otherwise it may be misconstrued as sarcasm.
#7 Their fantasies. If you know what their sexual fantasies are, then set the scene and paint a picture catering to them as you have sex. This will absolutely blow their mind. [Read: 12 arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]
#8 How does that feel? Ask your sexual partner, although not too often, how something feels. This shows you are catering to their needs and will also keep the mood on track.
#9 I love your scent/taste. Sensuality is the key to enjoying good sex, and showing them you appreciate them at such a deep-down, animalistic level, sets you up for an explosive finish. It also heads off any insecurities they may have about such things. [Read: What does a vagina taste like? People tell it like it is]
#10 Talk it down. When sex is finished, the conversation shouldn’t. This is the time for lots of sweet talk and some reminiscing about the recent events. Reinforcing the emotional and physical link you just established in a verbal manifestation. [Read: How to cuddle: Cuddling positions to being a loving cuddler]
Things NOT to say during sex
Just as important as what to say, is the list of 10 things NOT to say during sex.
#11 You’re doing it wrong. Jeez… a little sensitivity please. Instead of pointing the finger at someone, try saying something instead like, “Mmmmmm, that’s nice… now let’s try doing it this way.” At least then you’ll get what you want instead of an instant desertion and an early night!
#12 Are you in yet? Oooof. How to ruin a guy’s confidence in one easy step! Ladies, implying he is so small you can’t feel him enter you is nothing short of brutal. You’re unlikely to get anything else from him ever again. [Read: 15 things you do that turn him off while having sex]
#13 Can we get on with it? You’re basically saying you’re bored, not looking forward to the ensuing act, and you want to get it over with. Hardly the perfect recipe to make someone feel wanted and/or at ease.
#14 You’re not very good at this. If they really are that bad, then help them learn rather than criticize them.
#15 You need to cut down on the bacon! If they’re overweight, or have any other physical particularities you’re not that keen on, now is definitely not the time to mention it.
#16 You’re not very big/small! It’s like dropping a wand in a wizard’s sleeve. Like shoving a needle where a crowbar’s been. If your partner has a particularly small penis, or a not particularly tight vagina, you need to find alternative ways of achieving mutual satisfaction and avoid destroying them with a comment haunting them for the rest of their lives. [Read: The real iron maiden – Your guide to Geisha Balls]
#17 That reminds me of… Whatever you do, NEVER compare what’s happening in bed now with what a former sexual partner did. A surefire way to bring it all to a swift and bitter end.
#20 Nothing. Rolling over after the event and saying nothing, going to sleep, or even getting dressed and making a swift exit are all really offensive things to do. Implying you were just there to get your rocks off and your sexual partner may as well have been a sex toy.
Saying the right thing during sex really isn’t rocket science, but if you struggle to make a positive verbal impression, then just keep the above points in mind for a sexy romp together with all the right (and wrong) things to say during sex.
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David Cullen is frequently described as erudite, insightful and witty – but only by himself and only after several large glasses of Rioja....