Although one-night stands are casual, you shouldn’t throw safety or manners out the window. Use these 16 steps to get a one-night stand and ace it!
While they can be far simpler than building loving relationships, one-night stands still have their share of challenges you have to overcome in order to make your next exciting tryst a safe, exciting, and pleasurable one.
Relationships are a lot of work; they’re complicated, messy, stressful, and unpredictable. All of the strings attached require a lot of physical and emotional investment, as well as time, energy, and even money. No wonder many see one-night-stands as the way to go.
One-night stands allow you to go from “hi” to “oh-my-goodness, I’m coming!” within just a few hours. No need to work so hard to impress someone, strike up serious or personal conversation, or even make the effort of following up with a courtesy text or call the next day.
Simply put, one-night stands give people like you *and whoever your partner is* a win-win situation: fulfill your primal, carnal urges without all the drama and strings attached.
So, how do you go about it? Read on to find out how you can have a fun, flirty, sexy, and safe one-night stand.
#1 Have the right mindset. Don’t expect to have a relationship if you get into a one-night stand. Actually, don’t expect anything other than sex. Have no illusions about love at first sight, or how this hot-looking person can one day turn into someone you’ll end up marrying. No. When you get into this, you have to be in touch with reality.
#2 Safeguard your emotions. It’s better not to have “chemistry” or “magic” with someone, because you might end up actually liking the person and getting attached to them. Find someone with whom you feel physical attraction, yet no emotional connection—this is the safe way to go.
#3 Leave no mark. By this, we mean no social footprints that might leave your world feeling narrow. Choose someone who is within your wider social circle, such as your friend’s friend’s friend, or that guy that frequents the bar you also go to. This way, you don’t have to be trapped into seeing the person again, and if you want to avoid them altogether, you can just go to a different watering hole. [Try: 16 signs to know if it’ll be a one night stand date]
#4 Be clear about your intentions. Make sure that the fleeting encounter is on mutual grounds. If they are enamored with you and you feel like they might want a deeper relationship, don’t hesitate to abort mission. After all, a single night of celibacy is better than weeks or months of forcing yourself to be in a relationship you don’t really want to be in.
#5 Watch out for needy-clingy ones. No hair-stroking, staying for breakfast, or cuddling after sex. The clingier the other person is, the faster you should get out of their hair.
#6 Keep it light. Of course, you still have to converse, but stay clear of certain personal topics such as family, exes, love lives, and other intimate matters. While you can tell them what you do for a living, don’t ever give them the address to your office. Better yet, steer clear of giving them details about your everyday commute or logistics, just so you lessen the risk of having them “drop by” or “catch up” with you. [Read: 10 worst people you can have a one night stand with]
#7 Experiment. If you’re afraid to experiment or let out your inner porn star in bed with someone you are quite serious about, then a one-night stand is the best—if not the only—chance to do it. That move you’ve always wanted to try? Go ahead. Feeling a little kinky or wanting to role-play? Get your one-night stand partner in on it, too. Not only does it make you more confident, it puts more fun into the whole experience.
#8 Social media buddies? If you’re comfortable with seeing them posting their pics with another person, it’s fine. However, a good rule of thumb to follow is this: if they try to invite or follow you on social media after having sex, don’t accept them. This puts a real person behind the body you just had a rocking good lay with, and it gives you plenty of emotional baggage you don’t need.
#9 No swapping numbers. So, you had a great time and they asked you for your number. The best way to handle this is to turn the tables. Ask for their number and tell them that you will call them. Easy-peasy.
#10 Numbers game. If you have swapped numbers and you feel this is going to be a good f*ck buddy relationship, then take a chance and make that next-day text message. However, all you should say is that you had a great time and that they should contact you if they want to do it again. This puts the ball on their table and rids you of any obligation. [Click to read: How to have a no strings attached relationship]
#11 Stay safe. While one-night stands are generally carefree, it doesn’t mean you can throw your safety—or common sense—out the window. Make sure you know the person’s full name and their address if you’re going to their place. Let at least one of your friends know where you’re going and who you’re with, and set a time the next day when you’ll contact your friend.
#12 Don’t be too drunk. If you can’t walk a straight line to the person, then avoid going home with them—even if they’re smokin’ hot. First, you may just pass out on their doorstep. Second, you may not even remember what happened. Third, you’re setting yourself up for a dangerous situation.
#13 Wrap it up. Of course, since you are practically swapping bodily liquids with a stranger whose sexual and health history you have no idea of, it’s imperative to use protection. Always have at least two condoms with you, whether you are a male or female. This goes without saying if you are planning on leading a sexually active lifestyle. [Check out: Pulling out is completely safe and other bad sex advice]
#14 Make a memorable performance. Although you don’t plan on seeing the other person again, always give your best. Give and receive, and make sure your partner is having fun, too. It’s just part of an unwritten one-night stand rule. Besides, who knows? This could end up as a fuck-buddy relationship.
#15 Plan your exit. Avoid awkward goodbyes by planning how you are going to get out of the picture—and their life. If they are at your place, tell them that you have to be up early for a meeting the next day, or that you’re very tired. This should be a good enough cue for them to leave. If you’re the one who’s at their place, tell them that you have to go. Or be sure to get up and be off before their alarm goes off. Still, there’s always the courtesy of letting them stay the night if they’re with you past midnight.
There you go—one-night stands aren’t as simple as you think. There’s the matter of keeping yourself unattached and, of course, the proper way to curtsy out of their lives or whisk away the clueless sex partner without sounding brash. Still, once you get all these tips down pat, you’ll see that one-night stands are really a great way to get off without getting emotionally entangled.