From time to time, your sex drive can dwindle and become nearly nonexistent. If that’s you, then you need these ways how to increase sex drive.
Struggling with how to increase sex drive can be frustrating. Everyone faces libido issues at some point, falling into a slump where getting in the mood seems impossible. This can lead to relationship problems and even psychological stress.
When there’s a sex rut, both partners may become irritable over trivial matters due to sexual dissatisfaction. This situation can also stir insecurities in the partner not experiencing the libido dip, as they might blame themselves for their partner’s lack of desire. [Read: 28 thirsty signs you’re sexually frustrated, horny, and need sex ASAP]
Sex Drive Slump
So, gone are the days when you felt ready to jump into the sheets at a moment’s notice—now, it might seem like your sex drive has taken a backseat.
It’s perfectly normal for people to experience fluctuations in their libido at some point in their lives. You might be wondering when this dip is just a temporary phase and when it might be something to be concerned about. [Read: I need sex! Signs your high libido has become sexual addiction]
As we navigate through this topic, we’ll explore what might cause these changes and offer tips on how to increase sex drive, so you can feel more like your old self again.
Why You Just Aren’t Horny Anymore!
To fully understand how to get your sex drive back into gear, you should first distinguish what’s causing you to not feel like getting busy between the sheets. While everyone is different and might just have a different libido, there are a number of contributing factors.
1. Increased Stress
Stress plays a huge role on a number of different bodily functions and your libido is definitely one of them. Who wants to have sex when they’ve got too much other stuff going on in their heads?
2. The End of the “Honeymoon Phase”
Other couples get into a low-sex rut when that initial phase of excitement and all things new ends, and they are used to and comfortable with each other. [Read: Signs you’re past the honeymoon stage in your romance]
3. Your Crappy Diet
Too much sugar, sodium, and junk food in general can cause major problems when it comes to helping you get it up or get it wet. Anyone who eats an unhealthy diet may struggle with their libido.
4. Low Self-esteem
When you’re not feeling great about how you look, it can really put a damper on your mood for intimacy. This drop in self-confidence might make the idea of being physically vulnerable less appealing, shifting your focus away from enjoying close moments. [Read: High self-esteem: 33 low signs, what hurts self-worth & secrets to pump it]
Plus, if you’re preoccupied with self-criticism, it’s tough to fully engage and enjoy the connection with someone else.
5. New Medications
There are certain medications with the side effect of decreasing your sex drive. If you just started a new medication and are feeling less than excited to hop in the sheets and get it on, it might be to blame for your lack of desire *be sure to talk to your doctor about any concerns and before stopping any medication*.
Signs Your Sex Drive is Decreasing
Before we talk about how to increase your sex drive, let’s look at some telltale signs that it might be on the downswing.
Remember, experiencing these doesn’t automatically mean there’s a huge problem, but being aware is the first step to understanding and improving your situation. And keep in mind, these signs can vary a lot from person to person.
1. Reduced Sexual Thoughts
You know how sometimes you daydream about an upcoming vacation? Well, if you’ve noticed that those random sexy thoughts aren’t popping up as much, it could be a sign your libido is taking a hit.
Our brain is a big player in our sex drive, and when it’s not churning out those spicy thoughts, it can indicate a decrease in sexual interest.
2. Lack of Interest in Sexual Activity
This one’s pretty straightforward. If you’re finding that the idea of getting it on is about as appealing as doing your taxes, it’s a pretty clear signal. It’s like when you lose interest in a hobby you once loved – it can be a jarring change.
3. Difficulty Getting Aroused
If you’re struggling to get into the groove, even when you’re in what used to be a turn-on situation, that’s a red flag. It’s like your body isn’t getting the memo that it’s go-time, which can be both confusing and frustrating.
4. Less Frequent Masturbation
If you notice you’re masturbating less frequently, it might be a sign that your sex drive is taking a dip.
Masturbation is not just a personal pleasure activity but also a key part of sexual wellness, indicating your general libido levels. When there’s a noticeable decrease, it could suggest changes in your desire or even your overall health. [Read: How to masturbate: 30 solo orgasm & female masturbation secrets for girls]
5. Decreased Sensitivity
This one’s a bit tricky but super important. If you’ve noticed that your usual hot spots aren’t as responsive – like your body’s pleasure response got a dimmer switch turned down – it might point to a lower libido.
6. Lack of Anticipation for Sex
Obviously, this one is a major telltale sign. Remember the thrill of anticipating a night filled with passion? If that excitement has fizzled out and the thought of sex no longer gives you that same buzz, it’s a clear indicator that your sex drive may be waning.
This change in anticipation is not just about missing out on excitement; it’s a significant signal from your body and mind that your interest in sexual activities is shifting.
7. Feeling Disconnected During Sex
Are you finding yourself thinking about your grocery list or maybe work backlogs during sex instead of, you know, enjoying the moment?
If you’re physically present but mentally elsewhere, it could definitely be a sign that your libido is trying to tell you something. When sex no longer captures your full attention, it’s worth considering what’s causing this disconnect.
8. Changes in Sexual Confidence
A dip in how confident you feel about your sexual self can be linked to a lower sex drive. It’s not just about body image, but about how you perceive your sexual self and desires. [Read: Steps to get back your body confidence in the bedroom]
9. Physical Changes
Physical changes are not just about how you feel emotionally or mentally; there are also tangible signs that can indicate a decrease in your sex drive. For women, one such sign can be vaginal dryness, while men might experience erectile difficulties.
These symptoms can be both causes and effects of a waning libido, and they deserve close attention. These physical manifestations are your body’s way of signaling that something might be off, whether it’s hormonal imbalances, stress, or other health issues.
10. Emotional Distance from Your Partner
If you’re feeling more like roommates than lovers, this emotional gap can be both a cause and a result of a lower sex drive. It’s like losing a connection that used to spark easily.
Horny Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive and Keep It High
As much as being stuck in a no-sex rut can be horrible, there is some good news. It’s fixable! There are a number of different things you can do that will not only have you wanting to jump your partner whenever you get the chance, but it will keep that feeling in place for a long time. These ways to increase your sex drive can help you avoid being stuck in that low libido phase for good.
1. Determine the Issue
If there’s an actual issue within your relationship causing you to stop wanting to have sex with your partner, you’re going to need to figure out what it is. If they said something or did something that made you feel less than sexy, it can make you avoid sex with them.
2. Solve It!
If there was a relationship problem, try your best to fix it. Talk to your significant other and let them know why you’re just not feeling it anymore. They’ll probably be more than eager to fix it. [Read: Naughty ways to get over a sexual dry spell quickly]
3. Exercise More
Not only does exercising produce endorphins that help in getting you all hot and heavy, it also makes you look good. And when you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you’ll want to show it off and enjoy your body. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]
4. Diet
Along with exercise, poor diet is also a main cause of low libido. Heavy, fatty and low nutrition foods do nothing for your sex drive, and can even have the unwanted effect of reducing it.
On the other hand, a high nutrition diet puts the pep back in your pepper-pot as well as improving general health.
There are even foods that seem to have specific sex drive-boosting properties, known as aphrodisiacs. Many of these have been proved to be nonsense, such as the ancient south-east Asian belief in drinking snake bile. But others seem to have a certain amount of scientific support for their claims, such as chocolate, cinnamon and pumpkin.
Interestingly, cinnamon and fruits of any kind have the added bonus of sweetening a man’s ejaculate, which may well encourage their partner to get a little more… involved.
5. Have More Sex!
Just like you crave the foods you eat the most, having more sex will make you want sex more often. The more you have sex, the more your body will be expecting it and want it. So have sex even if you’re not feeling it, and you’ll start feeling it more and more.
6. Do Some Experimenting
Maybe you’re just bored with the sex you have been having and it’s no longer exciting. Trying new positions is a great way to increase your sex drive. [Read: Best naughty sex ideas to spice up long-term sex]
7. Get the Adrenaline Pumping
Go sky diving, ride a rollercoaster; just do anything that will get your heart racing and your adrenaline going. Your heart rate will rise and you’ll get in the mood fairly quickly. A study found that high adrenaline situations *like crossing a precarious bridge* could increase sexual attraction.
This happens because the physiological arousal *e.g., increased heart rate* caused by adrenaline can be misinterpreted as sexual attraction or intensified emotional excitement
8. Drink Some Red Wine
But not more than two glasses. Red wine is an aphrodisiac and will help you start feeling horny in no time.
9. Get Handsy With Your Partner
Not even in a dirty way, either. Just hold their hand more often or rest your hand on their thigh. The contact releases oxytocin-also known as the “feel good” hormone. [Read: Non-sexual touches that’ll make you feel more loved and horny]
10. Smell Their Sweat!
We know this sounds gross but smelling your partner’s sweat can actually make you hornier. Their pheromones have a way of making you feel all hot and bothered. So hit the gym together!
11. Eat Aphrodisiac Foods
Make a meal full of the following foods: chocolate, figs, bananas, avocados, almonds, oysters, and strawberries. They’re all aphrodisiacs and will get you in the mood.
Here’s an idea: have your lover feed you chocolate-covered strawberries! [Read: Dishes to get your sex drive to skyrocket instantly]
12. Watch Some Porn
For obvious reasons, watching porn will more than likely get you feeling horny and ready to have some much needed sex. The visual stimulation is all you need.
13. Reduce Your Stress
Find ways to reduce stress. Whether it be yoga, exercise, or just reading a book, relaxing is one of the first steps to clearing your mind to make room for sexy thoughts.
14. Talk About Sex Often
Having conversations about doing the dirty during times when you can’t actually have sex will make you think about it a lot more. Those thoughts will definitely be felt below your belt. [Read: Naughty conversation starters to get you both really horny]
15. Get a Bit More Sleep
All too often we can use the excuse that we’re simply “too tired” for sex. So get some more sleep! Sex is a very physical activity and you need energy in order to want to do it. Catching those extra zzz’s is a great way to increase your sex drive and keep it high.
16. Meditation
Meditation, or a meditative activity such as yoga or tai chi, plays a number of functions that help boost libido. Firstly, it is a very healthy and sustainable form of gentle exercise.
Secondly, it reduces those high levels of stress, which are amongst the most serious enemies of sexual energy.
Thirdly, and this depends very much on personal outlook as to whether you believe in such things or not, the tradition behind such activities also claims a certain spiritual element to the benefits acquired.
17. Wear Something Sexy
Even dressing up in something sexy can make you want to have sex more. You know you look really hot underneath all those clothes, and that’s enough to get you ready for a night of indulging in some naked fun!
18. Make Your House Somewhere You’d Want to Have Sex
Leaving your place a mess will not spark any romantic thoughts. You’ll be too worried about needing to clean up and won’t have any room for sexy thoughts. [Read: How to turn your room into a sensual, sex bedroom in no time]
19. Invest in Some New Toys
Just like when you get a new gadget or outfit and you can’t wait to try it out, investing in some new sex toys can really ramp up your excitement for intimate moments.
It’s all about the thrill of exploring something fresh and the fun of incorporating it into your experiences. Plus, experimenting with different toys can spice things up and bring a new level of enjoyment to your sex life.
20. Never Skip Foreplay
A lot of the time, couples *particularly women* aren’t really in the mood until there’s been some foreplay. Foreplay is crucial in getting someone ready to have sex.
Always engaging in foreplay will definitely increase your sex drive. [Read: 9 fun, sexiest foreplay tips you could ever use in bed]
21. Check With a Doctor
When all else fails, make an appointment with your doctor to get to the bottom of why you just don’t feel like having sex. There could be some underlying medical reasons keeping you from wanting to get frisky with your lover. [Read: Naughty sex games for couples to feel really horny again]
Find What Works Best for You
Dealing with a decreasing sex drive can be frustrating and confusing, especially when it feels like an integral part of your identity or relationship is shifting. It’s normal to have mixed feelings about these changes – whether it’s concern, sadness, or even indifference.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that a lowered sex drive isn’t a reflection of your worth or desirability. Our bodies and minds go through countless changes over time, and our libido is part of that dynamic flow.
The good news is that understanding the underlying causes and exploring different ways to increase your sex drive can lead to positive changes. Whether it’s through lifestyle adjustments, communication with your partner, or seeking professional advice, there are various paths you can explore.
[Read: 59 hottest places to have sex that are naughty, risky & adrenaline racing!]
If you struggle to find ways on how to increase sex drive, you’re not alone. You and many others out there can definitely benefit from these ways to increase your sex drive and keep it high.
