If there’s one thing that can ruin a great time in the bedroom, it’s foreplay that is either nonexistent or BAD. Here’s how to foreplay the right way.
Let’s be honest here, most guys could skip foreplay and report having just as much of a pleasurable sexual experience than if they had a half hour of it before actually getting to intercourse. Women on the other hand practically NEED it in order to have a good, satisfying time. Read on for all you need to know on how to foreplay.
Why is foreplay so important?
For men, it’s a much less significant part of ensuring you get off during sex than it is for women. Foreplay is the part of sex that happens before the main event. It puts women in the mood, gets all those important juices flowing, and the key to making sure she orgasms.
Without foreplay, well, it’s like eating a hot dog in a bun without any condiments. It’s somewhat enjoyable, but would be a hundred times better all lubed up with delicious greatness.
Foreplay isn’t all about the physical stuff, either
While many people think foreplay has to do with being physical with your partner, it’s just as much about playing up the mood emotionally, too. Especially for the women. While men tend to associate sex with physical touch, women associate it with touch AND feelings.
How to foreplay the right way
Believe it or not, there is an actual wrong way to go about foreplay. Some people just get it all wrong when it comes to getting their partner going. There are many ways you could be doing something wrong, but instead of trying to figure out what that is, we’re going to tell you how to do it right. [Read: 10 foreplay moves every guy needs to do for their ladies]
Now, foreplay techniques change depending on who you’re with and what they like. So trying a combination of these is really your best bet. If you want to have the best sex of your life, you’ll need to know how to foreplay, and lucky for you, we have all the best tips.
#1 Start slow and build up. While diving right in may be a man’s preference, a woman is more of a distance runner than a sprinter. Meaning you have to take things slow and steady in order to build up into something great.
#2 Stimulate ALL their senses. Touch isn’t the only sense that we have, right? So why do people only assume that just touching gets things to where they need to be? You have to stimulate ALL of a person’s senses in order to put their nerves on edge.
Light some delicious smelling candles, turn the lights down low, and put on some slow and sensual music. Then, focus on making them feel good by touch.
#3 Use more than just your hands on their body and your mouth on their mouth. Who says that you have to restrict your lip usage to only her upper body? Move your hands and lips to different parts of her body; her feet, her inner thighs, her lower back, the back of her neck.
These are all really sensitive areas that respond differently when you touch them, either with your lips or hands. Don’t be timid with your kisses, licks, and nibbles either.
#4 Build the anticipation even before you’re with them. Who says foreplay has to be in person only? You can easily start foreplay early in the day when the two of you are at work. Simply send a naughty text their way.
By doing this, you’re getting them thinking about sex way before you even touch them. Just imagine how turned on they’ll be if they’ve been thinking about getting naked with you all day long! [Read: 30 hot sexting to start a naughty texting marathon]
#5 Use your voice. Women respond to a man’s voice like you wouldn’t believe. Get your voice low, right next to her ear, and whisper something sexy and erotic to get her imagination spinning.
Better yet, use your voice to ask her what she wants from you in a husky tone. Doing so not only makes her feel your hot breath tickle the inside of her ear, but she’ll just tell you what she wants. It’s a win, win!
#6 Don’t forget about her nipples. A women’s nipples are just as much a part of turning her on as any other part of her body—more so, even. Some women are more sensitive than others, sure. But overall, we LOVE when you give the nips some attention. Even just some light pinching and sucking is enough to get us going. [Read: 8 types of nipples – You definitely haven’t seen them all]
#7 Or her clit. Now, what is it with you guys that don’t think the clit is very important? Clearly, it’s because you don’t know the majority of women ONLY orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Play with it! Rub it, flick it, lick it, suck it, just do whatever you can to stimulate it.
#8 Or other ultra-sensitive spots. Like I mentioned before, there are a ton of other sensitive spots on a person’s body that they feel sexual pleasure from. The neck, collarbone, ears, inner thighs, and even some people’s feet.
#9 Pull their hair—gently. The funny thing about causing someone a small amount of pain when they’re sexually stimulated is that it actually increases their pleasure drastically. When someone feels pain, their body releases feel-good hormones that—when your body is already flooded with those—only make the pain feel that much better.
Just make sure you’re not actually hurting them and that they enjoy that type of foreplay. Some people might find it a little too much for their taste.
#10 Oral is always a good option. Oral sex is the BIGGEST turn on—other than intercourse, and even then sometimes more—for both men and women. Oral just pleases a person in ways they can’t do with their hands. So get down to business!
#11 Tease off and on. Increasing someone’s anticipation and playing tug of war with their pleasure is a great technique for foreplay. By giving them what they want and then drawing back, you increase their desire for it. So be a HUGE tease during foreplay. [Read: How to amp up the pleasure – 11 things that make you horny]
#12 Pay attention to her body language and adjust accordingly. Body language gives away pretty much everything you need to know about whether or not someone is enjoying what you’re doing. If they’re being loud, arching their back, and breathing heavily, you’re moving in the right direction. [Read: 15 ways to tongue kiss and arouse your date in seconds]
#13 When she says, “don’t stop,” then DON’T STOP. This seems to be more of something men do than women. They stop doing something right when we tell them to keep going. We say this because usually we’re close to having an orgasm and need you to keep doing EXACTLY what you were doing.
So when a woman tells you not to stop, for heaven’s sake, DON’T STOP.
Foreplay seems to be the not-so-secret ingredient for making sure your sex life is the best it could possibly be. Take this advice and follow each of these tips in order to have successful foreplay that leads to mind-blowing sex.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...