The idea of anal sex can be confusing and scary. So why do guys like anal sex, or the idea of it? Here’s why they want it, and what you need to do.
Guys and girls are equally curious about anal sex. But while a few girls may consider anal sex with trepidation, most guys are excited by the thought. Why is that? Why do guys like anal sex? Is it because it’s easier for a guy to consider it because he’s not usually the one who has to experience the penetration? We’ll get to the bottom of it all here.
Anal sex used to be something that not many people spoke of a few decades ago. More for the backroom of the video rental store, it was not mainstream—in the least.
With each generation, however, sexual mores break down a little more, and people increase their comfort level.
Enter the internet: men and women are allowed to explore any fetish or fantasy they can dream of. Anal sex used to be something that was more in the “naughty” realm, and something only really promiscuous women engaged in.
Now, it is being talked about in movies, across the internet, and even in high school conversations. So if your guy likes anal sex, that’s normal too. That doesn’t, however, mean that everyone is comfortable with the idea.
[Read: What does anal sex feel like, both physically and mentally?]
Who is having anal sex?
Men have a tendency to enjoy anal sex more than women or, at a minimum, fantasize about it.
In a study conducted a few years ago, over 38% of men between the ages of twenty and thirty-nine and over 32% of women ages eighteen to forty-four had engaged in anal intercourse with a heterosexual partner. That is up over ten percent since 1992.
[Read: The curious guy’s and gal’s guide to first time anal sex]
Anal sex used to have the stigma of being just for homosexual men. An alternative out of necessity, if a man just a couple of decades ago made it known that he was into anal sex, rumors might have abounded about whether he was a closet homosexual.
Things have changed. And now here we are wondering why do guys like anal sex when they shied away from it just a while ago?!
For many, anal sex has nothing to do with homosexual or heterosexual sex. It is about doing something that is creative and secretive with the person you want to be intimate with. Having anal sex is quite arguably the most vulnerable you can be with another person.
Why do guys like anal sex when we have a vagina that works!
It is a very confusing concept to a woman. If you have a vagina to enjoy, why isn’t that enough? Women may wonder why it takes another hole to excite their men.
For many, it feels like what they have is not good enough, that their male partner is bored, or that they enjoy doing things that will hurt.
[Check out: Does anal sex have to be painful? A guide for rump lovers]
Let’s be honest: guys may like the idea of anal sex, but anal sex is painful if you don’t do it right. There are no two ways about it.
It is uncomfortable, and if you aren’t careful, you can end up seriously injured. Feeling sexy about it yet? It is not unusual for a woman not to want to jump in headfirst, shouting, “Sounds like a great idea!”
But then again, is anal sex actually painful?
Most women have this notion that anal sex is extremely painful and uncomfortable. Of course, if you try sticking a finger up your bum when you’re feeling kinky, and immediately feel like pooping, that’s saying something, isn’t it?
The first time you stick your finger in, yes, it feels unusually pleasurable. But as you slide your finger out, you can’t help but feel really uncomfortable and weak, especially if it’s your first time!
But many experienced anal sex lovers would tell you that this new sensation is just that, a whole new sensation.
All you need to do is get past the awkwardness, and prepare yourself for a whole new pleasurable sexual activity! If you think about it, vaginal sex probably felt just as weird the first few times too, right?
[Read: Does anal sex feel painful for you? Here are the 12 mistakes you’re probably making]
Research: Why are guys are enticed by anal sex?
There is evidence to show that anal sex is not a new phenomenon. It has been practiced throughout the centuries by both homosexual and heterosexual couples. And for as far back as the middle ages. Arguments are that men used it to avoid pregnancy.
But that just doesn’t answer the question about why now, with all the birth control means available, they still want to engage in anal sex.
There is some research to suggest that a guy fantasizes about having anal sex with a woman because he knows that the woman has absolutely no intention of using him to get pregnant. Knowing that it isn’t about conception or procreation, a man sees it as a more “raw” act of sexual activity.
There is also evidence to suggest that men like to feel as if women trust them enough, and are willing to give themselves over to them completely, to go places no one else has ever gone. Giving her body over to him, he has ultimate control over her.
Generally, a woman who is willing to give it a try is more open-minded when it comes to sexual experiences and may be more comfortable with her sexual identity.
Willing to take a chance, she is someone who may be more adventurous, more orgasmic, and might know exactly how to turn a guy on.
Why women fear anal sex
Ask any heterosexual man if he would enjoy taking a dildo and inserting it into his anus and, more than likely, he won’t think it’s a good idea.
There seems to be a double standard: it is okay for you, but not for me. Wanting to give, but not receive, it leaves women fearful that it is a selfish act on behalf of their partners.
Not ready to try anal sex with your guy quite yet? Why don’t you try pegging him? Maybe if he’s okay with that, you could give anal sex a thought!
The confusion behind why guys like anal sex is only heightened by the pornographic images spread throughout the internet.
Anal sex is not something intimate between two people, but is shared with the world, and is often performed in a way that appears demeaning to women.
Going from ass to mouth, and watching women demean themselves on camera, confuses many women into thinking that a guy just wants to dominate her and violate her in a violent, disturbing manner.
[Read: 25 common porn myths that many people still believe]
Is anal sex for you?
Sex can be a very loving thing for a relationship—or a very destructive one. No one can answer whether you should try anal sex but you.
The fact that you are researching why guys like anal sex may be an indication that you are intrepid about it.
There is good reason to be fearful: it is not like anything that you have experienced before, and it is something that, if you aren’t ready, will not be a pleasant experience.
The key to knowing whether you should give in and give it a try is to figure out exactly why you would. If you are giving in and giving yourself over because it is something that he wants only, you run the risk of feeling resentful and used.
If you are worried about it, nervous, or just downright opposed, but appease him anyway, it will not be a positive step in your relationship. It may end in anger, a lower opinion of your partner, or feelings of coercion or disrespect.
[Check out: 15 commonly accepted sex myths that are so, so wrong, and that includes anal sex!]
When it may be a bad idea
Just like any sexual encounter that you have with a stranger, a lover, or your spouse, it can’t be something that you feel pressured to do or are not ready for.
If you think that if you just do it for him because your guy likes anal sex, it will make him happy, think again. The things that we do for someone else, at the detriment of ourselves, never work out the way we want them to.
Also, if you give it a try, and he finds out that he really loves it, and you hate it, you’ll find yourself in a real conundrum. It is like introducing a drug, then taking it away.
It will always leave you wondering if he is getting vanilla during vaginal intercourse when he wants chocolate.
The key is your own comfort level. You need to feel like you are making a conscious choice or that you have one at all.
If any guy is pressuring you into doing anything that you aren’t comfortable with, then it is a very bad idea. When someone feels used, humiliated, or taken advantage of, it can break up even the best of relationships.
The last thing you want is for it to remain the elephant in the middle of the room, destroying the active sex life you *probably* already have.
Do you owe the guy anal sex?
Some women feel like they owe their guy a try. Knowing that there are other women who may give him what he wants, you might be afraid that if you don’t engage, he’ll move on.
The truth is, if anal sex is all it would take to make him stray or dump you, he will do it over something else.
Making someone do something they aren’t ready for or are against isn’t love. There is nothing loving about coercing someone into compromising their principles or themselves. [Want to explore before you take the plunge? Check out: How to be a freak in the sheets without being creepy]
The positives: Why you may want to
If you are someone who is not opposed to trying new things and doesn’t take things too seriously, you may want to give it a go. If you’re wondering why do guys like anal sex, you need to remember that many women find it very enjoyable once they get past the first time.
Anal sex can heighten your orgasm, allow you to feel vulnerable with your mate, and may be something that turns you on collectively.
If you have anal sex not just for him, but for the experience it holds for you, it can be something that you can share together.
Like having an inside joke, it can be the one thing that just the two of you have. Doing something that you haven’t done with someone before, anal sex can be a real bonding experience.
The communication involved–even required–will not only heighten sexual arousal, but just may teach you how to be more open about your sexual likes and dislikes. [Try: How to master the rim job and east ass like a real pro!]
If you aren’t sure, it is perfectly reasonable to put it off for a while. Taking the time to make an informed decision may take the fear out of it.
Many great sex toys will give you a taste of what it is like. If you start out small, you may find out quickly whether it is for you or not. Like anything, introducing it slowly may help you both be more comfortable about making a decision.
Most of all, it is important for you not to make an assumption about why do guy like anal sex, or even why your man wants to try it with you.
If you assume it is something lacking in your current sex life, or he wants to debase you, then it isn’t something you are going to be comfortable with.
[Next, read: The misconceptions about anal sex most people get wrong!]
So if you’re still confused and wondering why do guys like anal sex, take the time to talk to him and find out why he wants to try it, and why it appeals to him. Maybe if you can find out why he wants to have anal sex, you will be able to choose whether it is worth giving a try.
