When it comes to the art of self-pleasure and masturbation – and it is an art form, mind you – there really is no right way or wrong way to do the deed.
Everyone has their own way of getting the job done, but just in case you’re in need of some direction or are simply looking for new ideas, the following tips will definitely come in handy.
There is no right or wrong way to pleasure yourself. If it feels good, go for it! Female masturbation is way more than just bringing yourself to orgasm *although that is pretty awesome*. It’s about exploring your body and satisfying every aspect of your mind, body, and soul. Whether you’re a pro at it or you’re a novice discovering herself for the first time, I’ve got a long list of self-pleasure tips just for you.
A woman’s guide to self-pleasure and masturbation
Although female masturbation and self-pleasure are considered taboo by many people, don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not something that only “easy” women do; it’s something most women do. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to let your fingers do the walking *if that’s your preference* with these self-pleasure tips.
#1 Set the mood. What gets you in the mood for love is personal. Do what you have to do to set the scene to ensure you totally enjoy yourself. Take a bath, light some candles, play soft music: whatever it takes to make you feel sensual and sexual. [Read: The absolute best songs for a sensual and sexy time]
#2 Privacy is key. Unless you’re into getting caught or pleasuring yourself while someone else watches *which, by the way, can be lots of fun too,* make sure you’re totally alone and won’t be disturbed. Nothing kills a good solo love session quicker than worrying about being interrupted.
#3 Focus. Going at it alone requires focus and concentration, especially if climaxing is your ultimate goal. Without the aid of a partner, it is up to you to be everything you need in order to satisfy your urges. Think sexy thoughts and don’t be afraid to include someone you want to get down and dirty with in those thoughts to really turn you on.
#4 Fantasize. Double your pleasure by fantasizing while you masturbate. In your mind, you’re free to think about anyone and do anything your little heart desires. If your fantasies take you straight to Dirty Town, go with it – anything goes when you’re in your own head. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else and not feel guilty]
#5 Explore your entire body. Don’t just go straight to petting the kitty. Take some time to explore and tease other parts of your body too. After all, pleasuring yourself should be an all-encompassing experience. Run your hands over your body to discover all the different areas that like to be touched.
#6 Begin with a massage. Relax your muscles and tune into the feel of your body by giving yourself a massage. Using a light and firm touch, run your hands over your arms and across your shoulders. Rub tense muscles in your neck. Notice how soft your skin is. A massage is a great way to help your body prepare for a mind-blowing orgasm.
#7 Don’t neglect your breasts. For most women, the breasts are a major erogenous zone. Don’t leave the girls out when you’re going solo. Gently squeeze, pull, and trace your nipples with varying degrees of firmness to get your motor running and keep it in high gear. [Read: 10 tips for women who want a mind blowing orgasm]
#8 Definitely use lube. Using a good lube helps make the whole experience more sensual and pleasurable. There are many different types of lube on the market, so experiment to see which one helps you achieve the strongest orgasms.
If you’re too embarrassed to buy lube at the store, try purchasing it when you buy tampons. It makes sense and no one will be the wiser.
#9 Get in touch with your clitoris. If you and your clitoris aren’t close yet, make it a priority. The clitoris is the key to the Big O for most women. Here are a few ways to stimulate this sex spot to unleash the most amazing sensations.
a. Use your fingers. Slowly and gently rub your clitoris. If direct contact is too intense, try stroking around it rather than directly on it. Experiment with different types of touch and movement to find what feels the best for you. [Read: A step-by-step guide to achieving multiple orgasms]
b. Use a vibrator. Some women like them, some women don’t. Stimulating your clitoris with a vibrator can quickly bring you to orgasm if you’re pressed for time. If you find the vibrations too overwhelming, try turning down the speed or using a washcloth or towel between you and the vibrator to lessen the effect.
c. Use the showerhead. Using a removable showerhead to direct a stream of water onto your lady bits is very sexually stimulating, especially if it has an adjustable spray feature. Play around with the different settings until you find the one that does the trick for you. [Read: Accidental orgasms – 7 sexy ways to make the unexpected happen!]
d. Use a pillow. A more “romantic,” self-pleasuring technique uses a strategically placed pillow to simulate sex with a partner. Place a soft pillow between your legs like you’re riding a horse. Squeeze your thighs together and rock your pelvis back and forth, allowing the fabric to stimulate your clitoris. This is a great time to fantasize that the perfect partner is underneath you.
#10 Penetrate the vagina. While it’s true that many women cannot achieve orgasm from strictly vaginal penetration, it doesn’t mean that you should neglect it altogether when you masturbate. In fact, penetrating the vagina during masturbation can unlock hidden pleasures you never knew existed. Here are a couple things to do to include your vagina in the fun.
a. Use a dildo. Similar to a vibrator, a dildo is simply a phallic-shaped device meant to be inserted into the vagina during sexual play. You control its movement by thrusting it in and out of your vagina at your own preferred pace. Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, so be sure to visit your local adult store or shop online to find your favorite. [Read: 7 reasons why some women just don’t like a dildo]
b. Use your fingers. If the idea of using a dildo doesn’t appeal to you, use your fingers instead. Gently insert one, two, or more fingers into your vagina and move them in and out in a way that feels good.
c. Find the G-spot. Although a mystery to many women, the G-spot can get you singing its praises wholeheartedly once you find it. The G-spot, located inside the vagina, is a small, rough patch on the front wall. It is easier to find it when you’re aroused, so stimulating this sex button should be done after you’re good and ready. Orgasms resulting from the G-spot are much more intense and pleasurable than either clitoral or vaginal orgasms.
Use your index and middle fingers to find your G-spot. Once you do, make a light “come-hither” motion. You’ll feel the area become more pronounced the more turned on you get. Alternately, you can lay your fingers flat against the spot and move your arm to rub back and forth. Be patient, it could take several minutes of stimulation before orgasm occurs. [Read: How to find and tingle your G-spot without a flashlight]
#11 Do double-duty. It takes a little bit more effort and practice, but penetrating the vagina and stimulating the clitoris is the ultimate in orgasmic pleasure. Use a dildo to penetrate the vagina while you use your fingers to play with your clitoris.
#13 Read an erotic story. Nothing gets the juices flowing better than the imagination and a good erotic story. Dubbed the “female version of pornography,” erotica fuels your fantasies. It’s not for everyone, but you owe it to yourself to give it a try at least once.
#14 Download the app. Yes, you heard me right. There really is an app for everything, and in this case, it’s an app that guides you in proper masturbation techniques. The free app is called Happy Playtime, and it features a cartoon vagina that shows users the right way to touch her, and ultimately, themselves, making female masturbation friendly.
When it comes to pleasuring yourself, really, anything goes. If it feels good to you, then do it. Never be ashamed or feel embarrassed because you enjoy touching yourself.
Remember, most women do it or have done it at some point in their lives. Use the tips above to discover more about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom and to make your masturbation sessions more enjoyable.
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Shawn Lehrke has been a freelance author for over 15 years. Her writing expertise spans a variety of niches, but her passion is creative writing. Shawn lives in...