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Sexual Foreplay: 26 Lusty Secrets to Do It Well & Make Them Hot & Horny

What does foreplay mean? How does it make sex more pleasurable? If you’re looking for foreplay ideas before intercourse, here’s how to kiss, lick and arouse to orgasm!

what is foreplay and how to

Sex is fun and exciting, but if you try and go straight at it without warming up the oven first, it’s not going to be as mind-blowing as it could be! If you’re wondering ‘what is foreplay,’ that’s basically what it is – getting both of you revved up and ready to go before the main event!

For sure, there’s a lot to be said for a good, old quickie, but taking your time and learning how to foreplay properly will mean you both enjoy it so much more, and you’ll get a world of pleasure out of it. [Read: 20 most common sexual problems in a relationship that can easily be avoided]

So, what is sexual foreplay exactly?

Lots of people wonder what is foreplay, but it’s really not all that complicated. Although foreplay (also called outercourse) might mean different things to different people, it basically builds sexual arousal by simply touching, licking, nibbling, sucking, and caressing before sexual activity.

Think of engaging in foreplay like warming a car before driving it. We know, you really want to hit the gas pedal and go. But maybe it’s better to wait for the engine to warm up. You get what we mean?

Everyone can benefit from foreplay— be it new or long-term couples, same-sex or heterosexual couples, people with vaginas, or people with penises — but unfortunately, many people skip over it and assume it’s not as much fun as the rest of the sexual experience.

The truth is, it can be more enjoyable if you know what to do! [Read: How to have sex appeal – Secrets to unleash your inner sexy beast]

Discovering foreplay can revive a dull sex life

You may not realize this, but sexual intimacy is just like romance.

It’s always heart-pumping at the beginning until it runs out of steam and turns predictable and less-than-adrenalin-inducing over time.

And just like you rely on gestures and surprises in romance, you need to keep the excitement alive in bed too, by constantly turning the wheel of sexual passion. [Read: The untold sex secrets that can change your sex life forever!]

Foreplay is about sexually and mentally connecting with your partner *and exciting them*. After all, sex is the best when you have a connection under the sheets.

Taking the time to feel your partner and heighten their senses is what makes the difference between intercourse alone and “oh my God, you have no idea what I did last night” sex. Aim for the latter.

Foreplay can also get you in the mood, so if your sex life is lacking in passion, learning the art of foreplay could be all it takes to revive the fun of the honeymoon period!

Foreplay is for everyone!

Let’s be honest here, most guys could skip foreplay and report having just as much of a pleasurable sexual experience. Women, on the other hand, practically NEED it in order to gain sexual satisfaction.

But, that doesn’t mean foreplay can’t benefit everyone.

For men, it’s a much less significant part of ensuring you get off during sex than it is for women. Foreplay is the part of sex that happens before the main event.

But for women, it’s what puts them in the mood, helps prepare the body by keeping all those important juices flowing, and is one major factor in making sure she orgasms. [Read: The underrated kinds of foreplay to bring some serious sizzle to bed]

Without foreplay, well, it’s like eating a hot dog in a bun without any condiments. It’s somewhat enjoyable, but would be a hundred times better all lubed up with delicious greatness.

While many people think foreplay has to do with being physical with your partner, it’s just as much about setting the mood up for emotional intimacy. Moreover, it can lower inhibition, especially for new couples. While men tend to associate sex with physical touch, women associate it with touch AND feelings.

Now you know what is the meaning of foreplay, it’s time to give you some tips to do it the right way! [Read: 30 really sexy ways to spice up your sex life and leave you horny 24/7]

What is considered foreplay? Some passionate tips to live out your wildest fantasies!

Does the thought of foreplay in bed stress you out? Or do you wonder what you can do to stimulate your lover and experience the mad rush of passionate sex like a horny one-night stand? 

Try these foreplay tips – they’ll explode your mind with sexual ideas and naughty thoughts every time you’re in bed with your partner. [Read: The best ways to make long term sex feel like a one night stand instantly!]

1. Start outside the bedroom

Sex is predictable when it’s initiated within the walls of the bedroom all the time. Every now and then, initiate sex outside the bedroom. You don’t have to sit close and slip your hands into your lover’s shorts out of the blue. That might land you in trouble outdoors!

Instead, get closer *innocently* and sit down for a few minutes while watching the television together. Just stroke your lover’s hands or play with their fingers in a flirty way, and when you feel the tingle of love, kiss your partner or cozy up under a blanket.

Before you know it, both of you will be having spontaneous sex without even realizing it. [Read: Spontaneous sex – Why you need it and how to do it right]

2. Learn to kiss passionately

Those quick sparrow pecks of goodbye kisses may work while saying goodbye and rushing to the office in the mornings. But in bed, that’s one of the biggest sexual turn offs.

Take your time. Even if you’ve kissed your lover a million times, a slow and sensual kiss can still feel intimate and sexy, like kissing them for the first time. Close your eyes, place your lips on your lover’s lips and play along, while moving your lips softly, slowly, and purposefully.

Breathe into each other slowly, and just experience the sensation. After all, there is nothing that feels as sexy as a perfect kiss with a lover who knows to kiss you just the way you want to be kissed. [Read: 28 sensual, romantic secrets to kiss someone deeply and passionately]

3. Slowly explore their body

Don’t be in a hurry. As you kiss your lover, run your hands along their back or over their arms or shoulders. Vaginal penetration doesn’t have to be the only sexy thing you do in bed.

Gently kiss your partner’s neck, arms, and the rest of their body. If your partner moans or relaxes their body, they probably like what you’re doing.

Let your hands linger all over their body, but as you do that, close your eyes and run your lips over the other parts of their body. Just experience the way your lover’s body feels against your lips. It’s sensual and arousing, and it’ll surely make both of you feel really horny! [Read: 20 hot sexy ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed]

4. Dirty talk

This is one of the sexiest things you can do in bed, and you don’t need to ask a sexologist to know that. The best part about dirty talking in bed is that you can let your partner know about your darkest sexual fantasies without the fear of being judged by your lover.

It’ll bring both of you closer, make both of you feel more intimate, and it’ll open a new door of sexual bliss. [Read: 23 tips to dirty talk and say the sexiest things in bed]

You can talk dirty anywhere, in bed or even in the living room, to get in the zone and build anticipation. Just talk about something naughty, be it a memory or a fantasy of yours. All it takes is a few sentences before both of you feel stiff around the loins! [Read: 50 dirty words and things to say to your lover and turn them on]

5. Use a mirror

It’s surprising just how many people find mirrors exciting and fun. Prop a long mirror horizontally on the bed, right next to the both of you. Get naked and play with each other’s bodies while watching each other in the mirror.

Just watching your partner getting stroked and teased in the mirror is a huge turn-on that’s definitely worth experiencing. And having sex while watching yourselves in the mirror? Well, that just gets even better!

6. Watch a sensual movie

Sometimes, the stress of foreplay can make sexual intercourse feel awkward and forced. You know you have to indulge in foreplay, and your partner knows it too. And all the drama and the stress of foreplay can just make you dislike it. So try something else that’ll play the part of sexy foreplay.

Watch a sexy movie, with a plot that both of you will enjoy. Just slip under the blanket, watch the movie and run your hands against each other. And at some point during the movie, both of you would be more than ready for sex yourselves. [Read: The best foreplay tips that will always work on men]

7. Enact your fantasies

Foreplay is fun for both lovers only when both of you enjoy it. And if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, you may end up hating foreplay and start avoiding sex just to skip the foreplay.

So try something that you know will excite you *and your lover at the same time*. Do you have a sexual fantasy that makes you feel horny each time you’re alone? Talk about it with your partner, or enact it with them.

It could be something sexually taboo, or a role playing idea, say, pretending to be strangers, or something that you’ve always wanted to do in bed. Talk about it with your lover while stroking each other, and try it. [Read: Top 17 sexual fantasies for men and top 16 sexual fantasies for women]

8. Naughty games

There’s nothing like a bit of fun in bed to take the stress off sexual foreplay that results in better sex that is naughtier, kinkier, and a lot sexier. Don’t focus on foreplay, and don’t think of sex. On a lazy afternoon or evening, just get into bed, and play a few dirty games.

Once you start enjoying these games, you’d want to play them every single day! [Read: 19 naughty foreplay sex games for couples to feel horny in minutes!]

9. Focus on your partner

You need to focus your attention away from your own body and focus it on your partner. If they’re focusing on you, well, then it’s a perfect blend. You’ll both be trying to arouse each other, and well, that can only lead to a positive outcome.

10. Don’t rush the clock

When it comes to understanding what is foreplay, you need to remember that it isn’t a race. You’re going to have sex, don’t worry. But there’s no point rushing into sex just after spending a few minutes on foreplay.

Remember, you’re warming up a car. If you drive it too soon when the engine is still cold, it’s not going to run well. Take your time and enjoy the moment.

11. Make out… high school style

Everyone loves making out, especially women. So, whether you’re a man or woman, take advantage of a good make out session. It can take you a long way. Plus, you’re more likely to become even more aroused while making out, so, it’s a win-win situation. [Read: 17 foreplay moves and ideas to leave any girl wet and waiting]

12. Ask what turns them on

If you’re not sure if what you’re doing is working, just ask them. Ask them what turns them on. Trust us, they’re horny, so they’re going to tell or even instruct you what to do. All you need to do is listen.

If you can do that, well, then you’ll be fine with following instructions.

13. Don’t just get handsy, use your tongue too

Don’t forget to use that beautiful tongue of yours. Use it while making out, during oral sex, while they’re kissing your body, while you’re caressing theirs.

You can use your tongue at almost any moment, and if you pick a sensitive area *like the nipples or earlobes*, it’ll hit their nerve endings and make them become aroused. [Read: Secret pleasure triggers to arouse any woman instantly]

14. Grind it up!

You don’t necessarily have to stimulate yourself or them. You can grind against your partner’s genitals, and that’ll work just as well. It’s also great if you have some music going on in the background.

If you have some rhythm, sync your grind along with the song. What could possibly be hotter than two bodies pressed against each other? You can try straddling them and humping, that’s usually a great way to get the blood flowing in your partner’s erogenous zones. [Read: The sexy, discreet secrets to grind up against a guy and leave him cumming]

15. Remove one of the five senses

As you already know, humans have five senses. However, when one sense is restricted, the other senses heighten.

Blindfold your partner and/or tie up their hands, preventing them from using that sense. By restricting them and that sense, you arouse them and also open their other senses – a double whammy. [Read: Foreplay done right – the art of really turning her on]

16. Try a sensual massage

Your goal is not to put your partner to sleep, but rather, your goal is to get them horny. If you’re too massage-focused, you’ll turn into a day spa, and that’s not the goal here.

Try to hit the areas that will turn your partner on. So, we’re talking about the mid-to-lower back, arms, shoulders, and inner thighs.

17. Slowly undress your partner

But do it nice and slow. Lock eyes. Be sensual with it. You may not even think of it, but undressing someone can be highly arousing if you do it slowly and passionately.

Feel their body with your fingers as you take off their shirt and pants. You’ll get them naked eventually, don’t worry, so just enjoy it.

18. Oral sex

Oral sex is a pretty big component of foreplay. You don’t have to have oral sex, however, it usually leads to penetrative sex anyways.

Don’t feel shy to go down on your girl or give your man a blowjob. Tease them by almost reaching the point where they come and then pull back… they’ll go nuts. If you want to level it up, oral sex foreplay can include foods that you can lick off each other, like whipped cream or chocolate sauce. [Read: 25 hot ways to make a guy go down on you and signs to know for sure if he likes it]

19. Try mutual masturbation

We know you probably masturbate on your own, but why not do it with your partner? It’s a great way to arouse yourself and your partner while watching each other masturbate.

Face each other and look at each other’s faces while touching yourselves. [Read: How to use mutual masturbation as foreplay and connect without touching]

20. Bring in the toys

You can also add sex toys during foreplay. Of course, you can bring them out during sex too, but this is a great opportunity to test things out and see what turns your partner on or off.

Dildos, vibrators, strap-ons, handcuffs – there’s an endless supply of toys to play with. [Read: 13 must-have couples’ sex toys for naughty first-timers]

21. Stimulate ALL their senses

Touch isn’t the only sense that we have, right? So why do people only assume that just touching and genital stimulation get things to where they need to be? You have to stimulate ALL of a person’s senses in order to put their nerves on edge.

Light some delicious-smelling candles, turn the lights down low, and put on your playlist of slow and sensual music. Then, focus on making them feel good through touch, or take it to the next level and glide an ice cube on their skin. [Read: 30 hot sexting to start a naughty texting marathon]

22. Use your voice

We respond to voice like you wouldn’t believe. Get your voice low, right next to their ear, and whisper something sexy and erotic to get their imagination spinning.

Better yet, use your voice to ask them what they want from you in a husky tone. Doing so not only makes them feel your hot breath tickle the inside of their ear, but they’ll just tell you what they want. It’s a win, win! [Read: 17 hacks to have a sexy voice and seduce anyone with the way you talk]

23. Hit those ultra-sensitive spots

Like we mentioned before, there are a ton of other sensitive spots on a person’s body that they feel sexual pleasure from, not just the penis or vagina. The neck, collarbone, ears, inner thighs, and even some people’s feet.

Make sure you’re not forgetting about all of these during foreplay. Our advice is to make a list in your head and work your way up or down, starting in one spot. [Read: The sexiest hot spots to kiss a woman and arouse her]

24. Pull their hair – gently

The funny thing about causing someone a small amount of pain when they’re sexually stimulated is that it actually increases their pleasure drastically. When someone feels pain, their body releases feel-good hormones that—when your body is already flooded with those—only make the pain feel that much better.

Just make sure you’re not actually hurting them and that they enjoy that type of foreplay. Some people might find it a little too much for their taste.

25. Tease them on and off

Increasing someone’s anticipation and playing tug of war with their pleasure is a great technique for foreplay.

By giving them what they want and then drawing back, you increase their desire for it and build sexual tension. So be a HUGE tease during foreplay. [Read: How to amp up the pleasure – 11 things that make you horny]

26. Pay attention to their body language and adjust accordingly

Body language gives away pretty much everything you need to know about whether or not someone is enjoying what you’re doing. If they’re being loud, arching their back, and breathing heavily, you’re moving in the right direction.

Use these foreplay tips, rev up that engine and have better sex!

Foreplay is enjoyable on its own, but it certainly leads to much hotter sex than if you skipped it altogether. These useful tips will give you a great starting position and from there, you can experiment and may be able to find out what you and your partner both enjoy.

[Read: 15 ways to tongue kiss and arouse your date in seconds]

Now that you know what is foreplay, use these sexual foreplay tips the next time you’re in bed and you’ll realize how amazing sex can really be! 

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...