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What to Do When You Like Someone Else?

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Appreciating or liking someone else is acceptable, but what should you do about it? Find out what to do when you like someone else and you’re already in a relationship.

i like someone else | what to do when you like someone else

Do you like someone else even though you’re already in a relationship?

Sometimes, you may jump into a new relationship only to find that you don’t really like the person and like someone else.

At other times, you may be in a relationship for a long time and find yourself getting deeply attracted to another person.

You can’t really stop your heart from liking someone else or getting attracted to some other person other than your own lover, and if that does happen, it’s inevitable.

But what are you going to do about it?

That’s what really matters when you find yourself in crossways and have to decide between the older and trusted path and the new and riskier path.

What to do when you like someone else?

You may find yourself liking someone else when you least expect it.

It may be their personality or the electric chemistry that both of you share.

A bit of flirting can be harmless, but what if the infatuation grows over time and becomes an obsession?

While it’s natural to find someone else attractive at times, deciding what to do about it is never easy.

One of the first things you really need to do is evaluate your own relationship. Are you happy to be in love with your partner? Can you see your own lover in your life five years from now? If you’re going to be confused about your relationship status each time you like someone outside the relationship, there’s obviously something wrong with your relationship.

Perhaps, you’re being fickle, or think you’re too good for your partner or you’re just not happy to be in the relationship. [Read: Why are women fickle in love?]

When you like someone else, you really need to ask yourself why you’re falling for another person when you’re already in a relationship. While an infatuation or a little crush is completely acceptable, falling in love when you’re already in love can be a bit of a confusion, to you and even to your own partner who would confront you eventually.

New love and a new fling

Have you just fallen in love with someone and find yourself getting attracted to someone else in no time? Now it’s not really easy to fall in love with two people at the same time, especially at the start of a new and happy relationship.

If you’re experiencing the confusion of liking someone else in a new romance, you’re probably not in love at all! [Read: How to know if it is love or lust]

Exciting, isn’t it? It’s easy for you to fall in love and break up, only to fall in love with someone else in no time because you’re not really in love at all. Even when two people do fall in love with each other, it’s only an infatuation for the first few weeks or months. There’s no real love until the sexual excitement and the tingle of those stolen touches fade away. So if you find yourself liking someone else after getting into a relationship, end it if you really must. After all, it’s better to be happy with someone you really like than stay gloomy with someone you think you like.

A long term relationship and a new crush

Are you in a long term relationship with your partner? When you first fall in love, life can seem rather exciting. You’re exploring the world with someone new and everything looks fresh and exciting. The wooing and pursuing stage of love can be thrilling and can give you a lot of exciting sleepless nights.

But as the relationship starts to get older, it ages and matures into a romance that isn’t just about sexual excitement or wooing each other. What keeps a long term relationship alive is the compatibility, communication and the emotional maturity of the two lovers. [Read: How to stay in love forever]

If you start liking someone else when you’re in a long term relationship, perhaps you’re just experiencing that flutter of the first few days of love and confusing it with something else. You may assume that the new person in your life excites you more, but in reality, your present relationship may have experienced the same crackling chemistry and fiery passion too. Ask yourself if there’s truly a stronger reason to end your relationship and be with someone else.

Just experiencing sizzling chemistry isn’t reason enough to end an older and seasoned happy relationship. After all, even a relationship with your new crush could turn out to be the same in a year or two. What then, are you just going to keep switching partners all your life? [Read: Are you experiencing a crush or limerence?]

What should you do?

Firstly, make up your mind on whether you want to do anything at all. It’s easier to think of a new crush as harmless flirting and stay away from anything serious. You may like someone, but they may not really like you back in the same manner that you like them. On the other hand, you may really like someone intensely, but this person may not have the qualities you’re looking for in a long term partner.

If you really do love your current partner, avoid falling into the confusion of loving two people. It’s just not worth it.

But if you’re not really happy in your relationship or don’t really see a future in it, you may want to consider this new dating potential and see where it goes. But two timing your current partner is never a good thing either.

Always remember this in love. End a relationship because you want to or because you’re not happy in it. Never end a relationship because you think you’ve found someone better. It’s going to hurt you or even backfire on you at some point.

Should you stay in your old relationship?

If you’re convinced that you like someone else and not your own partner, then end the relationship if you think you can never truly be happy with your partner. But if you’re unsure, give your relationship another shot. Have a frank discussion with your partner and tell them that you’re not very happy in the relationship. Together, try and give your relationship another chance to redeem its love and happiness. You owe your relationship at least that much.

But even after repeated tries, if you find that the relationship isn’t really keeping either partner happy or no matter how hard you try, you just don’t seem to find the excitement in love, perhaps, it’s time to end it. Don’t end it because you like someone else, end it because the relationship isn’t working out. [Read: Best way to end a relationship]

Making up your mind when you like someone else

When you leave a relationship in the hope of finding something better with someone else, you’re taking a leap of faith. And at times, this can become a fickle and repeated experience where you like someone, and when the infatuation dies, you think the relationship’s dead too.

The best thing to do when like someone else is to let it go. If you’re not happy in your relationship, end it but don’t wait for someone else to come along.

In life, you’re going to meet a lot of people you’d be attracted to and many other people who’d be attracted to you. When you’re in a secure and happy relationship, nothing else matters.

Like someone if you must. Have a secret crush on a few people. Fantasize about it. And leave it. That’s the best way to stay in a happy relationship and get over the little crushes that pop up every now and then. Lovers who get confused or find themselves liking someone else do that only because they’re uncertain of their own relationship status. If you do love your own partner a lot, you may have a crush on someone else, but you’d never be able to compare the affections you have for your new crush and your own partner.

Think about it and make up your mind. If you’re happy in love, stay away from secret flings.

If you feel you deserve better or are not happy in your relationship, keep an eye open. Or better yet, end the relationship and open both your eyes!

[Read: What to do when you're in love with two people?]

Have you made up your mind on what to do if you like someone else? Well, it is decision time. What’s the first thing that pops in your mind? Think… In all probability, that’s the answer to your question.


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Have your say!
  • Esmeralda
    October 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    well ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 10 months and before him i had a guy bestfriend that i just started to like and i known him since i was a kid because our parents are friends…and me and him have always have had this electric spark but never did really anything about it…just last summer we admitted our feelings towards eachother but i got scared and friend zoned him..then he stopped talking to me for about 3 months without any explanation, i was furious so i moved on with life and started talking to this old friend i know who i use to like, over time me and my friend (current boyfriend named marco) got closer and closer and started talking and both wanted to be with eachother , we finally started dating after 3 months and now weve been dating for 10 months. But ever since me and him have started dating i would on and off talking to my old best friend just as friends but ive always had feelings for my old bestfriend.. and since my feelings have been going on for this long, i feel like it most likely means something. i always think about my old best friend and my feelings for him. and these past two months ive been getting this gut feeling that i should break up with my boyfriend and i love my boyfriend so much and i talk to him everyday and i dont want to hurt him and im scared and dont know what to do…

  • star
    April 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    once you decide to end the relationship with your boyfriend because you realize you get attracted to other people and want to do something about it, how do you break up with your boyfriend? (do you tell the truth about liking someone else?)

  • Kelly
    June 20, 2014 | Permalink |

    Husband obviously has/had crush on a coworker. Problem is I not t only heard about her often. He had a bunch of photos of her on his phone that he refused to delete. Also, was neglecting me and up late on Facebook, with video chat installed (swore he never used it). His crush was a Facebook friend, and I have suspicion s that they were having video sex.

  • milroy gibson
    July 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have been with a girl for just over 2 months and we haven’t gotten anywhere, it has practically died and lately, I came across another friend and I sat for a while and we chatted for quite some time, and now it’s gotten to the point where I have realised I like this new girl, however she knows about my relationship, and I am unsure as to whether I will be able to be with the new girl, what can I do?

  • Kate
    July 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    If you’re married, you made a lifetime commitment. Take the sexual energy you have and put it into the marriage. Get to a marriage counselor and work things out with your current love. If you’re must dating though, you might want to think about it for a while and consider changing your relationship to nonexclusive, telling the person it’s not fair to them right now because you’re confused and can’t give them everything they deserve.

  • Anne
    July 29, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m feeling so confused right now and just want to get it off my chest. Lately I’ve had this weird connection with my manager at work. It’s just been talking and clicking a lot never really flirting or saying anything direct to each other that would be considered bad. But I just like talking and teasing each other with him. We just have great chemistry. Today though we were teasing as us and he ended up telling me my smile was beautiful. I just laughed and said thank you and that was that but I got these huge butterflies in my stomach after that. And now I’m starting to feel like I actually have a crush on this guy. But he’s really not my type I don’t find him attractive really and he’s like 4 years older than me. On top of all this I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 5 years and we live together. I’m honestly happy with my boyfriend. We connect great as well and he’s grey to me and I really see myself marrying him. So why the heck am I crushing on this guy? I don’t want to leave my current relationship AT ALL. But at the same time something deep inside of me desires this other guy. I feel like I should just ignore it and let it pass. I just don’t want to end up ever making a stupid mistake and cheating because I would be heartbroken to ever lose my boyfriend he means so much to me. The heart is so weird right?

  • Lorraine
    August 20, 2014 | Permalink |

    The most important thing you need is to come clean to your own feelings, and take into consideration the bond you’ve formed and the relationship you’ve been having with the current boyfriend…

    I recently made the decision to leave the forbidden relationship with the “other” guy… I know it’s the only morally “right” thing to do… There is nothing else I can stand by other than what is “right” and “wrong”. That was the sole reason I pushed myself to end it. I’m devastated at the loss of the “other guy”. We had such an AWESOME chemistry. He was the whole package; personality, looks, brains, maturity and style.

    But I did not want to lose my boyfriend. He means so much more to me. Some said the only reason why I even gave the “other guy” a chance to woo me, was because there were already cracks in my relationship; and I agree. But the reason why I chose my boyfriend in the end was not because he was a “safe option”, but because he also means a lot to me and I would not be able to forgive myself if I lose someone like him because of some crush, lust and irrational thoughts.

    Too bad he’s my boyfriend’s boss.
    And it hurts me every time I see the boss, because we all work at the same place.

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