Sleeping with someone outside a relationship isn’t always bad. So does your wife want to sleep with another man? Are you ready for it? Find out here. By Christopher Villa
For most couples, an urge to sleep with someone outside the relationship spells nothing but doom.
But is that really a bad thing?
Well, truthfully, we’re all unique and every relationship in the world, as perfect as it may seem on the outside, is still riddled with secrets and fetishes.
[Read: Top 50 kinky fetishes couples indulge in]
What you may consider immoral could seem tame to someone else.
So for starters, don’t be judgmental.
As long as any desire doesn’t hurt your partner or affect them negatively, everything is just perfect in a relationship.
If your wife wants to sleep with another man, would you be fine with that?
Are you considering the options or wondering about the repercussions?
Sleeping with someone outside the relationship
Contrary to popular belief, the urge to have sex with another person doesn’t always arise out of dissatisfaction and mistrust, but instead it arises out of trust and complete understanding of each other’s needs, romantically and sexually.
Would you prefer a wife who would have an affair with another man behind your back or a wife who would tell you that her sexual desires feel incomplete? [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]
Well, what’s the difference, you say? True, at the end of the day, your wife is having sex with another man in either case, whether she cheats on you or indulges in it with your consent. But when trust comes into the picture, it’s a whole different story.
Is it acceptable for your wife to sleep with another man?
Let’s face it. All of us have sexual desires. And at times, we’re all going to get bored of seeing the same package in bed all the time, even if it’s the sexiest thing in the world. Humans, by nature, love variety.
The urge to sleep with someone outside the relationship is even more desirable for school or college sweethearts who have been together since college and haven’t really had sex with too many people other than their own partners. It’s a temptation that would always gnaw you from the inside.
Deep inside, if any sexually active person says they can’t think of anyone other than their own lover in bed or can’t fantasize about anyone else, all of us know they’re just lying. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else with your lover]
So coming to think of it, if both partners love each other and understand each other’s sexual demands, is it really so bad to involve someone else in bed?
Are you ready to let your wife have sex with someone else?
Sleeping with another person outside the relationship isn’t all cute and sexy. It’s actually one of the most dangerous things to do in a relationship. Here are a few questions to think about that can tell you if you’re ready for it.
#1 Why does your wife want to do it really? Have a frank conversation with your wife. Why does she want to have sex with another man? Are you satisfied with her answer? [Read: Things to talk about in a perfect relationship]
#2 Are you spicing up both your sex lives or is this an easy affair? Sometimes, a bad lover could use an excuse like this to have an affair right under your nose. Do you know the guy your wife wants to have sex with? Does it sound like an affair in the making here? It’s always preferable to use a guy you meet on a vacation instead of a friendly neighbor.
#3 How’s your relationship? Are you happy and completely in love with each other? Is this a sexual fantasy that both of you have had? If you think your wife is too sexy to be enjoyed just by you and have a secret fantasy to watch your wife getting creamed by another man, well, you’re definitely not alone.
[Read: Top 10 female fantasies and top 10 male fantasies]
#4 Are both of you ready for the consequences? As scary as it sounds, letting your wife sleep with another man can be a lot of fun only if both of you have set firm ground rules and have spoken to each other about every nagging doubt. If you’re faced with an awkward situation the next morning and you can’t look into each other’s eyes, you’ve obvious gone wrong with the ground rules.
Testing your relationship survival skills – The big test
Can your relationship survive another man in bed? Well, here is a cleaner way to test the waters and see if you’re both ready. [Read: How to have a perfect threesome]
Don’t let your wife walk away into another man’s arms just yet. Almost always, a fantasy in your head always feels sexier than real life. Try these tests in real life first.
Test #1 Have webcam sex. Have you ever had sex while streaming it via a webcam? Meet a random couple online or log onto an adult webcam site like Chatroulette *above 18 area* and see if both of you enjoy having sex while being watched? Does it freak you out knowing that someone else is seeing you and your partner in the nude and probably whacking off too? Just a note of caution here, don’t show off your faces while chatting via a webcam.
Test #2 Have sex with another couple in bed. Invite a sexually exciting and fun couple into your home for a stay over and get drunk together. Lead the games to bed so that both couples end up having sex in the same bed.
Test #3 Gift your wife a massage on a vacation. And we don’t mean just any massage, gift her a full body massage with a male masseur and a happy ending. [Read: Happy ending massage confession]
#Test #4 Let your wife party on her own. Let your wife go out with her own friends and even hook up with a few guys and make out with them. And ask her to share the stories of lusty events at the nightclub with you.
Results to the test – So how did you fare?
# How do you feel? During each of the tests, how did you feel about it? Did it sexually excite you and make your hornier? Or were you just upset?
# Can you handle it? Could you watch your wife with another man without feeling insecure or jealous? Or were you just happy to see your wife having fun?
# Does your wife like it? Now this matters too. Did your wife enjoy the experiences?
# Are you angry? Does watching your woman with someone else bother you, or does it give you a new sexual surge in your libido?
Playing safe while sleeping with someone else
If you’re both happy to have indulged in the sexual experiences mentioned here, you’re probably ready for more. But just to ensure that you’re not jeopardizing your relationship on shaky grounds, take it one notch higher without sending your wife away on a vacation with another man just yet.
Try swapping or swinging. [Read: How to start swinging with your partner]
It’s easier and safer, and as both of you would still be next to each other, either of you can back away when things get awkward.
Just to make things even, if your wife wants to sleep with another man, by swinging first, you get to sleep with another woman too. By doing this, your wife can understand what exactly you’d feel if she were to sleep with another man. Swapping partners can help both of you understand the feelings and emotions involved on equal grounds without being unfairly judgmental.
Four things to watch out for after your wife has sex with another man
If both of you think you’re ready to explore the horizons of sex by sleeping with other people, here are a few things to watch out for, the morning after.
#1 Second thoughts. You may have second thoughts about the whole arrangement. Or you may even regret it if both of you weren’t entirely ready to bring the sexual fantasy to real life. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed]
#2 Panic and anxiety. Ever watched the move, Indecent Proposal? Well, that’s panic attack for you if both of you aren’t sure of what either of you want.
#3 Fear of losing each other. Would you feel insecure if your wife has explosive sex with another man? Would you be more afraid if the guy is a friend?
#4 Anger at your wife’s wants. Would you look at it as a sexual high like never before or would you just blame your wife for wanting to be a whore after it’s all done?
What happens next?
Well, both of you could enjoy it.
Or it could spell disaster.
Having sex with someone outside the relationship can be sexy and dandy if it’s done with serious considerations. If not, it may make both of you drift away from each other and into another person’s bed if one of you isn’t happy with the results. It’s all about emotional security and trust. If both of you love each other a lot and don’t mind having sex with others because you genuinely want your partner to enjoy great sex and fulfill their sexual desires, it’s never a bad thing as long as that’s what both of you want. [Read: 25 relationship rules to have a successful romance]
And if you do see your partner orgasming better or having a better time with someone else in bed, you have to realize that it’s the sexual fantasy that’s more of a turn on than the guy she’s having sex with.
If you or your wife wants to have sex with someone else, you’re not a mentally disturbed deviant. Some couples like the idea while some couples don’t. To each their own. [Read: Understanding love and lust in a promiscuous world]
So if you don’t like it, stay away from it instead of ruining your relationship. And if you do want your wife to sleep with another man, go right ahead but only after you’ve given careful considerations of the things mentioned here, and you’ll truly be ready for that next step. [Read: 7 sexiest types of sex you can ever have!]
So does your wife want to have sex with another man? Well, sit down with your partner and give these questions and tests a serious consideration. And if you’re ready, go on and explore your sexual desires.
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Maybe the biggest question that should be asked is will she be fair and allow her husband to sleep with another woman?
Some men like to watch, I had a boyfriend who loved to watch another man take me. For some reason it excited him hearing and watching some other guy getting it on with me. If I got into it as well it would make it even hotter for him. It reached a point where he would rather watch me with someone than have me himself.
After getting turned on talking with my wife about her with other men, we decided to start ny arranging situations were she would be seen naked by men. First she let her bikini bottom fall off in the spa at a resort. Several men saw her, as it took her a long time to retrieve tham. We went to our room and had the hottest sex. Next we arranged a male to give her a “massage”. I had said to him it will be interesting to see what she lets you massage. It was so erotic seeing his hands on her, especially as she purred each time his hands went near erotic areas. and she unded up having an orgasm as he licked her. Soon after that we had a friend join us and we both pleasured her all night long. That was years ago and we continue to have MFM 3somes 2 – 4 times a month. And daily when on vacation. We love each other more than ever. She has offered to have a FMF 3some, but I have no interest in other women, just my very own sex goddess. We would highly recomend trying the first steps to see if it is for you, but millions of men enjoy sharing their wives in this way. Warning, trying to force your wife if she is not enjoying tis lifestyle will end in divorce. The woman has to want to do it and enjoy it. My wife loves the variety and excitement, and loves me more for allowing her to have this lifestyle and so much sex.
We are considering this as it has been a fantasy of both of ours, however now we feel it is a true desire. Your comments are helpful. We will take the first steps and see how we feel. Excited to share more…
Hi I am Raj M/45 and my wife, Poonam is F/42. I’ve always wanted her to sleep with another guy. It took me almost 12 years to reach the stage where she agreed to meet one of my friends. It was a nice evening where he did kiss her and chatted a lot on swap subject. Later that night when I had sex with her, she went dry and said she can’t imagine sleeping with anyone except me.
She does wear sexy outfits on my request and does show off in shopping malls where she is the centre of attraction and to some extent, she likes it. Secondly she used to have cam sex with some of my net friends. However I need help to take it ahead and wanted to see her enjoying with other guys.
Please guide me on how can I take it further.
Thanks, Raj
My wife had a very diverse and healthy sexual appetite before we met. For the first couple years of our marriage things worked very well. As time went on I could sense that she was struggling. One night after she had a bit to much to drink I got her to admit that she missed having a variety of partners. It’s not that we weren’t compatible, there’s just something about a new encounter that she really craves. Being desired, pursued, and then bed by a new man is a rush for her.
I gave her permission. She found someone and took a cruise. Since then she has had several experiences over the years. Most of these last a couple months and then end. When the newness wears off she ends it. I could wander as well but for reason this infidelity of hers makes me even more infatuated with her. Before and especially after her flings we have sex is intensely satisfying. While not for everyone, in my case letting her go kept her with me.
Not only would I let my wife sleep with another guy, I desire it, crave it, want it and hope more than anything that it eventually happens.
She is absolutely beautiful and, other than a couple instances of oral sex when she was younger, she has only had sex with me. I cannot ever foresee her sleeping with another guy with my knowledge, or having an affair behind my back, but I truly wish she would. I would love it if she had an affair and later told me due to the guilt. I would then tell her that it’s totally cool and that she should continue to sleep with the other man anytime she liked. And, I would want to hear every detail about her lovemaking with the other guy.
There is something terrifically erotic about this. I can’t explain it, but I know I want it. And yes, I speak from experience. I was married before and she slept around. It was fantastic.
For any guy that is on the fence about this: let her do it and don’t be jealous. It will be the most satisfying sexual experience you can imagine.
Having threesomes is wonderful as long as you both enjoy it and BOTH want it. My wife and I have enjoyed 2 MFM and would like to do a FMF but is so difficult to find a female. We are in New York so if any female is interested, maybe we can meet up for a chat and see if we can take it to the next level.
Enjoy it all safely.
This never works out like it seems it should. Years ago my husband wanted to see me with another man, I finally agreed. I won’t lie it was enjoyable but it comes with a high price tag. He has the image of another man making me orgasm and then coming himself etched in his mind forever.
He never said anything but I know it has impacted his self-worth and our relationship. For some reason I think most men want to think they are the only ones who can make their wife feel that way.
The experience also awakened me sexually. Another encounter involving my husband was clearly out of the question, but I was now open to sex outside my relationship. The end result has been a string of affairs over the years that my husband knows nothing about.
So be very careful going here, it changes relationships and may not be what you are expecting.
Wow. I really don’t know what to say about all this.
Audrey’s comment, of course, concerns me. Likely there will be changes in the relationship if something like this occurs. But I tend to think that it might depend a little on how involved the partners are in each other’s exploration.
All that said, I have a couple of months last year where I fell into a deep depression. I felt quite worthless and unattractive. I swore up and down that my husband had fallen out of love with me, had no desire for me any more. I talked myself into the belief that I needed to be brave and talk to him about just this sort of thing – that if I couldn’t give him what he was looking for physically, that he should look outside of our marriage for what he needed. I never did get up the courage to do that and eventually sorted out my depression (still working on that), I nonchalantly injected the idea into the conversation, and he essentially turned it down. But I haven’t lost that thought. If he ever wanted to sleep with another woman, I’d be happy to let him do it. That’s not entirely selfless; there is a certain someone I would seek out in a heartbeat given that option. I’m not sure if rules like “must be out of town”, “must be unknown to the other person” or things of that nature would be useful as guidelines.
A number of years back, we discussed the idea of swinging (just as the concept, not as something to put into practice) and he seemed interested in it, but now he tells me he thinks his jealousy might be over the top. He has admitted that he likes the idea of watching me have sex, but not necessarily with someone else.
I guess I’m just surprised at the number of men who support the idea. I must have found the only guy on the planet who would turn down the chance for a “free” affair. Okay, I jest. Kind of.
My wife and I are in our early 40′s and we have been married 17 years. Both of us have a strong sex drive and have had great sex over the years, just about everyday still. Anyway my wife is an absolutely stunningly beautiful woman, even at 40 she gets constant looks from men. I find her more attractive now then ever. Over the years we have done all our fantasy’s, we even got her this huge fucking machine a few years ago with huge attachments. I confessed to her that I wanted her to sleep with a young (20 something man with a huge package) now she is totally up for it. When we go out to to clubs she is always the center of attention and has young men all over her. I admit I like watching her dance and grind with young men. She has agreed she secretly likes young men and would like to fuck one. We are currently working out the details, but we are so secure in our marriage and our commitment to each other I don’t think it will change our relationship at all. I really don’t. We already do this game (maybe once a month) where I will drop her and a girlfriend off at a club and then i come back about an hour later and watch her dance and flirt and full on kiss these young guys. She certainly doesn’t want anymore from them then just fun. I know it is a big step, but this desire to have her do it (and she said she would video some for me) is so strong I am bursting to have her finally do it. I asked her if she thought I was some kind of freak for wanting his wife to do this, and she just said she was just as much of a freak for wanting to do it.
The person is a complete flipping moron. Let her sleep with another man it proves trust. GTFO. Hard truth women want other men, most women want 3 men at once as a crazy fantasy. Harsh but true. If the other dude is better, then when you sleep with her it wont mean crap. If you want to ruin your relationship go for it. Also think about another guy blowing his load in your wife… I DONT THINK THATS VERY COMFORTING..
Daman,
“Also think about another guy blowing his load in your wife… I DONT THINK THATS VERY COMFORTING..”
Maybe not for the husband/boyfriend but as the wife/girlfriend let’s just say it’s a pretty incredible experience. When a man takes another guys woman to bed it changes the experience. I cannot quite describe how it is different but there is a sexual tension mixed with a carnal lust that makes the experience exhilarating and… yes, very fun and enjoyable.
Most men with a long term partner will finish and be done. In a situation like this the man will normally prolong the love making and require a much shorter recovery period than normal. As women are capable of multiple orgasms this experience can be most beneficial.
A MFM is another very good way to bring out human behavior you would have never suspected existed. Men thrive on competition and watching a woman have an orgasm with another man only increases their need and desire to please her as well. No doubt women really benefit from the extra attention and it does satisfy a very common female fantasy. Men however end of enjoying it far more than they think they will. A win win for all. Till you try it you really cannot comment.
First I should say I hadn’t had sex with my husband in years. For some reason he is turned off by sex. His shrink thinks he is asexual,Hes still a work in progress. He has tryed hard to try and straighten himself out but nothing works. So I’ve been going out on the side which I really enjoy, I’m very sexual , bi and kinky, anything that has to do with sex excites me. I also have a girl friend who lives with us, we run around the house in our underware or naked. This doesn’t affect my husband in any way. he gets no woody from seeing us or when I invite a guy friend over.