How to Have Safe Sex in Every Single Way It Is Possible To
From high school onward, you’ve heard of safe sex and how important it is. What does it mean? We’re looking at 10 avenues of how to have safe sex.
Sex can be a tricky beast. While the act itself can send shivers through your entire body with a mind-blowing orgasm… it can also riddle you with disease, sickness, and crippling emotional confusion. We kid, we kid! Well, we sort of kid…
Who needs safe sex?
Learning how to have safe sex is applicable to more than just high school students. The fact is, even if you’re using a form of birth control and are getting tested regularly for STDs and sexual health, you may be at risk! In fact, even those who aren’t sexually active with a partner may still need to practice safe sex in order to protect themselves.
How to have safe sex
So, how can you stand on guard against the dangers of scandalous sexy-time and get back to orgasmic bliss? We’re looking at 10 ways to have safe sex in pretty much every way possible! [Read: Losing your virginity and having sex for the first time]
#1 Know exactly what you’re getting into. Want to know how to have safe sex? Well, whether you’re having sex for the first time, or you’re just getting down to business with a new partner, it’s important to know exactly what you’re getting into. For example, is he willing to wear a condom? Is she on the pill? Are you on the same page about what would happen if a pregnancy occurs? Does he/she have a history of STDs? What about HPV?
There are many risks associated with all of these factors. For example, HPV is incredibly common; however, several strands of HPV can turn into cervical, anal, vulva, or penile cancer, and may even prevent a woman from being able to have children later in life. However, women under a certain age can actually get a shot to help protect against this strain of HPV.
Always know what you’re getting into, and know your options whenever you are in a sexual relationship. [Check out: Don’t let your partner’s sexual history drive a wedge between you]
#2 Going on birth control. Birth control is a woman’s badge of honor these days. After all, what’s sexier than an independent woman who knows how to take care of herself, and her body? There are about a gazillion types of birth control on the market. These may include:
a. Birth Control Pill
d. Birth Control Patch
h. Female Condoms
These merely scratch the surface of options available to women to be protected. Whatever option you choose, get informed! For example, going on “the pill” means you need to orally ingest birth control EVERY DAY at the SAME TIME. Can you handle that?
Many younger girls *or hey, just those of us who aren’t great at the whole… responsibility thing* have trouble remembering to take the pill on time. Fiddling around with the pill can result in pregnancy and wonky periods, so it’s best not to mess around.
What’s more, injecting a daily dose of hormones into your body has a laundry list of potential side effects. So get informed.
PS: Most female birth control options do not protect females from STDs, so girl, you best be using those condom’s right alongside your preferred birth control! [Try: 10 birth control options and what they can do for you]
#3 Always, always, always use a condom. One fantastic way to be safe in the sack is to use a condom. If you want to be assured of no STDs or pregnancy post-orgasm, wear a condom*! Yes, even if the girl is already on the birth control pill. Since we’ve all seen the awkward “condom on banana” demonstration, we’ll save you the explanation of how to put it on, but we should point out a couple of things to keep in mind about wearing a condom.
a. If you’ve never worn one, try slipping on one during masturbation to get a better idea of how sex will feel with a condom on. The difference in sensation might be a bit distracting, otherwise.
b. Be sure to leave enough room at the end of the condom/tip of the penis for the sperm to pool into.
c. Be careful when pulling out during intercourse, post-orgasm. Wrap your fingers around the base of the condom to ensure it slides out of her easily and doesn’t bunch up and spill sperm everywhere inside her!
d. Look for the expiration date! That’s right: on the box/package of every condom is an expiration date. These aren’t there for show. They mean business!
e. Condoms that are exposed to direct sunlight will wear down and may break, so be sure to store them in a cool, dry area. Might we recommend the nightstand?
*Alright, so condoms aren’t the be-all, end-all of sexual safety. Why? According to a 2011 study, 2 out of 100 women will become pregnant, even with proper use of a condom. All the more reason to double up and use a condom while you’re on the pill! [Check out: Why men hate using condoms… and why you need them!]
#4 Is oral sex safe? While you may not be able to get pregnant from having oral sex, you can still get a nasty STI. To put it simply, there are 3 ways you can ensure you are having safe oral sex.
a. Both partners get tested at a sexual health center/planned parenthood. In most places, these tests are free. Refrain from having sex until you know your partner’s results, as well as your own.
b. Wear a condom. They make flavored condoms for a reason, you know! Yeah, it’s gross, and it doesn’t feel as good, but wearing a condom during oral really isn’t that bad once you get used to it. Plus, easy clean up!
c. Use a dental dam. A dental dam is basically a film *think saran wrap* that goes over the vagina during oral sex. This method of protective oral sex allows you to feel the magic of his tongue and the heat of his breath all while keeping both of you blissfully protected. [Try: 8 tips and tricks to give her oral sex like a pro]
#5 Naked grinding and precum. Think you’re safe from the pregnancy bug just because you’ve done some naked grinding without penetration? Sorry to say, but sperm cells are resilient little suckers. While the likelihood of you getting pregnant from the “pulling out” method, or during naked grinding is slim, that isn’t to say it doesn’t happen.
If your man came anywhere on or near your vagina, even without penetration, they may still find a way to put a bun in your oven. [Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to orgasms]
#6 Is anal sex safe? There are many health concerns when it comes to having anal sex, including tears, infections resulting in HIV, cancer, hemorrhoids, the feces factor, and all that bacteria. Still want to have a go at it? Well, we’re going to tell you some simple ways to ensure you’re having safer bum sex.
a. Wear a condom. Not only does it make for easy *and less disgusting* cleanup, it also protects both the penis and the anus from bacterial infections.
b. Be gentle and use copious amounts of lube. One of the dangers with anal sex is that the skin inside the anus is incredibly thin. Any tears in the skin can result in awful infections that you’ll likely want to avoid. Want to know how to have safe anal sex? Use a lot of lubrication *whatever you’re thinking, times it by 10, and then you’ll have the right amount!* and go slow. Be gentle until your partner tells you to amp up your rhythm. [Try: Risks and dangers of anal sex – What to watch out for]
c. Foreplay is your friend. Make sure your partner is very, very turned on. Life isn’t a porno, and the bum doesn’t just open up to the size of a cola can like magic. Engaging in plenty of foreplay is a great way to get your partner excited and more likely to accept you into their… erm… rump.
#7 Keep your sex toys clean. Part of how to have safe sex is learning how to be safe even when you’re going solo! We said earlier that you can still find yourself in a bit of safe sex trouble, even if you’re not sexually active with a partner. So where does the danger come from? Your toy box, of course.
If you’re keeping Mr. Rabbit handy in the nightstand, or you have a Flesh-Light for when you’re in between ladies, then you’ll want to make sure you’re keeping them clean! Use proper cleaners, based on the material of your sex toy, and always wash/clean them after each use. Failure to do so can result in some nasty bacterial infections that you definitely don’t want. [Check out: The vajankle and other downright creepy sex toys]
Sex in public, guarding your heart, and more…
Think we’ve covered it all? Hardly. Sometimes, there are avenues of sex that are hard to categorize, so we’re wrapping it up by giving you 3 more miscellaneous tips on how to have safe sex.
#8 Emotionally. Carrie Bradshaw once asked if you can ever have safe sex as long as you were inviting someone into your bed. We doubt that Ms. Bradshaw was painting a picture of an STD-riddled hobo on the block, but rather… what are the emotional ramifications that happen when you get in between the sheets with someone?
One way to have safe sex is to make sure that both parties are willing participants. If you’re having a one night stand, make sure it’s consensual. What’s more, if you are FWB, set the ground rules so you know where to draw the line. A final note? Don’t have sex that makes you feel emotionally uncomfortable! This could include:
b. Sex with an ex
c. A threesome/orgy
d. Outrageous sex toys
e. Anal sex
f. Sex that uses derogatory dirty talk
g. Sex where you aren’t able to be face-to-face with your partner
Basically, if there is any form of sex that is going to be a trigger for an emotional breakdown or make you uncomfortable—don’t do it! Sex should be fun, not a cringe-worthy experience you’re dying to forget. [Read: How to have a no-strings-attached relationship]
#9 Locational. Partners can definitely have some wild kinks when it comes to getting busy, and having sex in public is one of them! What is it called when a person likes to have sex in public? Exhibitionism! This can refer to someone exposing themselves in a public place, or getting dirty with a partner out in the open. It’s important to be safe with your sexual locales, so if a public show isn’t your style of sexual play, pass on your partner and call a cab, instead!
#10 How to have safe sex with a safe word. BDSM has made its way far into mainstream sex lives, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon. Because of this, there’s all the more reason to create a “safe word” with your partner. This word *such as “banana” or “muffins”* is a word you can use to call a halt to all sexual play during roleplay, or any form of BDSM. We find the less sexy the word, the better! Having this word assures both of you that you can back out and get back to reality any time you start to feel uncomfortable.
[Understand how to have safe sex? Next, read: Why is sex important in a relationship?]
Learning how to have safe sex means more than just strapping on a condom and going to town. Let these 10 avenues be a lesson to you to practice safe and satisfying sex with your partner in every way.