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How to Initiate Sex: Turn On Your Lover in Alluring New Ways

how to initiate sex

Sometimes your partner isn’t in the mood when you are. While that can be a little frustrating, knowing how to initiate sex the right way will help.

Let’s be real, if you’ve been with the same partner for a while, sex can get a little boring. You may even realize that after the initial honeymoon phase is over, your once always-horny significant other just doesn’t seem to want it. And that means you need to learn how to initiate sex to get them in the mood.

You can’t just go up to your partner and say, “let’s have sex.” It just doesn’t work. Maybe it will occasionally, but it won’t be very exciting and the sex will be underwhelming.

Spicing up your sex life can save your relationship

I know a relationship is more than just sex, but getting frisky with each other plays a huge role. Intimacy is important. You bond and build a stronger connection when you get vulnerable and have sex.

Many couples have the most issues when their sex life is lacking. Their communication gets thrown off and they end up feeling distant from one another. So even though your partner may not be in the mood, get them in the mood. Learn how to initiate sex in an alluring and new way. [Read: 16 mind-blowing ways to spice up your relationship]

How to initiate sex and turn on your lover

There’s definitely a right and wrong way to initiate sex. If you do it in the wrong way, you won’t get anywhere. Knowing how to initiate sex with your partner in a way that makes them eager to hop in bed with you is the secret to a healthy sex life.

You both want to have sex. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of who is willing to put in the work to turn the other on. If that’s you, then you’re in the right place. Find out how to initiate sex in new, enticing ways. [Read: 9 non-sexual turn-ons that arouse girls instantly]

#1 Get an early start. If you want to have sex with your significant other that night, you should start initiating it early in the day. The best way to do this is by sending little texts or even naughty pictures while they’re at work.

Don’t just make it silly. Take it seriously and send them things you know would get them excited. Something as simple as, “I can’t stop thinking about the last thing we did in bed,” is enough to make them picture it. Build the anticipation and they’ll be ready when they come home. [Read: Sexting ideas – 14 sexy tips to effortlessly sext like a real pro]

#2 Pamper them. A great way to start initiating sex is to just pamper your partner. Draw them a bath, give them a nice back rub, and make them feel great. You can even give them a little foot massage and work your hands up their body.

When your partner is relaxed and they feel pampered, they’ll be more open to your advances. This makes it much easier to just start kissing them and get the ball rolling.

#3 Do it sneakily. Knowing how to initiate sex with your significant other can sometimes mean getting a little sneaky. Oftentimes, this type of initiation comes after they basically said no to your previous advances.

Pretend that you’ve given up and then be sneaky about it. Give them a little massage and slowly work your hands down while kissing their neck. The trick here is to just be very slow and subtle about it. Turn them on without being obvious about the fact that you want sex. [Read: Subtle conversation starters to get you both really horny]

#4 Put on something sexy. We all know just how much visual stimulation can get someone worked up. So go out and get something you know your significant other will love.

It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. Something simple that you know they’ll appreciate can be enough to initiate sex without you even saying a word. [Read: How to look sexy without even trying]

#5 Make them a nice dinner and turn up the romance. Sometimes you have to make a spectacle out of initiating sex. Turn on your romantic side and make them a really nice dinner.

Pull out all the stops and cook them up something delicious. If you really want to increase your odds of getting laid, feed them aphrodisiacs. [Read: Aphrodisiacs that’ll spice up the night in a sexy way]

#6 Go for the classic compliment. Complimenting your partner will always go over well with them. They’ll always love hearing how great they look and how smart they are. It’s something that can’t go bad.

This is also a great way to turn them on. Knowing how to initiate sex is made a lot easier if you know what compliments they like hearing most. If it’s about their job, tell them how much you love how hard they work.

#7 Use your hands in all the right places. Your hands can do wonders when it comes to turning on your lover. I’m not just talking about grabbing their genitals, either. If you know how to move them in a way that turns them on, use them.

Give them a back massage with just the right amount of pressure. Scratch their back, run your hand through their hair, and even trace their lips with your fingers. All of these soft, slow touches can get your significant other turned on. [Read: How to give a sensual massage and work your magic hands]

#8 Talk about how much they’re turning you on. It will turn on your partner to know that you’re already hot for them. Hearing how horny you are for them without them even touching you can turn them on. They’ll be aroused that you are. So speak up and tell them when you feel that way.

#9 Hop in the shower with them. This is another great way to initiate sex while being sneaky. You can just hop in the shower and pretend that you’re actually there to clean yourself off.

But then you can take the soap and help them wash up. Rubbing your hands along their naked body will really get their mind moving in a sexual direction. Who knows, maybe they’ll even start it. [Read: 9 wild ways to have amazing sex in the shower]

#10 Send a naughty sext from the bedroom. This is not only a light-hearted way to initiate sex, it’s also very straightforward and fun. Send a sexy picture from the bedroom. You can just take a fully naked picture of you on the bed with a short message like, “I’m waiting for you.”

This will jog their interest right away and that door will be opening in no time. Just make sure to do this during a time you know they’re not super busy around the house. [Read: 20 sexy text messages that’ll lead to naughty conversations]

#11 Ladies, straddle him. If your man is distracted and you’re looking for a way to turn him on right away, just straddle him. This move – as long as it’s not during something they’re watching on TV – will get them thinking sexually right away.

With your body pressed up against him in all the right places, he won’t be able to help himself. It works even better if you start kissing him along his neck while straddling him.

#12 Get to work on their sensitive zones. Everybody has those few spots that really get them going. You definitely know your partner’s by now. If you want to have sex with them, then start kissing those areas. They’ll be turned on in no time.

[Read: Sexual arousal – 15 incredibly arousing ways to get and stay horny]

Learning how to initiate sex can be a process if you’re only used to asking for it. If you do it the right way, it can really make your sex life a lot better. Follow these tips and go get it!

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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