There are tons of myths and urban legends surrounding the dreaded first sexual encounter. We’re here to bust those myths and keep you informed!
Having sex for the first time can feel like the scariest and most exciting moment in your life. What makes it stressful is everything leading up to actually having it. Surprisingly enough, there are a ton of ridiculous myths that just might spook you into anxiety, or worse, eternal abstinence.
When you have sex for the first time, it will not be like you see it in the movies. I can promise you that. And if you have watched American Pie too many times to count as your method of taking sex-ed class, you’d be surprised at what the real deal actually has to offer.
Myths about the first time you have sex
There are so many differing opinions out in the universe about having sex, and reasons why you should save yourself for marriage, and whatever else you might have read or heard. But there are also a few myths about having sex for the first time that are universally false, and I’m here to shed light on them for you, so keep reading below to find out.
#1 It will last a long time. If you have ever been told that when you have sex for the first time, you should be prepared for it to last several hours, then you were told wrong. It’s unlikely that you and your partner will last for long because it’s a new experience for both of you, and therefore you haven’t learned how to control yourself, or your partner hasn’t actually ever had an orgasm before, other than in his hands. So know this, when it comes to having sex for the first time, you’ll be lucky if you last longer than five minutes, but it’s highly unlikely. [Read: 10 foolproof sex tips every girl should know!]
#2 You will cry. Sure, crying does take place and can easily happen when you’re having sex for the first time. I mean I get it, I’m a girl, and we are emotional. We can start replaying everything we’ve ever done and start wondering if this guy is “The One” and if we’ll get married because we’re having sex, and whatever else goes on in that head of yours. But I am not talking about the emotional element of crying when it comes to having sex for the first time.
I am referring to the myth that if you have sex for the first time, you will cry because it will hurt so much. This is false. It really just depends on your body, and his member and how the two go together. If you’re completely aroused and the guy you’re with got you all warmed up with his fingers and his mouth, then it will probably not hurt as much. However, if he just shoves it in without getting you worked up first, then yes, it will probably hurt like a b*tch. [Read: Everything you need to know about first time sex]
#3 You will get pregnant no matter what. If every first sexual encounter resulted in a pregnancy, then why aren’t there more teenage moms in the world? I’m not saying there should be more, but the whole point of contraception and safe sex is to prevent getting pregnant from a sexual encounter, whether it’s your first or 100th.
If your partner wears a condom or you’re on the pill or you use any other form of contraception, then the likelihood of getting pregnant is minimized. However, a lack of any form of contraception other than the withdrawal method or sheer, dumb luck might still result in a baby 9 months down the road.
#4 You will have the best orgasm of your life. Just like you were told that having sex for the first time would last a long time, you’ve probably also been told that you will have the most incredible orgasm of your life when you have sex for the first time. Wrong. More than likely you won’t really start enjoying it until you and your partner have practiced pleasuring each other’s bodies.
The trick to great sex after you pop your first-time card is to get in the right rhythm with each other, and learn the ebb and flow of your bodies. Just like you need rhythm to dance and move your body, you also need it when it comes to connecting and having great sex. [Read: The beginner’s guide to tantric sex and mind-blowing orgasms]
#5 You will get an STD. Here’s the thing about STD’s that you may or may not know, and that is you can get them without having sex. I know, shocker! You could get an STD from giving a guy a blowjob or having a guy go down on you, just as easily as you could from having sex.
If you are a first-timer when it comes to sex, please do not believe this ridiculous myth any longer and realize that if you have ever touched his penis to your mouth, or his mouth to your vagina, or whatever else, you were just as exposed to the possibility of STDs as you will be when you two have sex. There are tons of ways you can protect yourself against STDs, but thinking that the way to avoid getting them is to do everything else but have actual sex is not one of them. [Read: Is your boyfriend using the just-the-tip excuse to get you to have sex?]
#6 It will hurt. This one goes along with the crying myth, and not everyone experiences pain when having sex for the first time. When you have sex for the first time, it doesn’t mean it will hurt. It’s just like how some ladies have easy pregnancies and some don’t, or how some people get their teeth pulled out and don’t feel any pain and then others lay on a couch for a week because they are in so much pain. Everyone’s experience is different, but there are methods you can use to avoid the pain.
For one, going slowly and gently might help reduce the pain. Another method is using lubricants to ease the guy’s entrance. Another more common method is using foreplay to make sure both your bodies are ready for the actual act, instead of diving in there head-first *pun intended*. [Read: How to get yourself horny by using your mind]
#7 You’ll bleed everywhere. This is the famous “popping the cherry” that all guys everywhere covet and want to be king of. If you’ve believed the myth that you’ll bleed everywhere if your cherry gets popped, you should stop believing it right now. Yes, some girls tend to bleed when they have sex for the first time, but it doesn’t mean it will happen to you and you’ll end up looking like a scene from Carrie.
The blood comes from the tearing of a hymen, which is a thin connective tissue near the entrance of the vagina. It’s thin, so there aren’t a lot of blood vessels in it. What looks like a boatload of blood might actually just be your natural vaginal lubrication mixed with a bit of blood. But even if this happens, just prepare for the worst and lay a towel down where you’ll be doing it. It’s really not that big of a deal, and if anything, the guy you’re with might just be glad to see proof that he “popped your cherry.”
With all these myths in mind, I can actually remember my first time like it was yesterday, and not because of the guy. I can remember it because sure, there were some tears, and you can fill in the rest. But guess what… I didn’t get pregnant. It didn’t last long. And I didn’t orgasm. [Read: First time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it!]
And as I’m writing this, I’m laughing out loud thinking about just how far I’ve come! These myths about having sex for the first time are just that, myths. It doesn’t matter if you’re saving yourself for marriage or not, having sex for the first time will definitely be an experience, but it won’t read like a bad dream, and you’ll probably end up laughing, and thinking to yourself what all the hype was about.
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