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Should You Get Married? 14 Ways to Know if it’s for You

should you get married?

If you’re unsure whether or not you want to hear wedding bells in the future, this will help you know if you’re ready to get married.

Marriage isn’t for everybody. And no, I don’t mean it’s not for the chronic cheater or hopeless floozy that can’t seem to keep it in their pants. I’m saying even for the average person in a committed relationship, marriage isn’t always their aspiration.

Many women-and some men-have marriage on their horizons from a very young age. Some of us have even picked out our bridesmaid’s dress colors, designed our wedding dress, and know exactly where we want to get married.

I, for one, don’t have a “Wedding” board on Pinterest, nor do I have a color scheme or wedding dress already picked out. I know too many of my young friends-that are still single, mind you-that have all of this decided already. Because they are sure they want to get married someday.

Maybe marriage just isn’t for you

If you’re like me, you’ve started realizing many people around you are getting married and you haven’t even given it a second thought. Maybe you’re single and happy about staying that way, but perhaps you’re in a relationship and just don’t see a wedding in your future.

Either way, you’re not alone. Getting married used to be all about tradition and it was a sort of ritual that gave you a different last name or gave your last name away, and you were declared a family by a piece of paper provided by the court. [Read: 8 big reasons why it’s completely fine to never get married]

Should you get married?

Now I’m not saying marriage is horrible or anything like that. I’m just saying getting married might not be for you. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking myself, and I honestly just don’t know if getting married is all that big of a deal for me. If you’ve been having some conflicting feelings about getting married, these 14 signs will help you determine if you should or should not get married.

You Shouldn’t

These are all the subtle signs you don’t need or want to get married. They show marriage isn’t for you and that’s perfectly fine.

#1 You’ve never given it much thought. If you’re one of the rarities amongst us, then maybe you’ve never really contemplated getting married before. Maybe the thought of a wedding never really crossed your mind. It’s not like you’ve never wanted a life partner or a family, but the wedding part just never entered your mind. This is a sign marriage might not be for you.

#2 Your friends getting married doesn’t put pressure on you. If you feel zero pressure to get married when everyone else is, it’s definitely a sign you don’t put a lot of thought or care into whether or not you get married. [Read: Last one to get married? Why you shouldn’t worry at all]

#3 You are content in your committed relationship. If you don’t feel the need to document your love for someone with a piece of paper and are fully happy in the relationship you’re currently in, marriage might not be for you. Not all life-long relationships have to be bound by a document and you understand and appreciate that.

#4 You can’t see yourself long-term with anyone. Sometimes, people just can’t see themselves with only one person for the rest of their life. And since marriage is basically vowing to do just that, marriage might not be for people like that.

#5 You’re too much of a free spirit. Meaning, you travel and get crazy and don’t have the desire to stop and share your life with anybody because you’re happy with living your life for yourself. If you’re this person, then you just don’t have the time to settle down and give yourself to one person for such a long time.

#6 You like the freedom of walking away when your relationship goes bad. Divorce? Oh, hell no. If you would rather be able to pack your bags and leave peacefully without the dreadful paperwork and court dates-like me-then you shouldn’t get married. [Confession: Why I should never have gotten married]

#7 You don’t want to split your belongings 50/50 forever. I don’t know about you, but I like my stuff. And I like my stuff to remain my stuff and all mine. Call me selfish, but I don’t want to be legally obligated to give 50% of everything to someone else for the rest of my life-even if I think they’re “the one.”

You Should

Some people just shouldn’t get married, if you agree with the above signs, then you shouldn’t. But if you find yourself falling under the following categories, marriage could be in your horizon.

#1 You want to be bound to your love for the rest of your life. If you 100% never want to spend your life with anyone but the person you’re with *or could be with if you’re single*, then marriage is a way to bind that feeling and make it something real, and it’s for you. [Read: 14 undeniable signs your man wants to spend the rest of his life with you]

#2 You’ve always dreamed of being a “wife” or “husband.” When someone asked you if you’re going to have a wife or husband when you’re older, and you replied with, “Duh! Of course!” then marriage has always been in your horizons. You should get married if it’s always been on your mind.

#3 You want to fully be a “family” in all sense of the word. Some people don’t need to share last names to be a family. However, if-to you-family means you are a spouse and have children and everyone in the family has the same last name, marriage is for you.

#4 Marriage is basically a tradition for you. Some people feel getting married is traditional and even ceremonial in their family. Some religions require marriage before entering into any physical relationship as well. If this is the case with you, you should get married to the right person.

#5 You’re willing to split everything with someone else for the rest of your life. The fact that you’ll be sharing everything *and I mean everything* with someone else forever doesn’t bother you at all. In fact, you want to share your life and belongings with someone else for the rest of your life. [Read: 20 great reasons to get married and live happily ever after]

#6 You understand if things don’t work out, divorce happens. Although you are entering a marriage 100% certain they’re the one for you, sometimes complications happen down the road and things can go wrong. You should only get married if you understand divorce is a possibility and you’re okay dealing with that aspect of marriage if it should happen.

#7 You’ve always pictured your wedding since you were younger. This is mainly for all those girls out there who have been planning their wedding since they were little, but it’s true for everyone. Even when I ask little boys if they’re going to get married someday, they usually respond with, “Well, duh!” This means they’re even picturing their life being married.

If you’ve always pictured your wedding and all the decorations, it’s no longer just another aspect of life, but a dream of yours. And you should always follow your dreams. Just marry the right person and don’t let your dreams blind you. If this is you, then you should get married.

[Read: 17 things you HAVE to do before getting married if you don’t want any regrets]

Getting married is not an easy life event, and it’s not for everybody. These 14 signs will tell you if marriage is for you or if you’re better off not having that wedding.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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DISCUSSION

5 thoughts on “Should You Get Married? 14 Ways to Know if it’s for You”

  1. annalise k. says:

    A really nice article, I have to say that. I have noticed that youngsters nowadays are not always for marriage which leads to breakups or unwanted anxieties. Every person in life should stand before the mirror one day and write down the path he/she wants for life. I certainly belong in the group that should get married. Marriage, for me, is one of the best things and the biggest milestone in one’s life. I cannot put it into words, but marriage can give some kind of peace and a sense of power in a person nothing other than that can.

  2. Silvba says:

    I know that I am getting married. It is because that I have found the perfect partner and I know I did. I have had each other since day one but we didn’t really know it yet. At the time, I had a girlfriend when we first met. There was just something there when we look into each other’s eyes. We paid no mind to it. I was always going about my own business. There came a point where I was at the verge of breaking up with my current girlfriend at the time. We did end of breaking up and the first thing I do is chat my now wife on facebook. I came to know her in a matter of hours. We spent all night talking to each other and I knew that we just clicked. Everything fell into place. She was everything that I could ever ask for and I couldn’t ask for more. She’s all I need and all that I want. We wandered together in this world as lost souls and now we have truly found each other. It’s magic, I tell you. If you see someone and you look into each other’s eyes and you feel a certain glow in them. Pursue them, there’s a connection between you two and it’s better if you truly act on it because it will make or break your future happiness in love.

  3. White says:

    My Brother in laws wedding was a disappointing sham. Everyone on our side of the family had to drive three hours to the brides hometown so her whole family could attend the wedding. When we get there, the bride and MOH are cooking the reception meal because the Mother of bride decided last minute that she didn’t want to. The ceremony starts, and absolutely no one from the brides family is there. The reception has no alcohol, no music whatsoever, we had to watch a 20-30 minute belly dancing performance because one of her friends was a belly dancing instructor.My boyfriend and I were the only guests out of about thirty that had brought them a gift, literally, there was a gift table with no envelopes or gifts at all on it. The brides mother left the reception early ” because the thrift store was closing soon”. By the time the reception ended my boyfriend and I ended up helping the bride and groom clean the reception hall because everyone else left.The real kicker is that we later found out that it was just a ceremony, no real marriage because the bride wanted to stay married to a previous husband for financial reasons . This wedding was just a sham to convince her family that she had finally settled down with a good guy. Drove three hours to attend fake wedding because bride is white trash.

  4. Unicorn farts says:

    Marriage isn’t just a legal contract, it’s an open commitment of love before my SO and the rest of our family and friends. Hence, we will have some kind of ceremony and party to celebrate. The benefits, the benefits, the benefits. There are 1,138 federal benefits to a legally recognized marriage. If you want those benefits, it costs a shitload less to just fill out the paperwork for a marriage then to have a lawyer come and draft all the paperwork for you, notarize it, file it legally, etc. Further, if you lose your copies of the contracts that you create in lieu of marriage, you have no proof of it and you’re fucked. Can’t try and cover up a marriage.

  5. parking lot says:

    Reasons women want to get married: It is a symbolic gesture of our love and commitment to one another The wedding itself gives friends and family an excuse to even for a day truly celebrate our relationship and life together Increased simplicity in dealing with a lot of factors in western society which promoted marriage (taxes, leases, insurance, visiting rights, POA, eventual child rearing, etc). Obviously a couple can still be incredibly happy and not hit many speed bumps choosing to be committed without a legal marriage, and for other people the above three reasons may seem completely moot or insignificant, but these were significant enough for my wife and me, that we wanted to have a legal wedding with a ceremony and reception. I don’t expect to convert any others to my way of thinking, but I would appreciate some level of respect for my right to choose to do the “normal” thing and enjoy the net benefits of marriage and not turn my interpersonal relationship into a platform for debates on politics and philosophy.

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