Many people regard kinks with apprehension, but don’t judge too soon! Being comfortable with the kinky can actually be an awesome part of your sex life.
We’re all a little weird, and we all have our very own kinks—in fact, life is so much easier and happier when we learn to accept this.
Especially in the bedroom.
If you can’t let your freak flag fly at all times, then you could at least let go and let out your inner weirdo with the one you love—or even with a hookup. The privacy of your bedroom is a great place to let your hair down and be your weird self.
Why kinks are awesome
If you have a hard time letting loose yourself, then dating someone with a fetish at least once in your life could be hugely beneficial. It can help you see that there’s more to life than just being vanilla. If you’re still not convinced, read up on these freakishly fab and erotically exciting reasons you should date someone with a fetish.
#1 Explore new sexual ventures. You will be in for a surprising treat when you date someone with a fetish. Having sex with someone with a fetish will open you up to new things in the bedroom, and may even allow you to see your body in a new way. Think you don’t have pretty feet? Dating someone with a foot fetish might make you think twice about your anatomy, as he worships you from head to toe *emphasis on “toe”*. [Read: 10 kinks adventurous couples have to try at least once]
#2 Love notes… with a twist. Remember when you were high school sweethearts and you used to stick Post-its on each other’s lockers and notebooks? Bring back that young, playful, and unexpected gesture by posting love notes all over your house and even in your partner’s things as a sweet surprise. Then cap off your day with love notes on the floor, gradually moving away from sappy and toward sexy—fetishes and all. You can keep the love notes as a sexy, sweet secret between you and your partner.
#3 You don’t need to worry about pleasing him. Trust me, he is already having the time of his life. Whether he has a thing for sucking on your toes or is someone who gets off watching you sleep, you don’t really have to worry about what turns him on. It might seem weird at first, but once you get the hang of it, dressing up as a robot for a technosexual, or watching porn together with a pictophile may lead to one of the best lays you’ll ever have. [Read: 7 extremely weird but surprisingly popular sex fetishes]
#4 Get pampered in more ways. Receive gifts of fur, leather, or silk from your lover who has a fetish for these kinds of materials. He’ll love to see you wearing satin in bed, or he’ll shower you with designer fur coats that you will, of course, want to wear everywhere. If he has a fetish for a particular body part and gets off by the sight of your back, be prepared to receive massages at the end of the day—a great bonus to the amazing sex you’ll have afterwards.
#5 Keep your sex life fresh and exciting. Dating someone with a fetish opens you up to many more experiences in the bedroom, and you never know how your partner will be aroused as you experiment with his kinks. In fact, you may find that it can be even more arousing than all the foreplay you’ve been used to. [Read: 10 tips to help you open up about your kinky side]
#6 It’s intimate. Dating someone with a fetish is not only sexy, but it’s also one of the most intimate things you can share with another person. Dating someone who is comfortable enough to show you his fetish forms a trusting bond between the two of you. For example, once you let someone lick your toes, there is no room to be modest or suspicious anymore. It’s a really ballsy relationship, and it may just provide the intimacy that you need.
#7 It’s liberating. It can be tiring to be in a relationship where you have to follow norms and conventions all the time, trying to stay within the bounds of what is considered normal or risk being shunned. Dating someone with a fetish can be liberating, in the sense that you know the person is showing you a part of themselves that not everyone knows about. In turn, this encourages you to free yourself and let out parts of your sexuality that you never even knew existed. [Read: Naughty is nice: The couple’s guide to erotic spanking]
#8 You are embracing your own sexual preferences. Maybe you are attracted to someone with a fetish because you have a fetish, yourself. You may not have known it before, but the moment you gave in to wearing furry animal costumes, you realized you are actually into furries, too. Now you don’t have to wonder why all the other sex you’ve had before wasn’t as good—there was something lacking, and now your undiscovered fetish has been fulfilled.
#9 Fetishists are more accepting. Fetishists often experience prejudice or rejection, so they know how important it is to keep an open mind about what other people prefer in the bedroom. They are more likely to cooperate if you have specific preferences in the bedroom *or even outside of it*. Therefore, if you have a specific quirk, you should not let this get in the way of enjoying yourself and your partner. [Read: 20 kinky things to do with your boyfriend beyond the bed]
#10 There’s a bit of a fetishist in all of us. Maybe you have always liked showing off parts of your body in public, especially in the gym or at the beach. You may not realize it, but you are getting off by exposing yourself in public. [Read: Sexy exhibitionism – How to get naked in public]
You feel good about being revealing, and this is true for some other people as well. That is why there are fetish clubs and nude beaches. Even Mardi Gras encourages women to reveal their breasts. Dating someone with a fetish encourages such activities in the safety and privacy of your own bedroom, where you and your partner can appreciate it in its full glory.
Breasts, butts, feet, hair, hands, mannequins, furs, rubber, pictures, voyeurism, exhibitionism—people can be turned on by anything, with fetishes ranging from mild to extreme. And fetishes are becoming more and more popular and accepted, so there’s no reason not to experience some of the kinks yourself!
So go out there and don’t be afraid to let out the wilder side of yourself. Date someone with a fetish and discover that you, too, have a “thing” for something considered strange or irregular. Open yourself up to the kinkier, edgier you! And if it doesn’t work out… well, you can always go back to your vanilla life.
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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...