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Toxic Friends: The 10 Biggest Signs to Watch Out For and Get Out

toxic friends

Toxic friends are the ones like poison. Every time you drink them in, you end up poorer and feeling bad. Spot their poison before you succumb.

There are some people who are good for us and others who are the opposite. I am that person who no matter how many times someone kicks me down, I not only get back up; I am right there asking for more. If you ignore these ten biggest signs of toxic friends, you do yourself a huge disservice.

10 obvious signs you have toxic friends

For people who judge themselves by what others think, letting go or ghosting a friend is not just difficult, it can be nearly impossible. But, if someone is toxic to your self-esteem and life, then you have an obligation to yourself to get away as fast as you can.

Toxic people do nothing but make you miserable, keep you down, and convince you it is your responsibility to carry the friendship.

Friendship is truly a two-way street. If your toxic friends treat you like a one-way ticket to hell, then it might just be time to ghost them.

#1 They break plans with you all the time. There are times when we make plans, and something comes up, and we have to break them. But, if that is what your “friend” does about three out of four times, chances are they keep you in the wings in case they can’t find anything better to do.

Once a better event or thing comes along, you are the first thing dropped from their calendar. Not only letting you down, but they also squash your self-esteem by never making you a priority whether you choose to recognize it or not. [Read: 15 clear signs it’s time to cut a friend loose]

#2 They say things behind your back. Toxic people say mean things behind your back and nice things to your face. The rule of thumb is that if they viciously say mean things to you about someone else, then they probably say mean things about you to someone else.

Once a backstabber, always a backstabber. It truly is a personality trait. Someone who doesn’t know what line not to cross will cross it whenever you cross them. It is just a matter of time. [Read: How to beware of backstabbers]

#3 They repeat your secrets. You shouldn’t have to say, “This is just between you and me,” when you tell your friend something that you don’t want everyone to know. If they pretend as if they didn’t know it was something you didn’t want to be shared, they are full of shit.

No one tells your secrets to someone else without knowing it is wrong. If you said it in silence and outside of a group, then you meant for it to be hush-hush. There isn’t any way they didn’t know it.

#4 The joke is always at your expense. Sometimes toxic friends keep minions or wingmen. If you feel like the sidekick only around to make your friend look attractive, witty, and smart, then they probably use you to make themselves look better.

If every conversation you have with them starts with some embarrassing thing you did at some point, they use you as bait to make themselves appear the better person and way more popular. [Read: Bad friends and the right time to end a shitty friendship]

#5 They ask you to do things that you wouldn’t ever ask of someone else. If they ask you to move, go retrieve things from their ex’s house, babysit their dog every weekend, or things with a high imposition, and you wouldn’t feel comfortable asking the same from them, then you are being used.

Toxic friends see the people they hang out with as a means to their ends. They never stop asking for things, nor do they think some things are out of line. You are just there to help them out, period.

#6 They always leave you poorer and feeling used. If they constantly forget their wallet, ask you to order tickets and they will “pay” you back, or if their round is always the next round that never rounds, then they use you. There is nothing more toxic than someone in a friendship only for themselves.

Sure, if someone goes through a rough patch and you have a little more, it is natural for you to pick up the tab until they get on their feet. But, if it’s been a while and they still let you pay their way, that isn’t a friend. You are nothing but their sugar daddy.

#7 They aren’t ever around when you need them. If your problems appear to irritate them, they aren’t ever around when you need something, or when you break up with your partner they seemingly disappear, then they aren’t ever there in your hour of need. Friendship isn’t always fun, nor is it supposed to be.

The sign of a toxic friend is how they can’t be bothered with what bothers you. Unless, it bothers them. Also, if you bother them, then they can’t be bothered with you. [Read: How to spot manipulative people and stop playing the victim]

#8 They are your instant best friend. If someone is your instant bestie and can’t get enough of you, then you might want to reevaluate things. Sure, we all have times when we have quick crushes, but if they appeared out of nowhere and have no one from their past that they keep in touch with, there is always a reason.

If they suddenly have no one in their life but you, then they left someone behind, or they were left behind for a reason. We aren’t all super popular and have a ton of friends, but if you are their only friend and you just met them yesterday, there is a good likelihood that they have a history of being toxic to others. [Read: Selfish people – 15 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

#9 They always steal your thunder. If they always belittle your accomplishments or what you do, then they aren’t supportive of you. If every time you do or achieve something awesome, they downplay it or hush you from talking about it, then they care only about what goes on in their world. They steal your thunder.

Self-involved people don’t want to hear about anything great but them. [Read: 12 ways to stop negative people from sapping your energy]

#10 They are always mad at someone. One of the most toxic kinds of friend is the one who always has to be mad at someone. We all know the one. They aren’t very happy with themselves, so they find a target for their angst. There is always someone who has done them wrong, or they are on the outs with.

If you think you are exempt from this type of toxic friend, think again. I promise you, it eventually comes back around to you. You will be the target at some point. If someone is super nasty to someone else, just imagine how that will feel when you are their next object.

[Read: 25 early warning signs of toxic people]

Friends are supposed to make us feel loved and supported. If the person you call your friend isn’t doing that for you, then they really are nothing but poison to you. Watch out for these toxic friends.

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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