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10 Big Problems in a Relationship and How to Fix it

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Relationships can be perfect. But that doesn’t mean it won’t have its problems. Find out the big problems in a relationship and learn how to fix it. By Alison Ricard

problems in a relationship

Relationships are one of the first things that all of us take for granted.

We don’t want to take it for granted.

But yet, we forget how much something really matters to us when we don’t stand to lose it.

And it usually takes losing something to realize its importance and value.

Wondering what the big problems in a relationship are, and what you can do to overcome it?

[Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]

Problems in a relationship

Depending on the kind of relationship you share with your partner, the problems in a relationship too could be just as unique.

But almost always, all problems in a relationship find their place in ten big areas.

At some point or the other, these problems have a way of creeping into your romance.

Keep an eye on these issues, and understand how to overcome it, and you’ll see how easy it can be to eliminate all the frustrations you experience in a relationship.

10 big problems that need your attention

Remember this, you can’t stop problems from cropping up in a relationship no matter how perfect the relationship is. What you can do instead, is eliminate the frustration as soon as you notice them.

#1 Lack of communication. At the start of the relationship, conversations are exciting and fun. Both of you spend a lot of time getting to know each other. But as time goes by, lovers forget to ask the same questions again.

We’re all changing all the time, in our preferences and the way we look at life. Don’t assume you know everything about each other or your romance will start to stagnate, or one of you will start to confide in some other person who seems more understanding. [Read: Things to talk about in a perfect relationship]

#2 Trust. Do you really trust your partner? There are two kinds of trust in a relationship. Firstly, do you trust your partner enough to feel comfortable with them going out for dinner with someone else? If you don’t, perhaps, you’re insecure or your relationship is still too fragile.

And secondly, do you trust your partner’s decisions? Do you think your partner is capable of making important decisions for the both of you? If you can’t trust your partner with life altering decisions, it’s obvious that you don’t respect your partner or their opinions. And that’s never a good sign in a long term relationship.

#3 Jealousy and insecurity. Insecure couples are forever locked in a cycle of jealously and anger. When you feel jealous about the attention your lover’s getting or their recent promotion, you’re not helping them become a better individual. It’s like a parent who’s angry with their child because the child is having “too much fun”.

You need to learn to have faith in each other and in the relationship. Instead of letting negativity build inside the relationship, learn to enjoy each other’s successes. After all, your partner is your better half, and any accomplishments of theirs are your accomplishments too, isn’t it? [Read: Tips to handle insecurity in a relationship]

#4 Incompatibility in love. Love at first sight and infatuation can last several months. And it does a good job of masking any differences in a relationship. As perfect as two people may be, sometimes, they may just not be perfect for each other.

If you find yourself dating someone with whom you have nothing in common, you need to decide on the next step. Try to find common interests that both of you like, or walk your own paths instead of living in frustrations. [Read: New relationship advice for perfect romance]

#5 Loss of sex drive. This isn’t rocket science. Over time, both of you are bound to lose the sexual urge of the first few months or years of a relationship. While both of you may have a hard time keeping your hands off each other to begin with, now sex may start to feel like a chore.

This is a very common problem in relationships, and yet, it’s one of the easy ones to solve. Always look for new ways to recreate the sexual high of the first few times, and before you know it, both of you may go at it all over again like frisky bunnies. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas to make sex more exciting]

#6 Ka ching! Anyone in a relationship for long enough will know just how important money or the lack of it really is. If your friends earn a lot more than you or your partner, it’ll end up frustrating both of you. And on the other hand, if both of you earn a lot more than your friends, there’ll be a lot of love and happiness in your lives.

It’s a stupid fact of life. But our own happiness is extremely dependent on the way others perceive us. If you’re having difficulties in your relationship because of money, perhaps it’s time to change your friends and see the difference. [Read: The shocking truth behind why we lose friends]

#7 Change in priorities. You may be in a relationship, but that doesn’t change who you are. And that’s where the problem starts. As individuals, we evolve and change all the time. You’re not the person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are now next year.

And just like you, your partner too is changing constantly. And every now and then, you and your partner may experience changes that will pull both of you apart from each other. And soon enough, both of you may have nothing in common. Spend enough time with each other and try to evolve together in a similar direction. Talk about your beliefs and your interests with each other and it’ll help both of you grow together along the same path. [Read: The 80 20 rule in relationships]

#8 Time. Do both of you have enough time to spend with each other? These days, time is a luxury that most lovers can’t afford. When you start spending too much time away from each other, it’s only a matter of time before one of you starts asking the big question, “Do I need my partner in my life anymore?”

Don’t drift away so far that both of you don’t need to be with each other anymore. Find ways to indulge in exciting hobbies or spend evenings going out on little coffee or ice cream dates. They make for great conversations and it’ll bring both of you closer too.

#9 Space and individual growth. Now this is contradictory to the earlier problem in relationships. But it’s still something to watch out for. Too much of a good thing can turn out to be bad too. When you’re in a relationship, spending time with each other is very important. But at the same time, spending time away from each other is crucial too.

By spending too much time together, you’d subconsciously feel isolated from the rest of the world. And when that happens, you’d crave for any attention from other interesting people just to feel better about yourself and your ability to communicate. And you know what could happen when that happens, right?  [Read: The right way to give space in a relationship]

#10 Are you still in love? This is the biggest problem in a relationship, and one that’s hardest to overcome. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love isn’t. Love is a delicate balance between dependency and passion. How much do you need your partner? How much do you love and want your partner? [Read: Real signs that reveal if you're not in love anymore]

When the sexual excitement and the enthusiasm fade away, what do you have to hold both of you together? A relationship should never be based on sex alone. It needs compatibility and understanding, and it definitely needs dependability. Staying in love forever is not easy, but with a little effort, it can give meaning to your life. [Read: How to stay in love forever]

Problems in a relationship can come and go. But if you ever come face to face with these 10 big problems in romance, don’t overlook it. It could cost you the relationship itself.


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Have your say!
  • Anthony
    February 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    I think the point number 1 which is lack of communication seems to me the biggest relationship problem and I like the resolution you write about it. Honestly if communication issues can be dealt with, every other problem can be easily ironed out. Thanks for the sharing

  • Elizabeth Fernander
    August 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    One minute My mate will hold a nice spiritual loveing conversation, there are times He would demonstrate love & affection any where, especially in the presence of Familly members or strangers but when it comes to voicing my honest opinion or stressing my financial concerns, He would constantly find every fault & blow things out of poportionq, with the least little matter or misunderstanding that can easily be resolved. Especially when it comes to my major finical concerns. I often feel minipulated or like a victim of mental abouse. I think He uses it as an excuse to withdraw from relating or contributing to my needs. Should I find some courage to cut the party off? Pi feel like I can’t no longer contain or accept this type of treatment. What should I do?He tries to make me feel like He doesn’t need Me.

  • Winter C
    October 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    Every number makes a very good point and sadly every number applies to my relationship lets see how this goes…

  • aditi
    December 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    me and my boyfriend are in a relationship since a year and bestfriends since two and a half years.. right now we are in a long distance relationship.. we meet once or twice in a month or two.. we both really love each other alot and we know that too but since a week.. i asked him a question that worsened things up.. im a girl and i have a serious problem of pms.. im 18 and he is 19.. once in every month i get those things in my mind and long for emotional support.. i dont want him to know that it was my brain that made me ask him silly questions.. he is broken and now says that he doesnt believe i love him.. he says i have lost him… i really want to set things right.. i want to make him better and get him back again… i dont wanna lose him at any cost.. now he says me to prove my love for him.. we cant meet.. we are in a long diatance relationship… how do i prove him… but i really want to.. im broken.. i want to fix things up

  • lisa
    March 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    hi, i am lisa 26 years old. i never fell in love or cared about any male on this planet except my bro and dad. who are really dear to me.
    i fell in love with a guy for 3 years. my family knew that i was moving out with a guy. but until last year he never mentioned about our relationship matter to his family.

    his parents dont believe love marriages and don’t support too. well that i never knew until yesterday. the problem is his parents don’t agree for marriage. but he wants to marry me.

    well my parents are open minded and cool ppl. so they never found any issues regarding him and his family.

    but this guy was all saying “yes” until 2 months back. and now he is saying he wants his family. so i tried to break this relation with him. but he is finds excuses and rebuild this relation once again.

    just one month back i met his friend and he told me all regarding his and his family where about’s. i was shocked that he lied to me from the beginning. i completely lost trust over him. i felt bad because i was true to him in every matter but he lied and lied and lied.

    now when i ask him that “what you thought about the relationship?” he says “HE IS CONFUSED.”.
    i am dumb struck now.

    well! but i am ready to leave and move on. because he and his family have tons of problems and he doesn’t want to show to me or my family.

    please some one tell me what’s wrong with this relation??? pls

  • Don Dressel
    March 12, 2014 | Permalink |

    My wife and I have only been married 4 months but have been together over 22 years. Our sex life sucks and she has no interest in sex at all. I have been true blue with her and have never cheated on her. We are in our fifties and I do not want to be old already but in this situation I have tried everything but cannot change her attitude towards sex.

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