People who’ve never experienced an orgasm are obviously curious about them. But you might not know how to describe an orgasm accurately. Here’s how.
Orgasms are probably the more difficult thing to explain. You can tell a person how to have one and what happens when it’s achieved, but you may not know how to describe an orgasm and what it really feels like.
And that’s because it’s such a euphoric, unique feeling that it’s nearly impossible to describe. Orgasms affect your entire body. It’s not easy to explain everything that happens during one to someone who has never had that feeling before.
Not everyone has orgasms during sex
There are plenty of people – women specifically – who go through life and never have an orgasm. Even though they’ve had plenty of sex, their bodies just don’t want to cooperate and give them that blissful feeling.
A lot can be responsible for people being unable to orgasm. Medication could be the cause, but so could a lack of experience, never masturbating, having a blocked and stressed mindset, or even just not communicating with the person they’re sleeping with. Regardless, it’s really difficult for someone who’s never had an orgasm to understand just what it feels like. [Read: 12 hidden reasons you aren’t having orgasms during sex]
How to describe an orgasm to someone who’s never had one
If you’ve been talking to someone unfortunate enough to have never had one, you’ll want some tips on how to describe it. This is how to describe an orgasm so you can help those who don’t realize what they’re missing.
#1 Focus on the outside physical sensations. Obviously, there’s a lot going on inside your body but there’s also stuff going on outside too. Make sure to talk about the pressure of the sensation – particularly for women.
#2 Explain how it builds. An orgasm doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere. In order to know how to describe an orgasm well, you’ll want to explain the way it builds; how each motion of pleasure only adds to the previous.
If the other person has had sex, then they already understand this unless it’s just been awful sex. If not, then this might be foreign to them. The orgasm is a release of the build-up of pressure. Don’t forget to describe those details.
#3 Talk about the internal feelings. Orgasms aren’t just physical. There’s actually a chemical release of serotonin and oxytocin in your brain that gives you a sense of euphoria. Obviously, you don’t notice THAT happening, but there is a whole-body sensation that occurs.
Discuss how your body feels on the inside. You can even mention the wave that feels like it washes through you. It’s not just a physical release, but also an emotional one, too. Describe this the best you can. [Read: What does sex feel like for a woman?]
#4 Don’t forget how long it lasts. For those who haven’t had an orgasm, they might not even know how long it would last. Make sure to point out that it’s not some blissful feeling that carries on for multiple minutes.
It definitely lasts longer for women, but it’s still not the longest lasting thing ever. The sex can last for hours, sure, but an orgasm will only be about 30 seconds to a minute.
#5 Distinguish the different types. There are multiple types of orgasms. You may not have even felt all of them yourself. There’s the g-spot orgasms, clitoral, a-spot, a cervical orgasm, and for men, the prostate orgasm.
Make sure to talk about the different types you’ve felt. A clitoral orgasm feels much different than a g-spot orgasm. Mention the difference and give them details to help them understand. [Read: How to have a crying orgasm that’s true pleasure]
#6 Explain how it feels afterward. Orgasms don’t just affect you in the moment. They can have lingering effects long after. Usually, it’s just a simple feeling of relaxation and sometimes your brain can go a little fuzzy shortly after.
In general, the time after orgasm can leave your body very sensitive and raw, but also very relaxed and in a state of peace. This isn’t necessarily a direct part of an orgasm but someone who’s never had one still wouldn’t know what this feels like.
How to have an earth shattering orgasm
Now that you know how to describe an orgasm, let’s focus on what can get you to have one that feels better than anything. This is how you can have an incredible orgasm and some tips you can give those who’ve never had one.
#1 Relax your entire body. Your body needs to be relaxed for an orgasm to happen. There can’t really be any tension lingering. Tension in the body from stress and outside influences isn’t the same as tension from having sex.
Have a little massage and make sure your body is at ease before having sex. Usually, sex will reduce some of this in general, but if you don’t get your body relaxed, an orgasm isn’t likely to happen. [Read: How to relax your mind during sex]
#2 Reduce the stress of your mind. Just like with your body, if your mind isn’t cleared and in a relaxed state, an orgasm just won’t happen. What many people fail to realize is that an orgasm is just as much a mental experience as it is a physical one.
You have to have a calm mind. If you’re so worried about getting groceries or the chores you have to do around the house later, the orgasm just won’t come. And therefore, neither will you.
#3 Communicate what you need. Make sure to openly talk about what you need in bed. Your partner is there to help you get off, just as you are for them. That means you need to tell them when you need it harder and faster or softer. Discuss what it takes you get you there and then work together to make it happen. [Read: 10 ways to handle sexual frustration with your partner]
#4 Masturbate for practice. You won’t really know what you like unless you figure it out on your own. Without the nervousness of having a partner, you can actually experiment and figure out what feels best for you. Just spend some time getting to know your own body and it’ll make things easier when you have sex next time.
#5 Try edging. Edging is a super interesting technique that can help women have more explosive orgasms. Basically, the idea is to get as close as you can to climax, and then stop stimulation.
#6 Remember what got you there the last time. Focus on what’s working when it’s actually working. Sometimes you can get swept away in the bliss and completely forget what it is that makes you come. Try to remember what those things are so you can repeat them the next time.