Knowing how to use sexy talk just the right way can give you all the power in the bedroom. Here’s how to make your partner want you more than ever.
In all honesty, dirty talk is a very sought-after thing in the bedroom. There’s a reason it’s so popular and there are so many people researching how to do it right. Knowing sexy talk is crucial if you want to get your lover’s attention and keep it.
Because it definitely does just that. When someone starts dirty talking, especially when they never have before, it’s very hot. But why is it so much sexier than just doing the thing you’d say during sexy talk?
Why is talking dirty so much sexier?
There’s something very unique about sexy talk. It’s not the same as just telling your partner you want them. It goes much, much deeper and if you’re good at it, you can say just the right things to make your lover do whatever you want.
And it’s just so hot because it appeals to a person’s primal side. Sex is in our nature and it’s very animalistic. When someone talks dirty to their partner, it’s speaking to that primal side of them and it makes all their senses come alive.
Obviously, not everyone likes dirty talk. For whatever reason, it can make certain people feel uncomfortable and even a little weird. Usually, however, people like it. [Read: 23 sexy tips to dirty talk the naughty way]
How to use sexy talk on your lover and control them in the bedroom
If you really want to take your relationship to the next stage, especially in the bedroom, you’ll want to throw in some sexy talk. Here’s how to talk dirty to your lover in just the right way, along with examples if you’re a little clueless.
#1 Research it first. Yes, I officially give you permission to hop on the Internet and look up porn. For research purposes, obviously. There’s a ton of pornos revolving around sexy talk. Some of them will be a little excessive but you’ll find some that are subtle and definitely hot.
#2 Practice to yourself until it feels comfortable. If you really want to be great at sexy talk, just practice on your own. Get in front of a mirror and say a few things. Some will feel a lot more natural and will actually turn you on a lot more than you might expect.
#3 Play to your partner’s desires. If you know your partner loves to go down on you, then talk about that a lot. You know what they like. If you talk about the things they enjoy most, it’ll be the most effective. Talking about pulling their hair doesn’t work if they don’t actually enjoy that at all. Stick to what they love and you’ll be golden.
#4 Follow through with what you say. Don’t talk a big game and then refuse to do the things you just talked about. Not only is it disappointing if your partner was excited for it, but it also makes anything else you say while sexy talking ineffective. They won’t believe you. [Read: 15 dirty things to say and do in bed]
#5 Be confident. Confidence makes everything so much sexier. Even if you say something silly, saying it with confidence automatically makes it great. You really have to own what you’re saying, especially when you’re talking dirty.
Just saying those types of things sounds really odd otherwise. If you say something, say it with purpose and say it like you mean it. Your partner will go nuts for it.
#6 Get yourself turned on first. If you’re already in the naughty mindset, it’ll make sexy talk a lot easier. You’re already turned on. That means you’re tapped into your primal urges and it’ll be easier to talk about what you like and what you want from them. [Read: How to turn yourself on and get in the mood]
#7 Whisper in their ear. Not only is this really sexy, but it’ll feel really good to them too. The ear is an erogenous zone that’s very, very sensitive. Saying dirty things in your lover’s ear will make them turned on from the sensation and also the naughty images you’re putting in their head.
#8 Use your hands. Don’t just use your voice, throw in some action. If you’re in person and not just doing sexy talk over texting, get physical. Touch them in all the right places and time up your hand movements with what you’re saying. It’ll add that special element to your dirty talk and they’ll be ridiculously turned on.
#9 Be spontaneous with it. Don’t always think that your sexy talk has to be in the bedroom only. Be a little spontaneous. Right before you both leave for work, kiss them and whisper in their ear how much you can’t wait to get home and have your way with them later. Not only is it really surprising, but it’ll kick that anticipation into overdrive. [Read: 18 ways to be more spontaneous]
#10 Practice often! You know what they say. Practice definitely makes perfect. The more you sexy talk, the better you’ll get and the easier it’ll be. So just do it a lot! Obviously, you don’t want to do it so much that your partner gets bored of it. But doing it more and more will help you get a lot more comfortable with all the dirty phrases.
Examples of amazing sexy talk
If you’re someone who learns through examples, we’ve got some great ones for you. Here are a few ways you can learn what to say and what sounds the best. Tailor these phrases to what your partner likes best and use them. [Read: 10 sexy, naughty things to whisper in their ear]
#1 “I need you right now.”
#2 “I can’t wait to see you later so I can have my way with you.”
#3 “I want your head between my legs tonight.”
#4 “I can’t stop thinking about all the ways you make me feel great last time in bed.”
Learning how to sexy talk in a way that gets your partner’s attention can be a huge benefit to you in bed. You’ll be able to take charge and get exactly what you want while spicing up your sex life at the same time.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...