Listen, we can’t be loved by everyone. But do you find yourself asking “why do people hate me” way too often? Here are some clues.
There are some people I just can’t stand. Do I hate them? Well, hate is a pretty strong word, but yes, yes I did. Whenever I would see them, I would feel my body become hot and my need to punch them that much stronger. Did I ever talk to them? No. But something about them had me brewing.
Was it their fault? Even though I would like to say yes, for the most part, it wasn’t. But, if you’re reading this, you’re on the other side of the story. Having the thought, “why do people hate me” lingering in your mind isn’t something that should be happening. But, you have to figure out if these negative emotions are because of you… or because of them.
15 reasons you’re asking “why do people hate me”
Who wants everyone to like them anyways? Boring. Okay, okay. Some people may not agree. But let’s face it – it’s not realistic to think everyone will like you. So, here are 15 possible reasons you’re asking yourself “why do people hate me?”
#1 You’re more successful. Jealousy is a very strong emotion – and it’s an ugly one. But so many people are jealous of others who are more successful than they are.
This success could mean simply that you did better in school or have a higher paying job. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but it’s what keeps the whole competitive wheel in motion. People don’t like feeling like losers. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]
#2 You remind them of themselves. This is usually the top reason for why you would hate someone without having a significant reason. Who wants to admit that they’re flawed, ya know? Point is, you probably have more in common with that person than you’d like to think. You are them, and that’s why you hate them.
#3 You signify their failures. Maybe you hate this guy because at one point you both had the same job, but he got the raise and you were demoted. Now, every time you see this guy, you’re reminded of the time where you told you were less than what you are. I mean, I can’t expect you to now look at the guy and be filled with joy.
#4 They don’t have what you have. People may hate you simply because you have qualities that they lack. Maybe you have more Instagram followers, a close circle of friends, a new car – I know this shit sounds stupid, but it’s true.
#5 You threaten them. I’ve sat next to someone’s boyfriend and talked to them socially, and all of a sudden, their girlfriend comes and gives me a hateful glare. I’ve never spoken to her in my life, but I’m talking to her boyfriend and that’s too close for comfort. I’m perceived as a threat. Do I want her boyfriend? No. But for her, I’m walking into her territory.
#6 They don’t feel safe around you. People need to feel safe. Do you typically hang out with people who you feel unsafe around? Exactly. It could be just the fact that you’re a stranger that they don’t know, or maybe you like to live on the wild side of life. Either way, if it puts people’s safety in question, you’re probably not their favorite.
#7 You brag. You just loooove to name drop and flash all the diamonds on Instagram. You probably have a decent amount of people who think you’re cool, but anyone with a brain will dislike you. Why? Because you’re tacky and cheap. Plus, mix that in with a little jealously… and there you go, you have hate.
#8 You think you know it all. You went to Yale, we know, we ALL know. And with that Arts degree, you’re the Einstein of our generation, or at least you’d like to think so.
#9 You’re selfish. It’s always only about you. In fact, no one can remember when you were there to help them with an issue they had. They only remember sitting beside you when you were dumped or went bankrupt. You’re selfish. Just admit it. Once you admit it, go have a bath and call your mom.
#10 You use people. You actually don’t have a true friend. All the friends you have are due to your own self-interest. Though it works in the beginning, people start to notice fairly quickly, especially when you only call them when you need something. People don’t like being used. It’s a pretty easy way to get people hating you.
#11 You lie. If you want to get people to hate you, then lie. It’s the most efficient way. Lying breaks trust in people, thus, they start to dislike you. So, if you can’t even be honest with what you had for breakfast, maybe you need to seek some therapy. Because lying won’t get you friends. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and the people in your life]
#12 You use your brain. This may come as a surprise, but most people are mindless drones – sheeps. So, if you’re someone who questions and critically analyzes, people aren’t going to like you much. Should you care about this? No. Because you’re one of the rare ones. Keep thinking, and hopefully, someone else will join you.
#13 You don’t let other people talk. So, you’re a talker. It’s not a bad thing. What is a bad thing is that you never let anyone else talk, and then you cut them off when they try to.
You can be the star of the conversation without completely running it. The whole point of socialization is for people to talk and build relationships. If they wanted to listen to you preach, they would join a church or sit in a lecture. [Read: 15 tips to be nice and loved by all instantly]
#14 You’re an energy sucker. That’s right. If someone is in a good mood, you make sure you get some of what they’re having. You just take and take and take until they’re pruning up in the corner. People tend to stay away from people who literally suck the energy out of them. You have to change that by finding your own energy.
#15 You acknowledge none of these attributes. You may have read through this and thought, “but I don’t do any of these things.” You do… and that’s the problem. If you think you’re unflawed, well, you clearly live in a bubble. Pop it, and then read this feature again.
Now you know why you are asking “why do people hate me” and you can stop. Listen, it could be a combination of things, but the best place to start is by looking at yourself. Let’s reduce the amount of hatred.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...