A control freak is a person who wants to be in a position of control all the time. They want to be aware of everything that’s going on around them, and they want to have control over it in some way or the other.
The control freak isn’t easy to recognize yourself, because it’s very well camouflaged by another personality trait, perfectionism.
Many people who assume they’re perfectionists may actually be control freaks, especially when they have an insuppressible urge to control others. Control freaks may believe they’re perfectionists who are really good at what they do, and they may even convince themselves that they’re controlling only because they’re the only one capable of bearing the burden. [Read: 10 steps to be a perfectionist without turning into a control freak]
The stressed side of a control freak
The control freak in us can take over our lives for different reasons. At times, a bad childhood where you felt helpless all the time could force you to become a control freak to control your surroundings, and at other times, your overconfidence and know-it-all attitude too could lead to the same consequences.
The worst part about being a control freak is the annoying tendency to overlook that behavior within us. Control freaks never know they’re control freaks. Instead, they assume they’re generously helpful and concerned about others, and constantly try to help others achieve their full potential by correcting them and keeping an eye on them all the time.
The more helpful the control freak in you thinks you are, the more annoying you could get. Or at other times, the people around you could also take advantage of your overbearing behavior to shirk their own responsibilities and dump it on you! [Read: Why you should never make a wrong person your priority]
The craving to have things your way
The inner control mechanism is our mind’s way of keeping us safe. If you are completely aware of everything around you, then nothing can surprise you, scare you or screw you.
The controlling boyfriend who thinks he needs to take control of his girlfriend’s life, the mother who thinks she needs to micromanage her kids every second of every day because they may get into trouble, or the wife who thinks the husband can’t do anything right are all perfect examples of control freaks in real life. [Read: 15 subtle but scary signs of a controlling boyfriend]
A control freak is always bothered by how others do something, especially if others aren’t doing it the same way the control freak does. And they constantly try to change others around them so other people can follow their methods and ways of life.
Being a control freak is an easy way to stop yourself from evolving or changing, and trying to change the whole world around you just because it’s easy to manipulate others or make them change to match your wants and expectations.
Here are 20 glaring signs of a control freak that could help you recognize the control freak in you. Being a control freak isn’t all bad, but when it affects your life and the people you love, you know you’ve crossed the line into the dark side, don’t you? Use these 20 signs to find out if you’ve crossed over already.
#1 You sincerely believe that others around you are incapable of doing something on their own, and need your constant intervention and guidance just to do something right.
#2 You believe you know what’s best for your lover, your family or even your workplace.
#3 You’re convinced that everything can be completed to perfection only with your involvement.
#11 There’s no pleasing you, and you always find a reason to complain. If the work is done by someone else, you think it’s shoddy. If it isn’t completed yet, you get angry because it hasn’t been done.
#12 You set unreasonably high standards for yourself, which can leave you disappointed and frustrated.
#13 You expect high standards from everyone around you, even if they’re not capable of achieving the high standards you set.
#14 You don’t like it when someone keeps secrets, especially your loved ones. You go out of your way to hear the truth, even if it means doing something unethical and wrong. [Read: 16 attention whore signs to watch out for]
#15 You like making decisions for others, because you believe they can’t make the right decision without your help.
#16 You feel hurt and angry if someone declines to accept your help.
#17 You can’t wait to pick flaws if someone doesn’t involve you with the decision making. It helps you realize your own worth, and makes others realize how important you really are in their lives or plans.
#18 Control freaks hate delegating, and would rather stay up all night working instead of sharing the burden with someone.
#19 You’re easily angered if your partner or a close friend takes a decision without hearing your suggestion first.
Now that you see the real signs of a control freak, do you have it in you? All of us like being in control of our lives, and that’s acceptable. But if you ever find yourself trying to control your environment or another person’s life just to feel better about your own life, well, that’s just wrong. [Read: 16 ways to handle controlling behavior in a relationship]
When you find yourself overstepping the thin line separating suggestion and control, you need to learn to step back. After all, when you start to push someone against a wall, it’s only a matter of time before they start pushing you back. Or worse, they may even hurt you and walk away or start using you by manipulating the control freak in you! [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you and using you]
Remember, no one, not your lover, your friends or your colleagues, can ever rise to the occasion if you don’t want to give them a chance *or if you secretly hope they’ll fail!*
Use these 20 signs of a control freak and fix your controlling attitude. You can’t control someone else however hard you try. And once they believe they don’t need you anymore, everyone you try to control will only walk away from you, or walk all over you!
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Alison Ricard loves sunshine, good books and contagious laughter. And when she isn’t writing, you’ll find her sitting in a café, people watching and commun...