They simply get so used to going through the motions of sex that they lose touch with what made it spicy, sexy and exciting in the first place.
This is why many people tend to feel overwhelmed when they start dating someone new, not because of the emotional freshness that comes with the relationship, but rather the rediscovery of good and exciting sex!
9 signs you’re having bad sex with your partner
No matter how much you love your significant other, you may unfortunately be having unsatisfactory sex with him or her.
If you have been with your partner for far too long, or if you lack the sexual experience that it takes to be able to make various comparisons between lovers, here are the top 9 signs that you are having bad sex.
#1 You think about something else. The first indication that you are having mediocre or downright bad sex is when you catch yourself thinking about something else while getting pleasured.
Random thoughts can range from anything such as making a mental grocery list, analyzing the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or just thinking about the leftover chocolate pudding in the fridge. If you find that your mind often flits to other things while having sex, you are probably not having a very good time.
The same goes to fantasizing about another sexual experience that you had while doing the deed. If you have to dig into the recesses of your mind to dredge up an old memory about a fun sexual escapade that you had in the past, you are definitely not having good sex now. [Read: 9 incredibly hot foreplay tips you can use in bed right now]
#2 You think about someone else. Besides thinking of something else, you are probably having bad sex if you think of someone else while sexing it up with your partner. If you need to fantasize about someone else just to turn yourself on, the sizzle and fizzle have probably long deserted your current relationship and along with them, sexual passion as well.
Whether it is thinking about your favorite rocker or the sexy waiter at TGI Fridays, if you find your thoughts roving to someone else while you are in the midst of sex, you have a problem.
#3 You cannot wait for it to end. Just like watching a bad movie, you are probably having blah sex if you cannot wait for the session to be over. Thoughts like, “I hope he cums soon” and “Oh my god, this is taking forever” are obvious indications that you are not having a great time.
#4 You only like one position. Whether it’s doggy style, reverse cowgirl or anything else that tickles your fancy, if you or your partner get off from only one position, there is a high chance that you are having bad sex. Sex is an act of love and pleasure that is meant to be enjoyed, no matter how you do it.
There is nothing wrong if you tend to gravitate towards your favorite sexual position every time you make love. It is human nature to seek out the most pleasure in everything that we do, and sex is no exception. However if you find that you can only reach orgasm when you are in a specific position, always remember that good sex should let you experiment and get excited in every position or form. If this is not the case, you are probably having bad sex. [Read: 20 hot sex ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed]
#5 You feel more satisfied masturbating. Another red flag that you are not having a good time in bed is that you get more satisfaction out of masturbating. If sex with your partner is any good at all, there is no way that you would choose playing with yourself over doing the deed with a real life warm body.
There is nothing wrong with supplementing your sex life with a little bit of personal satisfaction, but if you find that playing with yourself is far more exciting, you may have a problem.
#6 You prefer quickies. This can be linked to the third point made above. If you prefer quickies as opposed to an entire night of passion in the sack, you are probably feeling this way because you are not entirely enjoying yourself. Don’t get us wrong. We love quickies just as much as the next person. But the thing is, if all you want is quickies, there is a probability that you just want to get the deed done and out of the way because you do not want to waste your time on something that gives you little to no pleasure. [Read: 10 naughty sex games for couples to feel horny again!]
#7 You do not communicate. This directly links to talking dirty. If you are shy or afraid to talk dirty and tell your partner exactly what turns you on, you are probably not getting the best out of sex.
Making love should mean that both your needs and wants be fully met. If you do not speak up during sex to let your partner know what pleasures you, then what is the point of even having sex in the first place if you are not going to have a stellar time? [Read: 14 tips to get your partner to open up and communicate about sex]
#8 You leave right after. If you or your partner immediately cover up, get dressed, or move away from each other in a bid to stop exposing your nakedness, please note that this is a red flag. Sex is an intimate and private affair and if you are not comfortable and confident enough to expose yourself after doing the deed, you are probably not having the mind-blowing sex you think you are.
Sex undoubtedly gets elevated to a whole new level if you are totally comfortable around the other person. Whether it is with your long-term partner, sex buddy or one night stand, you can more or less gauge whether it is great sex on what happens right after. [Read: 14 tips to feel sexy and desirable all the time]
#9 You seek pleasure from other outlets
There is nothing wrong with indulging in a steamy novel every so often, or sneaking a peek at a porn video or two. However if you are gaining a bulk of your sexual release from these outlets and not from actual sex with your partner, then you have a problem. Naughty books and kinky videos are meant the serve as an add on to your existing sexual relationship, not as your main go-to outlets.
If you’re experiencing any of these 9 signs you’re having bad sex in your own relationship, don’t fret. It’s not all over. Acknowledge it, and try to make amends. After all, sex can only be as awesome as the both of you want it to be!
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Born in Singapore and raised in Malaysia to multi-racial parents, Lianne is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the wor...