Some say sex is a big part of a relationship, while others say you can make it work without it. Here’s the truth about a sexless relationship.
I think we can all agree that sex is great and is probably the one thing that means your relationship is at a serious level. You wait that certain amount of time before finally getting intimate with the one person you trust more than anyone else.
We all kind of take the moment of sex as the defining point in our relationships. After we’ve had sex with someone, we consider them really important to us. And we consider the relationship confirmed and solidified.
Why would two people refrain from sex in a relationship?
There are a lot of reasons two people would decide not to have sex in their relationship. Some may wait until they’re married before they do it, but even then, they do have sex in their relationship. Some may avoid it because they’re asexual and just don’t want to.
Others may get into arguments and decide that they’ll stay together, but without the sex in general. All of these are reasons people choose not to have sex, but will their relationship suffer if they choose to live like this? [Read: Tips on how to survive a sexless marriage]
Can a sexless relationship last?
And now here is the answer to the question you’ve all been waiting for. We’ve all heard how important sex is in a relationship, but we never heard about if you can last without it.
This is how sex can impact your relationship, and a lack of it can make things difficult for you. Overall, each relationship is different, and it depends on what YOU think of sex in a relationship that determines whether or not it can last.
#1 Sex brings you closer. There’s a bond that is unlike anything else when you have sex. You can spend as much time as you want going to the movies and cuddling with someone, but it will never amount to how beneficial sex is.
When you’re in a relationship, you have to be really close to your partner. You have to know them better than anyone else, because that is what makes your relationship last a long time. Sex is a HUGE part of making that happen.
#2 It makes you empathetic toward the other. When you get intimate in a way that involves sex, it’s really difficult not to feel what the other person is feeling when it comes to your emotions. Therefore, having sex can make you more empathetic toward your partner.
Not only does this make you feel connected to them, but it also can prevent arguments and hurting each other. When you are sexually active with someone, it makes it really difficult to hurt them in any way – which can make your relationship much stronger. [Read: Sexless marriage – how erotica saved my life]
#3 It reduces stress/tension. We all know how much stress and tension can add to the downfall of a relationship. Stress leads to outbursts that may cause harm to the other person’s feelings, and that can get bottled up until they no longer want to be with you.
When you have sex with them, you’re reducing that stress and tension and allowing yourself to relax with them. This is extremely beneficial to making a relationship last. However, there are other ways of reducing stress that doesn’t always involve sex. [Read: 14 incredible benefits of sex that’ll make you want more]
#4 It can heighten your self-esteem. Having confidence and high self-esteem in a relationship is an extremely vital part of making a relationship last, because it stops the jealousy and accusations.
When you have sex with your partner it makes you feel loved, good about yourself, and you feel as if they really care about you.
#5 It creates affection. How long do you think a relationship can last without affection? When your partner doesn’t walk up to you, give you a hug or a kiss on the forehead, or tell you how much you mean to them, the relationship is likely to fizzle out pretty quickly.
Sex can make that affection happen. When you sleep with someone, you automatically feel affectionate toward them. Many couples that are struggling with affection are told to have more sex, because it is such a big part of being affectionate toward each other! [Read: Emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy – The chicken or the egg?]
#6 Sex isn’t love. Having sex with someone doesn’t translate to you loving them. You can be completely in love with someone and never even touch them in a sexual way.
#7 Not having sex can make you question their feelings. If you don’t have sex with your partner, it can be hard to remember how they feel about you. There’s really nothing that’s reinforcing the fact that they find you attractive, sexy, or even that they like you.
When you don’t have sex, it can be really easy to forget how someone feels about you – especially if they’re not good at showing their feelings in the first place. Many sexless relationships don’t last simply because they no longer think their partner has feelings for them.
#8 Sex makes you feel like a unit. One of the most important things regarding making a relationship last is acting as though you’re a unit. You have to be connected with someone in a way that feels like you’re just one complete package.
When you have sex, you get that feeling. It’s like you’re just one complete unit and no one can split you apart. When you have a sexless relationship, you can become too separate, and that can drive a rift between the two of you. [Read: How to create sexual chemistry and make it stay]
#9 Not having sex also gets rid of the pressure. There is a good part about not having sex, though, that can make a sexless relationship worth a try. When you don’t have sex, you get rid of all that pressure to perform well, please your partner, and even groom yourself to look good for their liking.
#10 Overall, sex is SUPER important in a happy, healthy, and connected relationship. My personal opinion on this matter – and one that is backed by much science with few exceptions – is that a sexless relationship won’t last. Sex is far too important in the grand scheme of a relationship to be ignored.
Sex brings you closer to a person in a way that nothing else can. If you’re in a sexless relationship, no amount of talking or cuddling can bring you as close as having sex.
All in all, whether or not a sexless relationship can last is completely up to the couple and what they value in a relationship. However, we can’t ignore the benefits of having sex in your relationship.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...