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Why Men Watch Porn Instead of Their Woman in Bed

why men watch porn

What’s with men and their porn addiction? Ever wondered why men watch porn the way they do? Well, here’s an explanation that’ll put your mind at ease. By the Super Fella

Most women have always had a problem with men and their interest in porn.

Somehow, realizing that their man ogles at other women in the nude seems to piss them off.

Well, if I were a woman, I’d be pretty pissed off too.

But just like all other guys, if I ever caught my girlfriend sneakily watching porn after dark, I’d be instantly excited instead of feeling two-timed and violated.

So why the big confusion over porn?

Well, it all comes down to the way men and women think.

Men think porn is sexy. Women think it’s gross.

Men think porn is a way to see many more naked women without really cheating. Women think watching porn is cheating!

Now not all men and all women feel this way. But certainly, most of them do.

Why can’t a man just watch his woman in bed?

A man could sit up in bed and stare at the beautiful woman sleeping in bed with him, and he may do that too. But he could do that anytime he wants, so really, where’s the novelty in that?

Women should know that most men don’t watch porn every single night. They do it now and then, most often when they’re feeling bored. And even when they watch naked women online, they don’t always see the same girls again and again.

Women should feel mighty pleased to know this, men only care about porn when they’ve got absolutely nothing important to do. It’s true, because most men will forget all about porn if you keep him busy.

Men don’t set an alarm and wake up in the middle of the night just to play pocket pool while watching a perky girl moaning on their laptop. Men usually end up watching porn if they’ve been busy working on their computer all night. And after having finished all their work, they have nothing better to do than watch easily accessible naked women staring back at them while doing naughty things to themselves, other women or other horse-like men.

While all men enjoy a good round of foreplay and sex, it’s just not the same as throttling the little man while watching a few porn stars. The satisfaction that men feel in these two scenarios is completely different. And one scenario doesn’t affect his interest or performance in the other.

Why men like porn

Men like porn for a lot of reasons. Here are a few that could help you understand his interest in all things naked on his computer screen.

# A man gets to see more boobies

A man can never see enough of them. All breasts may seem like the same for women, but those subtle dissimilarities between one pair and another make the men want to see all of them. [Read: Why men likes breasts]

# Men get to learn new things in bed

Most of the time, men watch porn only to satisfy themselves, but every now and then, men watch porn because it’s funny or completely unique. It’s a fun pastime that men enjoy.

# Masturbation is fun

Almost all men have spent a big part of their single life with the little boy in their pants. And every now and then, he misses the times he’s spent with the little guy. Hanging out with his hands in his shorts can at times, even feel a lot better than sex. There’s no stress, and the fun time can stretch on for hours. And the best part, he gets to see so many naked women while having fun at the same time.

#Men are curious

Every time a man sees an attractive and desirable woman, one of the first things he does is wonder how she looks beneath her clothes. With so much curiosity, it’s easy to imagine why men can’t wait to see and learn about different women’s body parts. And another thing that most men do, each time they see a sexy celebrity on the telly, all they want to do is go online and look for a few nude movie clips of that girl to see how she looks naked. [Read: What goes on in a man’s mind when he stares at women?]

Will your guy watching porn affect your relationship?

Nope, his interest in watching porn has nothing to do with the relationship status. He used to watch it when he was single, and now he watches it when you’re sleeping. To a man, porn isn’t his way of cheating on you or fantasizing about other women. It’s just one of his favorite pastimes when he’s feeling restless or bored.

[Read: How to fantasize about someone else with your mate]

But will he ever compare you to a porn star he likes? It’s obvious he will. Has he ever asked you to try something new or kinky in bed all of a sudden? It’s probably an inspiration from his computer. But whether he compares you or not, a man’s mind is developed enough to realize that what he sees on his computer isn’t real, at least to him. It’s just a fantasy girl stripping herself off and moaning at everything she sees. And men like it!

Will he love you less because he sees other naked women?

No, somehow watching porn doesn’t seem to affect most men, unless they’re addicted to it and can’t live with it. No research or scientist has been able to conclusively prove the real reason behind why men like porn just yet. Perhaps, it’s just his desire to see more naked women and feel good about it. After all, no man is ever satisfied with the number of naked women he sees in his lifetime.

But if you look at it from an evolutionary perspective, primitive men just had to have sex with any primitive woman that moves in the old days. He couldn’t waste time on getting an erection or building up the foreplay if he has to have sex with a woman he bumps into, especially if he had to finish the deed before her real mate sees him. Perhaps, this has lead to a man’s wandering eye and his interest in constantly seeing new naked “mating potentials”.

Should a woman be bothered by his curiosity?

Don’t be. Men hardly ever think their interest in porn qualifies as cheating. Instead, cuddle up with him and watch a few movies yourself. [Read: How porn can save a relationship]

Think of it this way.

A woman watches romantic movies all the time. And she would definitely be able to relate to the feelings of love and affection the actors share on screen. A woman may enjoy the movie, but does that mean she’s falling for the actor in the movie because she felt all those emotions?

Heck, she may even wish her man was more like the romantic actor in the movie. But does that really change anything in real life? No!

And that’s the same thing with men and porn. They may watch women flaunting their assets on their computer, but once their date with their little friend is over, they forget all about it. Even if they do wish their women were more like those porn stars!

[Read: How to think like a man and impress your guy]

Now that you know why men watch porn, relax and stop worrying about it. It’s just a movie and that pair is just another one in several breasts that he’ll admire in his lifetime. At the end of the day, you’re the beautiful woman he sleeps with and he likes his life just the way it is!

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DISCUSSION

278 thoughts on “Why Men Watch Porn Instead of Their Woman in Bed”

  1. win says:

    it depends on ur marriage and how miture the guy is…many many men cant wait till their wives leave to open porn and masturbate and have less sex.. if he has sex often and u feellovedand he watches together thanmight be just for curiosity and from being bored .. buuuut u with be much hotter for ur wife if u never see any other naked woman and sex will be with heat garanteed!!!! and she will feel special

  2. Sarah g says:

    Is this supposed to make women feel better about men and their porn habits! You confirmed all my worst fears…..that men do compare us, and often enjoy it better than having sex with us….great…thanks….enough to turn me off sex for good! Where was the good news in there?

  3. Kelley says:

    Ok I’m a very sexual woman I never say no and will try anything.. My husband is a major porn man… I was told that porn and him playing with himself was more important then the real thing so please tell me the article you wrote states woman should not worry and it mean no harm… Well it does harm… My sex life is ruin from porn..

  4. nope says:

    I am a woman and if I were indulging into my guilty pleasure when my man was away and knew it would bother him and affect our relationship then I would chose “us” instead of “me”. Porn is fine if it doesnt bother your partner or affect the relationship!! If its no big deal then why are men doing it behind their partners back instead of in the same room in front of them?????? I caught my man jacking off to porn and told him if I ever caught him again then we are done!! If I cant please you, and me alone, then all that left to say is…. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Clark says:

    I don’t get all these comments… yes men watch porn. They have and they always will!

    All these women commenting here, seriously, what’s wrong with you?

    Of course, a man has to choose his woman over porn. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t watch it. Guess what, no matter what you say or do, he’ll always watch porn. Even if you never find out, he’ll find a nice cozy secret place to beat himself off when he feels like it.

    @nope, well, restricting your man and threatening him to stop watching porn will never help. You better start looking for a woman and start a lesbian relationship with someone because any guy you date will watch porn now and then. To a guy, wtaching porn is like fun time, just like women enjoy watching soap operas or some favorite show on the television.

    Look, unless you’re guy is suffering from an addiction or it’s affecting your marriage, learn to make him feel at ease. If you want, wtach porn together and enjoy a better sex life too.

    We men are not telling women to stop shopping, so why should men stop wtaching porn? Porn is recreation for men, just like shopping is for women!

  6. Holly says:

    -women think porn is gross?? Not all. I watch at least twice a week and it’s the kind of dirty stuff that would make some men sick… Like gangbang (my favorite).

    So while all these men are justifying WHY it’s ok to watch porn, maybe some will stop and worry why there girlfriends watch porn??

    If and when we do, it’s because we are sizing you up and fantasizing about other men and how much bigger there cocks are!! Seriously, I’ve resantly been on a porn binge because I’m not happy in bed with my current partner. I’m watching porn because I want to cheat and leave for something more exciting!! So go ahead a watch your guys. I’m going to watch mine!

  7. Ronda B says:

    This is bullshit. If a person needs porn, they should stay single. It is cheating. If I see a fine ass man and I get laid because it’s a passtime. Why is it then cheating. You are out of your mind.

  8. Lol says:

    LOOOOOL. Ok I have say- the authour of is this really deluded. And probably has a good deal of insecurity issues as well as a pretty pathetic relationship.

    Not all men are sexist, degrading shits that think with their dicks and have a need to see naked women all the time. Not all men buy into all the BS and fantasize and compare chicks all the time and imagine them naked. A good deal probably do. But many I am fortunate to know DONT. Noooope. And its insensitive and stupid to keep supporting the dumb stereotypes about them.

    Guys can ACTUALLY CARE about their woman. It IS ACTUALLY possible for them to respect their gf/partner and NOT have a sad need to always look at naked girls….

    You cannot compare porn with shopping. You really can’t. LOL.

    Thank god I am a female who actually respects myself. Thank god I have an amazing BF who isnt retarded enough to share the same views YOU do!

    The media is f**ked with its attempts to portray the way all women should be…. and men….whats even more f**ked is the people who buy into all the BS!

    I just wish there were less stupid, ignorant fools in the world.

    If I were your boss I would fire you instantly for this piece of shit article. 🙂

    And you better have the guts to actually post my comment!

  9. Amelia says:

    I am curious…has there been a study done of how many men would 100% not hesitate at all in courting, dating, and marrying a woman who has sold her body on the Internet. Before you cry “free speech, free choice” just pause. I agree with you here. That’s not the question. I dated women exclusively for eight years because I didn’t trust that men actually care about women beyond the woman he is dating/courting/has married. To me, real manhood is caring about every woman on the planet at a basic human level as if she were his daughter, wife, mother. DESPITE how she is treating herself. Women who sell their bodies for money always ALWAYS regret it. Anything they say contrary is an outright lie. No blame on either side, just something to ponder in the heart. Yes, women have to change. When we do, will boys posing as men complain? Protest over losing their “recreation”? Hmmm…

  10. Margaret says:

    Yeah lets see my husband won’t have sex with me says it doesn’t work but has porn site after porn site guess it is time to move on. I call bull shit on this article.

  11. LinSki Bun says:

    I agree, I’m afraid. As a young woman, I have had a relationship come to an end because of porn. My ex said he even wanted me to DO porn. I was horrified and I left. I also have an issue with the kind of stuff there is out there. I mean some sexual fantasy is NORMAL, however some of the stuff is disturbing…underage girls and the like…TEEN this and TEEN that…it’s absolutely disgusting. To all you guys saying its normal to chose porn over real sex. IMAGINE YOUR DAUGHTER getting involved in all that…!!! Imagine that, some sleazy guy ogling your own daughter….not so sure now are we?? !!!

  12. Jessie says:

    Ive been with my bf for 3 years. Just recently I found out he’s been watching porn for a few months. Which is around the time his interest in having sex with me came to a halt. We use to do it five or four times a week, sometimes twice a day. I try everything to make him look at me like he use to, bought slutty outfits. Nothing works. I’m only 22 and I’m told by other men that I’m a very attractive young woman, and how lucky my guy is since he gets to have sex with me. It’s ruining our relationship and he’s to into his porn to realize that. I throw myself at him and yet he still goes to porn. He says he loves me and respects me (yea right).
    If men love and respect their woman, they would stop watching porn for them if it’s hurting them and/or their relationship. I asked him if he’d be upset if I watched it. He said he’d feel like he did nothing for me, wasn’t good enough for me, he’d feel angry, hurt. How do men think women feel then!?

  13. mike says:

    It’s fascinating to see the outrage of the women posters. This isn’t about respect, or your man loving you or not. For ages it was the norm for men to want sex all the time and the women to give it out when, it suited THEIR needs. Trying to make an argument from moral high ground is obviously a self rectifying delusion. You aren’t mad about respect. You’re mad that after all this time, you don’t have complete control over his sexual gratification. You all are just bitter, because you’ve lost a very powerful element of control in the relationship.
    P.S. I have a lovely family, I watch porn, and my wife is fine with that.

  14. Hayley says:

    My marriage was ruined by porn. I like to watch porn sometimes so it is not a moral thing. Perhaps Mike is a bit correct about power. Why do we fear cheating? I think it is losing the power of attraction, Mike. Read what these women are saying: they have lusty sex drives of thir own, dress up and/or put effort into attracting their mate back. This is NOT about the power to withold sex.

    Porn is EASIER than sex. Men are getting more lazy now with this freely available alternative. It IS an alternative in most scenarios. Men watching porn for masturbation are often to tired to then go satisfy the needs of their partner. We have needs and they are being neglected. If you expect us to masturbate the you have to leave us alone, most women who masturbate do it when nobody is at home. Even then you can expect us to lose interest in sex with a man who is less attentive than he used to be. After a time a different man becomes more appealing. I divorced my husband.

    Some lucky people can incorporate the fun of porn into their shared sex life. Some lucky people have a big difference in sex drive that allows for te use of porn for masturbation by one partner. It seems that as a general rule women feel neglected when their men are using porn. Address that problem and maybe we would feel differently about porn and self-gratfication.

  15. Amy says:

    This did not make me feel better in any way. The porn has ruined MY sex life and my relationship. He was layed off work and ‘bored’ having fun with his ‘little guy’ and I did not understand why WE stopped having sex. I thought he was depressed because of not working and I tried the best I could to cheer him up by tring clothing, different acts to make him happy, explored the great outdoors and even watched porn with him. Took him to a booth with a real girl in the window so I could give him a blow job while he watched. HE LEFT!
    He let me believe that it was my fault he was not turned on. I finally found out the truth one day when he did not close all the windows on the computer and he admitted that he spent more time masturbating than he was trying to find a job. It WAS 100% cheating me. WE have sex maybe 2 times a month if I am lucky, HE has sex everyday and will not stop. I am no longer comfortable with him or my own sexuality. Watching porn led to emailing prostitutes on craigs list once while very bored and very drunk.
    Nothing is good enough or compares to what is so easy to access any time of the day. We are still together but living apart. PORN has ruined my life and taken away my best friend.

  16. kevin wilkes says:

    I am grateful for the opportunity to share in this topic, I enjoy porn ,porn for me provides the window of desire when you see women on a daily basis, my strongest fetish is women in nylons, porn has categorized professional women as sexy ways of expression, nurses,secretaries,school teachers,granny,sexy women next door ,what do they have in common skirts ,dresses and nylons,,I enjoy watching curvy,voluptuous,thick,big round bottom women ,but I found strange that a lot of women don’t like their bodies and features they were given to attract men ,women are one of the best creation that was given to man to admire and to enjoy.
    My opinion porn is not the problem in your relationship ,the problems are women still hurting form unresolved issues ,from their past ,present and future,and frustrated ,because they don’t how to get their partner to understand or relate to their own insecurities,we all have them and if we can’t share are weaknesses with our partner ,then your relationship should fail,stop using porn for excuses,porn is not your problems,your relationship foundation is not strong enough,to stop life from giving distractions,porn is a distraction,and porn is a business,its makes money ,that’s why its so powerful,porn has no boundaries ,porn will target any audience that has a need,my opinion if you want ,your friend ,husband ,soul mate,life partner,boy friend to come back to you,stop blaming porn ,and get back to basic rules of attraction,where do you start,you have to go back to the beginning and start fresh ,don’t change ,just start with the basics,look at your photos from the beginning,look at your face,your style,your hair ,hair color,your polished toes ,your Nylons,your dresses,your open toe low or high heeled shoes,your lingerie,your smile,are you doing the things that made you happy,are to wearing the out fits that made him stare at you ,are you teasing him ,are you attracting the small boy that looks at you sometimes with lust and pay attention to what attracts that small boy in him and provide what that boy in him needs from you,when it starts to work ,don’t get angry,just know porn will always be here,but you have something porn doesn’t have ,you are real and you can become what porn is not ,reality,no matter what your body type is you have features that stand out and and all you have to do is have fun finding out what brings out your best features,when you go out every day start to notice the styles that attract your mate,and see what makes your best features stand out .You want to go to war with porn then start with the boy inside the man you are with and become the center of that boy attention. Nobody knows that small boy better than you and if you don’t have a relationship with that small boy in him then you don’t have a relationship with the man you are with ,good luck ,sorry for rambling on its just how my thoughts go it all comes out at once .

    dislike themselves because men like them for it.

  17. Juggalette says:

    Well it is effecting my relationship i feel very useless now

  18. scarbo says:

    I think most men and women will always have opposing perspectives on the subject of porn, notwithstanding occasional exceptions. Our interests and tastes on this matter are not the same, and the sexes are wired completely differently when it comes to sex.

    Also to Amelia, why would or should a man feel obligated to see every woman as if she were his daughter, wife or mother? Do you or other women see every man as if they are your son, husband or father? I doubt it. It amuses me how often women expect men to see things from a woman’s perspective and forgo their own desires while these same women completely ignore male perspectives and interests.

  19. Dory says:

    This is the most self-centered, self-seeking article I have ever read. You are asking women to cast aside their self-worth so their men can jack off to other women. Even you admit that men only do it when they have nothing important to do. Well, they should find something worthwhile to do.

    You are not entitled to see any woman naked. If you want to, that’s another story. People have been living for centuries without pornography, and all of a sudden there is this new attitude that sex is a “need.”

  20. Diva says:

    Women lets take our power back & unite. Let’s get married to eachother we will be able to fill each others needs with everything women love to do & financially support each other. No more whining that you take too long at the shops or how much you spent. No more tears over his selfishness & hurtful behaviour. Who needs a male partner. Take a man for a one nighter use his arse & dump him the next day to get our fix. Leave the men all to themselves lonely at home they will soon get sick of porn when there comforts are taken away & everything we do for them that was taken for granted they now have to do for them selves, geez with all that extra work think they may just be too tired. They could shack up with another man to help but hey they will soon get sick of their close mate who is as disappointing and reminds them too much of themselves. When we all do this & then, close down the sex services & no more new adult content, they will be begging four our return in no time ha ha pathetic there is only so many times you can use your hand without thinking shit I have no life!!!

  21. Sasha says:

    Great article… laughed while reading it but also most of it makes sense!

    Most of you on here that are posting about a womens insecurites – you’re obviously not reading or understanding what we are writing… I am 100% comfortable with my body and sexual needs. i love trying new things and really getting into sex… my partner and i were having sex atleast twice a day for the first year… then alteast 5 days a week for the following 2 years… now going on to our 4th year.. he’s really starting to make me question our relationship… as mentioned in the rest of the posts – we now only have sex mayyyybe once a week.. my sex drive has gone through the roof but my man is either too tired, too lazy to return “the favour” or litterally just laughs and says “maybe i should take more testosterone” jokingly…. however… i find it funny that he has the time and effort to scope the internet for porn but ALSO now youtube just to scope sexy chicks!

    I am a gorgeous gal – his friends would bend me over in a heartbeat… he loves me and wants to be with me… but seriously… sex is a HUGE deal in a relationship and if your women wants it… my god! why not give it to her so she doesn’t have the urge to look elsewhere… just a thought… again to the other posters on here.. this is not about porn making us feel insecure – this is men not having the time and effort to fulfill their woman’s needs!

  22. Star says:

    I find this interesting. So many women are outraged at guys watching porn, and I used to feel that way too. The first time I caught my man looking at porn I was angry and jealous and ignored him when he talked to me. Then I started thinking about it, cuz I watch porn too; I don’t do it very often but sometimes I’m in the mood and he’s at work or whatnot so I take care of myself. I realized that not only was it hypocritical of me it was also just plain stupid. Masturbation isn’t sex, and isn’t a replacement for sex. It’s something different that fulfills a different need. And when I talked with him he told me that he honestly isn’t attracted to the girls, he’s attracted to the thought of him doing that to me or me doing that. So he’s really getting off on thoughts about me. Now if he started masturbating instead of having sex then we’d have to have another talk. But until then our sex lives are fantastic and actually better than ever because he’s gotten new ideas or found things that I never thought I’d love because of porn. And I mean honestly if I’m allowed to stare at hawkeye’s ass in the avengers then he’s allowed to look at scarlett johansson’s. Fair is fair 🙂

  23. nikki says:

    I completely disagree with this article. (You do make a good argument though). I have a great method to defeat the hurt from porn. 50/50 relationship is what I have. I told my man that I don’t care if he goes to strip clubs and watches porn, but I’m gunna do it too. Of course typical guy,….got excited beyond belief, until I made it very clear it would not be the same type that he was looking at. That killed it for him. Whether you guys want to admit it or not, you are just as threated by the idea of your woman watching porn with guys that are bigger, and way more muscular than you, as women are of men watching other breasts and taints flossing around. Recently we got into a debate about me stripping, and we had already planned to go to a club together ( My idea) for my b-day/anniversary. I said excuse me but if you can’t allow me to work there then you have no business going there! If it isn’t somewhere you want your wife or daughter to be, then why are you there looking at other men’s wives and daughters? I think through my feelings alot (especially now that I’m pregnant again). why do I get jealous, what about it makes me angry, why does this or that excite me. It gives me alot of stress reduction to think all the way through it. I did figure out that it isn’t the action that pisses me off, it’s the lying about it; and yes guys, not telling something is considered lying because your not being honest.

  24. SteveLA says:

    I have to call bullshit.
    I have a smokin hot wife and I watch porn because she won’t do the things they do in porn. I’m just the kinda guy that likes to get gross, nasty, rough and dominating. My girl won’t let me slap her, ram my unit down her throat, nail her in the ass and cum on her face…

    I love her but I want to live out these fantasies but she won’t let me, so I plug into the porn tube. Sexually, I couldn’t have found a worse match… Guys, my advise is to hold out until you find a girl that is willing to do everything- and I mean everything from asslicking to girl on girl… Take a less hotter girl if you have to.

  25. Allie says:

    I didn’t have any problem with porn until my husband started choosing it over me less than a year after we were married. I am a hornball. Meaning, I LOVE sex. I love it all the time, am ready all the time, and have never denied him. I have been experimental with him to keep him happy and to see if I enjoy it. I take the facials, ass rammings, spankings, slaps, handcuffs, etc. So tell me WHY the hell did he choose porn over a flesh and blood woman?! He is so disrespectful and sneaky about it too. Waiting for me to be away (And it was EVERY time I was gone). I had my tubes tied and he was yoinking his shit for 12 hours. I had an ectopic pregnancy after the tubal and he stayed home while I was at the hospital. Guess what he did…again?! Worse, this past year, he moved from porn to chatting with hos. THAT is cheating in extreme. Caught him, and am giving him one last chance. Yeah. TRY to tell me that porn isn’t detrimental to a relationship. TRY to tell me that guys are happy with the same old same old. No. It’s just like a drug. They have to have more and more and more and when that doesn’t work, they bump it up a notch. And it IS SICK. You guys use your maleness as an excuse to do these things, saying you’re programmed this way. EXCUSES! GROW UP and take responsibility for the things you do! If it hurts the woman you claim to love and respect, DON’T DO IT!

  26. Kat says:

    As a woman willing to try anything sexually with my fiancé, I feel insulted when he watches porn. Men say they just enjoy watching the things that pornstars do… But what’s the point if a man has his own personal porn star with a bigger sex drive than he has??? I just don’t get it.

    If you give him “everything” why would he want more??

    This concept frustrates me to no end.

  27. Claudia says:

    Nice article, lol!

    I found it rather funny, and at the same time, I found a lot of the comments to be rather intellectual, but more biased towards prudish women who feel threatened by attractive women.

    I’m an attractive woman and I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last five years. We live together now, and I saw him watching porn one evening, years ago. As I saw his screen, I asked him what he was up to. And the only thing he said was, “check this out, this girl’s got such big boobs!”

    I was quite surprised and taken aback at first, and asked him why he’s watching porn. He, on the other hand, looked rather confused and just asked me what the problem was. A conversation later, I realized that he never ever looked at watching porn as cheating on a partner. To him, watching porn was just watching porn, just like doing anything else in life. He never assumed that a girl may not like it when her boyfriend watches porn.

    Well, I do watch porn with him now and then, and we do watch porn a few times even while having sex. But it’s never really bothered me much.

    I think it’s no big deal. It’s just like watching a movie with no clothes on. Don’t you think? Women don’t feel threatened by men watching an attractive female actor in a movie. So why should they feel threathened just because she’s not wearing clothes? Really, porn is just like any other movie. why make such a big deal of it?

  28. Melanie says:

    Men, if you can stop watching porn, stop it.

    Women, if you can’t deal with the fact that your man watches porn, leave him.

    That’s it. The end of the story.

    Quite frankly, as the above commenter says, I don’t think men look at porn as cheating. To them, it’s just a form of recreation. And ask yourself the truth, why does it affect you so much when your man watches porn? Does it make you feel insecure?

    And even if you do tell your man that you don’t like it, he’ll wtach porn behind your back. Unless it’s affecting your sex life, learn to use it to enhance your sex life. The author may try to put this across in a funny way, but he does make a lot of sense if you think of it. The article is not about “why men should stop watching porn”, it’s about understanding “why men watch porn” in the first place.

    Instead of saying how it sucks, for once try to understand what goes on in your man’s mind and why he watches porn.

    Ask your husband if it would bother him if you watched porn. If it bothers him, he has no right to watch porn too. But if he’s fine with you watching porn, it should be a mutual thing. Your man may love you a lot, but that’s no reason for him to shut his eyes and avoid even glimpsing another attractive woman.

  29. cnith says:

    I don’t know what ppl are all worried about. It’s ONLY pictures or movies. And it’s not like women are all so innocent… y’all fantasize about brad pitt or whoever while doing it with your guy and don’t y’all try to lie and say you don’t because you know you do!! WE ALL DO!!! Men are just more visual and need it there in the moment vs in your head…although I bet they do that too.

    In any case, who the hell cares?? Unless he’s choosing porn over you, it’s not a big deal. And maybe if you weren’t such a beyotch he’d want you more often… geez… leave the poor guy alone!!

    I’m a girl. I watch porn bc it’s interesting. I watch it when I’m bored or need something interesting to look at or I want to hear a couple of guys moaning, who cares? Yes I watch gay men porn bc hey, straight porn has UGLY guys and if you get over the anal part, you have two hot guys having a ball… It’s good background noise, believe me…

    So all you women who are obviously too insecure for a real man, get over yourselves. It’s fantasy. Grow some balls and grow the hell up!

    If he’s that bad of a guy you would have dumped him, right? Instead you just complain and that’s just stupid.

    My three cents.

    Cnith

  30. Sick says:

    Speaking for myself there is nothing wrong with men watching porn,until they stop having sex with you all together. My BF and I haven’t had sex maybe 8 times in three years. he waits until i go to sleep,work,or out and he watches porn and even when he think I am sleep he watches women and animals and teens and just about anything you can imagine. All he does is masturbate he calls it safe sex. I call it disgusting,disrespectful and sick. He lays beside me for three years and not want to touch a real woman,my guess is maybe he is gay and is watching the men not the women. To be 54yrs old and watching teenagers turns my stomach. My respect for him is zero. and I am moving on to a REAL man.

  31. Bill says:

    For every gorgeous woman out there there is a guy tired of banging her.
    Ladies, above saying is very true so it’s not your fault if your guy is watching porn or cheating on you, it’s how men are programmed. He needs to spread his seed as much as possible. So if there is a creator, it deserves the blame, not men. I never desired any woman after I slept with her 2nd time. You can call it anything you want but it’s not going to change the reality, men like variety. I’d rather bang an OK looking woman for the first time than the most beautiful woman in the world for the 3rd time.

  32. kitty says:

    I recently found out that my fiance looked at porn every single day at least once for the 3 years we have been together… like most girls the knot in my stomach formed and instantly felt betrayed, pissed, and mislead…I am no prude and can roll with the best of them but I totally think that if you only get to see your loves body naked in a sexual way then you will appreciate it more..its yours and no one elses… Im not even that into the idea of marriage but if your connecting with someone at least give them the respect of truly being into them… well i found a way to fix it in my head… it makes him twist but now I feel somewhat ok with him looking at porn: since everywhere it says, and I agree, that its way more mental for women and way more physical for men then I have to go once a day and meet a guy friend that mentally fulfills me…you know, just when my bf’s not available… just like how I’m not available for sex 24 hours a day( thats why he claims to have to look at porn) because there’s more to me then that. I wont stop what I’m doing all the time because he needs to have sex. “men are just different” and “all men watch porn” is a load of shit. most men i’ve dated didn’t care for it at all but I guess they were pretty busy with me and other passionate REAL things they were doing in their lives. which makes them even more attractive… girls we just gotta find a better breed of man, I suppose… if your man watching porn upsets you then it is completely valid. those emotions exists no matter how hard they try to discredit them. altho you cant change ’em.. waste of time trying. And there’s no way around it hurting your self esteem and confidence at that point. careful before it does some real damage… get some cutie intellectual guy friends and have a perfectly innocent coffee date.. he might just inspire you! wink

  33. Andrea says:

    Also, repeated exposure to a stimulus causes something called DESENSITIZATION which destroys your sexual relationship with your partner and her ability to please you which not only screws you over but destroys her confidence.

  34. yesman says:

    So, I have a recent experience I want to share.

    My wife, whom I have great and often fantastic sex with, has caught me a few times watching porn on Internet or television. I don’t do it much, but sometimes it’s for entertainment, links buddies send me or such. She complains a bit, tries to act like she doesn’t care but I know it bothers her a bit, but hey… I claim my right to do some things as long as I don’t hurt anybody in the process and I don’t watch it to hurt her and I see it as none of her business as long as I don’t let her down in the bedroom.

    So here is the interesting thing. A couple of months ago, she picked up a book called “50 shades of Gray” and she has not been able to put it down.

    As most women, she loves to share everything on her mind 🙂 and that goes for this too.

    At first I thought it was her way of getting back at me, but now I know that it’s not. These books really turn her on and she shares the content of the book with me, and compares me to this Gray figure and our acts in bed. She has masturbated to the book several times. That she masturbates once in a while, I’ve always known and really didn’t care about. So do I, and she doesn’t care about that either.

    At first I didn’t care about the book, then I suddenly got curious and during one of her almost daily references to the book, I replied that I’m glad she found her porn in a book and that would get me off the hook next time she found a porn link on my computer.

    That took her by surprise I could tell and she had to think a bit about that. Suddenly her arguments against my look at porn took a new twist and now it’s all about me looking at prostitutes or poor girls being paid to do something (?) which is really not the type of porn I ever look at, but rather POV (private Point Of View) clips and such.

    She denies that there is any similarity between my occasional porn watching and her book, but I can tell that she gets really unsecure when she starts arguing which is never like her. I wanted to share this as I know how popular this book is with Women. 🙂

  35. BrazilianGirl says:

    I understand that a lot of women don’t see a problem with their men watching porn, and that’s okay with me. But if a man chooses to be with a woman that does not agree with that, then he should respect her enough to NOT do it, or he should find himself a new girlfriend as well as she should find someone new.

    I have always been open about my feelings towards this, and how it affects me negatively. I do not agree with my partner watching it (behind my back). I don’t mind us watching it together (every once in a while, not a MUST every single time). I have been with men who did it, and I noticed the decrease on their sexual performance with me. And also after feeling that he betrayed my trust and everything else that comes with it, I also lose a lot of interest in it. I am not the ugliest person in the world, I modeled when younger, have had 4 kids, but still participated in a beauty pageant after being a mom of 4. Yes, I don’t have the most perfect body, but I want somebody who is OK with that, and still sees me as ALL THEY NEED.

    It has destroyed 2 of my relationships already… and I think men should really think about it if it’s really worth losing (to those that apply) a good woman who really cares for you and loves you like no other… for some “quality” time with your computer screen and active imagination. I think those that opt the latter are really not worth anybody caring for them that much anyways… But that’s just me, and what I think.

  36. Danny says:

    If I told my wife that I need to watch porn to get me horny so that I could have sex with her, that would be offensive. That seems to be the impression that women have of men watching porn. If you need porn to get excited to have sex with your partner, then maybe there are bigger problems.

    There isn’t a way for a woman to understand why men watch porn. If a halfway decent looking woman was horny and wanted to have sex, there are plenty of men that will be more then happy to take care of her. But for a horny man, it is a lot harder. It is hard for a man to find a woman to just have sex. So men have to take the matter into their own hands. A man has to work a lot harder to get laid.

    I have masturbated for a few different reasons. When I was young, I would masturbate before I went on a date where sex was a sure thing, so I would last longer. Sometimes, if I’m tired and stressed out and can’t sleep.

    I thought that masturbation would stop when I got married but that was short lived. If your man is masturbating, you should be glad. It is what he does to relieve himself so that he doesn’t cheat. Women walk about with poor self confidence and everything their man does hurts their feelings, and then if they are mad, then women don’t want to have sex. It is a lot easier to just sit back and masturbate. It’s not somethings I’m proud of.

    I have been masturbating since I was a young guy. So just because I got married doesn’t mean that I am going to stop. I never told my wife I did it until she found out. The closest thing kept near my computer was a bottle of her strawberry scented lotion, so I used that. She smelled that smell on my boxers and instantly, she thought I was cheating on her. I had to confess.

    Watching these porn stars is a fantasy to a certain extent. Them being pretty helps but for me, it is the fact that the woman is doing what the guy wants with a smile and loving it. But me personally, I wouldn’t want to marry one of them. I don’t want to know that worn out whore that has banged 200 guys. I think the biggest fantasy for a man is that the sex on porn is just simple sex, without all the bullshit.

  37. Bluebells says:

    Its like we say men are dumb animals n only think about sex and men get mad. Well saying we love porn just because we’re guys…. Actually proves men are dumb senseless animals. My bf has porn as a sex partner… I’m not getting as much sex as I would like (2-3 times a week would be nice) soooo since he can he his porn, and since all guys do it. I cheat. He’s not giving me the veriety I ‘need’. Now we’re both happy until he finds out then for some reason hell be pissed I didn’t have sex w him! N I don’t even hate porn! Until I got neglected and became the alternative to it. I’m glad so many people are finding this article to be bullshit. Because it is.

  38. adam says:

    This article is awful! Ladies, men are going to watch porn and masturbate sometimes…and if they don’t anymore, they almost certainly have (possibly a ton) before and now they realize how pointless it is. Sure it does make sense on so many levels for a guy to watch and being curious and want to learn or see what others are doing blah blah blah, but also, it’s an escape mechanism. It’s very addicting and very dangerous. It causes great deal of pain and shame in many men as well. I know cause I have been down that road. As a still recovering porn addict, I can say with confidence I didn’t watch porn more than the average guy does. More men are addicted to porn without having a clue about it, the same way people are addicted to sports or watching tv and dont think anything of it. It’s a way of de-tuning from ourselves for a bit, which because of it’s “benefits” and ability to instantly tap into the pleasure center of the brain is why it is addicting. Most men are addicted without ever admitting it or knowing it, that is why they do it frequently and if you said “No more porn ever, and no substituting it with like lingere ads or sexy regular shows” they couldn’t just stop cold turkey. Our habits rewire our brains and the way our thoughts flow and make it very difficult to change this. It takes an active and conscious effort with the DESIRE to make a positive change in their lives first, but since most men don’t realize it, and thanks to articles like this where it is deemed “normal and socially acceptable” they don’t even think to question it. I know I didn’t for years. It took me finding the love of my life, and then years of secret addicting acting and feeling like shit over it thinking “Why am I doing this, and wasting all this time when I have my perfect woman? What is wrong with me that I can’t appreciate what I have the way she deserves and I deserve” this just leads to us wanting to escape even more and then going back to the porn, or for sex addicts to random hook ups etc.

    Porn and sex with strangers is a way of feeling a version of love, cause we are running away from ourselves and a problem/discomfort in our lives, we are getting the love we are denying to ourselves from this substitute, but once it’s over and we are left alone with ourselves once again, and we feel worse because we know deep down we are just running from something.

    Men are brainwashed to be “strong” and we feel admitting our weakness is proof that we aren’t strong, when actually it’s the opposite, it’s proof of our strength to face ourselves head on and aim for a positive change. So LADIES, if your man is into porn it more than likely, has very little or nothing to do with you as it does with HIM! It’s not your fault, and you can be the perfect wife/gf for him and he will still have his issues with this. My advice besides steering him to the information to help him break his addiction (its almost impossible to do if you dont understand how the brain works…I recommend Tony Litster, he’s the best out there in my opinion for this habit of escaping) he needs you to help him realize he is free to be “weak”, to acknowledge his own inner torment and fears and weaknesses, and to realize that it is okay that it happened and that you will love him still no matter what, so this way he can feel more confident to admit what he has been running from to himself and then learn to stop.

    It’s a very challenging process and extremely difficult because it involves making life and habit changes, not just to “stop watching porn or acting sexually addicted”. But I will say this, don’t you feel bad. It’s not your fault he’s addicted, but there are ways you can help him and change to be more supportive of him in his transitional period. Just don’t take it personal, it’s a very powerful force (our habits and learned reactions…ie, i feel bad/stressed/scared i will escape into fantasy land and feel happy for a moment, now i feel worse, escape into fantasy etc over and over).

    You deserve better, especially if he isn’t giving you the attention you need, but HE deserves better to. The real question you should ask yourself (ladies) is do you really love him? If you do, then accept that he has a problem that is bigger than himself and that it will require him to do lots of hard work (and make enevitable mistakes along the way). It will take time, that is for sure, one can’t just say or threaten it out of you, it’s a learned response that was built up over time, but you can re-wire the brain to unlearn it by replacing it with new positive habits.

    So hang in there, and make sure he gets some help cause he will be WAY WAY WAY WAY better off if he does, it’s almost impossible to do it on your own, especially if you dont have the information about addiction.

    And guys reading this, YOU DESERVE BETTER too. I know because I have been there, no judgements coming from me. I get it, believe me! But you will feel better about yourself when you can honor yourself by realizing that sex doesn’t define you and that your horniness isn’t in control of you. It was never about the sex/orgasm/porn, it’s about realizing your deepest fears and how to feel complete within yourself and your identity in spite of their presence. Once you start to accept that you have some fears and insecurities to work on, you can help cut the problem off at the source which drives your motivation. You will still get horny sometimes, and have your challenging moments, but that’s life, but you can overcome the addiction and feel great about yourself more than you even know. Even guys who don’t have a serious problem or only occasionally view porn could benefit GREATLY from learning about how to overcome addiction.

    Anyway, i recommend Tony Litster or feedtherightwolf.org. Those are the ones that helped me the most anyway…and they don’t really require you to fork over tons of money to learn how to overcome the addiction.

  39. Matt says:

    Honestly, I find it funny how most of the posters are so angry at their boyfriends/husbands for watching porn. I am a guy and I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while. She knows that I watch porn regularly because we’re very open about it. When I’m with my girlfriend, we regularly go over 3 rounds a day.

    The days I’m not with her, I watch porn almost every day and fap to it. I still have enough sexual drive to have sex after sex or even porn session. My girlfriend is completely fine with that since she sees that I have no problem pleasing her or me getting pleasure even after I watch porn.

    A lot of times, we watch porn while having sex. We even taped some of our own porn and watch it time to time while having sex and it somehow makes it exciting.

    The point I really want to make is that it’s most likely not porn that’s ruining the relationship between you and your partner no matter how much you want it to be. Guys regularly watching porn is not rare at all; in fact, it’s very very common. Think of it this way: it’s not that your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you because he’s watching porn, but your partner is watching porn because he doesn’t want to have sex with you.

  40. James says:

    I’ve found out through my life’s experiences that when women have a problem with their man watching porn, it’s because they know that in some way he is unsatisfied with them. It may be the frequency, the quality, the lack of variation, his fantasy that they won’t fulfill. It is something.

    Sorry to be cold-hearted, but you can either have a mature conversation with your husband and work it out to make him happy in bed, or accept the fact that he watches porn. Those are the only two options, unless you want him to cheat. If your husband is unsatisfied and you “forbid” porn without giving him an outlet for his sexual desires, that’s exactly what is going to happen.

  41. Tara says:

    I love watching porn, my man told me he never watched it because it was nasty, so I had to convince him to watch it with me… Well, a few months ago I found out he was lying to me. He spent 1250 dollars on watching cam girls. Then spent another 500 last month, after finding out about the 1250 I asked that he stop paying for it and to let me know on occasion so I could watch it with him, he said he didn’t think he should pay or watch it again, then I came to find this month was the 500. I am now beyond pissed because I don’t mind the porn it’s the money and not using it to be intimate with me (I am a freak in bed) bondage toys sex swing kinda fun freak. But he went and did this again and yet I still want my intimate time and can’t get it. So yeah, it ruined my sex life, we are now watching our separate porn. Having our single fun alone… Woo hoo, what a great sex life. I’m at the point of leaving.

  42. Bash says:

    My guy watches porn all the time. Totally fine with me but it really irritates me when he starts talking about the porn star he watched. How she looked, how she had big breasts.etc. and he even told me if only he could have sex with that porn star, he would. He’s such a jerk. Why does he need to tell me? I don’t know what to do with him. I hate the feeling of being compared like I’m not good enough. Stupid porn. So confused.

  43. Tanya says:

    This article just makes me realize how even worse it is!! I’m very happy being single.. why would I ever want to commit to a man who thinks this way??? When I have a boyfriend I”m very sexual (I like 3 times a day) & if he still needs porn & it isn’t enough to admire me but he needs to look at other women naked, then he should live his life alone just with his porn. He doesn’t need a mate. And no woman needs a man like that. Women don’t need men. Men like these just waste our precious time! So if all these men say “its in our nature, relax”.. well its in my nature to want to have sex with several different men a day.. so should I say to my boyfriend “I’m sorry, I want to have sex with many different men. Just accept it.” Because what I do instead is restrict myself from having sex with other men that I want to do it with, so that he feels special & respected. Looking at porn is cheating. There is no excuse any pitiful man can say to change that. My philosophy is that a man that looks at porn is not one you have a long term relationship with.. just a one night stand or a fling.. and if you find out the man you are in a long term relationship with is looking at porn, you have the right to cheat on him & hide it from him. That is what I have done & will continue to do. Cuz men are stupid & its really easy to cheat on them without them ever finding out!

  44. Wolf says:

    It’s not the nudity or cheating aspect I find most worrisome about porn. It’s the way that men will often want their partners to act like porn stars. Most porn stars are treated like shit. I didn’t sign up for that, and I refuse to do so just ‘to keep a man happy’. If he needs to mistreat/dominate me in order to be happy, he needs a psychiatrist, not an understanding/submissive partner.
    And no, before you call me ugly and insecure, I am a beautiful slender young woman who lives a near-nudist life style. BUT I also have a brain which allows me to see the blatant hatred of women in pornography. Any man that jacks off to the mistreatment of women on video is a potential threat to my well-being as a human being.
    I don’t want to feel pressure to take facials or have anal sex just to keep a bloke by my side. That’s not love, that is coercion. I don’t feel safe walking down the street knowing that most men there will have jacked off to videos of women being hurt/raped/tortured (whether it was acting or not is irrelevant — the very (re)enactment of torture is traumatising, ask any actor)
    Lastly, the whole girlfriend and watching porn thing smacks of the virgin/whore complex. Men seem to want to do all these nasty things to women, but only women deemed deserving of such poor treatment. ‘Good girls’ are for marrying (and neglecting later), ‘bad girls’ are for having brutal sex with, no empathy for her required. This hurts *all* women. Read Danny’s comment and you will see what I mean by the virgin/whore dichotomy still functioning. Danny gets off on the domination, and thinks there is a certain class of women that deserve no more than being fucked over by some asshole. However, his wife he ‘respects’ enough not to fuck her roughly, so he just gets off on some imagery of women being hurt. Which of course hurts the woman he purports to love.

    But please, continue to wank to woman’s pain, why don’t you. Just don’t expect me to respect you in the morning.

  45. JASMINE says:

    Okay so…this is the real deal about men watching porn and why women hate it. Men like variety, and it IS because of evolution. Now, women are more emotional than men, so of course we run off of romance novels and movies. Okay. But here’s where things cross the line, when reading a romance novel or movie, women don’t look at them and masturbate or get all excited because they like a character, they’ll just keep watching or reading. Harmless. Doesn’t get her thinking about anything bad about her man. NOW–when a man watches porn, it is INDEED proven to be a type of cheating- Psychological cheating. All because the woman is on the computer naked, and the man cant touch her doesn’t mean he’s not fantasizing about touching her and all of that other bull. Then he must masturbate at that. Men end up googling on about some woman’s body and then comes back to reality to what he really has, which more than likely DOESNT look like the porn stars. That’s the problem with the world today. Men watch porn and wish their partners looked like them, and women get all emotional because they don’t look like porn stars and their men can’t seem to NOT look at other women naked. Watching porn when in a relationship shouldn’t even happen. Like stated earlier, it IS a form of cheating. When you’re single SHOOT! Watch all the porn you want, because you don’t have someone to feel bad about you watching it. Be considerate. Geez. It’s not that hard to control your eyes or mind. It’s just called self control people. Committing anything sexual with someone OTHER than your partner is cheating. CHEATING CHEATING CHEATING. Whether there’s actual physical contact or just mental stimulation–it is what it is. People need to stop trying to excuse men for watching porn when they’re supposed to be committed to someone. I’m pretty sure if the roles were reversed and women googled at the sizes of men’s penises, men would feel EXACTLY the same way–especially if they don’t have a hot body LIKE and “porn star”. There should be a complete shut down on the porn industry because it’s gotten so out of hand. It destroys too many relationships. Even though there are times when it can help a relationship, it destroys way way more than it helps. It gives way to insecurity and pain and every other bad feeling you can think of. The same way as to men hate when women go and vent to other people about their relationship problems, women hate when men watch porn. It’s a give for a give and a take for a take. But watching porn doesn’t show women that men respect them. If anything, it shows that they’re not satisfied. That they have to go and look at other women who look like “whores”. Like??? Why? It just needs to stop. Stop the excuses. Stop the complaining. Stop the looking. Stop the questions. Just don’t watch porn, live with what you have, respect your partner, and everything will be okay and fall into place. Do this and there won’t be a problem with men watching porn so much, because ONLY the single men would be watching it. Makes sense. Plenty of it. Men who are watching porn—PLEASE GET SOME.

  46. Lindsay says:

    Honestly ladies, porn is not a big deal. The real issue is with us. I think women get upset because they already feel bad about themselves and the porn women just make those feelings worse. It’s easy to damage a woman’s self esteem and a lot harder for them to get it back. I went through all of this with my husband. I was over weight and felt terrible when I found out because I didn’t look like those girls and automatically assumed that’s what he wanted. So, I started going to the gym to release my frustration and attempt to look more like the women I thought he wanted. Well, after losing 60 pounds, leaving me at 125, I found my husband was still watching porn. This is when I had my revelation. IT WASN”T ME. Or how I looked, it was just something he did. He has NEVER been unfaithful and porn is just something to do when I’m not home or tired because of work. If you feel like I did, try losing weight, new makeup, clothes, whatever. I promise you, you will find he isn’t watching it because he doesn’t love you or the way you look. He’s bored and his imagination sucks so he has to watch it on the computer.

  47. taija says:

    Well how would you guys feel if your girlfriend would deny sex four months at a time blaming low sexdrive and you would find out that she is actually watching porn instead of touching you? and no, she is not into watching it with you either…. Porn is a reason I have had sex two and a half times in the past 12months because my boyfriend wont allow me to touch him. He is happy to receive oral but never gives it and wont move a muscle during sex, I do all the work. By the way, he is ex-boyfriend now, dumbed him last night and boy did it feel good watching him cry after he has watched me cry over three years. Not so fun when you are at the receiving end is it?

  48. sophia says:

    If a bf goes off to watch porn rather than come into bed with me is an absolute insult!

    How would men like it if strangers gave their gf gifts, money, SHOES, endless compliments, great verbal foreplay? And she masturbated with a stranger and when Mr. BF comes home after working hard, well she’s already satisfied and not interested? Any real man wants to give his woman all he has and to find she is getting her apt paid for by another man, devastating. Or what if a woman had free access to another man’s bank account? This is what it feels like to women. Women are not play things or dolls to act out a males fantasy. It has nothing to do with intimacy and actually porn ruins relationships. It’s all about him! Does that train him to be a better lover? NO It does train him to be more demanding, disrespectful, selfish in (and often out of bed) I was married to a porn addict and his addiction ruined our relationship! Men are more vulnerable t porn than they think! All guys think, “It’s no big deal” If it’s no bid deal then: GIVE IT UP!

  49. mona says:

    D I have to say a relationship most of all ( a Marriage) is about being faithful in thoughts as well as actions body mind and soul!!! And if a man or woman is watching porn it is not being faithful body soul mind and heart. I have caught my husband at the computer next to the bed while he thought i was sleeping and we have sex sometimes couple times a day and i aam more than willing to do anything sexual for him i am very goodlookin and i feel when he does that it is a betrayal in our marriage that makes me not even wanna sleep with him i talked to him about it a.d

  50. cmonladies says:

    C’mon, ladies. Porn is obviously not the source of problems here, unless your boyfriend/husband is an addict, which is often NOT the case. If you’re not satisfied with your sex life and feel your man is neglecting you, TALK TO HIM. Have a serious conversation. Communicate. Make it clear that you need more sexual attention from him. Ask them why they don’t want more sex with you. If they find the same old sex boring, then there are tons of things you can do to spice up your sex life. Just google a bit.

    If the real reason for his behaviour is “I just like porn more than I like you”, then your boyfriend/husband is an asshole – however, most men are not like this, so please, please, don’t direct your anger at porn.

    And about cheating: Watching porn can be considered the same as watching TV or movies. TV series such as Californication, Spartacus, Hung, and many HBO’s series often have very sexual content that can be arguably more erotic than porn, yet you don’t feel like cheating when you watch TV, do you? However, chatting with “webcam mistresses” is an entirely different matter. Chatting is interactive, the person on the other side of the Internet is actually real person who has a name, hobbies, sexual preferences, etc. Some people think this is cheating, which is understandable, but other people think it’s fine. If your and your partner’s views differ in this matter, maybe you’re just not meant for each other.

  51. Zumi says:

    Well my hubby has been a porn addict before marriage but I never thought much about it. Until I checked his hisory on his computer and saw he was jerking off literally EVERY single time when I was not home (without my knowledge). When I tried to initiate sex, he was tired. I confronted him, needless to say the hiding hurt me the most as I for one I’m into kinky stuff osmetimes too, but as an addition, not a replacement for a sexual relationship with my partner. So I’m trying to make him understand how I feel, with examples that his brain can take in, e.g.: reminded him about the times he asked me not to listen to a specific song that reminded me of my ex, because it made him feel insecure- then hypothetised to him, what if he found out that I did it in hiding, even if I knew the effects it had on him, although granted, it was innocent and it did not mean I like my ex. He gulped. He likes watching women on the beach? I suggested lets go to a nudist beach so I can ogle too, and maybe look for meet-ups when other men can do me too. He gulped. I also told him that porn in hiding makes me feel like I’m not his alpha-female. How about he is not the alpha man for me anymore? He said he thinks that’s kinky. Then I broke it down to him: alpha man means the guy that gets me horny and hot and inspired and that fuels my sexual energy. How would he feel if I did not find him, my husband, that physically attractive, but I wouldn’t tell him so I wouldnt’ hurt him, and I still had sex with him, but my ‘juices’ would be solely fueled by my thoughts on this other guy that is really sexually ALPHA for me. How about I don’t find my hubby’s body and sexual spark attractive, but I still have sex with him but in hiding my creativity is fueled by my drooling over my Alpha male. I told him that my pride as a woman is very hurt, as in the past whoever thouched my body thought of it as a PRIVILEDGE sent from the mighty above lol, and now here I am sitting feeling sexless as a plastic duck lol, it just ain’t right, and I want more from my life.
    I mentioned divorce ( like I am willing to try with himm, but seriously, it would be better if we divorced, if he can’t think of me as his alpha female,cos we just make eachother feel rubbish and that ain’t no life no live). He was shocked and even shed a tear.
    In my past relationships the sex was amazing ( other things didn’t work). And I told that to my hubby, I said without comparing, my ex used to whack over porn, but he used to tell me, and also he had time to be kinky and make me feel like I was the holy grail of sex for him, which made me feel like an aplha woman, and the porn never bothered me. What bothers me now is the hiding, which translted his habbit into cheating my needs. He really did wank EVERY SINGLE TIME i was not home. Not once in a blue, not when he got the mood, he did it every time, and kept it from me, pretty sly.
    I told him that the way I ‘work ‘ as a woman, if I fancy someone and I become assured they don’t fancy me that much back, I get get put off and stop being into them. I told him I’m afraid to get to that stage where I find his body disgusting, because he is not treating me like my man should, and I just stop being emotionally and sexually into him

    I think with porn the secret might be to transfer that kinkiness he gets from porn, to the bedroom with his wife. Obviously I am willing to give it a try, but will not settle for any fool.

  52. Michele Rubatino says:

    A woman goes into the doctor and says, “my libido is gone, my husband is no more romancing me activating the desire for me to want to have sex.” The doctor says, “oh no, you do not get to blame your lack of libido on your husband.” For me, I see a man viewing porn, as a crutch, using false images of strangers to operate his anatomy, that he obviously can not control on his own. He then is lead to blame me for the operation of his erection, which is insanity. Sorry fella’s, your erection is not the property of the woman, porn brainwashes men into losing control of their own penis. Furthermore, the female brain connects everything to everything, to bring in the image of porn into “my thoughts” immediately turns me off. I do not welcome the image of strange women naked to get horny. I explained it to a man this way, I got an image of a hot male, and said ok, get horny, right now staring at this naked man. He got violent, and it wasn’t pretty. Why? I just did the same thing he did to me. My sex operates on being desired, by the man I love and trust, I will then willingly lay down and allow him to have his way with me, and love it. I think men that love and stick up for porn should marry prostitutes, come on fella’s prove you can take the bull crap your dishing out to us women. Oh why won’t they marry the prostitute? She won’t be faithful! BINGO! That is why porn is called by women to be cheating. It sends a message to her brain, he doesn’t desire me, and let’s face it, no woman wants to learn all she is to a man is his personal sperm dump toilet. Ladies, it’s time to flush these men down the drain, they want porn? They can marry their hand! I am no man’s prison!!!!

  53. Tracy says:

    I’m 38 yrs old and I have finally realized that we really are wired differently than men. I’ve been around the block and had my fair share of sexual adventures but the biggest turn on is when my boyfriend is “into” me sexually. I’m not stupid, I know the difference when he is thinking about me and enjoying the moment or when he’s “trying” to get aroused for me. Hey, I see it like this…we want “the one” and really guys want “many”…we obviously compromise and hope in the end we both get what we want. I think if a man tries to turn his arousal off of other women, he will also turn it off for you. I’m not trying to be a saint here, but I really do just fantasize about my man. He turns me on sooooo much. But that doesn’t mean I don’t take a peak at porn myself hehe. But I don’t chat with cam people or naughty it up with people, I do see that as a form of cheating. Communicate people, tell your man what you want. If he is choosing porn over you simply leave. I am dirty in bed, other than bringing a third person in (lol sorry dear, dream on haha) we have done it all!!! Trust me, if you are a loving spouse, look good, and are kinky and he still looks at porn, I’m with LINDSAY, he’s bored, has too much time on his hands lol and his imagination sucks. They want variety ladies, spice it up, wear something sexy, colour your hair do what has to be done…GET DIRTY!!! If it’s sex you want, TAKE IT!!! Tell him to step away from the computer, cause if he doesn’t put out, there’s lots of guys standing in line waiting! PS men, please tell your ladies how beautiful they are..If you have erectile dysfunction, go to the doctor, don’t choose porn because you won’t disappoint the gal on the screen. Perform for your lady, ask her what she wants, tell her what you need. I might not look as good as a porn star (neither does he) but hell, I act like one and I expect some action!! I love my boyfriend with all my heart, but I also need to feel desired (by him). I know I look good, it’s just wonderful to hear it from him more often. And ladies, they don’t notice our flaws, they’re just thinking of “gettin’ it wet”. Let your mind go and your body will love you for it. Warm wishes to all the spouses that are struggling with this issue. Please get professional help if you need it.

  54. Ksftshfk says:

    Hahaha, thank you author, for clarifying just how indirect men are when it comes to their feelings – they take much more pleasure in provoking jealousy in women LOL! This actually isn’t a female only “issue,” it’s just that women are often much more honest about their feelings. All women have seen porn, it’s just that it is fundamentally lacking in the (humane) emotional attachment that enables desire in the first place. Because of course, men aren’t stupid enough to feel “jealous” are they? Hahahah… They just try to find a way to justify it, such as writing shitty articles like this. Any woman who feels their self esteem is being affected by the concept of women who look “hot” enough (apparently) (i.e. doing rankerous things) for big fat ugly hairy undesirable men to jizz off to, should consider just how unflattering that actually is! Some men (not all of them) have such little dignity that it’s a good job there are slags in the world to satisfy them! I can understand a strip tease or something, but hardcore or “free” porn is actually DISGUSTING, that’s why women don’t usually like it… we are potentially making babies after all…. lets try to be decent….?

  55. Tim says:

    If you don’t like your man watching porn, you might as well become a lesbian, because it’s not gonna stop. The internet has made it so easy to get a hold of, there’s no reason NOT to.

    Who you can thank for your man glancing at other women and/or watching porn?

    EVOLUTION.

    I love my wife. I’d dare say I NEED my wife. she is my reason to live. I’d probably be dead without her, to be honest. I’d NEVER cheat on her, and there have been opportunities. I still f**k the hell out of her, YEARS later. But, with her permission, I’d sleep with ANY woman who’s posted a reply to this article. I don’t care what color you are, what you look like, big/small tits/ass, IT DOESN’T MATTER.

    Just the thought of sleeping with a new woman, whether he’ll admit it or not, gives a man a PROFOUND erection. He doesn’t love her, he doesn’t want children with her, and he doesn’t want to destroy his relationship with you. He sees a new pair of nipples, pubic hair shaved in a different pattern, and a vagina that isn’t one he’s f**ked before, and he’s game. THAT’S WHAT’S GOING ON IN HIS HEAD, WHOEVER HE IS. Whether or not he succumbs is what determines how much of a man he is. We’re PROGRAMMED to want to sleep with women all the time, with as many women as we can. it’s genetic. Watching porn actually REDUCES this desire, to a point. There are periods of time I don’t watch porn for months, and times where I watch it nightly. The latter generally when my wife and I are arguing over something that actually matters, like finances, or her wanting to spend $10,000 to extend our twelve year old dog’s life another potential few months… 😉

    Anyway, if he’s still keeping you satisfied in the bedroom, don’t worry about it. If he’s not, tell him to man the f**k up, stop sulking, and take care of his woman, or get the hell out.

    This isn’t rocket science.

  56. kjhasdfjkh says:

    In response to the above; women like shagging new men too. Since women are the ones who give birth and raise the children (usually), they need to pick as best they can, hence dicks like you need to get whatever’s going. Who’d honestly want a male slag like you?

  57. Sandy says:

    No, this article did not help me feel better about why my husband watches porn. In fact, it upset me even more. Since the article was supposed to explain why men watch porn, and was somehow supposed to make women feel better, but of course didn’t, I’m going to explain why women utterly hate their men watching porn, & hopefully make men feel rotten about doing this to the woman they supposedly love. Notice I said supposedly love. I say supposedly, because I believe if a man REALLY loves you, he would honor & respect you enough to never look at porn. Yes, I did say that. NEVER!! Any man who understands how porn makes a woman,who is in a commited relationship feel,& continues to do it, even after she tells him how she feels,is not worthy of a commited relationship with any woman. Here is how women feel. We walk in the room & find you gratifying yourself to an on screen woman who is showing you everything she has. We see you completely turned on by another woman, & we may even see you get your rocks completely off over this other woman. We are on the outside, looking at you having a relationship with another woman,& believe me,it feels completely real to us. Why, you ask? It was real to you at the moment of your climax. You were right there with that on screen woman,having real sex with her in your mind, at that moment. And, you forget, we saw you doing it with that other woman, & we saw how turned on you were by a woman who was not us. At the time of you watching porn, your whole mindset is cheating , if you are in a commited relationship. Your wife or girlfriend is not enough for you obviously, so why then are you in a commited relationship? You cannot be in a REAL commited relationship, unless you are ready to give up the porn.That is what real commitment means. Yes, pornography is cheating, just ask most women.And men are full of s—.They know it’s a form of infidelity. But, it’s better to play dumb, and get away with it for longer. When you use another woman, other than your wife for sexual gratification, you are cheating on your wife every single time. The whole mindset of a married man using porn, is the cheat & get away with it aspect, just because it’s not a woman in the flesh. PLEASE, how much closer can you get to real cheating. All the feelings & results are the same as cheating, are they not? GROW UP BABY MEN! You are the cause of most divorces in the world today, & porn is one huge reason why. We here men say that their wives nag them. Well guess what they’re nagging about? That’s right, they’re asking you to please not watch porn, because it not only hurts. It also destroys our self-esteem. We feel compared to the women in porn. We don’t feel like we measure up. We feel you are no longer attracted to us. We even feel like our marriage vows with you were a lie.We feel as though you deceived us. Afterall, when you gave us your wedding vows, I don’t recall you saying, ” I will love, & honor you, and only climax over the women in porn 3 to 4 times a week,instead of being with you.You don’t mind do you honey? I love you, but I also love climaxing over other women a lot. So, please be my faithful, commited wife, and I won’t cheat on you in the flesh, but I will have a grand old time climaxing over the women on the screen”. A word of advice for women who’s husbands cheat with porn, next time try this on him: After one of his best friends pays a visit, tell your husband that you couldn’t help notice that his friend was wearing really tight pants, & you could see that he has a whopper much bigger than your husband’s. Then tell your husband that you would never cheat on him, but you’re going to go turn yourself on with the thought of his friend’s thing on your mind, & that when you climax,you’re going to imagine that his best friend is deep inside of you. See how your husband likes that. Tell him it’s not cheating, to imagine yourself having sex & getting off with all of his friends. He can have his porn fantasy & you can have his best friend fantasy. A fair exchange, right?

  58. Married Guy says:

    I don’t get it… So if, as a married man, I tell my wife that I don’t want her to read 50 Shades of Grey, would that be out of bounds? That’s basically porn. If I ask my wife not to watch “chick flicks” or read romance novels because I feel that she is forming an emotional attachment to the characters and actors and comparing them to me, am I being completely ridiculous?
    (Hint: The answer to both questions is yes.)
    Porn does not mean I do not love my wife. However, if I watch porn to the exclusion of some activity with my wife (be it sex or anything else), that’s a different matter entirely. The women complaining above are simply using porn as a convenient excuse for other relationship problems. Replace the word “porn” with “football” for example. If a man watches football instead of having sex with his wife, or he is obsessed with football and ignoring his wife, that is a HUGE problem. Does that mean all men watching football is bad? Hell no. It just means that obsession with it is bad. Same thing with porn. Think about it objectively for a second.

  59. Jenny Harper says:

    even at the begining he says If I were a women I’d be pretty pissed off too

  60. Sandy says:

    This is to Married Guy: If your wife is happy with you watching porn, then you have the objectivity that you so desire, & I’m happy for you. However, if you have a wife who is emotionally destroyed by your porn use, & you continue to use it, you are making a subjective decision that excludes your wife’s feelings, and you really should just divorce her so you can happily jack it ALONE. Most women feel cheated on by porn, & I know many woman who had great marriages & wonderful husbands until porn intruded. Porn often causes marital problems, not vice versa. Let me give you my situation. My husband & I have been married almost 30 years. He is the sweetest guy I ever met, and we had a wonderful, loving & intimate relationship. Everyone was jealous of our relationship, with good reason. We were like honeymooners throughout our marriage. He had never watched porn in our marriage (his decision), though he did at times when he was single. When we married, my husband told me that he thought porn was disrespectful to the woman you love. I said “Ok”, end of discussion. I never thought about it again. Fast forward 28 years, and my new job required me to work evenings for awhile. I ordered digital cable, so my husband could watch all the sports he wanted on the evenings I was gone. And, we got a computer & internet. We had never been apart, and he kept telling me he would miss me, so I ordered cable & internet to keep him busy for the few months that I had to work evenings. He was really sad that I would be gone. Anyway, to make a long story short, curiosity got the best of him, since porn is so readily available now. He is a man afterall, & he is not beyond the draw of looking at naked women; it’s human nature. But, the curiosity began to take on a life of its own & turned into an obsession that bordered on addiction. Everything about him began to change. He became more judgemental about me & my appearance. He became moody & short tempered. He was always a laid back sort of guy before. Then, I began to notice other things too. He started staring at other women when we were out together. In the past, he would notice good looking women, but never to the point where I felt offended by it. Now, he was staring until he would get this glazed over look in his eyes. If the women were wearing revealing clothing, he would stare directly at the area being revealed, usually between their legs, hoping to get a sneak peak. I could hear him breathing heavy, & he often had an obvious erection. The women he drooled over were younger than our daughters & that began to make me feel ill. At this point I didn’t know about the porn, so I had no idea what was wrong & our marriage was rapidly going south. Then, I came home from work early one night, & found him pleasuring himself to porn. He was so excited over what he was watching that he finished with me standing there watching him. It was only after he finished that he became sorry, humiliated & shocked that I had walked in on him. Right then, all of our new marital problems were revealed to me.He was honest about everything & told me that curiosity became obsession & obsession now bordered on addiction. He told me when we were out in public,he would imagine what real women would look like naked & even imagine himself with them. Nice, hey? He said he hated himself for doing it, hated the way he was treating me, etc., & begged me to stop working evenings, so we could be together again. It is now 2 yrs. down the road & he did quit the porn. Our relationship now is even better than before, if that’s even possible, because it was wonderful to begin with. Porn nearly destroyed our marriage. My husband was the first to admit that, & it really did begin with simple male curiosity. And, it wasn’t until he quit watching it that he realized the extent of how terribly he was treating me. At first he kept asking me, “Was I really treating you that badly, or did you start thinking that after you discovered my porn use”?. I definitely knew he was treating me badly before I discovered him using porn. And please don’t compare football to porn. Football does not make me feel cheated on or destroy my self-esteem. I don’t watch football, but my husband does & I love that he enjoys it. I am not just a football widow. I am an all sports widow, & you know what? I love that too. And, I love to act like my husband’s maid when he watches sports. Sometimes, a French maid who serves him drinks & snacks, in exchange for a little fun later. When he was viewing porn, he couldn’t even get an erection with me at all. His brain was rewired & he could not function for real sex, just screens with his own hand. That was just another awful thing that affected, or should I say infected our marriage. Our sex life is now very hot again, & he’s performing just fine, thank god. And, the god awful staring at young women has ceased. He is back to normal admiring of beautiful women, which I don’t mind at all. Of course I insisted that my husband stop watching porn, & he agreed. I also reminded him about what he said when he married me that he thought porn was “disrespectful to the woman you love”. So, here’s the thing, if your wife is perfectly ok with you watching porn, then I guess in your case, you are a lucky man. However, if your wife is not ok with it, then I understand the extreme pain & hopeless devastation she feels over it. And, if you continue to view porn despite her protests then, NO, you DON’T love your wife because you are risking losing her. Yes, there are men who respect their wives enough to not watch porn. There are even men who find porn disgusting. There are even religious men who pray for help to not watch porn, because it can be a struggle for men. If your wife hates porn, she will go through stages; anger, sadness, hopelessness, acceptance. Unfortunately for you, when she reaches acceptance, that’s usually when she leaves you. Acceptance is when your wife realizes that you don’t respect or honor her enough to give up your purely subjective, selfish infatuation with other women’s breasts & vaginas. The reason you don’t cheat in the flesh is not because you are commited & faithful to your wife. You don’t cheat in the flesh because you cheat in your mind with hundreds of different women, as often as you feel the need. And, your wife feels cheated on everytime you do it. Just because you don’t think it’s cheating, that will not help the pain your wife feels. The only way your wife could make you feel how she feels is, by really cheating on you. Would you like that? No, I don’t think you would. But that’s how she feels, LIKE YOU CHEATED ON HER. You don’t know what real love, faithfullness or commitment means, until you give up the porn & allow only your beautiful wife to be everything that you’ll ever need in a woman. It’s sad that so many men choose selfishness over real LOVE.

  61. Jenny Harper says:

    If women in porn looked more like the average women not saying big fat women just more everyday women then alot of women would not feel as threatened by it do you guys really need the perfect body i know nice to look at but maybe we should stop trying to get off onunrealistic standards and learn how to get off on reality and come down to reality and the violence does not need to be there keep it more real.
    Both men and women need to stop idolizing beauty to this extreme men are drawn to it and women try everything to achieve it but it is getting very unnatural and unhealthy for both men and women todays body image standard for what is considered the perfect body is 23% less then what a healthy women’s weight should be women are always trying to be the one that catches your attention so they end up with a eating disorder or just being depressed some have a healthy self esteem 2 out of 10 not a very good figure.
    Would you want to know that you are not enough for your partner and you could never come close thats what porn says to me I truly understand the excitement porn can bring I just think it should be on more a realistic level I realize its not going anywhere so lets try not to make women feel they don’t stand a chance at pleasing you.
    AND DO LET HER KNOW AND FEEL HOW SHE TURNS YOU ON
    women need to know they do it for their partners if they don’t some feel they failed
    and with all the media you can’t escape all the silicone and airbrushed beauties I feel like less of a women I know I’m the one with the self esteem problem (far far far from the only one) and I let it get to me but its hard to ignore its in your face constantly I just think both men and women should stop buying into it and supporting it.
    I also believe the more beautiful women you see the less attractive your partner becomes.
    And guys when your little girl has an eating disorder or is extremley depressed are you gonna give at shit then.I know some men give a shit now but for those who don’t.It is natural for her to try to be as attractive as she can and chances are she is never going to love herself completely.
    I guess what I am trying to say is keep the porn more realistic stop fantasizing wishing you could be with the best looking women out there and maybe alot of us would not feel so threatened that we dissapoint you

  62. Jenny Harper says:

    alot of womens sexuality comes from feeling secure and knowing she turns her man on and that he is into her so when you guys watch these unrealistic sex goddesses of course that is going to make us feel threatened my suggestion since I know porn is not going anywhere why cant we tone it down start putting average women on the screen.I myself used to use porn alot and I got very excited and aroused I know the feeling but I was watching for the action not the hunk or how big he was lol they usually were ugly I was devastated to learn that you guys compare us I am hoping all men don’t do this if you were watching an average women she don’t have to be ugly and she can look better then me then I would not have a problem if it was not needed to turn my partner on to be with me.

  63. Kate says:

    I think both sexes are slightly misled here. Men and women have exactly the same characteristics, feelings, desires, problems.. to varying degrees.

    Men, when becoming excited by the idea or their wives / girlfriends watching porn with them, appear to make the assumption that women would like to watch the same things, which would be male orientated depictions, since porn is more actively sought out by males, who have around thirty times more testosterone and therefore a significantly higher drive. It therefore tends to be designed for them. Men often prefer more animalistic and less emotional sex, which looks like more of a sporting activity, and which lacks emotion, a primitive (and not especially flattering, women should understand) instinct. Women enjoy sexual / sensual things, but not usually sweaty, slimy, squirty, agressive acts such as that on most porn sites.

    When women get aroused (or perhaps even genuinely interested, as is more likely the case) by men who perhaps look or behave in a more exciting way than their partners, or are more intelligent / of a stronger character / more original / more sexy, men usually do tend to feel quite upset and jealous about it. Usually they deal with feelings by getting angry. Men complain of their women looking at other men, because they know men have a harder time resisting.

    The reason why this looks like a women’s issue is simply that men seek sexual stimulation more often, due to their higher sex drive. This doesn’t mean they don’t have jealousy, or don’t care, or just want to have lots of women all the time, as this author suggests. Men do often try to create this impression, though, due to their insecurity. Women are more likely to give themselves to their desired person properly, hence why they may expect it and be shocked when realising men view it as a sport. I think the issue is that porn seeking shows a lack of control, that could ultimately destroy a family (involving children) which is more offputting to women, who usually assume the responsibility.

    I think we all too often make assumptions, such as (porn watching man) says “all men watch porn – we will always do this – so get used to it” — no decent woman actually wants a man like this, and actually, not all of them are so.. No decent man would tolerate this from his female partner, either. So the same applies either way.

    Women are capable of being animals too, obviously… but I think anyone who isn’t willing to be depicted doing sexual things (with or without whoever), for unknown, possibly nasty men to jizz off to, should probably (for their own decency) not watch it either.

    Personally, I am a woman and have enjoyed (subtle and non-“gory” / normal) erotic stuff, like strip teases, but hardcore porn disgusts me and turns me off. I still question watching anything, because men in porn for women often lose their erection, which shows vulnerability and low self esteem (something also most prevalent among female performers, though unbeknown to the men who toss over it).

    If you don’t like your partner watching porn / they lie to you about it / don’t please you / appear disrespectful to you or your sex ; just realise you can’t have your desired relationship with them. Sometimes it can take a few tries, it’s just necessary to know that it’s not your problem they demean the other sex, or you, it’s theirs, therefore they need to deal with it alone. Same goes for everything, it’s about accepting reality and taking what you want out of it.

  64. Eddy says:

    Ive read a few messages hear, and see a definate trend, and not a healthy one.

    The author is trying to let women know – its safe, its ok, and no risky (if the man is normal). But what seems to be happening ? the logic is getting spun round 190 (as usually happens).

    Its been mentioned here that women hate being compared to on-screen sex goddesses, but really, is that true ? Have a real look at who most men finding exciting/who they watch. You’l find its 100% down to a specific in-built preference – there is always some very small things in a person that attracts another, and We All Do Know That – nobody is that blind to it.

    No woman should put her self down just because of what a man does like this, thinking she is being ‘compared’ to others, women play as much as men, and do all just the same things, but I think its as soon as any person (man or woman) feels they have lost control that we all start to feel unhappy, and even threatened and angry, at this kind of behaviour.

    Sex is fun, 99% of us enjoy it, so dont make it a battle. Watching porn can just be a part of another persons sexual preference, it has no bigger deal than that. I hate several things my g/f ‘requires’, but I accept it happening anyway, life isnt perfect, just relax and talk through things sometimes.

    Nobody will get to read this lol – all my messages seem to vanish off websites 😮 No idea why lol

  65. Some Kid says:

    Okay, this is going to be long, don’t attempt to read this unless you have the attention span for it.

    I feel really bad for literally everyone who has left a comment here. Women who have been tossed aside for simulated barbie doll sex and men who can’t understand why that’s a problem. Just let me say this, I’m a girl, I think AMATEUR porn involving couples who ACTUALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH EACH OTHER is great, I watch it every day or almost every day. I have no qualms about watching it with my boyfriend, either.

    But when something gets to be a straight up addiction, it’s dangerous territory.
    Very, very recently, my parents’ marriage ended because of porn. My father became addicted to the fresh out of highschool peroxide blondes (whose unsexy moans sound like a baby being beaten with a cat) that mainstream porn likes to offer. He would stay up all night until 6 in the morning EVERY DAY, watching this shit. He would go to the car with his laptop in the middle of the day and masturbate in the public parking lot at work, with security cameras all around. I’m pretty sure he was caught at some point. He ruined us financially with his addiction. Eventually he wouldn’t even hug my mother any more. Are there any men who are fucking stupid enough to tell me that’s normal? Is it okay for a grown man to be lusting after girls as old as his daughter? Is it okay for a man to risk getting in trouble for public indecency just because he’s bored?

    It really hurt my mother, most of all. She tried to get his attention in any way possible, she put up with his bullshit for a decade. All she got in return was horrible self esteem and no self-worth. When a husband won’t touch his wife because hardcore pornography warped his sense of what he finds attractive, it crosses all sorts of lines. Have you guys even SEEN what goes on in hardcore pornography? If you’re jacking off to a woman gagging on a dick so hard she vomits, there’s something wrong with YOU, not your poor hapless spouse who RIGHTFULLY refuses to live out your sick fantasy.

    After what happened in my family, after almost losing our house, after losing all trust in my father, I did some research on pornography and addiction. Nobody in porn is happy. Nobody wants to fuck each other. Everyone is so drugged up and diseased I don’t even think they realize what’s going on any more. It’s filthy and anyone who prefers images of diseased, beaten, drugged up, sad women over the real thing isn’t worth anyone’s time.

  66. timmsa says:

    This is a load of crap. your marriage will be effected by him watching porn. I know someone whose husband has not touched her in 19 months and she caught him watching porn this morning. And he acted like it was no big deal

  67. Normita says:

    I was laughing out loud while reading this article — BIGGEST B**LS**T of an excuse any guy who’s into porn himself (maybe even addicted to it!) would write about. The article was so shallow and primarily written by some person who is as backward and lame.

    Pornography has been created obviously out of the evil need of some guys to project their so-called “natural” tendencies and desires– BS! As a person and as an adult, you should have understood by now the difference between good or bad—pornography definitely does not fall in that positive end. When you look at these sites, you’d find repulsive exploitation of women in various age, sex and form! And they are supposed to cater to the wide tastes of men?? STUPID ARTICLE! Now if you have no control of your urges, and finds pornography as “normal” then obviously there is a bigger problem in your head–aside from your balls!

    Any guy who is committed to a woman (most especially if we’re talking about married couples) is supposed to show love and respect for her by solely devoting himself (mind and body –ALL!) to his partner—that means a fantasy or even a short thought about the “sluts” or prostitutes shown on this porn is basically classified as cheating! We all know that by indulging in this bad habit, the person would be conditioned to think of these crazy things as okay—as “beautiful” or “good.” There is no difference than getting as physical with whores when men f**ks themselves while ogling these women on porn sites –live or recorded ones!

    If a guy would opt to touch his self and salivate on porn instead of making love to his partner or wife then this obviously is a sure killer of romance and relationship. And if this guy continues this habit, he would later on crave for the “unnatural,” absurd, fake women (minor or not), or weird sex acts because of how his brain have been trained to like it and feel lust for it. The principle of mind-conditioning is not rocket science!

    Any guy who thinks pornography and the indulgence on it is okay, therefore is a living evidence of how such negative medium corrupts and pollutes one’s head.

    Guys should have been taught well about values and most especially respect for women.
    Shame on this writer for propagating the idea that pornography is but normal for men!

    You (Writer) obviously have lost your decency and good ethics after your brain have been diluted with too much watching of porn! I feel so sorry for any woman you’d be involved with (and same goes for all the men out there who has this bad habit especially the obsessed ones!)…

  68. AdrianS says:

    You must understand that men get bored fast, that is our nature, that is why we were made to mate with as many females and spread our gens. Why do you think the oldest job in the world was prostitution? Yes feel angry that your grasp on men is weak now:D

  69. Jenny Hood says:

    First off I think its really attractive that you canexplain this to us when obviously our guys cant. It still makes me feel uneasy from the simple fact that hes able to judge another set of breast. He wouldnt feel that confident either if i were googleing another mans package. The world makes it seem as if its cool to be understanding of a guy watching porn instead of cheating.there close to the same thing im very interested in seeing it from other perspectives because it honesstly messes up my self esteem to the point id rather break up with him, but what can i do boys will be boys. Actually i think porns sexy too why doesnt he like watching it with me? please help me with this one too how do i know that when he sees a female on the street or anywhere who looks that porn star on the flick that he doesnt want to touch his little man? its is really stressful its effecting my trust in him and the attractiveness when he denies watching it.

  70. Sara says:

    I am a woman and I watch porn very frequently. Obviously, when I watch it I am not attached to any of the characters. My boyfriend and I have great sex but sometimes it’s just nice to have some alone time. Also, it can be difficult for me to relieve myself without some visual stimuli.

    Porn is like a tool. If you use a vibrator, is it cheating if you have a perfectly good boyfriend? No, of course not. Porn helps me relieve myself when I want to pleasure myself alone with no pressure. I would assume it’s the same for a man.

    Porn can also be good because there are some fantasies (like threesomes or male domination) that you might be uncomfortable with and won’t want to fulfill. I think it’s fine to let your man watch porn. He’s not “looking at naked women”, he’s just fulfilling a need. Everyone has to eat and sleep and poop, and most people need to have sexual release, too. Normal human functions.

    The next question is, “well then why doesn’t he just have sex with me?”. It makes sense, but sometimes, like I said before, it can be nice to just get off alone, in private, with no pressure from another person. Porn is just a tool to get people off, and you should not be offended. You should only be worried if this is occurring excessively. If this is true, and more often than not your man chooses to go it alone instead of doing it with you, something is wrong and you should take action by either talking, seeing a counselor, or simply splitting up.

  71. candice says:

    Why won’t you men leave us girls alone so you can peacefully f!@$# each other along with palmala and her five kids.

  72. claire says:

    my husband and i have been together 10 years married for 4 yearas and have 3 children together. i am uk size 12 i was uk 10 when we met. i will get up to get the chhildren ready for school etc, he will lie in bed and watch porn. i have sent him photos of me when i’m at work, he deletes them and looks at porn! i have confronted him, first he denied it i told him i’ve seen him then i asked “what do they have i haven’t” he replies “nothing”. we go to bed together i give him a blow job we start to have sex he says, “its gone now i think i’m finished,” part way through. half an hour later he will go to the bathroom and finish himself off. i don’t know whats wrong with me, he does tell me i look nice and he puts his arm around in public but at home its a complete different story!

  73. Kay says:

    How and where was this suppose to make us feel better? Porn is fine until it affects our sex lives. When a man would rather watch porn and fantasize about the sluts on camera than having sex with their women there is something wrong. But this is for all the men out there ..if you aren’t sleeping with your wife there is someone that will. There are men out there that can make us women feel sexy. And are good in bed as well. So men when your women come home with a new sex move. It won’t be from a computer.

  74. john says:

    i’m 22 years old, single..sometimes i watch porn, but when i’m in relationship, i never watch porn at all believe me, hell i dont even masturbate……why? i have my woman, i rather spend time with her, talking, walking outside, watching TV,playing games, playing music, or even not doing anything with her, just spend time together…….even if she dont want sex, i dont masturbate….why? i hate being slaved to my testicles and penis……..i’m the type of man who always hate and sad when women said all men are pigs and they just want sex…..while other men just laughing hearing that, i’m sad, hell once i even cried..i hate that, i want to prove that not all man are like that!!!!!!! and for all the men here that saying men watching porn is natural and evolutionary lol, BULLSHIT……..my father never watch porn at all, hes very loyal and commited husband…..many men in the past can live without porn and certainly they can live and sex with just one woman…..saying watching porn is natural and evolutionary is BULLSHIT!!!! maybe if the man is single, but if he is in loving relationship, why he want to cheat??? yes porn is cheating, because you use another woman to jack off!!!

    its make me sad seeing all the bastards that likes to jack off to porn have a girlfriend, a wife who love them even want to have sex more than them!!! ( ITS SO LUCKY HAVE A WOMAN WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, MOST OF GUYS IN THE WORLD DONT, AND YOU CHOOSE PORN!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT!!! )

    and yet i’m still single…..lol…..i dont know, but i have many guy friend who agree with me, that jacking off to porn while in relationship is cheating, NOT ALL MEN ARE PIGS BELIEVE ME!!! SOME OF US HATE BEING SLAVE TO OUR TESTOSTERONE!!!!

    my advice, GO FINE BETTER MAN!!!!

  75. John says:

    I’m 31 male and I was a former drug addict. The scary thing is, drugs hold wayyyy more addiction power over the brain than even sex – especially ones like heroin and cocaine. Internet porn was made and legalized to make money and these people aren’t stupid, they know how the male brain is rigged and by giving them a “free drug” via internet they can make severe $$$. I haven’t used anything in 3 years but I’ll be honest, if I knew I could click my mouse and a baggie of heroin rolled out, I could never get clean.

    You can go round & round on this subject and countless other relationship topics but there is a sad truth that exists today and that is men and women are so self centered in today’s society that this kind of stuff is inevitable. Divorce is inevitable. Marriage was not designed for self centered people.

    We live in an age of pigs and neither sex is excluded from that.

  76. John says:

    This gets really hypocritical when you look at it from different angles.

    Women don’t get upset or as upset when they find their man masturbates (no porn, just mentally). They then ask their man “what do u think about when you masturbate?” … Ok, that’s a trap door question and us guys know it so we are forced to answer with “you.” 99% of the time, thats a lie… but the alternative is a fight.

    Women get really angry when they find out their man watches porn b/c their man is watching a computer screen with other women on it. A man cant lie and say he thinks about you while he is watching these women – that’s just retarded and it would be insulting your intelligence.

    So when you look at it from those two angles it’s really more about your self centeredness just as much as its about him mentally comitting infidelity.

    So then you all gather around for a pitty party (like this hole thread) and say how dare he for watching porn when he has a gf or wife – and he should come initiate sex. Now ask yourself how many times did he initiate sex and you turned him down (and immediately you’ll say you didnt feel like it but the truth is many times it was out of spite – it was a chance to hurt but you hide behind a never failing lie – …. just like the lie he told you when he thinks of you when he masturbates.) So you get pissy when your man initiates sex – and you dont want to b/c of whatever. Then you get pissy when your man stopped initiating sex and is watching porn. It sounds like you put him in a “DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DONT” situation.

    Last thing – and I have heard this with my own ears – I have heard women in relationships talking about vibrators. They acknowledge that they use them and even give each others high fives and laughing about it. …. AND THATS ALL FINE OF COURSE. But come to find out their man is watching porn and its armageddon.

    SELF CENTERED, SELF CENTERED, SELF CENTERED …. when you really break it down to the core thats what it is. Watching porn in a relationship is not good but I assure you, you have alot more to do with it than you think and also that you have bigger problems in your relationship than the porn…. you just cant see it. People refer to them as “relationship problems” but the truth is that its really “me” problems – both man and woman. And usually at the core of that “me” problem is SELF CENTEREDNESS.

  77. MC says:

    As a man, I can tell you, porn is very addictive. I have had trouble with porn for a very long time. And I’m one of the few men who will admit that porn can and will destroy your relationships and lifestyle. It makes you very lazy because after all that masturbating you are left drained and sluggish and tired. You don’t want to do anything. I regret that I was even addicted to porn, and it was very hard to quit. For a healthy relationship and lifestyle, guys, stay away from porn! Because it is cheating, you are having sex with a different girl in your head every time you watch porn. If you value your relationship with your spouse, significant other, or girlfriend and have any respect for women and a shred of diginity left as a man, leave porn alone!

  78. permalink says:

    Let me give my story. (I’m a guy). I read most of the comments. Many of the women here seem to be with guys that are *REALLY* addicted to porn. Too much of anything is NOT good… I have been married to a very lovely woman for the past 5 years. We’ve had our difficulties, like everyone. We are extremely busy businesspeople with small kids. We don’t have much time together. The only time she sometimes can is late at night, and I’m ready to sleep. “Sometimes” maybe once a week, she’s able to juggle the kids to someone else and we can actually have sex. One time we travelled together on business and we had the best sex we’ve ever had. She knows I watch porn and she leaves me alone, but she knows I would take her anyday over porn– if only we could.

    The only alternative to ‘releasing the energy’ myself every now and again is:

    * cheating on her another woman, which I haven’t done. There have been many invitations to cheat, but I haven’t. (I’ve *never* told her about these invitations specifically because it’s usually from women she knows). I wouldn’t tell her because it would just make her mad, hate these people, and trust me less.

    * seeing prostitutes. (which I don’t do either– personal choice, even though it’s not illegal here)

    * porn – Unfortunately, it’s not a perfect world. If we weren’t so busy and we HAD TIME to have sex every day, we’d be broke. I think we have some sort of “middle ground” with porn. But I don’t advocate porn quite as the author does; it’s not like watching a regular TV series.

  79. David says:

    I agree with third John comments. When we initiate sex, its almost likely that women are the one who reject us. Whose fault? of course its men fault, we should know that women sometimes tired, women dont want it all the time, bla bla bla. And if we dont initiate much, whose fault? Again men.When we dont initiate, its men to blamed again, we men, we are supossed to be sex machine who must be ready when our women want to have sex. Why i turn to porn? its the feeling of rejection. When my wife reject me, i know my wife not desired me. Even when we do it, i know its just a chore for her. She want to feel sexy, feel desired, but she clearly not find me sexy and shes not desired me. Thats why i masturbate to porn. I dont have to deal all the bullshit feelings ( not her feeling, my own feeling, yes men have feelings too ) with sex with my woman. Even when she initiate it now, i know she initiated because of her self centered act, she want to be desired, she feel lost because i’m not initiating. I already lost my desired for her because of rejection . So i reject her when shes initiating.

    There are no men who find porn better than sex with real women. But, if the sex with real women are not good, well jacking off to porn is easier and better. Good doesnt mean blowjob, anal, or hundred porn circuss tricks. Good means affection. Show your desired for your man. Tell your man that he is sexy. Dont initiate sex with him because you want to feel sexy and desired. Its egoistical. Men dont need orgasm with women. We can get it from jack off to porn. We want to make love. If you only have sex for chore, no wonder your men choose porn.

  80. Ronnie says:

    the reason why so many women hate porn is simple : they lose their weapon. Witholding sex? Sorry babe i got my porn lol

    Sex is no longer a womens weapon because men got porn. deal with it

  81. unloved wife says:

    My husband chooses porn and his hand over having sex with me all the time. Our sex life went from 3 times a day to once a month if I’m lucky. Even then it’s only about his pleasure and not mine. He tries to force me into watching the porn that he likes, but refuses to watch anything that I might like. He’s played with my libido until I don’t even want sex from him anymore.

  82. J.P. says:

    My girlfriend and I have been in a strong, healthy relationship for 7 years now, despite the fact I regularly enjoy watching porn. After reading through the bulk of these comments and reflecting on my personal experiences, I’m convinced the majority of people saying “PORN RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP!” are actually overlooking the real reasons their relationship failed and are using porn as a scapegoat. They see a correlation between the failing relationship and the boyfriend watching porn, and mistake that for causation. I hope my story helps you look at porn differently.

    Let me start by saying I love my partner not just sexually, but as a person. If we could never have sex again I would still want to be with her. We connect on a level that makes us highly compatible, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have found such a person.

    That said, we can have sex, and do as frequently as possible given our busy schedules. When sex isn’t an option and I feel the need to release, I masturbate. Porn isn’t required for this, but it definitely makes it better.

    I have a very high sex drive, and am curious and experimental when it comes to sex. It’s been this way for me ever since I hit puberty. Even before that, as a young child I used to have fantasies about being tied up by the neighborhood girls!

    I also grew up in a strict Catholic household, where any form of sexuality was considered sinful. My parents were always loving, but never affectionate. I grew up thinking there was something wrong with me for having these urges. The guilt was so bad for me that it prevented me from even attempting to start a relationship with a girl until late in high school. I eventually severed my ties with organized religion, and have since learned to embrace my sexuality. It has made me a much more confident and satisfied person, which in turn has enabled me to become a loving partner.

    Sexual education at home for me was non-existant, and in my Catholic school it consisted of learning that boys have a penis, girls have a vagina, and doing anything before marriage (or even many things after marriage) is wrong. They didn’t teach us to put condoms on like they do in grade school these days. Hell, I didn’t even know that a foreskin was supposed to be able to roll back until I was 17! I found this out when a girl was giving me my first handjob, and it was extremely painful. I had developed a condition known as phimosis, which I was eventually able to fix with gradual stretching and masturbation. It took years to fully correct this way, but was preferrable to having an adult circumcision.

    Like most people who grow up in such a controlled environment and then “rebel” when they leave home, I went a little wild and crazy. Typical sex, drugs, and rock and roll. This was when I started watching porn obsessively. I was watching porn at this time because, A) I was terminally single, depressed about it, and needed something to give me release, and B) I found it highly educational.

    So porn became my sexual educator, and my natural curiosity combined with the ease of access on the Internet lead me to all sorts of crazy stuff. Some of it was sexy, some bland, some kinky, some disgusting. It taught me about myself; my likes and dislikes. I quickly discovered that the typical “built and well-hung guy banging a stripper” porn is not my thing. It’s fun in its own way, but lacks substance. What really drew my attention was the kinky bondage stuff. I started watching it because of my deeply rooted “being tied up” fantasies, and got more and more into it the more I watched. For one, the people involved are not the airheads you see in conventional porn. The models are typically intelluctal, and talk openly about their fantasies and experiences in pre/post-shoot interviews. It’s more about people exploring the limits of their sexuality.

    Hearing these people tell their stories opened my mind to new possibilities, and watching these women achieve mind-blowing multiple orgasms set a goal for me to achieve with my own bedroom performance. So I studied the techniques being used, focusing not on getting myself off (although that usually would follow), but on what was getting the woman on the screen off. This is something that’s lacking from conventional porn, as the girls are screaming and faking just to provide a performance, and the guys are more worried about not blocking the camera than actually pleasing the girl. It’s all smoke and mirrors.

    I can say with the utmost confidence that I am infinitely better in bed than I would be if I had never watched porn. When my current partner and I first started having sex she had never had multiple orgasms, never used sex toys, and had a negative opinion of porn. Flash forward seven years to today: she often loses track of how many times she’s climaxed when we’re “playing”, we have a large collection of toys we both enjoy, and although she doesn’t enjoy porn herself, she tolerates me enjoying it.

    She asked me in the early stages of us dating if I watch porn, and I was honest and said yes. She didn’t think too much of it, and honestly, I think she just forgot about it. Then one day, a few years into our relationship, she discovered the collection of videos on my hard drive. Being face to face with it is a bit different than just bringing it up in casual conversation, and so she confronted me about it and said it made her feel not wanted. This was how I explained myself…

    I assured her that she is TOTALLY wanted because she is a real person who I love and respect, and not just a fantasy. I then explained that, to me, sex and masturbation are very different.

    So many people are trapped in the mindset that, “if you’re getting laid, you shouldn’t need to jerk off!” In fact, masturbation has been proven by sexologists to produce more powerful orgasms than intercourse. This is because nobody can ever know your own body better than you. What masturbation lacks is the intense personal connection that people feel during sex. So sex could never fully replace masturbation for me, and vice versa. They are both highly enjoyable activities. She accepts my views because I was able to explain them to her rationally and respectfully. She still doesn’t watch porn, but she accepts that I enjoy it and it’s not causing her any real harm (provided I continue to keep her satisfied in the bedroom, which I do).

    To the people saying watching porn is the same as cheating, I highly disagree. The only similarity between the two is the jealousy they tend to invoke in people. Cheating can lead to the spread of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, and just flat out bad situations. This is why we, as a monogamous family-based society, don’t condone it. If there were no consequences to sex and it just felt really good, everybody would be fucking everybody. In comparison to adultery, porn is just a fantasy with enhanced visual and auditory stimuli. I have watched many pornos in my life, but I have never cheated.

    TLDR: Your boyfriend watching porn and ignoring you is probably a symptom of the struggling relationship, not the cause. Finding the cause is a much more difficult road to take than blaming the porn, but potentially could save your relationship.

  83. Lola says:

    Ok, can I just say, this article is not at all comforting. Let me tell you how it is!!!

    I used to be very offended about porn to the point it made me sick, so ladies I understand where you are coming from. Your boyfriend is watching another womans naked woman, it’s the same as him being in the same bedroom as your neighbor and watching her f*** someone while he jacks off in the room to it. I hate that pornstars are usually hot and it makes me jealous. I would say I’m pretty (I’m a model and a promo girl) but I don’t feel that I’m sexy, which porn stars are.  But at the end of the day the thing that gave me comfort is he is watching it, because of the sex acts, that turn him on. Some may be some things that his girlfriend wouldn’t do, And it’s something a girl could change IF she wanted to, but choose not to, it’s not that you can’t. So they aren’t more talented than any girl, just more “loose” haha. And with the looks, yes some are hot, but so are everyone of you. It’s not a matter of a guy trying to check out a hotter girl , it’s a matter of your man checking out another hot girl. But it can be intimidating don’t get be wrong. 

    But if your girlfriend is really depressed about it, yes it’s something the guy should stop. If I wanted to become a stripper, and my boyfriend was opposed to it to the point he was severely hurt, I would never do it. 

    Please don’t compare shopping and porn guys. Porn can leave the girl feeling insecure, jealous, betrayed, or disrespected. She can’t help how she feels about it, if it matters that much to her it matters. And you shouldn’t want to hurt her, whether you feel her feelings on porn are justified or not.   And don’t say it’s a need, because you can’t die without it, it’s something you want to do, and may feel a strong urge to “genetically or not” but you have self control. I’m not going to lie I have a really high sexual libido, and I like looking at hot men cause they are there, not because they are hotter than my man, but I can control myself. I don’t need to. We have sexual desires too, but it’s funny how a man can frequent stripclubs, screw countless women and so on, and say, it’s how god made me. Um no, females get really horny too, and We have self control because we don’t want to hurt others, or go against our morals that are put on us “as women”. 

    I dont care about porn anymore, i watch it, but i think its unfair they dont cater to women because most male porn stars are ugly . Its not fair, and sexist in a way because why cant we watch it IF we choose to and get the same benifits out of it Lastly the thing I have a problem with are strip clubs, over porn. Because there the men go there purely to focus on the individual womans body and get turned on by her body alone. And its more intimate because she’s not trying to please a camera she is trying to please your man.  And in some cases have her body grind up on him and dry hump him to stimulate his ***** now that’s cheating. 

  84. Rula says:

    These men are selfish, they don’t care about you or you’re feelings. Go out get yourselves a stack of calenders with hot guys David Beckham etc.. there are many hot guys with hot bodies hang them in your kitchen, bedroom wherever hell browse through them when he is around in bed next to you, the lounge wherever and watch the insecurities set in. He will then start thinking (when he does have sex with you) is she thinking of me or is she fantazing about her calender guys. Give them a taste of their own medicine!

  85. Doug says:

    Sometimes men watch porn to fantasize about women who do things their wives won’t do. Anal, BJ’s, kinky adventurous stuff. To be frank, a lot of women have issues when it comes to sex and their issues cause men to be unhappy about their sex life. BTW, I’m sure this goes both ways, but because the article is about men looking at porn, I addressed the issue from that stand point.

    I would also say, that although I have viewed porn in the past, I feel it is wrong and should not be considered as “good” or “healthy”. In fact, it can be an addiction that is quite harmful and can destroy lives. Men, if you talk to your wives about sex, be honest, you might be surprised.

  86. Jane says:

    They’re hurting your feelings lusting after theses women and when you tell them it hurts you they go behind your back. They are making you feel low and undesirable, well I agree, TURN THE TABLES! Get your magazines and calendars of HOT LOOKING GUYS WITH HOT HOT HOT LOOKING BODIES, drool over them when your man is around, in the lounge, lick your lips as you look at them, giggle to yourself, make your occasional MMM sounds, go to bed early on the odd occasion with a glass of wine, take your mags and calendars with you and leave him downstairs, he doesn’t want to have sex with you, well let these guys take your mind off him 🙂 Take them to work with you occasionally, let him see you bringing them back from work, let him catch you looking at them when gets home from work occasionally. Leave them lying around the house don’t hide them, let him see you are getting your pleasure from these guys.IT’S TIME TO MAKE THEM FEEL THAT THEY AIN’T ALL THAT! Even if they say nothing about it THEY WILL BE SEETHING WITH JEALOUSY inside and they will start to feel INSECURE!!!!!! Why? Because your attention is now diverted from them and shifted to these guys you are drooling over and fantazing about and lusting after. It is the only way they will understand how YOU are feeling NO amount of talking or crying will get through to them. You can be the sexiest beast on the planet, and try to please him the best way you can, they will still look at porn. They are selfish, well it’s your turn to be selfish, IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THEM ANYMORE IT’S ABOUT YOU! something will have to give, but have all the fun trying ladies 🙂 TURN THE TABLES LADIES DO IT NOW!!!!

  87. Alexis says:

    I’m the opposite, as a female, I LOVE watching porn!! I wouldn’t doubt that I watch porn more than my man. Much more. We’re very open, or I am at least, I’ll straight up tell him is I was watching porn, he never tells me. But he’s always offended by the fact that I watch porn. Not sure I understand his thoughts.

    If I have the day off and I’m horny, I spend the whole day watching porn, then he comes home to me wet and ready to go, what’s the problem?

    My guy may be a bit different, as he gets jealous when I simply high five another guy.

  88. chris says:

    I am a guy and i can tell you I love the feel of a woman’s hot, wet, pink, pussy. However, i do watch a lot of porn. What i love more than the feel of a pussy is an orgasm. Unfortunately, due to time constraints, i spank it A LOT. I can whack off all day and still want to have sex with my wife. Iwould probably whack off less if she gave me nice, long blowjobs until i finished every day, or even let me finish on her face, chest, etc.. Face it, ladies, our minds are filthier than a storm drain in New York City. Theres nothing we love more than a woman that would do anything we desire. And thus we watch porn because our women do not fill our desires completely, no matter what, because a good woman is most likely not a dirty little nympho that likes the smell, taste, etc. of orgasmic fluids; mainly male semen. That, my friends, is why most men watch porn. Not doing these “special” things in the sack literally drives us nuts. We want to cover you with our semen and use big breasts for putting something between them. No matter who the guy is, deep down he is a pervert. I hope this brought clarity and understanding that no matter what, unless you’re a dirty little nympho that will let him do ANYTHING, porn will march on. For a lot of women the same is true though.

  89. oooo says:

    I too went off my partner when I realised he did this. Especially since I got told off just for “looking” at another man every time we left the house! Just buy some tasteful (non grotesque) normal sex videos and do without that sort of hypocrtical “man.” Such a weight off the mind.

  90. Sandy says:

    You know what? I used to be one of those woman who was not bothered by my husband watching porn. When I was in my 20s, 30s & even 40s, I thought I was hotter than hell & better than any women in porn, so I never felt threatened by it, and didn’t care when my husband would go on a happy jacking to porn spree. Well, guess what? I am now 60, yes 60! And though I am still good looking for my age, I am not a 20 yr old porn star, so now I feel threatened, because I can’t compete. My self esteem is now suffering. In the past my mind said, “I’m better looking than all those porn stars”. Now my mind says, “He wants women who are younger & better looking than me”. Funny how things can change? Also, we have daughters who are older than the porn stars my husband is looking at, & grandchildren who are almost as old, and that makes me sick. I used to think it was ok & even sexy when my young husband looked at young porn stars. Now, I feel like my old man husband belongs on To Catch a Predator. Him looking at 20 yr olds makes me sick, like he’s a pedophile. And watching him masturbate to that, does not turn me on like it did when we were younger, it makes me want to projectile vomit. I now see him as a dirty old man lusting over younger women. A friend of mine said “Well, what do you want him to do, lust over other 60 yr olds? It doesn’t work that way.” So, when people have all sorts of different feelings on these sites. Age can be a major factor. I know it is for me. I used to love porn, but now I hate it, and it is definitely the age factor making the difference. It has changed my views, my self worth, and a whole host of other things that I can sense, if not able to talk about.

  91. Dan says:

    I’m an porn addict.

    30 yrs, married since 6 yrs, with two wonderful sons (21& 1 months old) and a lovely wife.

    About me:I cannot sit with a computer in front of me without thinking of the possibility of watching porn. The questions that cross my head are: who has access to this machine? does the browser have an option for private session? how loud may the sound be, whitout somebody takes notice of what I am whatching.

    Although you would not tell that about me if we meet on the street. I told this to one friend of mine and he did not want to believe it.

    The first reaction when I’ve read the article, I enjoyed it: finally I don’t need to have bad feelings.
    Reading the comments it became clear to me that the topic is more sensitive than I would think. In my subjective view, it is something I enjoy and also want to have granted as moraly correct.

    But reading the comments I incline to think that my wife is right and I am wrong. I also think that women are more objective than most man ( I refer to the ones who added a comment). Some women say they are ok with it, because this is how they can save their relationship. But none is enjoying it the way a man does.

    Porn is accessible and justifyable. But this way you can justify anything. With a bachelor in philosophy I’ve got to know that. There is a huge difference between art and porn. It all depends on the aim. Even in a movie, if you have an erotic scene, this is part of the story that has to be told. The aim is understanding a story ( a perspective about life if you want) and not a quickie.

    I use to tell my wife every time I watched porn. Sometimes it is just me informing her, and she replying ‘hmmm…’ on other ocassions we talk about it.

    I like porn, but I know it is hurting not only the ones I love, but also myself, like tobacco… but you still smoke.

    Wathing porn & mast. is something I do but really cannot boast about it. I don’t think people should smoke. Even if it is a good feeling for the moment.

    At the present date, it takes two hours and seventeen minutes to read all the coments. It is enough material to write a book with it. By the way if it is going to appear please inform us too 🙂

  92. Misho says:

    “woman’s hot, wet, pink, pussy.” “Iwould probably whack off less if she gave me nice, long blowjobs until i finished every day, or even let me finish on her face, chest, etc..” “because a good woman is most likely not a dirty little nympho that likes the smell, taste, etc. of orgasmic fluids; mainly male semen.”

    — these are just from one “normal”(?) comment above. From this alone, I can tell you that it’s not about jealousy or not feeling good enough, at least not for all women. It’s about the sheer disgustingness of the male attitude to sex. (I would question the motives of the comment, too, given the fact that he apparently has a wife). I know that my partner definitely doesn’t think this way.

    All people at some stage have watched porn – including women – I really don’t think this is the issue. Personally, I have more of a problem with the fake and over-dramatized, slimy, squelchy, squirtiness, coupled with the fact that porn is engaged in by complete strangers who frankly don’t give a SHIT about who it is they’re (if it weren’t for contraception) breeding with.

    Women do actually get excited seeing sensual, subtley arousing things, but I think being (instinctively) the carers of children, they don’t want to pick someone who’s into animalistic, orgy type pervertedness with a load of disrespectful, egotystical scumbags with boners, and women who are clearly pretending to be enjoying it. Women want men who look at sex as something to be respected. Not all men really are into that – they do all have a primitive instinct — this is not so damaging to humanity when he also has some intelligence, dignity, self respect and respect of women. Unfortunately a good portion of them are still so childish and grotesque, and think so little of sex that they share their material with other sick friends as if it’s just normal man’s conversation. Why even have a relationship if you think like this?

    There are certain things that remain factual – men do not like women – particularly women they are emotionally attached to – lusting over other men. These jealous men must feel ecstatic to see this sort of article, because it implies that it is only women who have such problems. This is completely false.

    I really think both sexes need some barriers whereby there is knowledge about what each expects. If a man wants to climax over other people, what is the point in having a relationship with someone?

    It’s not about “self control” or breaking free from “addiction” — it’s about the attitude. A man just isn’t desirable or worth keeping for a female if he thinks this way. This type of man probably doesn’t care anyway, for as long as there are actresses in porn videos who can do a good enough job of looking engaged.

  93. Misho says:

    “You must understand that men get bored fast, that is our nature, that is why we were made to mate with as many females and spread our gens. Why do you think the oldest job in the world was prostitution? Yes feel angry that your grasp on men is weak now:D”

    There’s another one:

    1. “Spreading your genes” e.g. impregnating lots of women, is why your parents probably didn’t know their genetic link.
    2. You are a probably just an unloved, unintelligent male slag.
    3. No woman wants a hold over a man like you anyway, due to your self centredness and disrespect.

    So, as far as most half-decent women are concerned, that’s cool “:D”

  94. Lidia says:

    My partner couldn’t understand why I have a problem with pornography until I told him this:” So you won’t mind if I will watch porn every night, and type BIG BLACK C*** to turn me on. You also won’t mind me imagining that big black c*** while having sex with you and even reaching orgasm while thinking you are someone else? Also, you won’t mind me comparing your thing with the penis of a big, handsome porn star? Oh, and honey, I just feel the need to try something new. I won’t cheat but as you look at other girls, can I please flirt and let other men look at me? ”
    My partner just turned WHITE and said: I would mind, very much. Could you please stop saying that. Just lets stop this conversation.

    Porn is the closest thing to cheating in my opinion. I feel like cheating him back, to be honest. In fact, last time I caught him, I went on in the club and danced all night while letting men touch me. It frustrates you, it makes you bitter, id DESTROYS the relationship.

    You coward, pathetic boys! Remain single then and f***as many women you want-no problem. But don’t deceive us! I have only one life, don’t want to waste it with a liar.

    And yes, I don’t let him watch porn. If he wants to leave me, he is most welcomed. But as long as I am hot-and I am- willing to do anything -and I am- and very sexual- even more than him- he will be grateful and aroused by me and me only. As I control myself, although sometimes bored by his lack of sexual skills, he must control himself too. Otherwise, an eye for an eye.

  95. sandra says:

    id rather just be a lesbian after hearing the way guys are! i just realized why my bf lost his hardness and couldnt finish me hes too busy thinking bout these nasty skanks and i just dont compare to them im guessing so im thru with da bs a woman would better understand me any day!!!

  96. Sara says:

    This has all been said before but I am going to say it again. Most of the women on here are not that upset by their man watching porn. Its the hiding of it and wanting to watch porn instead of being with their lady! I have realized that my boyfriend watches porn every time I am gone. I want sex with him all the time and am willing and want to do all the dirty nasty things that he does! He rarely has sex with me anymore no matter how hard I try to get him too, by telling me that he is so tired from work that he would rather sleep than have hours of sex! I tell him that I am happy just giving him a blow job or a hand job and he still declines, but no matter how tired he is he always has and hour or so to watch porn and jack off while I am gone! That shit does not makes sense. And do not tell me he watches it because he is bored! I even said I was willing to watch it with him and so then he doesn’t have a need to hide it from me and he didn’t really seem that into it. I am tired of being rejected by him for porn!

  97. Sara says:

    Why is it so hard for men to realize that most women do not care if you watch porn, we care if you watch it instead of being with us! These days my boyfriend hardly has sex with me no matter how much I try! We used to send dirty texts to each other all the time and nude pics and now all he does is say “yea” and moves on or completely ignores the text. I do not care that he watches porn but the fact that he tells me he is to tired for hours of sex and just wants to sleep, but no matter how tired he is he still has an hour or so to jack off to porn when I am gone! I even tell him that I am happy just giving him a blow job or jacking off but he still denies me! I even said that I would watch porn with him so he didn’t have to hide it from me and he said “Probably” and still hasn’t! I love doing all the dirty nasty things that he likes to do and still that is not enough! I am tired of him rejecting me for women on a fucking computer! It almost seems like I would have to make my own porn and put it on the internet in order for him to have any interest in me.

  98. Real Woman says:

    All of you guys who delude yourselves into thinking women don’t like variety too are stupid.If you neglect us for porn,we will cheat on you or break up with you.You can have your computer screens,and we will have the REAL SEX we are craving with other men.It’s pretty simple.

    A relationship is about sacrifice and the delayed self gratification.
    If you can’t do those things,then DON’T get in a relationship!
    Do you realize how selfish and immature you all sound saying you would never give up your precious porn? Like a bunch of heroin addicts defending their addictions.

    Please grow up and for Godsakes be men! Otherwise you will find yourselves COMPLETELY alone with only your computer screen for company.
    HOW PATHETIC.

  99. Vichei says:

    “Cheating” is a whole giant part of it. It’s an idiotic, outmoded, jungle-bred idiocy. If you can think as an individual instead of as a stupid, pathetic ape-beast you will realise that individuals are free to make and dissolve relationships at will; that they don’t “owe” you anything and that maybe you should take responsibility for your own happiness. Instead we have this idiotic bland encouragement of jealousy and envy, which are spiteful and degrading emotions far more than any bukkake fantasy your boyfriend has.

    Seriously, pathetic.

  100. bronwyn says:

    I’m 18 and female, and I actually can’t think of one female friend that I have that doesn’t watch porn. However it seems like almost everyone’s MOMS are against it. I think that the younger generations of women are beginning to embrace porn. Personally, I’ve never cared at all if my boyfriend watches porn, it just always seemed normal to me. Sometimes we watch it together. Of course he’s going to find other women attractive, but that doesn’t mean he’s comparing anyone.

  101. LMFAO says:

    “Porn is the closest thing to cheating in my opinion. I feel like cheating him back, to be honest. In fact, last time I caught him, I went on in the club and danced all night while letting men touch me. “…Hahahaha fkng awesome, that is what I am talking about, if the little bitches won’t put out or give you affection, find someone who will! Life is too short being miserable with a douche who is more into every other conch that goes by or pops up on the tv or computer, life is too short to waste with some moron who wants to sit and play with his balls while you are in the other room wanting and needing a man to put it on YOU.

    Men if you are not giving enough sex or affection because of porn you should worry BIG TIME. When you are denying your woman affection and sex over your pursuit of seeing and fantasizing over other women, your own woman becomes very lonely over time…very lonely.. and when she is out and some hot dude gives her the eye, she is more likely to let him approach her and make no mention of having a man, more likely to get butterflies over compliments or flirtiations some cute guy is paying her at work or school. Her own mind will start to wander to that guy friend who is always there for her, the hot coworker, the cute professor or classmate. And guess what? She might decide to let what is not being fulfilled at home be found elsewhere. Where normally she may not do these things if she was satisfied, she is now thinking it is really not so bad, after all, her man is not giving her what she needs, is spending so much of his time wanting other women and flirting with them. So enjoy not being there for your womans need for your own selfishness, JS don’t be surprised if it turns on you badly.

  102. LMFAO says:

    Men bottom line here, I am going to be brutally but completely honest as a woman… if you are not giving enough sex or affection because of porn you should worry BIG TIME. When you are denying your woman affection and sex over your pursuit of seeing and fantasizing over other women, your own woman becomes very lonely over time…very lonely.. and when she is out and some hot dude gives her the eye, she is more likely to let him approach her and make no mention of having a man, more likely to get butterflies over compliments or flirtiations some cute guy is paying her at work or school. Her own mind will start to wander to that guy friend who is always there for her, the hot coworker, the cute professor or classmate. And guess what? She might decide to let what is not being fulfilled at home be found elsewhere. Where normally she may not do these things if she was satisfied, she is now thinking it is really not so bad, after all, her man is not giving her what she needs, is spending so much of his time wanting other women and flirting with them. So enjoy not being there for your womans need for your own selfishness, JS don’t be surprised if it turns on you badly. Keep your woman satisfied and don’t neglect her.

  103. Ben says:

    Interesting discussion. I’m a man, I LOVE porn. I also LOVE my wife and we have great sex together (we’ve been together 30 years!). However, my sex drive is so much higher than hers and she has no problem with me watching porn if it satisfies me when she’s not in the mood,. I usually tell her that I’m going into the bedroom to whack off to my favourite porn movies – it turns me on to know she knows I am doing it and I love it when she walks in to find me having a great orgasm. She will often joke that she hopes I manage to squirt really hard, we have a quick kiss and cuddle before I get started. I need to masturbate at least three times a day. Wife knows exactly what I am doing , and actually I prefer it if she watches me masturbate. She will often bring me a cup of coffee and a biscuit half way through, and then give my dick a loving squeeze just before I cum. Then we have sex later and it is even better – I always make sure she has an orgasm. Hey it works for us!

  104. EE says:

    As Vichei and Misho say. This article is attracting both unevolved animal-like, tit groping men, together with really stupid, tasteless women with no self esteem. Quite funny really, since this type of man is usually the most jealous, and seeking unintelligent women who only aim to please them. Well we all need someone I suppose.

    (You do of course get the sort who want to watch their girlfriends with other men / women as well, just like in gangbangs and or other forms of voyeristic paraphilia, but really if this pisses you off as a woman involved you need to consider why you ever became involved).

    The apparently few men and women who do actually want a normal, healthy relationship that doesn’t secretly or openly allow commercialized, sick, weird sex, are usually not finding this sort of article….

    So the lesson is; use both your instinct and your brain; don’t aim to change anyone; get someone you really like, and throw who you don’t.

  105. Daphne says:

    I don’t understand how women can still believe in love after seing porn. What was considered deviant about two decades ago is now the norm and easily accessible. Boys are now constructing their sexuality through that. And you see men almost blaming their girlfriend for not doing things they would never imagine doing themselves. I think that men who love porn (as they so proudly claim) do not respect women; you just have to look at the state of contemporary internet porn to see it. I think porn is psychologically damaging to women. Women do not have to accept this kind of material under their roof. If that means staying single, then I chose single.

  106. Unhappy says:

    The men that watch porn grew up with it being easily accessible. Too easily. One man is enough for a woman. It’s only fair that one woman is enough for a man. Women give their Men everything. Even if we don’t want sex we still do it. What happens when you have tried literally everything with him? He will still want more. Porn doesn’t ruin relationships, the insensitive, double-standard, selfish men ruin relationships. They’re too busy fulfilling their selfish desires to think about how the woman he is supposed to love, respect, consider, understand and make happy’s possible insecurities or feelings. Why are we expected to change our views on porn, change our clothes and our hair and the way we have sex, but men can’t be asked to stop watching.porn? If we were gawking at huge dicks behind your back, you wouldn’t feel very secure. Stop constantly wishing for something more and appreciate what you have in front of you.You are the wife, and porn is the mistress. Men can’t have both. One woman to take care of you, feed you, clean for you, love you and over 1000 women to satisfy your gawking habit.
    We do everything for you, and you selfish pricks pay us back by making us feel bad. Double standards arent okay. Men want to do whatever they want and expect us to do as we are told.
    They want to fuck their woman and everybody elses. But we are faithful and just expect a bit of consideration. That’s not difficult.
    Women should just find a suitable mate to have successful offspring with, have the baby and raise it herself so the male can go spread his seed somewhere else. Then the women can have other women to support her emotional needs and nothing is complicated anymore.

  107. Unhappy says:

    If your desires to screw heaps of women and spread your seed were evolutionary, why arent all the women you’ve had sex with pregnant? Why dont you think about getting that pornstar pregnant? that IS what spreading your seed is. So its not that at all, thankyou. Women are wired to find the most muscular genetically perfect male and have his young. Why dont we go to the gym and find the hottest guy there and get ourselves pregnant? Then run back to you. You run to your porn for sex and back to your wife for love. Self control. You selfish men need to demonstrate it. Show your girl you love her by throwing away pointless videos and make your girl feel like she’s the only one. When you marry somebody you did it because they were the one. Watching porn says to her that she is one of many. Its a video. It’s not real. So its not so important that you cant give it up for your real wife. You aren’t hurting the porns feelings by doing that, I promise. Porn won’t miss you. Your wife will if she has to leave.

  108. Diane says:

    Men really need to imagine how it would make them feel if the woman they loved and adored looked at gorgeous men of all varieties every day and masturbated to fantasizing about them and lost most or all interest in you. You would be hurt and wonder why you’re even there anymore.

  109. disgusted says:

    I’m glad we now know as women what pleases men…I’m glad we now know “not to worry” because men have been doing this for ceenturies!!!! What about us! If we feel it makes us unconfortable then why are we the bad guys?!?! Every porn my man looks at is not me I will never be that and to think he looks at that more than me you could see where this makes us uncomforatble..well some of us.

  110. Mary says:

    bronwyn “However it seems like almost everyone’s MOMS are against it. I think that the younger generations of women are beginning to embrace porn. Personally, I’ve never cared at all if my boyfriend watches porn, it just always seemed normal to me. Sometimes we watch it together.”
    I felt much the same way when I got married 36 years ago aged 21. If, in the future, you unexpectedly discover your husband has been secretly masturbating to porn for most of your married life, although you had no objection to watching it together, you may feel differently. How would you feel if you discovered your father or grandfather masturbating whilst looking at girls younger than yourself? Would you feel comfortable having girlfriends to stay over?

  111. Tim says:

    Computer pornography is an appeal to the fantasy life of males. If we are to begin to understand it’s attraction we have to look at the nature of sexual fantasy.

    It seems to me that men and women, generally speaking, have different ways of fantasizing. Many women can and do fantasize about other ideal men and situations during the sex act while most guys usually are focused on the situation at hand. Most women fantasize primarily mentally and emotionally hence romantic novels are sold to females. Most men fantasize visually and physically and computer porn is frequented largely by males.

    When we talk of pornography here we are focusing on the physical and visual and therefore the fantasy life of men. The vast majority if not all males are attracted to sexually stimulating visual opportunities and most will take advantage of those opportunities to enjoy the feelings of sexual arousal that accompany them so far as moral and social restrictions will allow. These are passing male fantasies which have nothing to do with love and the value placed on someone in a real relationship. If, however, a female is with the male when that stimulus appears, the male most often will not let it be obvious to her that he has been stimulated by, for example a Victoria Secrets ad in a mall, precisely because he is, at least subconsciously, aware of the fact that the fantasy life of the female is an emotional stimulation and she would be hurt or angry with his fantasy.

    Carried over to computer porn, this principle sheds light on why woman generally are offended by it and why men generally try to hide their attraction to it and deny exploration of it. This attempt to protect the female partner from the hurt feelings is seen as deceptive and creat distrust and insecurity which weaken the relationship.

    Like any stimulant, men can become addicted to visual stimulation and women to mental (emotional) stimulation ie. novels and thought life. Either addiction can be destructive to a relationship over time if it impacts the needs and well being of the partner. When one of the partners is in pain as the result of the actions of the other, love and commitment require that the couple seek to resolve the issue for the sake of the relationship.

    Sexuality and fantasy is a complex issue when it comes to human beings. It involves mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, ethical, cultural and religious aspects. It also involves the differences between males and females. A good counselor or friend who has a sense of that complexity and a desire to preserve the relationship may be essential to resolution.

  112. Chris says:

    As a married guy, I watch porn and masturbate on occasion. Well, I masturbate frequently, but not always to porn. Hell I’ve masturbated FOR my wife before.

    Porn and masturbation has not decreased my desire for my wife in the slightest. In fact, when I masturbate when porn is not involved, I am thinking about her when I do so every time. EVERY time. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife, and I don’t consider it cheating. Chatting with camgirls I could see being borderline, but watching non-interactive porn is no different than watching a movie. It’s just an image on a screen. I have no interest whatsoever in having sex with any woman other than my wife (no, I really don’t). I’ll fantasize about a girl on the computer screen, but if you put me in a room with her I would politely decline any sexual advances she made.

    Porn is only a problem when the guy (or girl, no double standards here, thanks) is more interested in the porn than in being with his partner.

    To the women who were outraged over the article: Think about when your husband or boyfriend watches porn. Did he attempt to initiate sex with YOU earlier in the day? Did you tell him no, or worse, completely blow it off? The vast majority of the time, men who don’t habitually watch porn will do so when he wanted sex with YOU, and you denied it for whatever reason.

    When a woman wants sex with her husband, most of the time all she has to do is HINT that she is horny and her man will be all over her. Almost without fail.

    Not the same for men, when we want sex we have to do everything JUST right to make it happen. And there are no guidelines, what she wanted last time will probably not be what she wants this time, and she isn’t going to tell you that. She’s going to make you guess, and you only get ONE guess. Get it wrong and you’re gonna be jerking off instead.

    In a nutshell, when a man is horny and denied by his partner, he WILL turn elsewhere to satisfy it. The fact that he is turning to porn instead of another woman usually means that he still does love you.

    Emotionally speaking, men and women are not as different as we’d like to believe.

    Ladies: When your man says no to sex with you, do you feel hurt and unwanted?

    Well, guess what? Men feel the same way when you say no to them.

    To share a little bit: The other night I attempted to initiate sex with my wife. She flat out told me no in no uncertain terms. 2 hours later I found her masturbating. I was incredibly hurt by the thought that it wasn’t sex that she didn’t want, but sex with ME that she didn’t want. Her masturbating wasn’t what upset me, I’ve actually encouraged her to do so more. Her masturbating 2 hours after saying no to sex with me is what upset me. I was in the wrong in that situation for being upset. Turns out she was having trouble sleeping and decided to take my advice that I’d offered her previously. Thinking I was asleep, she took care of it herself. I was the jerk for getting mad.

    If your man is watching porn, stop and think about the last time he tried to initiate sex with you. If he hasn’t tried for a long time, maybe there IS a problem there. If he tries all the time and gets told no consistently, he’s only watching porn because he can’t have YOU.

  113. Pissed says:

    Saying that he compares me to those women is very bothersome. Confirmed my true fears. I just had a baby. And have never been so insecure in my life and knowing that kills me…

  114. Michelle says:

    Yeah, with most things you are right, but the thing about porn being gross for women–50% of my female friends watch porn, and the reason why I consider it to be a bit gross is not the naked bodies, but the perspective. Most porn is from a masculine point of view–I miss there those things I like in sex and it is full of those things I do not like. Maybe I have not seen the right kind yet. So perhaps women would be the same if there was more porn for them.
    And yes, most of my male friends do not confuse it with reality and watch it mostly when they are bored, but I know a few who do have problems and that is just bad, so from time to time I get a bit worried about porn. But generally it is not a big deal in most relationships in my opinion.
    And do not make stereotypes, not every men is so eager about seeing as many naked bodies as possible. But, well, most of them are 😀

  115. Jennay says:

    My girls…. Please. Go on the internet, type in free porn, and see what happens. This is available to everyone, and no longer costs money. Men will always watch porn. They enjoy it, get over it. Unless they are addicted to it (and no, beating off once a day does not count for addiction) it’s not like they are actually cheating on you, its their nature. They will love you either way, trust me. Just let them revel in their manhood.

    We get our periods, they watch porn. We all have something gross that the opposite sex doesn’t like talking about. Oh well. There’s nothing we can do about it.

    In fact, check it out yourself. It’s not so bad once you learn how to let loose.

  116. MH says:

    I hate that my husband watches porn. I think it’s disgusting and to me if you are looking at another woman or thinking about another woman it’s cheating. That being said, as much as I hate it I know he’s not going to stop. My big issue is that he has watched porn on his phone in bed with me beside him (he thought I was asleep. Has happened a few times). No I don’t like it but damn…can’t he at least get up and go away from me? That’s beyond rude. Not to mention very hurtful. I’m right there and he knows he can have it any time he wants it.

  117. Hosein says:

    Two questions:
    1) Why watching women body is pleasurable for men?
    2) Why women get naked in front of camera or on the net?
    Answers:
    The answer of the first question is its men`s basic nature.
    The answer of the second question is because most of those women do it for money needs and some for mental needs and some are forced. And I don’t think so that most of those women like to expose themselves just for men`s pleasure.
    I think if men stick to their basic needs which are tools, they will remain slaves of their basic needs.
    I think if we look at pornography, we want those women to do what they don’t want to do and I think we hurt them and also we hurt our wives if we have, and we hurt ourselves. So I think we should not see pornography. But how we can put it away if we are addicted? You know addiction is hard.
    A: By Love
    Q: How?
    A: First of all we should accept that we are addicted and we are hurting. Secondly we should accept that we cannot put it away alone. Thirdly we need to someone to love and be loved which is the only cure within our life, we talk to her about our problem, and we tell her that we will need her help. And if the LOVE come in to your life, then suddenly all the pains disappears. LOVE is the cure not for this problem but for all the human problems. I think all the things in our lives are tools to the final goal of life which is LOVE.
    It worked for me and I think it works for you. Try it at home.

  118. The nice guy says:

    Its obvious all the women with negitive comments on this will never understand this article. 90% of the women are gonna be really emotional about it and totally miss the meaning. Its always gonna be like this and to the 10% that arent completly run by there emotions probs to you.

  119. Just another guy says:

    Ok. I’ve been watching porn on-and-off most of my life. No, I don’t believe it’s cheating. However…it can EASILY become addicting and it can easily change your perception of sex to an unhealthy one, thereby degrading your performance with the woman you really want to please. Take it from me. And if you are brought up on alot of porn, you may never have a healthy perception of sex, so keep an eye on your sons. I suppose porn would be good if you’re woman is also a porn addict; then you both can have a healthy, unhealthy perception of sex and maybe it’ll work. Other than that, get yourself free of the grip of porn asap.

  120. Ohai says:

    It’s too complicated to talk about this subject. Just know, a majority of men are horny beings and were raised up on porn. Handle how you will. Value might be key here.

  121. The confused Wife says:

    I am 35 yrs old my husband is 38 I have been with him since im 15. We have 3 kids but through it all we have had a great sex life all these years. up until the last few months he has been watching cams on a website called myfreecams, and really got to know a few women and goes on EVERY night while I am sleeping, I have asked him about it and he said he made friends on there and he talks to guys on there and they joke and talk with the girls on the cam. But he has pics on his cell of the girls from the cams and he even goes on after having made love to me , It looks as though he is addicted , and now the last month he has been having problems with ED. which I have been researching it could be many things, which he has been to the dr about , he has to do blood work but it also said it can be porn induced ED, because of watching cams, porn ETC that can cause ED in the bedroom with their spouse. I have been feeling so depressed and confused, I have told him how I feel and he tells me he isn’t do anything wrong , That they are having fun conversation. so I told him I joined a male cam to see if it would bother him and it didnt, he says be careful its addicting. WTF… He tells me He loves me and im his baby girl and he is still crazy about me but why does he have ED with me now and stay up all night every night with this cam bull crap. I need to know if its me or not. I am so down and feel angry. and I dont know what else to do, He is making me seem like I am wrong for feeling this way that he is not doing anything wrong. and I am insecure.. I feel like he is trying to talk his way out of it. I feel like I am second best and he lost interest in me. Can someone give me some kind of guidance?

  122. Colette says:

    This article is very ignorant. When you said that guys would be turned on if their girlfriends were watching porn, all I could think was, “Yeah right, they would probably feel cheapened and insecure just like girls do.” So, a girl watching a naked guy and comparing that guy to their boyfriend is no big deal?

    I don’t think porn is the worst thing a guy could do, but your article screams “misogyny.” You’re saying it’s OK for guys to watch porn because they have all these blazing curiosities that apparently they can’t help but divulge in? What if women rationalized their porn use like this? “Women just want to see all kinds of penises. The bigger the better!” Yeah, their boyfriend is going to feel secure. That’s a way to assure your significant other that they are #1 in your book.

    If you think you made any girls feel better by writing this, then you’re wrong. You not only demeaned girls but you demeaned guys too. They are not robots; they do not make the same decisions, and they do not all think like you do. I’m tired of people saying, “Oh, that’s just what guys do.” Can we PLEASE evolve as a race and stop grouping everybody into these stupid categories? I realize men and women do have stark differences that cannot be denied, but stop generalizing. It’s irritating and misleading.

  123. Colette says:

    P.S. In regards to SteveLA’s comment, get help. You need it.

  124. Jess says:

    Ok. This article is completely one sided. If the man doesn’t think porn is cheating, your saying its harmless??This is only true if the women ALSO doesn’t think it’s cheating. If the woman thinks her man pleasuring himself to other women is cheating, then SHE FEELS CHEATED ON just as much as if he pleasured himself to a live naked women in their bedroom- this DOES cause problems.
    BOTH people in the relationship have to feel the same way for there to be no problems.

  125. Joe says:

    women should take into consideration the fact. That if they owned up to their partners sexual needs, they wouldn’t have a reason to watch porn. Some guys do it after being denied of sex. If you really want him to stop, stop telling him no.

  126. Katrina says:

    Type in – is porn cheating?
    Click on Dr Phil.
    What a disappointment the human race must be to our creator.
    What happened to morals and virtues?
    If all men were like this then it would mean the end of our race, all future generations would be flushed down the toilet or wherever u squirt them…
    If men are only suppose to spread seed, then when does a boy have a father to teach him how to be a man and a little girl a daddy, whose qualities she will look for in a man when she’s grown?
    Maybe this is modern day genocide, breeding out the weak, those of u that are to weak to resist these temptations, can no longer please a women & so don’t pass on your genes…

  127. Katrina says:

    Allot of double standards here.
    We aren’t the only ones who don’t always want it, are to tired.
    But we don’t go and masterbate instead.Its like when u crave something, the craving passes after awhile… A little will power. Jeez!
    Then when u do its intensified, like waiting for christmas…
    Opening pressies early just ain’t as thrilling, build the suspense…

  128. krista says:

    I think this is just another way for a guy to prove a point or solidify the fact that porn is ok. when in fact it is not. every man will always go back to the caveman days. we are not cavemen or women anymore. it may be in our instincts but before porn came along there were alot of men who actually thought seeing another woman naked was indecent and morally wrong. that is a mans cross to bear. they have to fight those instincts all their lives as well as a woman has to be a woman and maybe bear children and worry about every stupid little thing for their whole lives. i will not give into this. it is not ok for committed men as well as single men to watch porn. men have been trying for years to make this ok just so they can do it. it is not ok and never will be. women no better. it makes us feel like less than nothing when the one we love the most watches it or lust after another woman regardless of if its fake or not. do not try to tell us that what we women are feeling is wrong when it is not. Womens intuituion is something men will never know about or understand.

  129. kj says:

    to stevela 6/2/12 Did you tell your wife before you married her what you expected in sex? If not, this problem is your problem. If you did and she said yes, then it is her problem. If she said no, then you should not have married her. Either way, she deserves better and you need a prostitute. Prostitutes will do whatever you pay them to do. Been through this myself. Got tired of the bitching and the porn. Instead of appreciating the things I did in and out of the bedroom, he complained about what I wouldn’t do. If he had told me in the beginning that he wanted porn sex, I would not have dated him. I said goodbye and hope you find what you need most in life. It has been 7 years and he is still alone. Too bad too sad. Most women who like what you like are trash. They are not good company outside the bedroom. Maybe you should not be married.

  130. Just another guy says:

    Wow! I think “Real Woman” puts it into clearer perspective for us. I’m a good catch (if I do say so myself) and could still see myself hangin with my computer screen rather than the one I’d like to be with if I keep hangin in my office that extra hour or so at night rather than wrapping up the long work day. I’m don. Thanks Real Woman 🙂

  131. Sarah says:

    Oh, I forgot to say that impressions you take in visually have much more impact on you than reading a text.

  132. Sarah says:

    Honestly guys, it is so ridiculous (!) to compare porn to books! (for the record, i hate romantic novels)
    These are two different things which cannot be compared, impressions you take in visually have much more impact on you than reading a text.
    Another thing which confuses me, is that it is always said that men are more visual. I can’t speak for all the ladies out there, but the women I know (including myself) are visual, too. Many women are very sexual and sometimes they undress guys with their eyes and when they see someone they consider hot, they have sexual fantasies.
    I just wanted to say that first because most men think that women always need romance befor having sex. Guys, that is bullshit! Women are also visual and often want to have sex just for sex and nothing else!

    To the next point.
    As a female used to look at porn, USED!
    I accidently got confronted with hardcore porn at the age of 13 (looking backwards it was way to early) and at the age of 16 I watched porn regularly.
    Not long ago I had to realize that porn consumption had influenced me very negatively and I didn’t realize it for quite a while.
    Many people say porn is not a big deal, open your eyes people, it is. It influences our sex life, our sense for attractiveness and what we find arousing.
    Porn is extreme, it shows giant breast, giant cocks, a woman who enjoys hurtful things, a man who never needs a break and can last for hours.
    The thing is we watch porn and usally we mastrubate. The brain links the sense of pleasure that is realeased by the orgasm to the pictures you have seen, new synapses are being built in your brain. The more often you do the same, the stronger the synapses get.
    Have you ever asked yourself why suddenly many man like abnormally huge “bigger than a head” breasts and are often obsessed with them (i mean really obsessed)? Or why you think lips of the size of two sausages are attractive? Why do some men experience pleasure in cumming all over a woman’s face or when they are pounding their parts in a woman’s ass? Well, it is mainly because these men watch to much porn and your brain has linked these things
    I have to say that I think most porn stars (female and male) don’t look very appealing, everything about their bodies is just “over the top”, I don’t want a cock that has the thickness of my arm and I don’t find it attractive if a woman has so much cleavage that she seems to tilt forwards every second.
    I just want you to lean back and think about how porn has influenced you. I realized that it messed with my mind and I didn’t want this influence in my life any time longer. That is one of the two reasons I stoped watching it.

    The second reason is that (with growing older) I became aware of the fact that porn industry is one of the misantrophic industries ever. This buisness goes hand in hand with violence, drugs and human trafficking. You never know if this woman you are getting off to is doing this voluntary, you NEVER know (There is only a very, very small percentage of women who chose this way of their own free will.)
    I couldn’t live with (even passively) supporting such an industry, so I stoped watching it.

    I actually read an article from a former porn actress who quit this buisness, read it yourself:

    covenanteyes.com/2008/10/29/ex-porn-star-tells-the-truth-part-2/

    I don’t want to be a moralizer, you people are free to do anything you like. I don’t judge you, but you have to become aware of the fact that everything ypou watch, consume or read influences you and one should always be careful and critcal about what someone sees, reads or hears.

    Oh and I’m sorry for spelling/grammar errors, English is not my Native language and I typed very quickly 🙂

  133. Me says:

    Why is the always the woman who has to do the extra work for the man? Going out and buying toys, outfits, etc etc, What about the man? Do any of the men here who think it’s because the ‘woman’ isn’t keeping up with her ‘duties’ that maybe, just maybe, she isn’t attracted to the man anymore? Maybe it’s because he’s gained 50 lbs? Seriously, what woman would be attracted to a man who likes to sit at his computer and have to move his beer gut out of the way to jack off to porn?
    And total bullshit to the ‘it’s from the caveman days’. This is 2013 people. Long from the days when males used to just mate with the females for making babies. We are all born with free will, we make personal choices every day, from the second we get up to the second we go to bed. Everything we do is a personal choice. We could all decide to do horrible things every single day of our lives (rob banks, murder, stealing, cheating, the list goes on) but we don’t because we know we will have to suffer the consequences. We don’t want to hurt the people we love, be taken away from them, lose our jobs, our life. So the same thing can be applied to. Men (and women) can decided to NOT watch porn, especially if their partners have vocally expressed hurt over this. By doing this after you KNOW it’s going to hurt your spouse, which in turn could make her leave you, taking your kids, and everything else that comes with a split, HOW IS IT WORTH IT? Jacking off to strange women on a computer is worth all that? You can’t make that personal choice to NOT hurt the one you love???

    Is it that hard, seriously?????

  134. Susannah says:

    Men watching porn because of variety? Excuse me most of them are the same bleached blondes, fake breasts, eyelashes, tanning beds, fake nails……..

    Where is variety?

  135. joe says:

    The reality is, porn puts the man back in control over his life. When men were kings we were allowed to have as many wives as we wanted and no one chastised us. the only reason why it became important to have one wife and look at only one women is just one word. lol. “feminism” When women are in control the man has to do what she wants.

  136. Angus says:

    What’s it your business what I look at or think about when stroke my hog? If you’re worried maybe it’s because you’re insecure. Try spreading it more often and outside of the bedroom as well. If that doesn’t work, then you have a problem.

  137. krista says:

    I am glad to see most of the women here are on the same page. If my husband is watching porn and it hurts me then he probably shouldnt to it. Of course the men on here would respond with blunk, sarcastic and primitive comments to justify watching porn is ok and we need to get over it. I was very secure about myself and I had sex with my husband alot. Then I found out about him watching porn and now I am insecure and dont trust him. If i dont want to have sex with him it is because i am not secure about myself anymore in bed. all i can think about is who he jacked off to before he gets into bed with me and who he is imagining having sex with while he is having sex with me. It is cheating to me. Its the same as if he had a one night stand or had sex with a prostitute. Men say there is no emotion involved when they have sex with a stranger. welll isnt it the same when they jack off to porn. the end result is the same. they get off. get up and do whatever they do after sex.

  138. John says:

    One last thing: when used moderately, porn can be viewed as a way of fantasizing. Fantasies are rarely viewed as cheating, and so it goes for porn (when it’s not an ill-addiction of course!).

  139. John says:

    PS: Very nice comment Sarah (December 2012), very insightful.

  140. John says:

    Damn, my main comment was deleted, probably because of the link.

    To summary, I said that another argument in favor of online porn is that it can relieve the sexual tension and duty of the partner if both partners don’t have the same needs (one partner has lower needs than the other one).

    Anyway, online porn addiction is a recognized illness in the DSM IV, and is probably caused by the Coolidge effect. So if your partner is avoid sexual intercourse with you to go watch online porn, they should seek medical advice to help. You can also point them to online litterature which can be quite helpful, like “yourbrainonporn” website (google it and the Coolidge effect).

  141. Boom says:

    Everybody masterbates. Men and Women. All you women need to quit bitching. If we can read 50 shades of Grey, watch Magic Mike and the likes, men can watch naked women. Nobody masterbates without a stimulus!! Get over it.

  142. Robert says:

    Look, men get tired of their sexual partner, it just happens. The whole point and fun of sex is having it with new people, going out and meeting someone and playing the whole courting game and getting laid, it isn’t a difficult concept to grasp.
    Porn allows you to deal with the fact that you’re tired of a woman without having to go out or your way and say “hey, the sex was nice, peace” If anything porn doesn’t cause me to withhold sex from a partner, it allows me to get some freshness and creativity it my sex life, and then sleeping with my partner isn’t a chore, it is like going back to a past flame, it is familiar, but not so damn boring.

  143. Mari says:

    Clearly, this is a polarizing issue. I think porn is one of those things where the phrase “to each their own” would aptly apply. But here’s my take on it:

    Before my boyfriend and I lived together, I didn’t care if he watched porn. Really, I didn’t really trouble myself with the thought. I myself looked at it from time to time. However, when we moved in together, I got pissed when I found out he was still watching it. I get that men need to release sexual tension and that they don’t typically have as good an imagination as women. But that’s still a pathetic excuse for needing to look at pictures/videos of naked women. I consider it akin to cheating. If you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t need to see anyone else naked, unless you’re a couple that doesn’t care or even enjoys watching it together. Some couples do this which is fine; whatever adds zest to your sex life. Not in my relationship though. I explained my feelings to my boyfriend and he fully understood where I was coming from, even though he initially had no idea he was doing anything wrong. And while I was thinking “How the hell do you NOT think it’s inconsiderate to jerk off to other women while I’m always open to sex?!”, I know this is largely a product of our society, e.g., “Guys just look at porn”. I don’t agree with that statement…it’s like saying “women are just better at cooking or cleaning” or “men just aren’t made to be homemakers”. It’s ignorant and it does nothing to stimulate discussion.

    If you’re THAT bored in your relationship, then save that person the humiliation and move on. And if, as some have stated, sex gets boring after being with the same person for years…maybe you need to step it up? And being in a long marriage is no excuse…you knew you were going to be having sex with the same person forever when you tied the knot.

    While I’m fully aware that looking at porn doesn’t mean my boyfriend isn’t interested in me and doesn’t love me, I find it inconsiderate and even a bit unfaithful. I made it clear that if I’m not enough for him, then he can find someone else.

  144. Mary says:

    Mari, I agree with everything you have written. I think one reason that a lot women regard their partners looking at porn as being unfaithful is because we don’t objectify women in the same way. To a lot of men they just see naked body parts which quickly turns them on and they can have quick sexual satisfaction. My husband looked at me blankly when I asked how did he think these girls in porn felt, were they enjoying it or just acting etc.? Women see the “body parts” as other very real women either sadly forced into the porn industry by circumstances beyond their control, or as prositiutes intent on enticing their men away from them.

    Robert – Maybe men who find their partners sexually “damn boring” need to take a long look in the mirror, maybe they are boring too, and then decide to grow up and either make the effort to spice up their boring sex lives, there are plenty of good books on the subject, porn is not a good educator on how to turn most women on, far from it. Or else they need to decide monogamy is not for them and split up from their partner so they can go on to enjoy multiple sexual partners.

  145. kayla says:

    John september 05 marry me!:)

  146. Jessica says:

    The fact that most men are into porn today is one of the reasons why I have just given up any struggle to see them as human beings when they clearly cannot return the favor. I’ve divorced myself emotionally from them and allow them into my life for practical reasons- lifting things, paying for things, going somewhere to get out of the house, etc. But I will never be fooled again into thinking that they are people like us. They lack empathy for women to a profound degree and thus are only of any value when they are being directly useful.

  147. Babygirl says:

    My guy doesn’t watch porn, we’ve been extremely open about this from the start. If he did, I would dump him instantly; I can do better than that.

    Ladiesout here: don’t let men tell you it’s normal and you can’t do anything about it, it’s absolutely not true. If he won’t stop watching porn for you, i promise he is not worth your time 🙂

  148. Alicia says:

    Tracy- and anyone who thinks that some women don’t want a variety of men is in denial. I have a wonderful, handsome hubby (married 20 yrs) and 3 kids. I love my hubby like crazy. He is practically the perfect man- handsome, kind, great dad, does his share of cooking and housework, etc. Our sex life is awesome, and we have it several times a week, and act out each other’s fantasies (role playing). But often when I see a good looking guy (especially if he is younger than me) I think about what it might be like to have sex with him- and maybe a threesome if the guy walking near him is hot- and sometimes also fantasize about the guys I am attracted to when I am having sex with my hubby. Do I feel guilty? Nope. He is probably doing the same type of thing. Would I actually do it- have sex with someone other than my hubby? No freakin’ way. But some of you men- seriously- stop beating your chest and thinking your women would never feel the same way. Some of us women like variety too. It can get boring for us too to have sex with the same man over and over, even though we love him. I think it’s just human nature.

  149. okay? says:

    I read a lot of other people’s comments and I just can’t get over some of them.

    Porn is not a normal thing, it is not normal for us to sit in front of a screen and watch other humans go at it with each other. I don’t know why anyone would think that it’s even remotely normal? Just because it makes you feel good? Yes, it may be becoming a normal thing, but it cetainly isn’t a normal thing. I know we’re not animals, but do you see animals watching other animals go at it? No, because it’s not normal.

    The reason people are so attracted to porn is because it releases a lot of dopamine, the same body chemical that doing certain drugs or eating certain bad foods creates. It’s extremely addicting, and just like doing drugs and eating all that super sugary stuff, porn is not good for you. It sure feels good, but it really isn’t.

    When you contentiously watch porn you are doing a lot of weird things to your brain. You’re becoming addicted to watching it because it’s creating so much dopamine and your body wants more and more and more, the same with doing drugs.

    I’ve seen a few guys and women say they’ve replaced sex with their partner with porn. That’s because your partner doesn’t produce the same dopamine as porn does, and eventually your brain doesn’t even hardly find other women or your partner sexually attractive anymore. Sure, you’ll find other woman and your partner attractive, but you will always prefer to have sex with yourself at your computer because it feels so much better.

    A lot of people don’t realize what porn really does to the brain, it really is like a drug addiction and I urge anyone who thinks otherwise to look up the studies on it.

    You’re cutting out a lot of human interaction and intimacy when you watch porn, and I’m sure you’re probably hurting your significant other if you’ve gotten to that stage. Some men are lucky enough to not be too affected by porn and can still maintain a healthy relationship whilst watching, but it’s a fact that most men cannot sustain both a porn habit and a healthy relationship. You’re self serving yourself in front of a computer, you are not having any real intimacy or emotional attachment, and your brain starts to get used to that and then why would you really need to connect with another human being when you have everything you think you need in front of you on a screen?

    I’m not saying any of this for moral reasons, or god reasons. I’m saying this because it’s a fact that porn really does affect your brain, and it affects many many relationships, and it’s disturbing to see that a lot of people think that all of that stimulation doesn’t have any affect on you as a person.

    Now this is obviously an extreme case, but I bet it’s a lot more common than you would think, but… I read an article the other day on Reddit. A man was asking Redditers for help because he started watching porn at a young age, and he needed more and more things to get him going because the normal porn watching just wasn’t getting his dopamine going like it used to, and eventually he started getting into harder and more disturbing porn and eventually it lead him to watching rape and child pornography.

    That’s just one example of what habitual porn habits can lead to if you’re not careful. I’m not saying it happens a lot and I’m not saying anyone here will get as bad as this guy did, but you all should really look up the affects of a brain on porn and you’ll see why it’s not as normal as you all seem to think it is.

  150. Diana says:

    I’m a married female. In my 50s. fortunately had some acupuncture which has reinbigorated my sexual channels and libido.
    i have used porn recently precisely for the same reasons given in the article. .. visual, variety, being alone, bored, fantasy spice BUT the difference is the TYPE of porn and erotic content. Most porn is aimed at men’s gratification, neanderthal – zooming in on what turns men on. The men are soo ugly, fat, old or ridiculously exaggerated “specimens” . The action is literal and visceral, like watching prize farm animals slamming away… and all female gratification and pleasure is just so badly faked. Women are portrayed as objects/ meat/ cum bags and the acts are, in the main, degrading and if not painful, not genuinely pleasirable. Male directed porn is a huge turn off for the vast majority of women. It is really, really ugly…… As for not fulfilling a husbands fantasies – if men want to put their penis into an anus how would you feel of your wife asked you to oblige taking it up the arse with her wearing a strap-on? which is what i asked my husband when he suggested trying it with me out of curiosity…. (this was when Internet porn was beginning to be an iinfluence re. the general acceptance of this practice between hetero couples. (I also suggested divorce and he try a gay life style if if really thought anal penetration would be that great)…..
    I would recommend anyone interested searching ‘your brain on porn’ as mentioned for those blind to the fact that they are sad porn addicts and those unaware of the risks and effects of over indulgence of the unhealthy kind of erotic stimulus. Its very much like nutrition, food is analogous to sex. Foods we are primaly programmed to cosume in case of famine, typically fats and sugars can cause chemical spikes and become as addictive as cocaine due to the dopamine peaks. We are in a time of over-abundance of unhealthy amounts and confections of food and sex(porn). Addictive junk food diets cause chronic ill health just like trashy, female-degrading porn causes psychological, emotional and social damage. This over-abundance is an all pervasive social physical and mental health problem
    …. I also have to wonder at these guys beating off and copulating so many times a day. … what hopelessly unproductive and self-indulgent wasted lives you seem to lead. Recent research into acupuncture shows that many males who over indulge in semen discharge end up with kidney and prostate problems in later life. I feel very sad for the women who tolerate their partners lack of understanding. Have the courage to split and get a really good lawyer to compensate your contribution to his life. The sad fact is women are still financially worse off in later life, and lower earners before pesionable age. .. this accounts for the reason the porn industry rewards women better than other unqualified but honest work and why it caters only for male consumption.
    THIS ARTICLE IS EXECRABLY DUMB.

  151. Louise says:

    i understand the article. It makes sense but it doesn’t stop it hurting sometimes! Especially when we get rejected and like someone else said it might be less stressful for them but doesn’t that make it lazy and unfair that our needs get neglected in the process. I’m not against porn only when I’m neglected. When I feel neglected, is when my eyes start wandering and thinking of other men to satisfy me. Even though I would never cheat. It’s because I know another man would satisfy me when my partner isn’t.

  152. Phila91 says:

    I know that youre trying to give a positive view on this but some males are just plain sick and this is BS. Not all women experience it this way. Men look at it cuz theyre not satisfied with their woman in bed and because theyre not satisfied enough with how their woman looks. They always want more and more and are never satisfied. Women can do it but men cant. I wish there were some other beings who we could better connect with and be compatible with

  153. Somebody out there says:

    That’s why I don’t worry about being faithful to men, or my husband. They’re so obsessed with other women, and tired of me, so I figure I should go out and find guys who find me interesting. Now, it doesn’t mean I sleep with tons of other guys, but I do date and maybe will have an affair. My needs – women’s needs – are different. It’s not just looking but it’s the emotional connection, so women – even though some of us do like porn – we will never get off on porn the same way a guy does. It’s simply not enough, so if a guy gets to have his needs met, and is always satisfied by porn, then I deserve some satisfaction, too. It’s the trade off, and if I ever get close to really having an affair, I will approach him, once again, about open marriage. I’ve already done it but it seems he prefers porn to real pussy. Either way, I don’t see that I should be mentally faithful if he isn’t, and letting guys take me is definitely mentally unfaithful but not the same as sex. why should guys get all the fun? Thankfully, I’m not the only one who feels this way: many of my female friends do. Men of course disagree because it’s easy to be a hypocrite.

  154. emily says:

    Blah,blah,blah!!! So, my spouse said
    … porn is OK, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you,its not cheating, its your fault, men are hardwired, all men do it, u should do it too. This is what I think. Porn is not OK, this is not OK . To say all men do it because they are hardwired is a crappy excuse, cheater head! Lame!!! My fault, no sir , u answer to God on your own about this one, u ain’t gonna drag me to hell too, so to speak. Sad to say but I’m not so sure u do love me. To b quite frank, I don’t believe so. U have betrayed me. I now wonder if I love you like I am supposed to. My faith in the male sex has been CRUSHED. Its a good thing u wanna flog the dolphin cause I don’t. People help!!! Some days it is hard not to despise everyone. Not only have I lost faith in men because of this but really have lost faith in all people

  155. shelley says:

    you know guys, reading these comments makes me think love is well and truly dead on it’s feet – good thing i’m single, why should i pair up, followed by mating, cranking out numerous sprogs and then divorcing?! screw you guys – i’ll stick to being by myself ( cats are better company)

  156. ariel says:

    My boyfriend claims to have a low sex drive but looks at naked pics daily and threw out the day on his phone. He does jerk off just looks. I’m so confused about it. Jealous yes. I have had three kids so my body isn’t airbrush beautiful but I and pretty and I feel some what sexy. But that’s not the point. He says he has a low sex drive and I have a high sex drive. But why look at it all day threw out the day like that. I’m almost discusted by the fact he looks so much and yes he lies or sneaks around. BC he does it on his phone and has it passcode protected but I know the code. And look from time to time and he looks any chance he has alone.help I’m so confused on what to do.just deal or leave.

  157. Wow says:

    This is disgusting. If your really adore your partner you should be satisfied with her/him only. and you definitely wouldn’t lie and be sneaky and go behind their backs and jerk off and create all of these distrust and security issues. This is common sense really. There are mature men in the world that realize that porn is degrading & harmful & refrain from it. Not all men are sexist and immature enough to write an article about a sad excuse for being unable to control themselves. Oh, and there is proven scientific evidence that porn is unhealthy for a human beings and also harmful for relationships. It is documentary called “Adult Entertainment: Disrobing an American Idol. I would never, never date a man that watched porn. Never.

  158. Amy K says:

    Men are so incredibly toxic. When I’m around one or more of them for any length of time, with their creepy attitudes and habits, I feel the need to detox. I don’t know if they’ve ever been normal and healthy, but they aren’t any more.

  159. Rick says:

    Ladies ladies… calm your tits. Here’s something you’ll never understand: we men are hornier than you, biology facts 101. Also, we like variety in our pussy. Fucking the same chick over and over gets boring. Men are naturally more polygomous than women. We are wired to spread our seed across the globe.

    If you think porn is cheating you’re obviously retarded. Watching porn is a masturbation aid, and that’s it. Your “man” is not going to go out and fuck porn stars. It’s honestly pathetic how you actually get jealous of a guy watching porn, it’s a fucking fantasy you dumb cunt! Do your job and take care of your man and please him and give him blow jobs on the daily and and chances are he won’t look at porn much anyway. And if he does, maybe you can watch it with him or maybe you don’t like it and you should respect his man-time anyway. Do you watch shit on TV he doesn’t like? Same idea. He probably doesn’t want to watch the stupid drama shit like Oprah or Basketball Wives or whatever-the-fuck you watch. Take some goddamn responsibility if your relationship is going south and stop blaming it on factors outside your control (like whether the guy watches porn). Instead of bitching and moaning, women need to adapt to the realities of modern times. Most guys watch porn, so deal with it… or become a lesbian.

  160. Mary says:

    After reading your post I would think many “pathetic” “retarded” “dumb cunts” with itchy “tits” are beginning to find a lesbian life-style very appealing, meanwhile polygomous men such as yourself can “spread their seed” by masturbating watching porn stars!

    I hope lots of young women have the opportunity to read your post and ask themselves if their “man” could have the online name of Rick before they make the mistake of moving in with him, when they would be expected to “Do your job and take care of your man and please him and give him blow jobs on the daily” not forgetting to respect his “man-time”.

  161. Nek says:

    I’m 26 my husband 39.

    I came to my senses and told him that if I wasn’t enough for him in every way possible then he wasn’t for me. And I told him that I wanted an open marriage. I don’t want to waste my youth and happiness on something that isn’t there, respect. Him watching female robots getting fucked only made me want to stray and find out what I was missing in the world sexually and to get the sexual attention from others because it made me feel not good enough. So we can either be even on all levels of our relationship or non at all. He said he would meet me half way.

  162. Kristina says:

    I consider porn cheating. I know my guy watches it but hes smart enough not to go on about it. He works out of town which guarantees hes watching it.

    I would have no problem having protected sex with another guy knowing my bf watches porn. (although i haven’t yet). Cheating is cheating, and if all guys watch then why break up with this guy?

    I’d rather we both be loyal to each other, I’m a hottie, but if he feels the need to see other women naked, then I will delight in sharing my sexy bod with someone else. Fair is fair, and cheating is cheating.

  163. bridg says:

    wow, thank God for most of the comments here. I was worried there for a moment. It seems that many people have sense after all. Well I did not read all the comments (wish I had the time to, they look interesting). This article was written be a man, just like the porn. no one is saying that it isn’t ‘natural’ for men (and this woman too) to watch porn, we’re just saying that it’s possible to evolve as a species and resist the temptation to push the huge paleolithic button on the internet that says PORN IS OK guys, it’s not cheating as long as you don’t touch!

    I asked my hubby, “if porn is ok because it doesn’t ‘mean anything’ then i’ll go and sleep with “so and so”, because he doesn’t mean anything to me.

    Men have made the double standards that we all live with.

    Men’s number one need is for sexual fulfillment; women’s is to be your number one.

    YOU WONDER why we stop having sex with you?
    STOP watching other naked women on the internet.

  164. chris hendrix says:

    Porn never ruined a relationship. He’s just tired of sex with you. Its boring. Been there –done that. Your man is physically wired to want to have sex with many different women. That is a biological fact. He looks at porn to try and fill that need. If he’s not sleeping with you its not because of the porn- its because he’s had you so many times, the thrill of the hunt is gone. A man is biologically built to want different women. Sorry, its a fact. Monogamy is a relatively recent phenomonom. (started by men as form of property ownership- it was only the women who had to be monogamous in the begining- still is in some cultures) If you think your guy is a low life becuase he likes to look at other women, you are in for a lot of dissapointment. Accept his biology- men make allowances for womens biological issues, believe me -its a two way street. If he loves you and is a good husband and all he does is whack it from time to time. Thats the best you are going to do. Unless you’ve got a woman pretending to be a man.

  165. Mary says:

    chris hendrix you say “If he’s not sleeping with you its not because of the porn- its because he’s had you so many times, the thrill of the hunt is gone. A man is biologically built to want different women. Sorry, its a fact.” This may well be true, but surely in a loving and caring partnership other aspects of the relationship are important too, such as trust, caring for each others well-being and good communication. If sex is getting boring for the man then you can bet that it is getting boring for the woman! The answer, if continuing the relationship is still important, is as always in any good relationship, communication.

    If sex is getting boring then the subject can be tactfully mentioned, there are lots of options, divorce being one. However if the couple do both want to remain together they can either decide on an open relationship (fraught with dangers but if both partners agree then maybe it can be made to work) or else to work on spicing up their sex life, there are many good books on that subject – have you read any? Sure this might mean looking at porn together on occasion, what it doesn’t mean is that one partner secretly sneaks off to look at porn, leaving the other partner to one day stumble upon the stuff, having had no previous idea that this was happening.

    I suspect that the more one partner sneaks off to look at porn the more the real life sex suffers. In our case I thought my husband was just getting older, and quite frankly when it came to being boring in bed….! However having been on the brink of divorce, we decided to work on our relationship, sex is great, definitely not boring! and we have now been together for nearly 40 years. Like everything good in life it is worth a bit of effort. Btw I don’t think many women are upset by their man masturbating, they probably do it too, it is the SECRET viewing of porn that is the problem.

  166. Urusigh says:

    Ladies, do you like romance? Read romance novels, picture yourself as the woman in those classic stories, sigh over the male lead, maybe even indulge in a literotica like “50 Shades of Grey”?

    Congrats, you are “into” porn. Even my first GF referred to those books as “girl porn”. Those emotional triggers generate attraction for you, you enjoy the experience, and it has the advantage of being relatively quick, cheap, and risk free. Whether you actually play with yourself to it isn’t really relevant because physical stimulation isn’t what you’re really looking for, you’re already indulging in exactly the kind of stimulation you like best (mental/emotional). You’d call a man “insecure” or “controlling” if he tried to forbid you from those little diversions.

    Men are visual/physical. For most of them the basic level of trust and desire shown by a willingness to show some skin and maybe do some touching are foundational requirements for a romantic relationship, not the reward or end state of being in one. In the context of random women getting naked on screen, this involves about as much emotional investment as listening to a self-help tape. We all know perfectly well the person recorded doesn’t actually know or care about us any more than the author of a romance novel personally cares about the readers, but we get a pleasant feeling anyway. It’s mild enjoyment with minimal effort and risk, similar to how guys enjoy playing video poker (getting to feel a little of the excitement of being a high stakes player without actually risking money).

    So lay off on the “it destroyed my relationship” BS. It’s something he does when bored and otherwise unoccupied. You could lose him just as easily to video poker or watching football games. Don’t mistake the symptom for the problem. Frankly, if you aren’t meeting his desires in the bedroom than porn is really his safety release. You picked him out of the crowd once upon a time, so he does have some reason to think that he could land a different woman if he really wanted to be with someone else. With or without porn the fact that he stays with you should be evidence enough that he prefers the woman he has to the many that he fondly imagines he could have. Without it the temptation to cheat is going to keep growing and whether he gives in or not the need to restrain himself like that is going to generate resentment and the perception that he chose poorly, “settled”, or that you simply aren’t holding up your end of the relationship. In short, the only way porn is guaranteed to damage your relationship is if you forbid him from watching it.

    So show some self-esteem already. If you honestly think a woman he doesn’t know and can’t touch can give him more pleasure from his laptop than the woman physically in his life and his bed (you), then he’s going to wonder if you are right. You’ve just shot your sexual value and credibility to pieces by making it perfectly clear that you think practically any and every woman could satisfy him better than you can and you think he’s only still with you because he hasn’t realized it yet. That’s how it comes across.

    You might as well refuse to let him eat food cooked by any woman other than you because you think that they are all better cooks and he’ll sit around thinking of their cooking instead of appreciating yours. would you refuse to date any man who admits that he’d like to eat out once in a while? Hell no! It’s quick, it’s easy, and it sates the appetite. That’s all. It’s not any kind of personal judgement on you or even on your skill in the kitchen.

    Which is actually one of the best metaphors regarding porn, food. Sexual appetite is exactly that, an appetite. It comes with personal tastes, occasional odd whims, and it tends to be incredibly hard to ignore if you don’t tend to it regularly (and very unpleasant even if you endure). Ever watched a cooking show? You aren’t actually getting to eat the food, but you probably like watching it anyway. Maybe fantasize idly about it, thinking about how nice it would be if you cooked like that (or had someone who cooked like that for you). It’s not something you base your life decisions around or change your relationships for (imagine how silly you would sound if you dumped a guy over the fact that he watches cooking shows). That’s about it. “It would be nice if…”. You daydream a little, possibly pick up some new tricks for your own cooking, but only when you have time to spare and are relaxing, You don’t give up cooking if you can’t cook like that. You don’t hate and insult people who watch cooking shows. You probably don’t even think “does he watch cooking shows?” when you cook for him. That’s how porn should be treated. Enjoy it with him or ignore it, but don’t treat it as a threat or violation. It isn’t.

    Now some women will probably argue “if I consider it cheating, shouldn’t he respect that?” Well, that depends. Would you be comfortable giving up romance novels and movies if he considered that to be cheating? If your immediate response was anything but “yes”, than you just set a double standard. Do you really think that the burden is on him to tiptoe around your fragile self-esteem instead of you developing some confidence? Work a compromise if you must (say, he can only watch porn at times when you are not available, such as when away on a business trip). Whatever you do, you’re setting a precedent for the rest of the relationship. “I make unilateral demands with no room for compromise or negation; you obey or I walk!” isn’t a precedent that encourages a man to respect or try to stay with you. I really doubt any of you would stay with a man who did that (and anyone who did would catch hell from the rest of the women for doing so).

    I gave up porn for the better part of two years because my GF hated it (until that relationship ended). Frankly it was a hell of a strain on me because our relationship is long distance. Even if she’d been readily available, I still occasionally wanted things that she might not share my desire for, which would then make me feel guilty if I asked her to do them for me. So I’d still want to just take care of those desires myself rather than make her uncomfortable or expect her to do things that she doesn’t enjoy. Not being able to do even that… honestly felt like I was getting cheated. When she would gush about a Nickolas Sparks book (author of “The Notebook” and many others) I would feel a little threatened, as if they might give her unrealistic expectations of me and I would disappoint her somehow. So I know the feeling. My response was to focus on being the best man I can be, better than any other man she might meet. It’s a pretty safe bet that no girl is going to leave me for a life of celibacy and romance novels, so the books weren’t actually a threat; I never needed to be those guys, I just needed to get closer than any other suitor. Not hard, I’m all about self-improvement anyway because I want to give my partner the best me that I can possibly be. I suggest adopting the same attitude, ladies. If you don’t, then you’ll lose him to the ones who do, not the pictures on his screen.

  167. Trish says:

    Holy god. Waaaay too many insecure, psychotic women in these comments.
    All guys should pray to never be so unfortunate as to meet one of these clingers.
    Porn is porn is porn. Nothing more.

  168. Rosa says:

    The problem with this discussion is that “men watch porn” can mean many things! It can mean anything from a man, on occasion, watching consenting adults having sex with the knowledge and maybe participation of his partner, through to a man who is addicted to watching it, does so in secret, and suffers from the now well-documented problem of ED when with a real woman. I guess men secretly looking at illegal child porn also fits into the description of “men watch porn”. How many women are going to be cool about that?

  169. Milo says:

    Exactly Rosa! Anything taken to extremes could be considered a problem.

    It’s like saying that dancing is evil and destroys relationships. Even though Betty and James often have a great time dancing together at the club on Saturday nights, sometimes James prefers to go down to the local cemetery and dance on graves.

    I guess men secretly dancing on graves also fits into the description of “dancing”. How many women are going to be cool about that?

  170. Milo says:

    @ Urusigh – Bravo!

  171. Dani says:

    Wow, this article is truly disturbing and disgusting. I am in a long term relationship with a porn addict. It has been the most painful journey of my life. There is nothing worse than being in love with a man who can’t stop cheating on you! I could not help noticing all of the contradictions in this article. First it says “men think about porn all the time” yet at the end of the article they try to make it seem like men forget about porn after they shut it off. Or that men like porn because its a convenient way to cheat on your partner without cheating on your partner but they don’t think its cheating even though that’s the very reason they do it. Any woman is going to feel insecure and unsure of how the hell she is going to compete with the monster known as porn. She wants her man’s love, porn seems to want his soul and the tug of war begins.

    It is true if you keep your man busy 24/7 he won’t have time for porn. I usually revert straight to this tactic once another relapse has been discovered. But it is impossible for a real girl to keep this up. There are chores, bills, appointments, illnesses and your period to ruin your mood and good intentions.

    I hope every woman out there who is confused will read my words and know in her heart that those feelings of pain and anguish she feels about her man’s porn habits are very real and very natural. This man is your primary attachment figure, the one you are hopelessly devoted to. If you’re like me and are truly in love, you are wrapped around his finger. I don’t look at other men. It doesn’t register in my mind if the men I see day to day are attractive or not. I don’t watch movies or tv at all. I’m not reading romantic novels or fantasizing about dream partners. I’m always keeping myself busy caring for our toddler and puppy, cleaning the house, washing my man’s laundry, cooking my man delicious meals. Every thought I have that’s not related to my child is definitely “what could I be doing to make his life better?” And when I have free time on the computer I’m looking into learning more about my man’s problem with porn so that I can help him beat it and also love to look for ways I can be more attentive to his sexual needs. He is the happiest when I give him 2 orgasms a day. As soon as his alarm goes off I start nuzzling, rubbing, kissing and caressing him which turns into a hand job or blow job. I don’t like to have sex as much as he does so this is a nice way to give him his stress relief and not be walking around sore 🙂 Eye contact and your attitude are everything to your man. He NEEDS to know you desire him. You NEED to know you are special and cherished, well he does too! He just needs it shown to him in a dirtier fashion 🙂 When he gets home from work I give him a back rub, even just spending a few minutes rubbing his back is very relaxing for him and shows how much I care. If you want all of your man’s attention and affection you’re not just entitled to it, you do have to earn it just as you should expect him to earn your love. If you want to swim in the deep end of love you have got to start opening up to him. Tell him what you need from him. Don’t be demanding, be real. Sit with yourself for a while and think about what you really need from him. Don’t lay it all out there in one sitting, tell him what you need conversation by conversation. A lot of women make this mistake of thinking “if he truly loved me he should just know what I need.” He is bewildered trying to figure out what you need, help the poor man out. Really desire what you ask for and really be grateful for it when you receive it. Be receptive to what he needs from you. Don’t over react when he comes to you with a problem or a desire. This was something I had to work on. I would always take his temptation to look at porn SO personally. Now I value his trust in me too much. If it hurts I allow myself to cry. If I feel like smashing all of his belongings into tiny little pieces like I feel he’s done to my heart, I cry instead. Smashing all of his things does not get you anywhere (I’ve tried this one before). I keep a journal in which I write how I’m feeling and how I’m handling my painful feelings which is a great outlet for a lot of my hurt and frustration. I ask him to read my journal sometimes and we’ve had a lot of cries together which brings us closer to understanding each other. I finally started asking him all those in depth questions I kept to myself like what is he looking for? What turns him on? What makes him turn to it? When I stopped answering these questions for him and REALLY LISTENED to him when he answered me, I was surprised to find the answers and what he needed from me (nurturing motherly love) was quite simple and not as complicated as I’d made it in my mind.

    I’ve watched my little girl dreams of finding my prince charming get flushed down the toilet time and time again just like the cum soaked wads of toilet paper. It is heartbreaking.

    Men in this society are taught such awful tricks and porn is a poisonous drug that is way to easily available to them. Businesses are making money off of everyone’s problems these days. First they make people fat with all the ads for junk food, then they sell solutions like deadly diet pills and weight loss programs that never seem to work.

    My man’s porn use comes from a deep seeded desire to be loved by his mother who was for lack of better words a complete psycho. He was a good boy who loved his mother and wanted so badly to have her love returned, but all she ever did was play games with him. At a very young age he was introduced to porn and he was hooked. Its taken years to get to the core of his problems. The relapses are becoming farther and farther apart from each other. This last time he was able to be true to me for almost a year and a half which was a really amazing time in our relationship.

    If you want all of your man’s love and attention as I do, that is the way it should be! That is healthy. You shouldn’t want to control him, you should just really desire his choice in loving you and respecting you. One of the biggest mistakes I see women make is not first offering what they wish for in return. You may think but I cook, I clean, I care for his children and make his lunches (as I do and did), but have you ever asked him if there was something more you could do for him? His need for porn comes from bad feelings he is keeping inside. It is very important for him to feel like he is a real man. He needs you to be willing, eager and excited to please him. I realized after his last relapse that I had a great area of opportunity to improve on my nurturing skills. We had a lot of big life changes happen to us all at once. It happened to us both and we both dealt with it differently. I took on the challenges head strong and didn’t let them get to me. I started working to support our family while he couldn’t. This left me extremely worn out. Living with new roommates put a big damper on our sex life. Bored at home and depressed about his inability to “be a man” for his family he started acting out. This only caused us to become separated from each other emotionally. He became more demanding but was so mean about it I reacted by retreating further away from him which I realize now was a huge mistake. The way he went about dealing with his problems was not right at all. It was very wrong, it hurts me very much to even think or talk about it. Women expect a higher degree of love because most of us are born naturally loving that way and the big news flash is that so are men! Men do desire to love just as deeply as a woman, the difference is that society strips him of this ability.

    Nothing has helped us more than really talking about the ugly pile of crap in our living room (what we both know is going on and what he is so scared to open up about). It is painful to enter this layer of him, the one that has no issue cheating on us. But it is important for you to get your questions answered. I love this man so much, even though it was painful, I just had to know more about this part of him. It is a bit like prying open a vault, but the treasures he is hiding deep inside himself are very worth discovering.

  172. viennasienna85 says:

    Okay, here’s the thing ladies (and some guys): YOU SHOULD WATCH MORE PORN.
    It’s not serious. It’s not scary. It’s not going to destroy humanity. It won’t make baby Jesus cry. It’s just a bit of fun.
    What’s they big deal? I sometimes watch porn. My boyfriend sometimes watches porn. Sometimes we watch porn together. Sometimes we watch porn with friends.
    So what? I could say the same thing about watching The Simpsons.

    Perhaps you should give it a chance. It might melt the icy barnacles off from between your thighs.

  173. Lindsey says:

    I think it all comes down to whether you’re relationship is happy or not. I was in a relationship that the sex decreased a great amount and that was when I noticed he had pulled out his old porn collection. I realize now though that he was not happy in the relationship, and knowing he was watching porn just made me more resentful and insecure which just pushed him away even more. It was a vicious cycle. I wouldn’t have a problem with my boyfriend watching porn once in a while but if my needs are not being met then we have a problem. I think couples in general need to be better at communicating. The sad thing is that I would have been very willing to do so much more sexually with my ex but I was never able to openly discuss it and neither was he. The one thing I don’t understand thought is the “It’s our god given right” stance that men take. Get over yourselves! And if it hurts the woman you are with, is it really too much to ask for you to give it up? Assuming you are in a relationship that is healthy otherwise. It’s sad that such a physical thing is allowed to hurt so many women emotionally while men continue to come up with excuses. In a lot of these cases we are talking about married couples, did you stipulate in your wedding vows that “I will love and cherish you, but then go jerk off to porn even if it hurts you as long as we both shall live”? For all the men who say its no big deal… Then it should be no big deal to give it up, especially if it hurts the one person who is supposed to be so important to you.

  174. Sandy says:

    I have never blown my husband off for sex. I admit there were times when I didn’t feel like it. But, I never let him know, and I still went out of my way to make his sexual experience most pleasurable each and every time. He stopped approaching me, and began blowing me off with excuses of being tired, sick, busy, etc. At first, I trusted and believed in him that he was being truthful, and I gave him the space that I thought he needed. I just figured he was having some short term issues that would pass. I never suspected that he was ditching me for his love of porn, which apparently outweighed his love for me, because he chose porn instead of me. My discovery of his porn use came about quite by accident. Early one evening, I had once again attempted to make beautiful love to my husband, and once again my advances were spurned with the excuse that he was very tired and going to bed. So, I kissed him goodnight, told him I loved him, and went to bed too. We hugged & cuddled, then fell asleep. About 2 hrs later I woke up, and noticed he was no longer in bed. So, I got up to see if he was okay. I could hear sounds coming from the downstairs den, so I went downstairs & looked in the den. By now, I could hear loud moaning sounds, and I realized that the sounds were coming from a nude woman on our TV screen, and my husband, who was moaning with her, while happily pleasuring himself. I cleared my throat, my husband noticed me and began mumbling about not being able to sleep. I even asked him if he would like me to finish what he started, but he jumped up, & said no. He then told me that he was tired now, and we returned to bed. Back in bed, I once again tried to help him out, but again he spurned my advances, and pretended to sleep. So, I pretended to sleep. Within 10 mins, he was back in the den, porn back on. Minutes later, I watched him finish what he had started. I went to bed, and cried myself to sleep, realizing that he wanted porn instead of me, & more than me. Porn was his first choice, and porn was his new lover, instead of me. I was devastated. I lost everything, my confidence, my self esteem, my trust & belief in him, and even my belief in myself as a woman. A lot of guys think that husbands turn to porn when their wives refuse them, but often that is not the case. Apparently men may also decide that they want variety, and that their wives aren’t enough anymore. Obviously mine did. He now keeps telling me that it’s not true, that he loves me very much, that he always wanted me, and that he was just being stupid & he doesn’t know why. Well, the hurt & pain he has caused me is great. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for what he has done to me. I feel as though our whole marriage was a sham. So guys, if you really do love your wife, you really better be careful about what you do. You may lose her, like my husband may lose me. You have to ask yourself if porn is more important to you than your wife. I keep telling my husband that he proved to me that porn was more important to him than I was, and now he will have to deal with the repercussions. I don’t see how he can justify what he did with his supposed loved for me. I do not feel loved, plain & simple. Would any of you? Girls? Guys?

  175. Em says:

    Sandy,

    Thanks for sharing the position you’re in, reading your story I actually felt like I could relate to someone about this again. It’s a hell I don’t wish on anybody.

    Em.

  176. thomas says:

    i’m a married man and i can’t stand porn anywhere and for those males who live for porn you really need help. i love my wife too much to watch filthy porn for it really stinks and degrades all women. when i was single i knew a few porn stars for i live in southern california which is he capital of porn and now their all dead, really from drugs to vehicle accidents, unfortunately as long as there’s single men out there porn will thrive and get dirtier by the minute. it seems like everything in this corrupt world is related to sex. sex was meant to be private but as always mankind took it out of context. shame on the founders of porn.

  177. Rosa says:

    Pamela Stephenson in the Guardian answers the problem “My girlfriend has other partners and I am consumed with jealousy” which is followed by reader’s comments (over 400 of them). Now you would think after reading about men and porn all the men would think “lucky man now you can be your naturally polygamous self and have sex with all the women you like!” but no, not a bit of it, they are for the most part saying “dump her!” How strange, perhaps one of the men who have posted on here could explain why.

  178. Jennifer says:

    This confirmed everything I was worried about.. I can’t imagine having sex with my man anymore knowing that he’s comparing me to these other girls he fantasizes about. No more sex for me.

  179. Rosa says:

    Firstly Thomas your wife is a lucky lady.

    Jennifer, I have read that scientific studies have found that men who look at porn find their own partners less attractive afterwards (common sense to most people). However what you say about not wanting sex anymore is interesting.

    I am still with my husband, but if we were to part for any reason although I would still want to have sex with men (and it wouldn’t bother me a bit if he looked at porn so long as ED hadn’t set in) no way would I choose to live with another man in a close relationship. The reason is that having read this article and other similiar articles, and having read the comments from many men I just don’t find the idea of living with another man appealing.

    I think it is fair to say that porn not only changes the way men regard their real-life women, it also appears to be true that porn has made men seem less a lot less attractive to a large number of women. (This definitely has nothing to do with some women being prudes as we are often accused of being, it is a trust issue.)

  180. Ashley says:

    Ok. I get men want/ need porn, whatever, that’s fine. I’ve watched porn, my fiance watches it, we’ve watched it together. But here is my problem… He has been visiting sites like adultfriendfinder, meet locals, and ashleymadison. We have sex almost everyday, I try to please him. I get that men are horny… But is now possibly trying to meet up with other woman. He denies being on these sites, but one has a profile with his exact birthday. Note- he never did anything on these sites or put a picture up. It costs money and he knows I will find out… But he is getting on there and looking.

    Any advice?

  181. charlotte says:

    Dear lord i fear for my generations and those to follow.
    ‘its a mans thing’ im afraid does not register, PORN has only been made easily available recently through internet and countless magazines, so explain to me lads your ‘its natural’ concept. Only weirdo’s or men in bad relationships in the past would resort to backstreet porn shops and sleazy magazines, video never even existed so again explain this natural biological need to which in the past seized to exist? you wanted to wank, you would use your imagination or at most a picture.

    Secondly ‘women should watch it too’ is an unfair assumption, many of you have noted quite pointedly that women are emotional thinkers with relation to being turned on, so why would they enjoy porn which is predominately targeted at MALES and focuses in on the women mostly? most women who do watch porn and confess to ‘enjoy’ it are doing so for you’re satisfaction more than their own in order to appear ‘more open sexually’ or to appease what appears to be becoming the ‘norm’, let it not be forgotten however there is some females who may like it and those of you who cant tame your ‘habit’ and it is a habit will find comfort in these women.

    Moreover this obsession with its okay because she reads ’50 shades of grey’ thinkers are in denial. Once again i wish those of you to rethink why she reads the book and again take interest into WHY it turns her on. The majority of answers i can guarantee will incur something along the lines ‘grey reminds me of you’ ‘i think of you reading it’. Again if we are to think analytically then the only thing that can be assumed from this is that they do not imagine another male but you their (husband/boyfriend) and thus your justification into you’re porn habits and watching other women are unnecessary. Books have words not pictures…

    Furthermore the ethics of porn in general are just vile, from own experience most porn is the violent exposure of power divisions in sex, the women receiving, willingly, intercourse from the male without her own satisfaction actually being fulfilled or atleast not in reality. Think about it lads you have countless times in comments expressed the difference in women and males ways in which they are aroused. Men=physically seeing and women=feelings/emotion/touch, These porn stars again evidently cannot be enjoying what is being done to them if that theory is true? yet you relish in their fake prov ado, is that not a bit strange?, infact most of you are masturbating over the males pleasure, if assumingly he is the only one receiving it (this is not the case with all porn stars witnessed and some do enjoy their sex scenes). But studies of these porn stars have in fact shown most see it as a job rather than pleasure, rather not what you males would expect. I find this all together baffling when you have a real women willing to show you what the look of real women satisfaction entails. Generally porn encourages the disrespect of women, their to be abused seen as a sexual object rather than a human with feelings of their own, through crude and ‘nasty’ acts not that that is wrong in stable relationships but it does discourage respect towards women and distorts what a healthy sex life is.
    Secondly with regards to ethics the amount in which porn varies can determine the anger your women feels about it, one i found most disturbing and yet it is the most watched is Teen porn. Teen Porn???? that is disturbing all together and any women who takes offence deserves the right too. You are grown men masturbate to your own age if needs be. And those of you watch it, i only wish one day you stumble across your own daughter partaking in them horrific acts before she is even aware of the choices she makes, TEENagers are foolish and you’re abusing that fact.
    I also worry for you’re sons, i am not old a teenager myself, but even i can grasp/understand the influx and contamination porn is going to have on our younger generation. as one put ‘its easily available’ indeed it is and with dire consequences, on average boys watch from 11 nowadays even younger, before their minds have fully developed. The impact of this is A) they are not able to by adult age able to sustain a normal relationship, expecting irrational acts b)if we are to believe violent films can turn people violent, well same applies with hardcore porn. c) it becomes an addiction they cannot control, and steadily the lack of respect in women. For Young Girls this immediately creates insecurities, perceptions of this is right and normal and thus the end of own self respect.

    also its appeals to male fantasies is bullshit. Infact more studies of found porn in fact molds and creates them and has done since time began. Porn promotes anal=Anal becomes fantasy. So again assumingly these are not you’re fantasies. Another excuse diminished, this applies more to those who began watching at a young age.

    Those of you claiming its not ‘cheating’ again are in denial (p.s this excludes those of you who have a strong mutual agreement and enjoyment of porn) here is how.. Are you lying to your partner in order to do it? if the answer is yes than you are cheating point blank and disloyalty is disloyalty im sure you wouldn’t enjoy her lying to you. Moreover just the need to masturbate over another women can be considered betrayal if you love you’re women unconditional then why let these ‘porn stars’ come between you, If you know your partner doesn’t like it why continue? and those guys who want to stop but are drawn back to it think. Is this a pass time or addiction?.
    Those of you comparing it to shopping i have a serious issue with. does shopping hurt you? is she lying? is she taking away a fundamental need that you want? NO. Correction men it is like you playing video games, not an excuse to fondal yourself to other women. YES women enjoy it but in no way what so ever is it do with sex, that is a completely different subject.

    Most of you men complain ‘women aren’t into them anymore’ or ‘dont want sex as much’ now this is not in all cases but consider this… could this be because she has found out about your porn habit? and no longer see’s you the same way? that being because you have broken her trust, her self-esteem or perception of you. From my own experience this is the reason. I obligingly did everything for my partner and had complete trust and devotion towards him, but when i found out all was eradicated not only do i no longer want to satisfy him my enjoyment for it entirely has decreased, The perception he was ‘different’ and special gone, (which is what keeps most women loyal, TAKE NOTE.)the obligations i expected in the relationship were not met so i began to disregard his often comparing him to ‘fitter’ guys i knew or imaging being with them, i also began to see his faults. Strangely and ironically as well most of you men secretly would be extremely disheartened if you’re girl was masturbating to other ‘bigger’ guys. Although at first it will be exciting, the replacement of you to a hench 10 inched male will take tole. Ladies men are extremely insecure, More than women perhaps, they are just very good at hiding it. They take comfort in holding the power over us through sadly our own biological defaults, but this can be beaten through theirs. men are egotistical creatures and they demand attention if you show two can play that game they may in turn come to see you’re view or more favorably want to fight those giving you more pleasure and thus pay more attention and time in gaining you’re affection, jealousy is key. This doesn’t always work however and may suggest even more serious problems.
    Porn in general is a setback and should NOT be tolerated in a relationship if it hurts you in anyway. And you males watching it should consider their partners feelings, if you love them enough you will stop, if not you deserve better.

  182. David says:

    Oh boy…..where to start…you’re ALL wacked. lol

    You know what is older than porn, male sex drive, and variety? Procreation!… one man, and one woman. That’s how all us got here! We didn’t get here, by man jacking off to some fantasy! Are you kidding me??? Where does FANTASY play in with evolution??? How does THAT work? lol
    No, no…. keeping you from cheating, and age old novelty are the only excuses you have. You that say that are MORE than likely one of those men that are addicted. Ever hear an addicted person defend their drug? That’s you. lol Anyone that keeps doing something they KNOW hurts the one they love is addicted to that…and in denial. Bigtime!
    If you’re single? Fine. Fap to your porn. But! Watch out! You COULD be one of those men that gets addicted. Guess what? You get addicted and use porn too much? When you DO find a gf, your member refuses to cooperate. Look it up, 5 part series on Youtube. It’s a real concern and science and studies have proven it. Men that only use this outlet once and a while and are satisfied are ignorant to the extremes that are very prevalent today. However, most men cannot use this “drug” on a seldom basis. They cannot WAIT to get alone with porn and turning down WILLING partners…..Porn is replacing women. That’s a problem.
    Also, men are seeing women as categorical inhuman creatures instead of women with a soul and a heart. I think with this new information, it’s time for us men to wake up and realize internet porn is a new product compared to the porn in the old days. With a totally different scarier outcome.
    I quit… it still calls me in my memory. Once you are joined with your life partner, lust for someone else is rude. We all have these thoughts. It’s as simple as ignoring them when they arise, instead of fulfill them. All this is, ??? I want, what I want, and I want it now attitude. Our ancient man was not interested in fulfilling his every desire immediately. Men are just getting lazy and don’t want to wait for their woman. Imagine if we all treated everything with that urgency and attitude???
    Wake up people. Before it’s too late. REAL women are hurting. Why ignore that and downplay it? I’d hope if you saw a wounded animal on the street whining and wreathing in pain you wouldn’t say “deal with it”. How much more humans need more care.
    Women, stop putting up with porn. Women, stop being in porn for money and providing this outlet. Your fantasies are in your mind men. Always have been. If you are fantasizing about other women, maybe you don’t really appreciate the woman you have.
    Also, You are no more visual than a woman is. NO one goes to see the Grand Canyon with a blindfold on. We ALL like to SEE everything we can.

  183. Amandolyn says:

    When you masturbate, do you only ever fantasize about your partner?
    If my partner admitted to me that I was their one and only masturbatory focus, I would actually be a little creeped out. Hell, I’d probably even buy them a porno subscription.

  184. Amandolyn says:

    @ David, etc – Your stupidity knows no bounds.

  185. Rosa says:

    Amandolyn surely it is possible to defend your love of porn without resorting to personal insults?

  186. D says:

    Agree with David. He said everything in my mind. It hurts like hell, thank you.

  187. Lorrie Mc. says:

    I wouldnt mind sooo much if I was getting SOME attention!!! But hes tired, hot, whatever but has time to attempt to sneak the f**king porn in! I am at my wits ends…. Soon to find someone that will pay ATTN to ME!

  188. Jenni says:

    Omg. XD Well, I was very glad to read this from a guy’s POV.

    Also, I’m a female who loves porn, and has a higher sex drive than the average female. For a while I was embarrassed and ashamed about this, growing up in a conservative family.

    But WOW there are some crazy girls on here. If a guy wants to jerk off, why is there a problem? It’s not like he’s left you for a real live woman! As long as you’re still his number one priority, and he’s not addicted to internet porn, there should be no problem. Honestly, it can be healthy (and exciting!) for couples to watch together.

    And the majority of porn is actually pretty hilarious.

  189. Amandolyn says:

    @ Rosa – Just returning the favour:

    “you’re ALL wacked” – David.

    See? No need to get your stinky little knickers in a knot 🙂

  190. A says:

    So males are disgusting because they are consume (free) porn, but 18 years old bitches which suck some 50 years old dicks from another 20 year old bitch ass for 100 $ – is normal daily routine. Internesting

    The whole reason of this stupid conversation is that your golden trigger easy life instrument – pussy – stop doing work for “normal living” .

    I live in Europe – 10 millions people country and this contry – bitchies (they called herself “actors”) from my country are on the third rail of porn industry in the whole world. Greedily, stupid, money dick suckers, with painting face on mug, 19 years old money fucking bitches.

    But males are “disgusting”

  191. jRach says:

    Impact on Wives

    For many women, discovering that their husbands have been viewing pornography is similar to uncovering an extramarital affair. As a result, they experience a variety of emotions: anger, hurt, sadness, betrayal, and rejection. They believe their husbands would rather be with the women they view in pornography rather than their wives. Often they feel that they have been replaced by a computer image. The woman on the computer screen is “the other woman.” Because of this, many women are devastated whey they discover their husbands have been looking at porn.

    For many wives, their husbands’ use of pornography is a violation of marital trust. When a man and woman marry, they vow to love, honor and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. Viewing pornography is akin to breaking these vows because they are in no way a sign of a man’s love, honor and respect for his wife. For these women, the men they married all of a sudden seem like strangers. Many feel like a fool for ever having trusted their husbands. For some women, the violation of trust is so deep that they question if they can go on with their marriage. While they might be able to forgive their husbands, rebuilding trust can be extremely difficult.

    Pornography invading the home can also lead a wife to feel old, unattractive and sexually undesirable. It’s no secret that most of the women in pornography are just over 18 years of age. Furthermore, thanks to plastic surgery, makeup and digital photographic enhancement, most of the women in pornography do not exist in real life. They are too “perfect.” A wife in her mid-thirties, who has had a few children, might be very beautiful; however, she does not look like a 19 year old. Because of this, she may think, “How can I compete with the young girls in porn?” This can lead her to feel ugly, undesirable and rejected by her husband. This is further compounded by the effects pornography can have on a man’s sexual performance. A man who is addicted to pornography can become so accustomed to being sexually aroused by the “perfect” women in pornography that he can eventually find it difficult to perform sexually with his own wife.

    Impact on Husbands

    Studies have shown that men crave respect from their wives more than love. Pornography robs men of this basic need. Pornography use almost always leads women to lose respect for her husbands. They also begin to view their husbands as poor role models for their children. This adds to the lack of respect. This can be very painful for women because it inhibits their ability to love, honor and respect their husbands. Men were created to be the leaders, providers and protectors of their wives and families. Pornography prevents men from being able to fulfill these roles because it leads a man to isolate himself and neglect his wife and children. This deepens the trust wound in the marriage.

    In addition to the emotional effects that pornography has on wives and marriages, it can also have physical ramifications. When a man becomes addicted to pornography, he eventually develops a tolerance to it. What was once sexually arousing becomes boring and uninteresting. Thus, he can go from viewing soft porn to hardcore porn. After a while, even this is not enough. He may develop a desire to perform the sexual acts he has seen in pornography. This can lead to using prostitutes and engaging in anonymous sex. With this comes the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

    With one couple I treated, the wife found out about her husband’s pornography/sex addiction from her physician. She had gone to her gynecologist for her annual examination and was informed that she had a sexually transmitted disease. She had gotten it from her husband who had been frequenting prostitutes. Since she had always been faithful to her husband, she knew she caught the disease from him. After confronting him, he confessed. One can hardly imaging the devastation this couple felt. Although this couple loved each other dearly and were committed to mending their marriage, it took months of therapy to work on forgiveness and rebuilding trust.

    Fortunately, most couples are not like the one just described. Most are like Joe and Patty. When people think of addiction recovery, they often envision the addict attending 12-step group meetings and individual therapy sessions. While these are needed for recovery, marital therapy is also needed to heal the deep wounds inflicted on the marital relationship. Sometimes wives can even be a cause of pornography use by their husbands. I have worked with couples where the wives were very cold, critical and demanding. This led their husbands to use pornography out anger and a need for female affection. Part of the recovery process called for the wives to be more gentle, giving and affectionate toward their husbands.

    Moving Toward Healing

    In all cases, wives need to learn how to forgive their husbands. This comes by understanding the deep emotional wounds that lead a man into pornography addiction. When one understands that addictive behaviors are often symptoms of deeper wounds, it becomes easier to have compassion and forgive. Trust also has to be rebuilt in the marriage. This comes from the husband taking responsibility for his recovery and proving his trustworthiness to his wife. As forgiveness and trust grow, the couple experiences healing in their relationship. Thus, addiction recovery is not just for the addict, it involves spouses and families too.

    Couples need to realize that even the most devastating situations can lead to greater love, trust an intimacy in a marriage. There is always hope. However, it starts by husbands understanding how their pornography use affects their wives and marriage. It is my hope that this understanding will prevent men from viewing pornography as well as help heal marriages that have been damaged by pornography use.

    Source: Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D

  192. sheila says:

    ^^ disagree withe the PhD above… wives are under no obligation to forgive and have compassion for their filthy cheaters

  193. Summer says:

    Here’s the thing ladies. Men are programed to sleep with as many women as possible. We get that’s why they like porn. It’s a way to get that variety without having to do any emotional work or courting. I get it.

    Here’s the thing guys. Women like sex too. But it’s less about the physical variety. We are programed to want the strongest, hottest, and most able to provide male we can find. That’s why in nature you see the males compete for females. The strongest buck or prettiest peacock gets the female. Ladies we are designed to be attracted to the hot doctor or rich business man (it’s not physical). Sex for us is also much more emotional, we like to connect with another person. Porn just doesn’t fill that void for most women which is why we don’t get it.

    So ladies lets stop asking men to quit watching porn. You heard them, it’s not gonna stop anyway. They really don’t care about your feelings on the topic. So why do we care so much about their feelings? Next time you connect with a guy that’s better than your husband in some sleep with him! It’s not cheating it’s satisfying your biological need. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him and you will feel like you got the new connection you were craving. Don’t worry if it hurts his feelings, he could careless about yours. And I’m sure if you just explained this too him he will understand. Just sleep with who you want to sleep with and cover your tracks well. Then let him have his porn.

  194. Renee says:

    Why do women still want to be in relationships with men in this context? Seriously, what do men bring to women? Affection, love? Let me doubt it. When they look at porn behind their woman’s back? Wishing they could be with anyone else but their woman? Men look at porn for the women, who are turned into sexual objects for men’s pleasure. Viewing women throught these lens affects the way men come to view women in general as they are seen as primarily sex objects (even in non sexual context), thus dehumanized , instead of intellectual/emotional/spiritual beings. Porn affects the way men view and experience sex. I have several of my friends telling me, and I have experienceced it myself, that men are selfish in bed, passive or wanting to do you things that hurt. There is no connectedness as they are mostly in their porn mind while you have become an object that has to satisfy him. It shows when a man’s mind has been polluted with porn. Porn and everything that is associated to it is often misogynistic as the language being used is always about emphasizing how just a set of holes women are and how you can use them to do whatever sadistic thing you want. It is completely normal for a woman to be turn off by her boyfriend when she discovers that he is getting off on images of teenages girls being objectified, used and degraded. It is completely normal for our perception of the man we share our life with to change, and not for the better. We view him as a stranger, someone who do not respect women. We feel disconnected. Some might even feel guilty or ashamed for not being younger or having a nicer body (while their husband’s imperfect body is nothing to be worried about; he’s a man!). Women are always asked to be comprehensive, to make an effort to understand men, but it is never the other way around. Men will dismiss and distort everything women say by saying they are insecure, they’re the problem. Men are telling us ‘we don’t care about all your feelings and thoughts and whatever’. Is that love? Anyway, don’t ask me about love as I feel I have lost my capacity to love men and in the actual context of things, I do not feel it is a loss but rather a liberation. So again: why women do you still want to be in relationships with men?

  195. Beck says:

    The fact this article says women should regard porn as the eqivalent of the lame ass romantic comedies that apparently all women adore…it just smacks of stupidity. Right, and when women masturbate they lie back and think about romantic dinners, hand holding, jewelry, and getting complimented on their shoes instead of cocks or tongues or hands doing wonderful erotic things. The author is seriously putting forward the old “men like sex, women like mushy emotional relationship nonsense instead of sex” claptrap? The article should have explained why it’s impossible for men to masturbate without pictures and expecting them to live withoutunfettered access to images of naked people is cruel and unusual. It’s like men never jerked off before cameras were invented.

  196. B says:

    I agree with everything “Beck” said above. I don’t understand why men act like watching porn is such an entitlement. Pornography has been around since the beginning of art but NEVER in the way it is now. Do these guys who are acting like they are incapable of achieving sexual release without porn think that guys in the past just never masturbated? That’s just ridiculous. Nobody NEEDS porn. We just happen to live with a generation of men who have never known masturbation without porn, and who ARE dependent on it. You may not have a full blown addiction to it, but if you really can’t jack off without watching some porn queen then you are dependent.

    And no, it’s not the same as women watching romantic comedies. At all. The author of the article seems to forget that women masturbate too, and when they do, I can promise you they’re not thinking of some romantic comedy or shopping sprees. That’s just plain ignorant. We are sexual beings as well. When I masturbate at least, I tend to just focus on the pleasure of it, or I’ll think of a past sexual encounter or maybe create my own fantasy in my head. I don’t *need* constant access to millions upon millions of images naked writhing and grunting men to achieve sexual release. That would be ridiculous.

    However, if the tables were turned and porn was designed with female viewers in mind, then maybe things would be different. Maybe it would be the women viciously defending their porn and men being left feeling confused and inadequate.

    ANYWAY, I have dated somebody with an actual porn addiction. Before him, I though of porn as harmless, guys-being-guys sort of thing just like what’s described in the article. I understood that my one measly unphotoshopped body (while I am fit, young, and attractive) could never compare to the millions of balloon chested sirens on the internet. It was a sad fact that I accepted. Guys I dated watched porn, whatever.

    Then I met “T”. In the beginning, there was some sexual interest, less than I had been accustomed too, but our personalities meshed so well and we had really great emotional chemistry. I thought he was gorgeous, and I always thought of myself as attractive so we were initially a good match. At first I thought he did not have a sex drive to keep up with me. Come to find out later that he would jack off to porn six or seven times a day, even looking it up on his phone while “using the bathroom” while visiting me (I’m in college and at the time shared an apartment with three other people who were all home at the time). He looked at porn at my parents house. I didn’t know any of this until later on. I started to pick up on it about four or five months into the relationship after a couple of times he had left porn up on his open laptop in the middle of the day (knowing full well I was going to be coming over) but I brushed it off because, like this article says, guys need “guy time”. We had sex about two or three times a month which bothered me, since I’m a very sexual person, but I was blinded by the genuine love I had for him. Still, my dissatisfaction grew, especially since most of the time when having sex with me he couldn’t finish, or wanted to be excessively violent, tried to do anal without asking, wanted to come on my face and slap me in the face, etc..

    At the beginning of the next semester we decided to get an apartment together along with a couple other roommates. This is where things got bad. Any semblance of a sex life we had dropped off altogether, and we’d only been dating six months. We still got along fantastically nonsexually, so I really wanted to make things work. Evidence of his porn addiction was becoming really obvious. Every night he would stay up incredibly late locked in the other room, or he would disappear behind locked doors at random times during the day, even when we had people over. I ignored all of this because I’d been fed crap like this article, telling me porn addiction isn’t a real thing. Every internet article I turned to for help told me the same thing, that I was making problems up in my head, that it was harmless, that I should just shut up and watch it with him.

    Well, eventually in a last ditch effort to save the relationship he agreed to have sex with me if I agreed to let him watch porn while we had sex. Being the sex positive, liberal person I am I said okay. Unfortunately for me, “T” could not stay hard for just ANY kind of porn. He turned on the most vile, degrading torture porn I could imagine at the time (and for him, it was apparently relatively tame). Girls getting anally raped by machines, choked, beaten, etc… I couldn’t even bear the sounds of it so it had to be on mute. Me looking at him, him looking at a screen. He wouldn’t even glance at me. It wasn’t having sex, it was him masturbating with my body instead of his hand. This happened a couple times, and afterwards I cried for hours.

    He also informed me of the plethora of things wrong with my body. He told me my vagina was weird looking. He told me part of the reason he couldn’t get turned on by me was because he was turned on by big breasts (I’m not flat chested, I’m a 32DD and to this day I still feel like my boobs are too small). I wasn’t flexible enough to get into crazy pretzel poses. My tummy wasn’t flat enough (I weigh 115 pounds). And on, and on, and on.

    It was the absolute worst. We are not together any more for obvious reasons. I moved out within three months. Not without residual baggage and still feeling like I will never be hot enough, feeling like any guy that is having sex with me is just “settling” because he can’t fuck a porn star. I read all these comments and I don’t see “prudish” “jealous” “controlling” women. I see women who are sexually unsatisfied and that if their partner would rather watch porn than have sex with them they should just suck it up and watch a Nicholas Sparks film. I see men who, on one hand feel that it’s sexist to portray all males as sex crazed chauvinist pigs, but at the same time for whatever reason think that abstaining from watching porn is some sort of medieval torture.

  197. Alex says:

    I’ll just say that this is one guy trying to speak for a whole lot of guys. He is not going to be right on all accounts. That being said he makes a valid point. I view the occasional video, I wont lie about that but when I do I am not comparing my girlfriend (whom I have been with for over 4 years now (I am 21)) to the porn star I am watching. I’ve read a lot of comments on here about marriages under stress… Ladies, you need to get out there and find someone else, not everyone is like that. My girlfriend is able to satisfy me sexually, I watch porn out of boredom at times, but also I will do it out of habit. Thing about that is, habits can be broken, in many ways its no different to smoking.

  198. Chris says:

    As a 30-year-old married man of six years I can say that porn is more of last resort for me. I love having sex with my wife (who is 29), but after working, cooking, and taking care of three children, some nights she is just too tired for sex. Watching porn is more of a hobby, like playing video games, or coin collecting. However, no matter how much I like to look at porn, THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR SEX WITH A REAL WOMAN!!!!! Any man who would rather jack off to porn than have real sex with his wife/gf needs to grow up! Ladies, if you are concerned about your man’s porn addiction, talk to him about it! Don’t feel hurt or angry, it may have nothing to do with you at all!! And fellas, try not jacking off so much to porn everyday (at least for five days). Trust, me you will not miss it, especially if you are in a committed relationship. If you are single, it might even help you find a real girlfriend instead a living in a fantasy evry night! Finally, if a man really loves AND CARES about his woman, he would rather do her, than please himself 😉

  199. Sammy says:

    i have never been in more pain, and sickened as i am right now because of porn. i use to love it. then i loved a man who loved it more than me and his kids… so please explain to me one more time, how on earth its ok to have any type of sex while with somone… virtual sex is a very real thing guys! wait till your daughter is sexting!

  200. Meadowsweet says:

    I rarely watch chick flicks and never read romance novels so I can’t comment on the similarities to porn. I get the business about porn just being fantasy and I’ve seen what’s out there. All I can really say is EWE! But then I say that about a lot if things men do.

    So if I ask him to give up porn I’m asking him to give up his inherent predatory need to objectify and use women’s bodies for his own selfish gratification? Is it supposed to make me feel better about him that he’s just using other humans with no concern for them?

    Porn is pleasing for a man and satisfies an emotional (yes I’m going there) need for him. Feelings=emotions. Watching porn feels good therefore it fulfills an male emotional need. Okay I get that and if I really love him I’d want him to always have all his needs met, right? Sounds good to me.

    Now women on the other hand tend to want more social interaction than one man can comfortably provide. In that case isn’t it fair that women should be able to spend time interacting with and flirting with other men who find them attractive? Shouldn’t women get their emotional desire for warm and fuzzy sexual needs met too? I mean not all husbands can handle the emotional neediness of their wives all the time. The same way wives aren’t always present for the male’s never ending need for sexual stimulation and gratification. It would seem fair that women are able to go out with other men since husbands are getting their jollies looking at a variety of women. According to men all it takes is to look at naked women to be satisfied and they admit they don’t want to bother with their wive’s messy emotions every time they want to have sex. Logically then he has no inherent need to actually be with other women. I mean that involves all those messy emotions and such that all real women have.

    Popular thought holds that the women in porn like what they do and enjoy doing things your wife doesn’t. Some men like spending time with women and their messy emotions more than other men. So be unselfish and let her date other guys while you’re enjoying your porn! All a woman has to do is place a personal ad in Craigslist for a casual encounter and she will have her choice of men for that evening. While she’s out socializing you can indulge your wildest fantasies to your hearts content. Win, win.

  201. Lady says:

    You are an EFFING retard! THIS is why men think it is “normal” to look at porn when they have committed to ONE woman!! THANKS A LOT DOUCHEBAG! How about you pull your hand out of your pants now and join the grownups? mmmkay? Thanks.

  202. Man says:

    Ok. So I think it’d be great if girls liked sex as much as we do. We’re not trying to degrade women or disrespect our girls we just like the fantasy of a girl that WANTS to do the things that we find sexy. I don’t want a girl to give me head to make me happy, I want a girl who WANTS to give me head. Not because i think down on women but because its sexy and it feels great. So watching porn makes it easy to imagine that. Watch their faces, the girls pretend to like it.

    I watch porn maybe twice a week, and it actually boosts my sex drive believe it or not. I still have sex with my girlfriend. I can “custom fit” my hand to myself and so it feels better sometimes because she obviously can’t do that with her vagina lol.

    Maybe that doesn’t make sense. Maybe you think I just don’t respect my gf. But I’ve never cheated in 4 years and she doesn’t give me head. That’s difficult, it’s kinda like never having sex. but I can still watch porn, and who knows, maybe someday she’ll be super horny and wanna do it for me.

    Guys don’t attach many emotions to sex. It’s just super hot and it feels good. Does that make sense? We want you to WANT to do he things we fantasize about. Kinda like how you want us to be super romantic or whatever. So we like to fantasize about girls that enjoy it.

    Porn releases all kinds of chemicals in the brain, some compilations are proven to stimulate (the brain) even more than real sex, that’s wierd huh. We’re hard wired to find girls attractive and it is literally addictive. It gives you kind of a braindead euphoric feeling.

    Don’t understand why it bothers girls that guys are so guyish. But it makes sense sorta since we complain that girls AREN’T into the same things we are. Maybe instead of complaining about it, join it.

    A girl seriously asked why we do it behind your back… Because its wierd doing it in front of people lol. We had to hide it our entire lives and its embarrassing when you get walked in on. Real simple. Can’t believe you asked that. Think about how awkward it must be to jack off in front of someone.

    You’re happy that he found you attractive enough to date but now that he’s with you he’s supposed to stop being a man. He’s supposed to stop finding girls attractive…. What? At least he’s at home. He could satisfy his urges by going out but he’s not, he’s trying to satisfy himself. You should be glad. hes giving you a chance. Why does that bother you. I’m perfectly happy with my girl and I still watch porn. Yes I still like to SEE other girls. I don’t touch em.

    Testosterone raises sex drive. When u kiss a guy you get a little testosterone from his spit And it makes you horny. Imagine having 10 times that. You’d be a ill more focused on sex too.

    If he stops having sex with you cuz of porn maybe you should try the moves he’s watching, he clearly finds it hot. Maybe you’re not fulfilling his fantasies or he doesn’t wanna ask you to because you’re too prudish and would find it wierd. Maybe he’s mad at you. Maybe you’re over controlling which you’re showing with you’re disapproval of his activities.

    We’re men, were not complicated.
    Probably makes no sense since I’ve been ranting for so long I kinda lost my train of thought. But it’s a guy thing. It’s normal, so accept it. We accept that girls like romantic movies, that doesn’t mean that we also have to like them.

  203. Man says:

    You cant Compare 40 year old men to 20 year old men. You lose tons of testosterone by the time you hit 25 so your drive drops.

    Pretty obvious. Ya 40 year olds don’t care about it anymore. They’re pretty mellow. I however am 20 years old, bench 400 pounds and so have tons of testosterone. I still have a sex drive. If a guy has no drive he is considered more mature. That’s wierd. It’s not our fault we like women. It’s not objectifying women, its not degrading towards women. If you liked men as much as we like women, you wouldn’t hear us complaining.

    A relationship is an emotional commitment. Porn has zero emotions attached to it nd it’s commitment is a whole hour long lol.

    I don’t understand the hostility against a dude defending porn either….. We’re not marrying porn. We’re marrying you. If you want a woman then go marry a woman and stop trying to force us to change.

  204. Brian says:

    I only wAtch porn when I masterbate. And if I didn’t, I think I would be horny all the time. And I don’t wanna be pushy with my girlfriend. If I had to rely on her I’d feel kinda like an asshole cuz id be asking her all the time lol. I dont wanna be one of those guys that’s only in it for sex. And sometimes I feel like that you know.

    Sounds kind of homo but whatever.

  205. maya says:

    Ok. So this article focuses on the man’s needs to look at lots of naked
    Women and as many plastic boobs as possible?
    Of course women have a problem with porn!!!!!!
    We don’t want our men to look at other women, much like men
    Don’t want their women to look at other men. ” women see it as gross and
    Men see it as being sexy”. Honey, there are plenty of men I think are sexy.
    Celebrities and regular people. I don’t have to see them
    Playinh with their woohoos to enjoy. Wanna know something? My boyfriend
    Wants to punch their lights out. Not because I’m watching them have
    Sex, or even looking at them naked, but because I think they’re fine
    And he is jealous. So there’s your double standard. Of course women
    Hate porn. Decent people don’t watch it anyway.

  206. Love The Comments says:

    After pouring through all of the comments, I am amused by so many male responses noting that men have the need to have sex much more often than women. So I suppose they know all of the women in the world? I desire sex every single day and went though a marriage for over 20 years with a dysfunctional now ex-husband that just did not want to be in a true relationship. I am extremely desirable and love variety. Finally divorced, I decided to just wait to find my match. After being in an incredible relationship for over 3 years, I realized that clear communication about expectations sexually is a must. My boyfriend is 16 years younger and has no desire or need to seek visual stimuli of strangers. I did not care if he wanted to look at porn early on in the relationship as I did not know if we were going to hang in there for the long run. After three months, he said he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. I then noted his porn days would then be over and if this was ok with him, he could have me and only me. I would be there for him 100% and devote my life to him.. to desire him more and more each day, to cook and do laundry, to make life wonderful for him each day. If he decides to chose porn, I will move on as I have men that keep emailing and texting asking if I am still with my boyfriend. I share this with him, even the pictures of huge cocks that men send to me (one man was from craigslist who came with his wife to by furniture from me and noted that he could not stop thinking about me. I emailed back and told him to focus on his wife or divorce her as it is not fair to anyone to be in this type of relationship. Life is too short). Men need to understand that woman have other options and they are not the only man on the planet. I am the luckiest female as I have found someone that loves to be with me and share his life with me. We both do not want this incredible feeling to go away, therefore, he is a gentleman and I am an honorable woman. It is all about respect. I have two sons who are in their late teens and 20s. I have open conversations with them since porn is so readily available. I want them to have healthy, awesome sex lives and hope they take my advice. To me, porn is an issue, both for those single and more so if you are in a relationship. It is not real. It is an awful industry that helps makers of ED pills richer as they have linked porn to ED problems now. No one had ED back in the day. Now younger males do and have created a problem for them to experience the thrill of sex with a live, vivacious partner. Don’t let comments that porn is not a problem. I am a researcher and love to look at data. All the comments above a subjective and biased among those that think it is not an issue and try to stereotype the wiring of males and females. I am more sexual than my partner and that worries him. I am more like a male and that worries him. I am glad that he worries. I know he won’t be getting off alone as I know he knows the risk… losing me. Relationships can be hard if no one understands expectations and desires. Clarify these things early on and respect and love yourself. For those in marriages and relationships with men that are too lazy to pleasure you, move on. There are plenty of males that can do this and not feel they need porn on the side.

  207. Love The Comments says:

    One other thing I forgot to mention is that I so feel for the woman that commented about her husband refusing to have sex with her and waits for her to go to bed to tend to his own needs and desires. She wanted sex one particular night. He was too tired. She fell asleep and awoke to find him masturbating to porn. She was nice enough, even though devastated, to ask if he desired to finish off with her in THEIR bed. He said no and went to bed. Waking up a few hours later, he was at it again by himself at his computer. What an absolute douche. Not a man. A slug. I hope she has enough love for herself to divorce him and find a real man for a real woman.

  208. Amber says:

    What I find interesting are the rebuttals from guys over the girl’s complaints that porn is upsetting:

    (1) “women should take into consideration the fact. That if they owned up to their partners sexual needs, they wouldn’t have a reason to watch porn.”

    You’re missing all the women here who DO own up to their partners’ sexual needs. Giving him quickies with no reciprocation, sex whenever he wants (I’ve rejected my partner ONCE in our four years together, and I took it back a few minutes later; he has rejected me dozens of times in favor of porn), blowjobs galore, lights on, my clothes off but his clothes on if he prefers it… The question you’re not asking is, what sexual needs do women have that their husbands aren’t meeting? If, as a woman, a guy isn’t meeting YOUR sexual needs, you won’t really be tempted to have sex with him anymore, will you? He thinks going down on you is disgusting, there’s no foreplay or lube so he finishes quickly and you don’t at all (you barely even begin), he never wants slow sex, he never tells you how hot you are, he doesn’t undress you sensually or himself, he doesn’t treat you like your sexuality is special even though you treat him like his is… Of course women don’t want to have sex with someone who doesn’t make them feel good about it. And then add in porn? Salt in wound. He’ll watch another naked woman, get off to her, think she’s hot, but won’t make the effort to make sex special for his real woman.

    (2) “Men will always watch porn. They enjoy it, get over it. Unless they are addicted to it (and no, beating off once a day does not count for addiction) it’s not like they are actually cheating on you, its their nature. They will love you either way, trust me. Just let them revel in their manhood.”

    And what does love have to do with it? Yes, love matters, love is special. But we’re talking about sex, not love. Your argument of a man still loving you completely invalidates what a woman’s sexuality is, since you’re arguing about a man’s sexuality. What is a woman’s sexuality to you? Many women get turned on knowing that their partner finds her hot and only has eyes for her vagina – if you’re married, it’s actually in your vows! Forsake all others means, don’t ogle some other woman’s vagina, get it?

    (3) “If you’re not satisfied with your sex life and feel your man is neglecting you, TALK TO HIM. Have a serious conversation. Communicate. Make it clear that you need more sexual attention from him. Ask them why they don’t want more sex with you. If they find the same old sex boring, then there are tons of things you can do to spice up your sex life. Just google a bit.”

    While this is a good suggestion… suppose we have tried that? The communicating thing? Suppose we’re actually the ones with the higher sex drive. Suppose we’ve asked for sex and were rejected, asked what our partners want us to do different but were ignored, asked to watch porn with our partners but we’re laughed at? Suppose our partners shut us down and accuse us of being nagging, jealous bitches? THEN whose fault is it that we’re not on the same page sexually? Another reality about guys: they HATE being nagged and assume that “talking about it” is a woman’s pasttime. Also that if the sex life is boring, it’s the woman’s job to spice it up since, presumably, her drive is lower? Um, no. If I can dress like a hooker and try to spice it up (blow jobs from me are so routine that they’re not “spicing” anything up – like I said, I give them several times a week!), the least he could do is go down on me more than my birthday every year. And he could probably do a lot more.

    (4) “Look, men get tired of their sexual partner, it just happens. The whole point and fun of sex is having it with new people, going out and meeting someone and playing the whole courting game and getting laid, it isn’t a difficult concept to grasp.
    Porn allows you to deal with the fact that you’re tired of a woman without having to go out or your way and say “hey, the sex was nice, peace” If anything porn doesn’t cause me to withhold sex from a partner, it allows me to get some freshness and creativity it my sex life, and then sleeping with my partner isn’t a chore, it is like going back to a past flame, it is familiar, but not so damn boring.”

    So suppose I got tired of only my partner getting to see my body – it’s OK for me to go out and let other men see, even if it’s just in photos? Because if he gets tired of my naked body, it’s totally cool for him to go look at someone else’s, right? Believe it or not, some people find sex to be special and prefer exclusivity with it. My partner’s the only one whose naked body I get to see, and he’s the only one who gets to see mine. So it’s like this: I only see his body, he sees mine and everyone else’s, and no one else sees mine or his. He’s special to me, but I am NOT special to him. I don’t go complimenting other men’s sexuality, and he’s not supposed to be complimenting other women’s sexuality – but he does, even by watching them have sex and not me. I am monogamous in body and emotion to my partner. But here he is admiring another woman’s most intimate assets. Not merely watching a hot actress… Actually seeing one nude and seeing what the inside of her pussy looks like. And comparing. I don’t see other men’s penises, he shouldn’t be seeing other women’s vaginas.

    (5) “She denies that there is any similarity between my occasional porn watching and her book, but I can tell that she gets really unsecure when she starts arguing which is never like her.”

    Not all of us read romance novels. I don’t. But for those who do, I refuse to see them as identical to porn UNTIL the novels come with actual porn videos with real people* recreating the acts in the book, from a *woman’s* perspective. Until porn videos exist that can go through a video *without* showing a woman’s face even *once*, and only focuses on the guy’s body, erecting penis, face closeups, and words, and the guys in them aren’t old enough to be our grandfathers, and these videos become mainstream, porn will always be men’s endeavor.

    *Is it weird that I’d feel less threatened if my husband watched animated porn? Porn without real women? It’s not the porn I mind, it’s that he’s watching an actual other woman have sex and getting closeups on her body, and admiring her. I’ve never seen him look that long at me, and it wouldn’t bug me either – except that him watching porn PROVES he has the attention span, he’s just spending it elsewhere.

    (6) “Those are the only two options, unless you want him to cheat. If your husband is unsatisfied and you “forbid” porn without giving him an outlet for his sexual desires, that’s exactly what is going to happen.”

    And what are a wife’s options if she is unsatisfied sexually? What does her husband think it’s OK for her to do?

    (7) “Good means affection. Show your desired for your man. Tell your man that he is sexy. Dont initiate sex with him because you want to feel sexy and desired. Its egoistical. Men dont need orgasm with women. We can get it from jack off to porn. We want to make love.”

    Really? Where is it then? Where are our guys telling us we’re sexy? Where are our guys initiating slow lovemaking? That’s what I thought – they’re watching porn!

    Yeah, it is egoistical that we want to feel sexy while we’re having sex (a lot of us also like the great orgasms too, but our guys don’t always try to get us there, do they?). So would it just be better if they start making some great girl-oriented porn and we can all enjoy our computers in peace? He with his fleshlight, me with my vibrator, both with our porn? Neither of us making each other feel special sexually? Let’s see how he’d like it if I’d stop calling him hot. He’d probably seek it from someone else and say I wasn’t love him enough. And the women are considered egoistical for wanting to hear from her PARTNER that he thinks she’s sexy?

  209. Love The Comments says:

    Love Amber’s remarks. So on point. Unfortunately, so many women settle into a one-sided relationship. The moment my boyfriend leaves for work he texts me and notes how much he loves and aches for ME. We anxiously anticipate seeing each other when we come home and spend the rest of the night doing things together and with my children. We truly cherish each waking moment together and cannot bear the thought of not having each other in our lives. This has been going on for more than three years and I hope it lasts until I die. It is the best drug…absolute and true love. I found a man that can feel my needs, reads my eyes and knows my thoughts. He loves to touch and slowly kiss, every single day. A dying breed.

  210. e777 says:

    Back in the day if you read like the bible and stuff men never had to stay with one women, look at all the patriarchs in the bible how many women did they have?? alot! The kings and emperors of the past had maybe a main queen chick but then had concubines and harems of women. The muslims believe when they die as martyrs they go to heaven with 17 or whatever virgins, buddhists have the dakinis or female goddesses, in the animal kingdom the male animal never really stays with same partner, some are able to do this, some are not into porn, I enjoy the visual aspect of porn to me its art and pleasure, I enjoy looking at a beautiful female forms, and using my imagination. I am not the married committed type I tried to be married and committed but it didn’t work for me, its just my personality. i would definitely be the guy with the harem, and concubines, one women while pleasant to have at times is not enough for me. I think western women with christian upbringing are too repressed sexually, combine that with the femininst movement, and you have a bad mix, men are polygamous by nature, our society is too restrictive still and sees too many things as a sin that are naturual like sex between adults and viewing this, not all men are into porn some are some are not if you dont like it then try to find a guy that doesnt like to watch it. best of luck trying to change human nature.

  211. love the comments says:

    what a crock of shit e777. Back in the day women didn’t have the rights that men had. You think that christian women are suppressed sexually?? Why are you bringing religion into this? I am spiritual and yet do not buy into man made religion. I am probably more sexual than you are and have decided to assume that you have yet to meet your match in a mate. Good luck to you when you are old and alone. I have found my life partner and he is definitely my match sexually. He gets it. All I can tell you is that if you ever find someone that you ache for when they leave the house and cannot stop thinking about them and your desire builds throughout the day for them, then you found your match.

  212. Rosa says:

    e777 “i would definitely be the guy with the harem, and concubines” well maybe you would have been if you were lucky enough to be rich and powerful, however for every man with a harem of say 20 women there would have been 19 men with no woman at all (assuming that there are approx. the same number of women and men alive at any time). Assuming that you were one of the rich and powerful men would you really enjoy sex knowing that the girls only slept with you because they were forced to do so and probably hated your guts?

    Back in today’s world, if you want to be polygamous what is stopping you? While I realise that polygamy isn’t recognised legally, there is no reason whatsoever why you shouldn’t live with as many girls as you want to. Provided they want to live with you in a polygamous relationship there is nothing to stop you. So long as you are honest I personally don’t have a problem if that is your choice, good luck to you. My friend’s son doesn’t want to settle down and has numerous partners, but then he is very good looking, charming and with a good job, he doesn’t need the law to force girls to have sex with him!!

  213. Leela says:

    This article was supposed to make me feel better.

    I’m just disgusted right now and even more scared.
    By the way, intelligent to compare masturbating in front of porn and shopping. Of course I always touch myself when I try on new shoes and the salesman bends over. You guys just found more and more excuses and women keep being hurt.

    I do not have sex dreams of Ryan Gosling after watching the Notebook, this is not like watching porn. So these comparaisons you guys made are BULL SHIT BULL SHIT BULL SHIT.

    No matter what we do you just never have enough and made us believe that us WOMEN are the ones never happy and always asking for me.

    Fxck this.

  214. Daniel says:

    Real men appreciate the woman they have at home and have no need to be zoned in on other girls like that. Or maybe I’m just use to dating gorgeous women so never had a need for porn. I always thought only the guys that can’t get beautiful women watched that stuff but sounds like I’m out of the loop or something. I’d rather make my own with my lady then watch one of someone else.

  215. Kathleen says:

    This article is supposed to promote understanding between the sexes & make women somehow feel better about and sympathetic about their partners use of porn???? WTF????
    Actually surprised the guy who wrote this crock had the time to remove his hand from his “little man ” and pick up a pen. After all, it is so damn important that he exercise his right to feel good , have lots of “variety ” and just generally behave like a 15 year old, that has just discovered sex.
    Jerking off to porn is like women shopping for shoes? Again, WTF??????
    Like shopping for shoes, my ass! Unless I have a salesmen with a 12 ” dick, and i ask that he show it to me so I can get off, but quickly because my husband might catch me, as he is just around the corner.
    I am so glad I grew up before this ubiquitous Internet porn was available. I fear for my sons -and for younger women who have to put up with this evil which is destroying relationships , and infantilizing men – turning them into selfish freaks like so many who have posted here.
    I.have done my best to raise responsible, caring people in spite of this, as Leela so aptly put it , BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT, BULL SHIT!
    These guys’ women ( if they are lucky enough to have a woman who actually tries to put up with and understand this BS ) – well, these gals will eventually wise up, get tired of being made to feel like a receptacle and of feeling less than, and will leave them to their ” little man” and their porn stars. Taking the kids, the house and whatever else they so deserve, after living with the hell that their self indulgent partners have put them through.
    All for some airbrushed fantasy. Old and alone – oh well, these guys can take solace that they don’t have to put up with women and their sometimes messy emotions and thei less than perfect bodies. These Adonis guys who always deserve woman who is a 10 . Hey, rose colored lenses are great. ( no man boobs, hairy backs or receding hairlines in his world) . Sad thing, his wife who loved him, but got tired of feeling like shit, she didn’t even notice all the ugly stuff on his body because, guess what, she was silly enough to think that love and commitment and wedding vows meant something besides ” love, honor and forsaking all others, except for masturbating to porn women several times a week” . Silly wife, silly women…..
    Glad I have a great sexy marriage and a person who actually gets what it means to be committed, kind of like most of the women who have posted seem to get it. Wonder what is wrong with the male side of this equation?

  216. Denny says:

    Okay, so the guy who wrote this article might have some issues, but a guy watching porn and getting off is not inherently bad or immoral. If you think it is, you should take a step back and try to figure out what cultural influence or religious influence has programmed you that way.

    Frankly, which part is it that people are freaking out about, anyway? The watching porn, or the jacking off? Or do you have a problem with them both individually? Because sometimes I jack off in the shower without any visual stimuli except my own memories and imagination, and it’s not always my wife on my mind. How much different is that from watching it on a screen? Sometimes, when I watch porn and get off, I’m imagining it’s my wife I’m looking at. Still a problem?

    Also, one fun thing my wife and I do is take showers together. In addition to other more “normal” things, she loves to show off her awesome body to me while I jack off. Is there a problem there? My wife and I have a pretty good sex life, except perhaps that she turns me down a bit more often than I would like… but she’s so damn hot all the time that I’ve constantly got sex on the brain, so I’m not resentful. I understand she can only handle so much – lol!

    C’mon people! This is so simple.

    It’s all about context. If the guy isn’t satisfying his wife/girlfriends sexual needs because of jacking off, that’s a big problem. Either it’s an addiction (his fault) or he is not attracted to the wife/girlfriend (her fault!). Unless a man’s testosterone has truly diminished, he needs to get off at times. If she wants him to do it with her, she needs to change things so that she’s both accessible and attractive to him. If she’s inaccessible and/or unattractive, it’s her fault he’s getting off in some other way. If he’s got an addiction, and you really care, you’ve got to take the place of the addiction – get him addicted to you, instead. Come with a variety of new “activities” (expand your boundaries for him) as well as looks – hair style/color, brightly colored clothes followed by subdued earth tones the next day, themed outfits (all guys love cheerleaders!), different and bold makeup, keep the heels and leggings on in bed – c’mon ladies, it’s not that hard to make us hard! Honestly, you can take some cues on sexy style from porn, but never, NEVER, take any cues from the actual sexual activities in porn. Fake moaning, fake orgasms, sex positions that only work with a guy that can bench 200 and is hung like a horse… no, don’t do it because then he WILL draw a direct comparison, and you will fail head-to-head with the “professionals” in a competition.

    If the wife/girlfriend isn’t sexually satisfying her man, she needs to solve that problem. No man should be expected to stay in an unsatisfying relationship – it’s contrary to his nature and can be downright agony. He’ll stray to a real girl instead of just the porn if the opportunity presents itself as easily as porn does. Ladies re-read that last sentence and fully comprehend it. If he’s unsatisfied, he will cheat if the opportunity is there and the situation passes a quick cost-benefit analysis. Every man (with decent testosterone) does the quick cost-benefit analysis with every sexual opportunity that comes along, whether it’s fleeting or even if it’s not really even an opportunity except in HIS head. And I mean EVERY MAN does this EVERY TIME. If they can’t own up to this simple truth, they’re lying. If you’re not sexually satisfying him, you better hope you’ve got your heels sunk really deep in his heart, or he’s otherwise deeply invested in you – EVERY DAY. Or you can just let him jack off.

    Then there’s the healthy porn / jack-off situation. Girl is happy with guy, guy is happy with girl. Girl recognizes guy’s sexual nature and let’s him roam occasionally with this safe and convenient outlet, as opposed to actual contact with another girl. Guy recognizes girl’s nature and shows her how much she loves and appreciates her and eases her mind by making it entirely clear that porn is completely insignificant compared to her body and her sexual attention, as well as satisfying her sexually.

    Ladies, want to turn the tables on porn? Stop fighting it and use it to your advantage. You can’t change man’s nature – it’s just stupid to try to fight it – so try these tips instead:

    Situation #1: Girl is on her period, guy thinks resorting to porn, in secret, for satisfaction is a logical and convenient option. He doesn’t want her to feel bad for not being able to take care of him this week, and he doesn’t want to be unsatisfied all week. Besides the obvious alternatives (her mouth, her ass, her hands, her boobs, etc.):

    Solution #1: Girl gets sexy and poses and flirts and teases while he jacks off watching her instead of porn. Ladies, don’t be surprised if for some reason it’s important to him to get more of his seed on you than on himself.

    Solution #2: Girl chooses a porn video to watch (she’s keeping herself whole by continuing to be responsible for his satisfaction even in the porn arena) and he watches it while she does all the work – with her mouth or K-Y Jelly’d hands – while she’s completely focused on him and ignoring the video. If he’s a porn-watcher, this is probably a dirty fantasy of his anyway and he will adore you for it. From experience ladies, he’ll probably end up not paying as much attention to that video as you think.

    Solution #3: If you’ve got a shower that has darker, earth-toned tiling or will otherwise mask the sight of blood (like mine, lucky me!), invite him to take a shower and let him have his way with you. No mess, super-easy cleanup if you even have to cleanup at all, and no one is likely to be grossed out.

    Anyway, I’ve written enough. My point is, ladies, that if you’re having a problem with your man watching porn, and he isn’t suffering from low testosterone, you’re just as much to blame. Your sex life, together, is a team effort.

  217. No says:

    This article has done nothing, but build up more resenrment in me. You’re saying that I can’t be the be all to end all of my man’s sex life. There is no comfort in thinking that one woman is not enough for one man. How would you like to always have it hanging over your head that your woman is always staring at other guys butts and bulges and that even though you satisfy her, she needs the assistance of OTHER men from sex videos.

  218. Tonya says:

    BULLSHIT!!! This article is a lame ass attempt to rationalize male behavior. As the article is written, it simply uses male logic of giving actually reasons they watch, but within that explanation gives the exact reason why it is not okay!

  219. Katie Garcia says:

    So by saying “it doesn’t matter…it’s all visual fantasy” , you would think it’s ok for a pedophile to fantasize over little kids’ pictures, and you don’t see what the big deal is? Open up your fucking eyes! So sad and pathetic. People always make up excuses for why they want to do things in a marriage that doesn’t constitue as cheating. So then your wife wouldn’t mind a naked woman stripping in front of you huh. Motherfucker, masterbate to that and you’re wife will be perfectly fine. Oh, but don’t worry. You’re not touching her just your fucking dick. Same thing right? Lmfao. Please.

  220. jo says:

    Women what would you rather, him watching porn or going out shagging anyone behind your back, watch it with him learn some stuff or fuck off cos your obviously not compatible as you don’t like the same thing, I watch porn with my husband and I enjoy it as much as him, think about it girls !!!! It’s not real they arnt gonna pop out of the tv and start sucking him off in front of you!!!!!!! Get a grip!!!! (On his knob,dildo or if you got a magic tv the porn star that’s got massive tits and asses, that’s gonna jump out and steal your man )

  221. Rosa says:

    Jo – thank you for making me laugh:-) But the point you make about it not being real is one point of view which divides women who get upset and those who don’t. The women in porn are real live women, if your man was in the same room as a naked prostitute (without your knowledge) and your man asked her to touch herself right in front of him so that he was aroused and masturbated would you still feel the same way?

    For myself I have no problem with a couple watching porn together, provided the actors haven’t been trafficked and coerced) it is when a woman stumbles upon the fact her man has been secretly viewing God-only-knows-what, while your own life goes down the pan, that I feel upset, but I think you have to have been there yourself to understand that.

  222. Sara says:

    I have been together with my boyfriend for four months now and I noticed two weeks ago that he is watching porn when I am not around. At first I was annoyed about it but my friend told me not to worrie. But after two days when I sat on the couch waiting for him to come out from the office so we could order food, I walked over ther (15 seconds walk) and he was mastrubating to porn. I was like “really, are you doing this when I am around you?” Don’t get me wrong here, I am 24 years old and very sexual and I am so turned on about him. Then he is 43, and when we met on the first dates he told me about what he liked sexually from a women, which I totally fulfill and I do even more than that. Like I said we have been together for four months and he was all over me in the beginning, we could not even go out on the street with out him getting a major hard on. And now, I have to beg for sex.. He says he has a lot on his mind and are too exhausted to have sex, but he can jerk off when I am in the same apt but to girls in a porno?? Please can someone help me understand his behavior? I am simply loosing my mind and loosing my confidence!! He said that he wants to hunt me, but he is clearly not hunting me!

  223. mrs.chica31 says:

    I’ve been with my man for a while now. But I’m experiencing this same I call it a “epidemic”. I just don’t understand. How looking at another females naked body and having sexually fantasies about that female is OK. When all the while you have your woman laying next to you. Why is it ok to create in securities in your woman. Why make her feel like she is no one important. Why make her jealous of another woman who you would rather be with. Why even have a a commitment to that woman at all. Why waste her time. Smh

  224. devastated says:

    Porn ruins everything.
    Women are already body conscious and to know that your man jacks off to naked women when he could be with you is the most disturbing thing ever. To be with someone for so long, knowing that they would rather touch themselves to naked scumbags on the Internet than be with their partner.
    It’s really made me lose every bit of confidence i had.
    To be compared to them. I’ve never felt so insecure.

  225. Monica says:

    It hurts and doesn’t make me feel loved or wanted and used. And that he doesn’t like what he has in me. As well as he is cheating and would cheat?

  226. Maria says:

    If your partners not ok with you watching porn then don’t watch it. If you can’t go without watching porn then stay single. In my eyes, If you’re watching porn behind your partners back that is pretty much cheating. This article is absolutely ridiculous. If my boyfriend was interested in watching porn I would want him to talk to me about it, we could watch it together. He knows that I would chuck him if he watches it behind my back. I see no need for it and it really hurts when you find out your partner has been watching it behind your back. If you respect your girlfriend and she doesn’t want you to watch it then don’t. Men are not going to die from not watching porn. Pathetic article.

  227. neon says:

    The problem is that women get very complacent and settled in marriages. They are either too tired, headache, watching tv, or concerned about work the next day. Then you expect the man to wait on a perfect time and day that works for you. Now you complain about men looking at these women with nice boobs, round butts, and nice bodies, However, you guys will go to work and look like glamour models and then come to bed dressed like farmers. The guy at work gets to see your best makeup, high heels, tight dress, and strong perfume. Your guy at home sees the hair scarfs, funny colored socks, and great grandmother night gown. Well, guess what the woman on the screen is wearing exactly what your supposed to be sleeping in. The woman on the screen are doing the things you PROMISED to do before you said your vows. The problem here is that you guys want to look at the men and point fingers but you need to take a hard look at yourself. You guys are quick to point out how men are so wrong for this but everyone woman I have had a relationship with I told her what I expected and guess what she agreed. Every single time they have gone back on their end of the bargain, so why should I honor mine.

  228. Rexx says:

    Wow, this comment thread is living proof that women are just as sexist as men and refuse to understand men at all.

  229. Lets set the record straight says:

    Ok, I am a female, I also used to be very prudish, I too used to think that ogling porns was weird. took some time but them barriers came down. I now understand sex is about excitement, new experiences, freshness. Ur man may not want to go out their and cheat but does he fantasise about other women from time to time, hell yeah, would that be lessened if u were less prudish, hell yeah. do i as a straight female enjoy porn now, hell yeah. do I watch it with my hands in the same place that a mans hand would be? You catch my drift. I tell my man when Ive played with myself while watching porn and he does the same. Its our little way of saying, I’ve been real horny lately baby and in fact, Im ready for the real thing. frankly I think a lot of women need to grown up. if u took ur head out the bible for long enough u wud realise that sex is a great thing to be explored. I am now wat i dud have refereed to as a pervert and bloody loving it :-p

  230. Avi says:

    To all the girls complaining here: women can not keep up with a mans sex drive no matter how much you think you want it, you don’t want it nearly as much as him. You would be ok doing it once every other day and think you have a ‘high sex drive’. Until you have a desire to do it 4x a day, thank the internet for porn. As long as he is open with you that he’s always doing it, you have a perfect relationship.

  231. Lawson says:

    i disagree with this article for one simple reason. masturbation is about fantasy, and in a healthy sexual relationship you will fantasize about YOUR PARTNER. i do it all the time- and i’ve been doing adult entertainment web games and comics for a living for years. i can CHOOSE to dive into my work and use that instead of real companionship, but it never satisfies like a real partner and in the long run definitely affects my performance.

    If your man can’t fantasize about YOU (and admit that he does frequently) you do not have a healthy sexual relationship. Men are animals and we need animal attraction- if that part is missing (and trust attraction DOES grow with love and affection), the relationship is already fractured.

    Porn is completely unnecessary in a healthy relationship- and sure he will see things that are hot- a girl’s outfit here, a sexy badgirl in the movie you watch together, but it IS possible to appreciate that stuff without running off and masturbating about it.

    I’m currently single and i STILL fantasize about exes all the time. Every physical relationship is different, and you learn every time. Real romance, love, and hot hot sex all work together- creating the best fantasy there is.

  232. kate says:

    This is a big lie to women everywhere. all liars will be turned over to the lake of fire which is the second death. Jesus plainly tells us that if a man looks at another woman in lust then he has already committed adultery with her. Jesus is the final say on truth and lies the world tells. I don’t care if you hate me for stating it either.. you also will one day die and stand before the final judgement. The works of the flesh are not acceptable to God. Read about it and be enlightened for once in your life. Makes no difference to Jesus either if you believe what he told you.. he is the final authority. Men do not just watch porn occasionally… it is all the time they have spare time.. it is either porn or football or nascar.. who cares what the excuses are anymore.. I don’t. You tune out of your relationships instead of becoming committed to improving them… you will be judged.

  233. Adrian says:

    In all truth, I watch porn to learn some things about what to do in bed. But, I must say, for me the need to watch porn has declined drastically in my 20’s. I don’t even watch it anymore. It was more something I did as a teenager. Maybe men who watch it just never grew up?

  234. Antonia says:

    Being a woman who is in a relationship—- I look at porn once in a while, and I don’t have a problem with my man looking at it either from time to time. I know that when I watch it, it doesn’t make me want my boyfriend any less, nor do I fantasize about being with the men that I see watching porn. There is no reason why I should think that I am not the most important woman in his life, and there is no reason to think that watching porn is cheating…… Him and I are both very sexual and very much in love with each other. As for me, I may find something in porn that I would like to try with my man and sometimes I get aroused a little easier at certain times of the month. For him, well….. I don’t really care about the reason. I know he isn’t cheating on me, and I know that he loves me and only me, and I love the fact that he is a very sexual creature. If a woman is bothered by her man watching porn sometimes, just means that those women are insecure about their selves and their relationship…. AND for the person saying that a woman’s sex drive could never live up to a mans sex drive ( or whatever she said)….. She should only be speaking of herself, not all women. Being a woman, I have just as much sex drive as he does and maybe a little bit more…… I don’t understand anyone who says they don’t enjoy sex. It is the same kind of women who say that porn is cheating, who doesn’t ever give their relationships a chance because they are always trying to find reasons to make their partner wrong….. Just be happy he is not out really cheating on you, and just except that it is what it is and you cant do anything to change it.

  235. Jillian says:

    Oh boy, where do I even start with this?

    I’m a woman, and I enjoy porn. I’ll go through phases, sometimes i’ll watch it every day or two, and sometimes I’ll go months without watching it at all. I’m atypical to most females, where I actually like some of the more hardcore stuff…particularly lesbian (even though I an straight), and occasionally threesomes and I guess just regular old male/female. While watching porn, I generally do fantasize about other people, but usually only people I know in real life. If I’m in a relationship, I watch porn and think about him doing those naughty things to me. If i’m single, I think about an ex-lover who I had good sexual chemistry with, or even a guy that i’m dating and haven’t slept with yet. It’s called fantasy for a reason.

    Oh, and I also read Fifty Shades and loved it…and yes ladies, it is a form of porn. Just because there isn’t video or pictures (yet), doesn’t make it any less porn…It’s called erotica for a reason.

    With that being said, I don’t have any problem with my guy watching porn, as long as it’s not all the time, and doesn’t effect our sex life. I’d definitely be turned off/repulsed by some of the nastier stuff out there – snuff type porn, torture (not to be confused with BDSM, which I am into), and rape scenes (shiver, there’s enough willing females in the porn world, go find one of them). I’ve enjoyed watching porn on occasion with a few of my exs, and as long as porn doesn’t become a problem, who cares? It can be fun, and watching it together and trying to “re-create” what they’re doing can add some new excitement into your sex life!

    Now, there are times that it does become a problem. When I was very young I dated this gorgeous guy who liked to get super wild and nasty (I have no problem with this). We had a great sex life for most of our relationship. We moved in together, and while I’m not positive, I’m pretty sure toward the end he was cheating. He stopped wanting to have sex with me, and I’d often wake up to him watching porn. He’d watch it while I was at work, while I was asleep, anytime and every time he could, to the point where it became an obsession. I still can’t pinpoint to this day exactly where our relationship made a turn for the worse, but I knew I had to get out of there. We clearly had issues that the two of us couldn’t resolve, for whatever reason. I learned later that he wanted to do even more intense things in bed, but was afraid to ask me. He came across some girl who wanted to do these things, and while I don’t know if he strayed or not, she planted little seeds into his mind that he could get more than what i was giving from her.

    Anyways, the point of my story is that we were young, and we weren’t right for each other. Whatever his reasons for not being able to open up to me were his own. He knew a lot about my past (I was sexually assaulted as a teenager), and maybe he thought the trauma of that would prevent me from wanting to try new things, or he felt ashamed to even ask me, or whatever the reason. I was a little more inhibited back then, and while it’s taken me years to get to the point I’m at now, 90% of the time i’m with someone I trust and love, i’m comfortable with trying anything new. I do have my bad days, but I’m not afraid to speak my mind and tell my partner that I just can’t at the moment. Maybe I was just too much for him to handle and he sort of cracked under the stress…who knows? The point is, I know it wasn’t all my fault, nor was it all his.

    Porn didn’t exactly ruin our relationship, it was just one of many contributing factors. I’m honestly glad it happened before we got married or anything, and I’m sorry to see that a lot of other women on here aren’t nearly as lucky. But I can say from personal experience that unless your man is actually addicted to porn, that isn’t the only problem in your relationship. If he’s stopped sleeping with you, it’s for a different reason. It’s not all your fault, or all his fault. You clearly both aren’t getting what you need, so why not be an adult and try and talk about it? If he brushes you off, try again when he is in a better mood, or the oppurtunity presents itself.

    If he still blocks you at every turn, than my advice would honestly have to be accept it or move on. It seems like a lot of women posting here absolutely hate porn, and are pissed that there men are watching it. Isn’t this a conversation you should be having with him, instead of posting on an internet blog about? Maybe I’m too liberal and grew up in a different time, but if/when I do get married, my husband will know my stance on porn before we tie the knot, especially if I hated it with a burning passion. Sex, and thus masturbation and even porn is a fundamental need of the human species, why would you want to marry someone if you don’t have any idea if you are sexually compatible? I understand that a lot of people used to, and still do get married when they are virgins, and are maybe uncomfortable talking about this kind of stuff, but if it’s that important to you, why wait so long to say anything?

    Life’s too short to waste with people that make you anything less than happy.

  236. J says:

    Everyone has different reasons and justifications against or for porn. And almost always, they have a point, and you have to agree with them if you truly put yourself in their shoes. I can honestly say I have read about 98% of these comments, except the ones with bad grammar. And this took a period of several days of random moments during the day where I had to wait for something. Really gave me the time to reflect on specific comments.

    I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions. And everyone should find someone that share the same opionions about porn or at least an honest compromise where both parties agree.

  237. Not Born Yesterday says:

    I know my 75-year old husband watches porn on our SHARED PC – I have caught him a number of times and each time I confront him, he apologizes and says he’s sorry and he doesn’t know why he does it and he’s not going to do it again – sound like a small child ? – he has no intention of stopping. My problem is that several years ago he had prostate cancer – got that taken care of – since then there has been absolutely NO sex of any kind between us. Nothing. Nada. I understand the age thing, but it still hurts and disappoints to know he has no feelings for me – doesn’t want to touch me – but watches porn alot. And BTW – he only apologizes because he gets caught – This is seriously affecting our relationship or lack of one. I don’t know what to do next. I don’t like him at all and it’s getting worse.

  238. Giles says:

    It’s funny because a woman can pig out and grow a fat ass and gut, and beefy old jowls, and she will complain that porn has ruined her sex life.

  239. Giles says:

    Most women don’t have time to watch porn. They are too busy getting screwed in front of a video camera while making porn to actually have time to sit down and watch porn.

  240. Helen says:

    I get really annoyed every time someone is trying to justify men watching porn by saying “well women watch romantic comedies/read romance novels, it’s really the same thing”. Yeah, in a way it is. But not all women like either of those. I loathe romcoms with a passion and I’ve never even read a single romance novel (or 50 Shades of Gray, which I’ve heard is just terrible) and I read more than the average person. Out of ALL of my female friends, only 1 of them reads romance novels and has read 50 Shades whereas all the men I know watch porn (or said they did), and I know a lot more women than men. Bottom line, if you looked at the amount of men who watch porn and the amount of women who watch romantic comedies/chick flicks/read romance novels, it would not be even – the amount of men would be overwhelmingly larger. Just because chicflicks are called chickflicks don’t assume that ALL “chicks” like them.

  241. ForReal says:

    Oh yeah, and I forgot. I read a few comments saying “We have sex a lot and he still watches porn” QUANTITY does not matter! Its QUALITY! I would much rather have two amazing sessions a week than four same ole same ole sessions.

  242. aj says:

    Let’s face it people!! If men and women were genetically designed to be with “one mate” for the rest of our lives, then men and women would never “cheat” or pursue “variety.” We would be like wolves who would commit to one mate during their lifetime. Think about it… nearly ALL mammals “mate” with several of their kind-it’s to produce genetically different offspring to promote the survival of a species. Humans aren’t much different when you think about it; but, we are born with an “advanced brain” to where we can develop the type of societies people live in throughout the world. Just because we live in developed societies does not mean humans’ basic biological drives will be “wiped” out. Society has taught us to be a couple and raise children together, but, it will not “change” the way humans are wired.

    Me?? I am a female who has always preferred a monogamous relationship, and at one time would be upset if my man viewed porn. Of course, I figured it was because I wasn’t quite “good enough.” I am currently a 50 year old Hispanic female (American born and raised!) and am a naturally attractive woman. Throughout the years, I have become a much wiser individual, and have learned to adjust to the ways of humans in general. I can’t stop anybody from doing whatever it is they want to do. So… the best way for me to live my life is first of all, understand who “I am,” my likes, dislikes, what I will tolerate/not tolerate, and decide what personality of man I would be best with; as a couple, would we be compatible together?? If a disagreement comes up, how do we handle it? Well, I have finally met that compatible person-never thought I would, but by changing my way of viewing relationships, I made it happen!

    So… Through life, the majority of people learn that we will face changes in our lives that we may least expect. Coming from a woman’s point of view, if at one point, your sex life was great and there wasn’t any or much porn include, and WOW, it happens, your man seems “obsessed with it and you are neglected. Try to work it out first if possible-discussions, counseling, etc. Of course, some relationships will improve, some won’t.

    Back to the porn thing… does my man view it? Yes he does. Basically, I have accepted it to a certain extent, meaning, he is not addicted to it and it hasn’t hurt our sex life. he is the best man I have had a relationship with because we can communicate with each other in a mature, respectful way. Heck I’ve seen so many movies with him where there is female/male nudity and I don’t have an issue with that (programs such as Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, etc.). It’s all around us! Ans if I have the desire to view a muscle-bound, attractive, well-endowed man on the internet, there’s no issues!

    Life is full of changes, challenges, etc. We need to make the best of it. Most men will view porn whether or not woman approve. In general, it’s not an emotional attachment or comparison with their partner. I just do not know what else to “say.”

    Thanks for reading.

  243. stella says:

    porn is a tool. men in porn videos are tools. women in porn videos are tools also. it’s not real life. it’s a sex toy. it is nothing to be compared to. one day i like watching a bald guy the other day a japanese one. if the video has no soul and does not make it for me, i just jump to another one. even if i find a really good video, after climax, it loses its whole meaning for me. i have often seen my bf watching them exactly the same way. it’s a matter of videos making you tick or not, not the girls with tits and latexes and bubble butts.
    some porn stars can really create intense attraction. both male and female but that’s because they are good at their job. i respect them for it because it is not sex, it is sexual acting and that has rules of its own. (try to have sex in weird positions so the camera can capture the parts that are relevant, look good, say stuff at the same time in front of a bunch of people including ones that are having coffee and shouting at you to change positions.. it is hard.) that means that they make the video a good toy. your sexual attractiveness for your bf or gf is totally irrelevant. your tits, butts, penises whatever are not comparable to the guys and gals in the video. you are real. the other one is only a tool. it’s not as the hot porn actress has recently fallen in love with your bf and trying to seduce him or your bf has seen her at work and now is thinking nothing but her. it is a tool. a toy. also, sometimes porn stories are misunderstood: if i’m watching groping videos online, that doesn’t mean i want to be groped. your bf is watching a video of two women with big tits and a man. that doesn’t mean that he wants a tit job and a threesome out of you. he just found the video sexually likeable at that moment. it made him tick. hey, he may even have liked the position he saw in the middle part of the video, which is totally independent from tits or theesomes, in example: a girl with her butt in the air etc, and thinking that he and you could try it, your butt would look awesome.

  244. Venus says:

    Men are just looking for an excuse to make it ok. Plain and simple. So they will point fingers at the women who disagree with it. I say that if your husband watches porn, you need to step up your game and start looking at hot naked men, and don’t hide it. Masturbate to them too. Two wrongs don’t make a right but if he doesn’t care how you feel, maybe you shouldn’t care how he feels either. I guarantee it will weigh on his ego whether he will admit to it or not, just like it does a woman’s self esteem.

  245. Closet Freak says:

    I don’t know what the big deal is. Why do women hate their men watching porn so much? I’m a woman and an adventurous one at that. I watch porn with my man. We have incredible sex to it. The pleasure is multiplied. I would do things to him while he’s watching it sometimes and he does the same for me. We are faithful to each other and so we watch it separately when we’re not together and we need to get off. It beats going out and having sex with someone else. We are in love and have been together for fifteen years.

  246. janee says:

    Total bull. Denial. These girls in porn have big tits, super hot, never complains, always anxious to please the viewer. Yes its the fantasy that makes them love porn. But you can lose yourself in this fantasy and get addicted and even try to go out there to find a woman like that to have a one nigt stand with. Yes one nigt stand. Men aren’t stupid to divorce their wives to chase a fantasy. They will go behind their backs selfishly to experience this fantasy in real life bc reality won’t be satisfying anymore. Possibly bringing back diseases to the woman you supposedly love. You know how many hours you boys waste watching porn, get off your asses and fking clean the house or do your own dishes. You boys think women like doing your chores while u wank off to some other whore. Help out a little in your reltaionship and stop being so selfish. Women love sex, and men who watch porn are just too damn lazy to get their women off. Its too much work, you’re too tired to give a woman an orgasm everytime so you go and sit with a virtual whore bc its “easy” you take your energy and emotions and invest in something that’s not real and you expect your relationships to be great. One day she says she’s leaving you nd you have no idea why. Losers.

  247. anondude says:

    You want a guy’s answer to why men watch porn? Simple : it speeds up the masturbating if any. It’s faster than having no material at all and you don’t always have time to wack an hour. So you check a vid, skip most of it, jerk, clean and done.

    If you’re a healthy guy that’s how it goes. If you’re addicted however…

  248. julia says:

    Women, if he watches porn. Go watch male strippers and actually go to the place alone. Go once a week and have some fun even if you think you don’t like it. Make sure you relax and let arousal take over. Then go straight on home and don’t even try to hide where you were. If he is still on his computer after this attempt, I suggest you go and find someone else. Go online and get an emotional connection with a sex buddy online and just tell him you can’t help it , you are an emotional animal who can’t stop. Since men can’t help it, we women can not help being emotionally connected. Invest in an internet sext relationship with someone a few cities away. Don’t waste your time with these punks.

    My boyfriend can watch porn in secret, I honestly don’t care but it better not influence our sex life. I will not tolerate being slapped, defiled or called nasty names. Ever.

  249. Tom says:

    This all very immature and remidial. The person who wrote this post is in need of serious counseling and at the stage of his addiciton, he would likely benefit from intensive inpatient rehabilitation. This person is clearly incapable of having any personal relationships of any kind, let alone reached the maturity in life to experience a fulfilling marriage. Mature, healthy men view internet porn as not only unattractive but hilariously ridiculous. Also, women don’t be fooled by the influx of stupidity of man out there. You are reading the wrong articles, such as this one and possibly dating/ marrying the wrong men. With maturity come honor, love, commitment, and a true joy in having a lovely wife and family that one would never want to disgrace or abuse in any way. Men who use pornography are incapable of having a realtionship and thus either need to seek treatment, just as any else who is addicted to “Crack” “Meth” “Pills” or ” Heorion” should. Could a women who is addicted to “Crack” be able to be a mother and a wife? No, of course not. She would need to seek treatment and hopefully make a wise decsision to choose her children and husband over the “Crack.” Just as a man who is constantly seeking his next “Hit” or ” Fix” of pornography is not of the comptency to rasie children or be a husband to a wife. Please Do your self a favor and stop the idiocy and moronic behavior. Also, if you choose to defend your feebile excuses, accounting them for biological reasoning .. you are clearly underdeveloped and uneducated. In addition, I realize that I’m posting to the lowest of ignorance here … But, try to step your maturity here and do yoursellf and others a favor and don’t have any relationships with anyone. Most importatnly, please don’t have children. You will, 100% guaratneed – Destroy their lives and Hurt Many, Many People in your ludicrious wake! Enjoy your little self and fulfill you miniature ego all you want; please refrain from bringing innocent people into your debauchery and ignorance and destroying their lives along with your own.

  250. An Unbiased Woman says:

    Although some does degrade women, I just as often find films with two (or more) people simply enjoying themselves. Sure, some women find Porn yucky, but I hold by the fact that they just haven’t found something that they like.

    Women, in my experience have a problem with porn when it replaces sex with said woman. I’m sure you would feel the same if your love interest started watching Porn instead if giving you a blow job. I understand that materbation is an important part of many a sex life, but when in a relationship make sure that porn doesn’t take precedence over your significant other.

    Furthermore, there is a difference between watching porn to get off and watching porn to see other naked women. If seeing other naked women is this important to you, then you probably should not be in a monogamous relationship in the first place.

  251. guest says:

    Porn ended my marriage. I won’t have it in my relationship ever again. If that means I have to stay single, then so be it. It changed the way my spouse treated me. Use your imagination to masturbate and not people. So tired of seeing naked women everywhere. If being a porn star is such a good job, then why don’t more men do it? So tired of women being used for pleasure. If men are looking because they’re bored, go do something! Help around the house, make something, do volunteer work, read a book.

  252. Me says:

    My handsome, successful, businessman, family man had a nice public image. Behind closed doors, his porn viewing gradually transformed him into a clumsy, rough, lover who couldn’t get off until he either came on my face or pounded me so hard it made me sore for days. I used to love sex and grew to dread it because it had become not only unsatisfying, but so unpleasant I had to put my mind somewhere else to tolerate it. Nothing I said mattered because he had zero interest in my satisfaction. He complained bitterly that I was no longer into sex and in the endended left me. (At least the kids were grown enough to be out of the house.) the truth is, a lot of women will do anything necessary to keep a family together. If there were no kids, I would have left him years ago. There is no way to appease a man with a porn addiction. Like any other addict they become so self-involved that they will blindy destroy themselves and everyone around them. I may have another man in my life one day, but I’m in no hurry.

  253. tell it as it is says:

    wow.
    The comments here are the best. from women who can do better than pornstars but still with men who watch porn to women who watch porn.
    Right now i am wooing a woman who says she is sexually dead…. dont seem to have other choices for now. I have had porn like since teenage. an addiction but always noted i didnt need it if there was a woman with me.

    So all i can say is that nothing about porn or really sexual men and women is that clear clear cut and what a wide spetrum of performance.

    Thank you every one for your comments

  254. Anna says:

    Porn is an easy ego boost that relieves stress for a male when he is feeling insecure and/or lazy.

    My boyfriend watches it, and I didn’t have a problem with it (and had been naive to the true reasons men watch porn) until a traumatic event. We were in bed, about to go to sleep, and he said that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep if he didn’t get off. I totally understood, because I’ve been in the same boat, but I was exhausted and premenstrual, so I told him to just turn on some porn and take care of himself.

    Well, when he did this, watching him pleasure himself turned me on enough to forget how tired I was, so I got on top of him and then started going down on him. What did he do? He kept his eyes on the (IMHO) deformed-looking, robotic bimbo on the screen! And then I started kissing him, and he bobbed and swerved his head and said I was blocking his view!! And the kind he was looking at was just one woman playing with herself on the screen, making creepy, dramatically flirty eye contact. It basically, even for me, felt like I was having sex with her!

    I have never felt so disrespected and insulted by someone I’m so deeply in love with. Although it should be irrelevant, let me clarify that I am an attractive woman. I have a petite, hourglass shape and am often told that I look like Betty Page and Liv Tyler. Why on earth would a man prefer to watch an almost comically exaggerated depiction of female sexuality on a computer screen, rather than let his real, willing, and beautiful girlfriend pleasure him, in person?

    Well, we had several conversations about this “event.” Some with admittedly melodramatic emotions, but eventually a calmed-down, understanding approach was reached. The bottom line is that, beyond the massive bruise to my ego, I felt seriously hurt and betrayed.

    I’ve been watching porn since I was a teenager, but I’ve never been turned on by porn that looks straight-up like “models” being yelled at to pose in a more graphic way (I just imagine some scumbag director yelling, “Yeah, baby, show the camera everything that’s inside of you! What? You’re not even enjoying rubbing yourself when your lips are spread apart as wide as they’ll possibly go? Just pretend! You’re a STAR!”). I’ve been turned on by porn that looks about as realistic as you’ll get from people being paid to have sex for money (like, maybe the “actors” had a conversation for 4 min. before they started banging each other). I was genuinely shocked to learn that men really find the porn that is so obviously fake in every sense of the word to be arousing. Even more shocking was that a man, my own boyfriend whom I love, is watching porn that removes all doubt in terms of whether or not he’s actually imagining himself having sex with her.

    Anyway, our sex life has had its ups and downs since then (this happened a few months ago), and he was very understanding with me and hasn’t really mentioned porn much since then (and I know he obviously still watches it, which is fine when I don’t think about it, which is most of the time because I generally have much more important things to focus my energy on). However, he’s been pretty selfish in bed lately and I know it’s because of the accessibility and ease of porn. He often asks me to go down on him before he falls asleep, and I have done so very often and happily in the past, even though I received no reciprocation, but I’m getting frustrated with it now. He has NEVER gone down on me “just because,” and not expecting anything in return. How can he be so selfish?

    Overall, my opinion of porn has changed dramatically over the past few months. I used to see it as a harmless, sexy addition to the sexual side of a relationship, but now I see it for what it really is: it’s just a “socially-acceptable” way for a man to get off on his own terms, with almost no effort, and it’s a sort of loophole for him to cheat without being able to be held physically accountable (no real body-to-body contact). I could go on and on about the negative aspects of porn (dehumanizing both men and women, enforcing unrealistic [and in my personal opinion, ugly] standards of sexual desirability, etc.), but basically it can very easily ruin a couple’s sex life, and it is an extremely selfish decision.

    I feel for every woman who has gone through this as well (and for any man who has experienced this in reverse). To date, I don’t know what the solution is because no one has absolute control over another person (nor should they). I guess more open communication is necessary in my case until we reach a better understanding of each other’s needs.

  255. Diana says:

    Hi! Well i love my boyfriend, i guess he watches porn, but it is kind of uncomfortable to think he compares me to them,,, im beautiful and no low self steem, is just i wish he didnt compare me cause i dont compare him. Nor even to those romantic actors. Do you really compare us guys? I dont think guys compare their chic…

  256. WM says:

    Well… I’ve yet to meet a man who would be “fine” with their daughter flaunting their naked body on the internet in for men to masturbate to. Then… something IS wrong!

  257. big_barrel says:

    I think a lot of the problem is that some guys get way too into it. I am a semi recovering porn addicts I always would rather have sex with my wife than look at porn. I think what soured a lot of women here was neglect from their lover and not the porn itself. it is easy to blame porn cause porn is obvious and porn is easy, and it’s very addictive. I do it when my wife doesn’t want to do it, and sometimes out of habit.

    My wife used to be very hostile about my porn watching and I have curbed my watching habits for the most part because of it. my habits did nearly break us up but in all honesty I never stopped loving her or wanting her sexually I had a high drive and if she was tired and wanted some stress relief I fapped, simple. I do not mind her looking at porn, I wouldn’t mind if she was a stripper or a cam girl because I trust her.

    to all those who say it real men don’t watch porn, they do. It is not the reason families break up, addiction is, neglect is, entitlement is. go after the cause, not the symptom.

    P.s. I have seen a video of a girl claiming her father sent her to have sex with his favorite porn star, I have seen a video where a daughter has sex with man with her mom in the same room ( she was making sure she was safe) while those are extremes all parents have to realize that our children will likely have sex and have to deal with the consequences. If they choose to do it on camera, shunning or shaming them is not going to help.

  258. Jo says:

    BULLSHIT!!! I have caught my Husband of 34 years watchibg stupid Naked Pictures of Women’s Pussies and Asses! I asked him why he keeps looking at this shit, when he keeps saying he won’t do it again. His explanation before was Only Men who don’t have sex have to look at this, so why when I want sex more than him does he continue to watch this stuff? In fact he turns me down more times than I like, complaining of being tired, he says his testerone has to build up for Three days before he can have sex again (WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP) , he complains of being stressed, worring about getting soft during sex, complaining of his knees hurting, but earlier riding his stationary bike for anywhere from 45 min to 1 hour! SERIOUSLY, does he think I’ m Stupid? He just doesn’t want to go thru the Trouble of making Love to me. I caught him Masturbating, and he said he was thinking about ME, Honestly a Man hascto think we are Stupid, thinking of me when your jerking off, and I am laying right next to you??? I am sick and tired of this because he is picking out the Pictures he wants to look at, they aren’t Random pictures, he’s cheating on me by his desire to look at this crap, and NO , NOT EVERY MAN LOOKS AT THIS SHIT!! Only Men who want to End their relationship with their Wife, or Girlfriend!!

  259. Julie says:

    I thînk he has lost interest in you… that’s just how some men are. Now I’m not trying to sound sexist but tbh not every guy is ready to have the same lunch every day. The way he’s killing your self esteem is WRONG. You’re the one who should have the upper hand in this relationship, especially when you’re obviously younger and ‘fresher’. I might sound blunt and rude but you seriously need to voice out what you feel before it gets even worse.

  260. Eejai Wiler says:

    My hubby n i switched phones n I admit my partial snooping is possibly wrong but i came across this article and your response, I honestly would never have been calmed until I did just this… lady u n i are quite similar and i thank you for the insight and slight comfort. Still not ok w porn anymore after our traumatic event several years ago among others, though i understand a little better n don’t feel so alone and utterly rejected. May sound odd but I’d really like to give you a hug, maybe not so much for you but for me also. I thank you deeply!! Look me up if you will Eejai Wiler. I look forward to it.

  261. Sandy says:

    Hey asshole, this is mean.., i got more fit, toned up a bit and my bf still watched porn over me… Not like i was fat and unattractive before either he was just an addict… Asshole who made me very insecure an depressed very angry if we didn’t have a child together i would have left years ago…

  262. GNM says:

    “I realize that I’m posting to the lowest of ignorance here … But, try to step your maturity here and do yourself and others a favor and don’t have any relationships with anyone. Most importantly, please don’t have children. You will, 100% guaranteed – Destroy their lives and Hurt Many, Many People in your ludicrous wake! Enjoy your little self and fulfill you miniature ego all you want; please refrain from bringing innocent people into your debauchery and ignorance and destroying their lives along with your own.” – Well said, Tom

  263. Guest says:

    You’re looking at this through the prism of a woman that enjoys sex. You seem to ignore the fact that a lot of married men have wives that aren’t interested at all, or lose interest overtime. What’s a guy to do? I guy still has needs and desires.

  264. Lady 25 says:

    Because we love cock! Who wants a vagina in their face? Ewww

  265. scaredangel says:

    its fine to watch porn. its not fine when i guy (like mine) says they don’t want sex or have no sex drive then watches hours of porn everyday. yes watching together can be fun. yes it is a great way to get off alone so you don’t cheat, but when it replaces sex something is wrong.

  266. Dale says:

    The controlling shrews and weak liberal feminised men are out in force.

    At the end of the day it is not real, if it affects your relationship get help like any other addiction.

    Also stop trying to control people to your world view, if my partner wants to watch porn that is her choice, i feel no less or insecure because of it, sexual attraction is normal.

    Most of you need help with your insecurity or over controlling of relationships.

    Lastly i have a healthy sex life with my partner, if she wanted to go watch male strippers, watch males in porn it is her choice.

  267. Dale says:

    You sound very narrowminded, which might be why your marriage ended.

    I find it interesting that how you define ways to deal with boredom is your view not neccessarily your OH, which leds me to speculate you are intolerant to others interests unless they fit your view, that is rather controlling.

  268. Dale says:

    Id say you are the lowest level of ignorance, really mature men cannot enjoy porn, i suggest its immature ones who have the issue, though i suspect you have other issues which shape your view, possibly being singgle, dumped…etc…

    Btw i have children and they are doing very well in a loved family, do u?

  269. Dale says:

    Maybe more woman should do rather than obsess with jealousy and control.

  270. south shore gal says:

    Bunch of bull… How is any of that supposed to make women feel better… If porn is really no big deal then it shouldnt be a big deal to stop watching it… especially if it makes your wife feel betrayed & a form of cheating.

    Thanks for creaping me out… I didn’t know men pictured every attractive woman they see naked… That makes me want to invest in oversized sweat suits & moo moos… very poor example – objectification of women…

    How about stop focusing on the porn and making lame excuses to the point where your SO gives up on you… Or keep lying to yourself – just because she stops fighting you does not mean she is ok… It will take its toll.. Make an effort to make your lady know you desire her quit being selfish… the rewards will be more then you know…

    After years of the ‘porn’ elphant in the room my husband & I finally reconnected and my husband is done with porn… . I go down on my husband all the time now… most the time we wind up having sex but I also love swallowing… You Choosing porn will not give her much inspiration & your sexlife will be mediocre. I think you made that clear when you admitted that masterbation feels better then sex sometimes.

  271. jerseygalrocker says:

    I agree 1,000% about tired of seeing naked women everywhere. Sucks a “great” movie can’t even be made with a strip club scene or graphic sex scene.

  272. Sarah says:

    I have to disagree with this whole article in many retrospects. Women don’t see porn per se as a bad thing in itself but when a partner hides the magazines, videos etc from his woman that is where porn is now a form of cheating. I had my ex husband hide porn mags all around the house, under the couch cushions, under our child’s crib mattress etc. Hell he charged over $300 in porn after having given birth–I’m at the hospital while he’s watching porn on tv. That in itself should of made me mad. I gave him everything he needed of needed in the bedroom. Not at all a type of woman who will be tight ass on sex. But my viewpoint was this, he hid it from me instead of telling me about it and having it be stashed in a chest under the bed.then my boyfriend did it recently where he hid videos from me and that made me feel inadequate like the women he watched were sexy than me or better than me. Because he hide it from me. When men hide things like this instead of being honest about it, we women begin to feel that’s what our guys want not us. We’re not adequate or sexy enough. Then when they try to have sex with us we think about are our guys fantasizing about those women while having sex with us?? When it comes to relationships, guys can’t tell us that we are not allowed to look at other men like pictures but hide pornographic pics and videos. That means there is no level of trust in the relationship. I watch porn when alone but I tell my guy about it. I don’t watch it seeing the man in the video as sexy and would do things to me that my man doesn’t. I fantasize about my man doing those things to me but women see porn differently. I now do not feel able to have the same level of trust and security I once had over his hiding of porn from me. I should be his muse in bed, what he needs and desires and now I feel that these women reflect what he wants–so our relationship sexually has been hurt by this in my viewpoint. Take advice and tell your woman if you watch it and why instead of hiding it. If she cannot understand either she has issues that need to be discussed maturely about it or she’s not for myself, I could of understood it if I felt he trusted me with the fact he watched it but now twice scorned I feel cheated on emotionally and trust is hard to regain.

  273. GUEST says:

    But IF his “beautiful woman” that “he sleeps with and he likes his life just the way it is!” He WOULD NOT want or need porn. Their “one and only woman” should be enough. Thats real love. Girls/ Woman dont stand for that bullshit. Its stupid, sad, desperate and disgusting. Their PIGS and LOZERS that have no better shit to do with their lives. If you know your enough, more than enough and deserve eyes that can ONLY look at YOU. Then fix your situation. How the fuck can your man dare compare or wish you were like one of those porn stars?, yet wouldnt want their own mother, sister, daughter doing something like that and soon realize they dont actually want to be with some easy, used up piece of trash bitch, only good for some diease, stinky, smelly ass sex. Any girl, any guy can take their clothes off and have sex, theres no special shit about it. The people for who they are is what make people different, special and beautiful, those are the people to want, people that are worth admiring over and loving. Its stupid. Fucking compare their bitch asses to some Magic Mike guys, see how they like it. Know yourself, Know your worth. (Ps. Those Magic Mike guys are HOT AFFF)

  274. GUEST says:

    Well thats bullshit and wrong. He should love you and want you for you and you only. If him knowing it makes you uncomfortable, he would make the effort to change for you because your worth it, he loves you and wouldnt want you to see him that way. I dont want to tell you what to do but my advise is fix your situation ASAP, viewing porn is not a step towards faithfulness and loyalty but away. What are the chances of him cheating on you with a girl? Pretty big if you ask me. He should NOT be comparing you to no girl because you are that special and he only needs and wants you. Stand your ground, be firm and strong. You dont need a “man” to make you happy.

  275. Angie says:

    BS! My husband can’t even look at me and maintain an erection, he has to watch porn to fuck me at all!! It’s not like I’m some fat nasty gross thing. I am ready to give up. He has my self esteem in the toilet. And really doesn’t care.

  276. Dore says:

    What a moron this one is who wrote this article. He has a lot to learn. And mostly, the one who wrote this is extremely selfish.

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