If you’re into casual sex, keep reading to find out how to have a one-night stand that is memorable… while staying safe inside and out! By Vesna Petrova
Yay for casual sex, right? You get an ego boost, feel liberated, and need no real emotional involvement! But if you aren’t sure how to have a one-night stand that stands out, we have what you need.
One-night stand in theory and practice
Now, in theory, the concept of a one-night stand sounds simple, right? You’re into sex. The person you just met is into sex, so you’re both ready for some passionate, liberated, non-committed sexy time. Thanks for the memories and the awesome sex—and I hope I never see you again!
In practice, things are slightly different. The morning-after air smells like awkwardness, the room looks like a crime scene, and your panic mode is on, because you’re about to leave the room for the legendary walk of shame.
Something something modern society something
Some people think one-night stands are awesome, while others think one-night stand fans are desperate for human contact, so they flop into the bed of any willing party.
We’re saying we live in a modern society, but there are still people who raise an eyebrow when hearing their colleague talking about their amazing one-night stand. Tsk, tsk, tsk, to the eyebrow-raisers!
How to have a one-night stand – And get the most out of your night
The fact that you’re reading this feature shows we’ve already agreed: there’s no shame in a one-night stand. As a matter of fact, there are many advantages. Now, let me share with you some valuable tips on how to have a great one-night stand every time.
#1 Be sober when choosing your one-night stand partner. Or at least reasonably sober. You don’t want to wake up next to a partner who looks like Hatchet Face from Cry Baby.
Yes, I get it. We’re all shy when sober, and we have a tendency to open up more with the help of a couple of drinks. But, if you decided to end up with someone for a one-night stand, please, for the love of *whatever you’re into*, don’t get smashed.
Booze can really be cruel. It makes us want to have sex, but at the same time, makes it difficult to have sex. Oh, and not to mention blowjobs. Blowjobs take forever on drunk guys. And we’re here for one night only, remember? Make it memorable. [Read: 10 sober reasons why drunken sex is never a good idea]
#2 Your place or theirs. You want to know where the magic will take place ahead of time, don’t you? Generally, going back to your place, if possible, is always the best option. Why? Well, one-night stands easily turn into funny business, so if something unplanned happens, you can always alert your roommates to help you out.
However, some prefer not having strangers stay over, so if you’re among this ilk, their place is the better option for you. Plus, it’s easier to make an exit than it is to kick someone out.
#3 Be respectful. A one-night stand should be short-lived and physical. That’s what makes it so spectacular. There are no dinners, no buying expensive perfumes, no meeting parents, and no adding on Facebook. Think of your one-night stand as an on-call orgasm for the night. You’re both here to feed each other’s sexual appetite until the morning—but that doesn’t mean you get to be a douchebag.
It’s in our nature to get attached to things we like, so, if you’re not sure about this person’s feelings, be THAT person and clear things upfront about your intentions before anything goes down or up. Goes down. Goes up. Pun intended. [Read: Top 10 most common one-night stand mistakes]
#4 Be spontaneous. As much as it sounds new and unscripted, when you really think about it, every one-night stand follows a standard protocol. It goes like this: it starts with flirting, leads to a couple of drinks, to making out in the cab, then making out while you’re searching for your home keys, followed by a minute of a foreplay, a little oral, and bam—the grand slam!
Every one-night stand deserves hot foreplay! The making out part before getting to the “crime scene” is hot, sure, but it’s just not enough. Get your juices flowing with some quality foreplay *and floor play* time.
#5 PROTECTION. Okay, this should go without saying, but I can’t talk about one-night stand tips without emphasizing the importance of wrapping it up. If tonight is the night for your one-night stand, don’t leave your home—I repeat—Don’t. Leave. Your. Home. Tonight. Without. Condoms. You don’t want to deal with an unplanned pregnancy or STD later, do you?
What, your fuck buddy doesn’t want to use protection? Did ya hear that noise? That’s the “abandon thread” alarm ringing in your head. That’s right. Don’t be one of those stubborn people who refuses to stay protected just to enjoy an hour of a sexual delight. [Read: Pulling out is completely and other bad sex advice]
#6 Let’s sexperiment. One-night stands provide you the perfect opportunity to sexplore and sexperiment with what gets you hot before you meet your one and only. There are no expectations or pressure from your partner, so you will be liberated to do all those freaky things you’ve always wanted to try.
For example, if you’ve never tried dirty talk before, now is the perfect time to give it a shot. However, make sure you’re not crossing the line between being a freak and creep in bed. You can even talk about your fantasies.
#7 Awkward-and-stress-free. As much as we’re all saying that one-night stands are awesome, the truth is: I’ve read many cringe-inducing one-night stories. How do you avoid awkward situations?
Don’t have breakfast! Spending more time with this person might have consequences, especially if the sex you two had was mind-blowing. You might start to like them and ruin the magic of one *we’ll go ahead and emphasize the word ONE* night by wanting to see each other again.
If you’re insisting on this breakfast thing, you send the signal that you’re feeling lovey-dovey, and that’s the last thing we want right now. If they insist on having a breakfast, just smile, kiss them on the cheek, and leave the apartment. [Read: How to make the walk of shame feel more respectable]
#8 Goodbye, stranger. Before you walk yourself out of the apartment and their life forever, make sure to seal the night with a kiss—even if you regret everything that happened during the night. Leave the apartment with a smile on your face, because a one-night stand, as shocking as it seems, has its manners.
Don’t forget to fix up your face a bit before leaving. The world doesn’t have to know what you did last night. Wash your face, pull your outfit back together, and slip on your sunglasses.
If you’re at your place, wake the sleeping beauty up and explain you must get to work or something. I don’t know—there are thousands of innocent excuses you can come up with, but don’t forget to be nice to the stranger you invited into your bed.
Having a great one-night stand is all about keeping the perfect balance between building strong sexual energy and keeping things at your comfort level. Remember to use protection, stay safe, be spontaneous and respectful, and don’t get too drunk.
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