When it comes to getting your way in the bedroom, sometimes you have to be commanding. Here’s how to be dominant in bed and get your way.
Not everyone is meant to be a dominant person in the bedroom. However, sometimes that’s the only way to get the job done. It can also be a great way to spice up your love life and add that extra something it’s been missing. But learning how to be dominant in bed might not come easily to you.
There are a few different levels of dominance you can act out in the bedroom, so you first have to decide which is best for. You can go all-out and step into a dom-sub relationship or you can take it easy by quietly telling your partner just what you want. Your job is to first see which your partner is open to before commanding them.
Why learning how to be dominant in the bedroom can help your sex life
There are far too many people who are quiet or actually shy in the bedroom. They don’t tell their partner what they want or what feels great to them and they suffer significantly. They don’t get off nearly as often and truthfully, that can be frustrating.
That’s how learning how to be dominant in the bedroom can actually help your sex life. We all know how difficult it can be to open up and talk to someone, so by taking on this dominant persona, you can do it much easier. By commanding your partner to do something specific, they’ll not only learn what you like, but you’ll get exactly what you want. [Read: 17 pleasurable ways to make love with real passion]
How to be dominant in the bedroom and get the pleasure you deserve
Being dominant in bed isn’t something many people are naturally inclined to be. That’s why you may have to learn the ropes. If you want to learn how to be dominant in bed so you can start getting the pleasure you really want, here’s how to do it.
Things to keep in mind beforehand
#1 Discuss it with your partner, first. The thing about learning how to be dominant in bed is that you’re probably not already. Meaning your partner could be in for a huge shock when you decide to get demanding. For that reason, you should probably discuss it a little first.
#2 Start slowly and work your way up. Don’t just walk in the bedroom cracking whips right off the bat. Take your time and begin with something a little more subtle. Moving your partner’s hands to where you want them and whispering sexily in their ear is a great place to start.
#3 Only do what you’re comfortable with. Don’t start throwing out phrases that you looked up on the internet. That’s just not the way to be dominant in bed. Only go as far as you’re comfortable with. If you really feel awkward while commanding your significant other, it’ll be obvious and much less effective.
Turn it up and learn how to be dominant in bed
#1 Learn what you like, first. You can’t really tell your partner to do something if you’re not sure how it feels, can you? My advice would be to get busy with yourself and find out what feels best. Then you can direct your significant other in bed much more accurately. [Read: 15 powerful benefits of masturbation]
#2 Have confidence. If you really want to know how to be dominant in bed, you have to increase your level of confidence. You need to be certain about what you say. Otherwise, it can come across as awkward and won’t have the desired effect. AKA, you won’t feel the pleasure you want.
#3 Start in the foreplay. The best way to show your dominance is from the start of your sexcapades. Get bossy right away during foreplay. Make sure your partner knows what you want right off the bat and you’ll feel that pleasure intensify as you get more involved. This also sets the tone for the rest of your bang session. [Read: The best sex of your life starts with foreplay]
#4 If you’re too shy to talk, guide them with your hands. Don’t worry about being shy. If you’re not comfortable with being verbally demanding just yet, then get physically demanding. Take your significant other’s hands and guide them where you want them. You can still be demanding in the bedroom even if you’re silent.
#5 Start by being verbal about what feels good. Another way to ease into your demands is to start out by telling them when you like something.
Make sure they know they’re doing the right thing when they are. Something as simple as, “that feels good, keep going,” is more than enough to get them in the right direction while still being dominant. [Read: 30 lustful things to say in the bedroom]
#6 Whisper in their ear what you want. Get close to their ears and sexily whisper what you want from them. You can use this in combination with telling them what feels good. Lean in close and whisper something like, “I love it when you touch me there. Do it again,” is dominant, yet subtle.
#7 Start commanding them. If all of that’s going well for you, then start demanding what you want. Tell them what to do and be assertive. Don’t take no for an answer and make sure they know you won’t. This type of dominance can be a lot if you’re not used to it. So ease into it and make sure they’re happy with what you’re doing too. [Read: How to dominate in the bedroom like a true pro]
#8 Gauge how they’re taking it. It’s important to remember that your partner may not be very good with dominance. They could take it as a negative about their ability to please you. So gauge how they’re feeling when you start and work up from there.
#9 Get comfortable with your dominance. I understand that it can be a little odd commanding your partner to do something, but you have to get used to it.
#10 Let them know when they’re doing the right thing. Some people can be a little too demanding in the bedroom and that can be discouraging to their partner. Just because you’re bossing your partner around doesn’t mean you can’t be encouraging at the same time. So let them know if they’re doing exactly what you want so they can get that boost of confidence.