When you feel love, you never think about how to say goodbye to someone you love. And now this is the moment, what do you do?
There are so many instances where I didn’t want to break up with a guy or end a friendship because I loved that person. I couldn’t picture my life without them. And I was so used to them in my life, I couldn’t see them not in it. And learning how to say goodbye to someone you love in such instances seem impossible. In reality, it’s necessary.
But, just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they need to be in your life. Maybe they’re abusing you or in an unhealthy frame of mind which ultimately affects you. Recognizing that is one thing, but actually making a move to change it is much harder than it looks.
So, if you struggle with saying goodbye, you’re not alone. We all go through this at one point in our lives and right now, it’s happening to you. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary
#1 Know why you say goodbye. Why are you cutting the relationship? You need to sit down and think about why you’re doing this. This isn’t for them, this is for you. You need to know what you need and don’t need in your life. This way, you won’t make the same mistake twice. So, acknowledge their positive traits but also look at the negative ones. [Read: 16 clear signs its time for you to leave the relationship]
#2 Do it face to face. I know, this is probably the hardest and most uncomfortable thing you’re going to do, but you need to do it face to face. I mean, come on, if you love them, you should say everything to their face.
#3 Explain to them why you’re saying goodbye. If you’re ending a relationship you owe it to them to tell them why. Plus, if they know why right from the beginning, they can self-reflect and also not anxiously text and call you. Explaining it when you end the relationship cuts all the unnecessary drama from the situation.
#4 No cheesy lines. Please do not watch a chick flick before talking to them. Do not use lame lines like, “It’s not you, it’s me.” No, it’s them, in fact, it’s 100% them. I know it’s the easy way, but fuck that. You need to be honest with them about why you cannot continue the relationship.
#5 Go easy on social media. You may still have them on Facebook or Instagram, but it’s better if you didn’t. You need to let go of this person, creeping them on social media isn’t going to help you, it’s only gonna make it worse. I know you want to see what they’re doing and who they’re hanging out with but in reality, you don’t, you really don’t.
#6 This is going to take time. Once you speak to them, you’re going to be upset. Maybe not right away, but let it sink in, after a day or two, you’ll see. You love this person so, you’re going to be grieving the loss of the relationship. But the only thing that helps you get through it is time. It really does take time. [Read: How to deal with your broken heart and crawl out of the pit of despair]
#7 Don’t react to their anger. Listen, some people will take it fine. However, other people respond pissed. Here’s the thing, don’t act back. This isn’t supposed to be a fight, it’s the ending of a relationship. No insults, no yelling or screaming, no hitting, just walk away.
#8 Don’t give them hope. Don’t say lines like, “I will always love you” or “Maybe in the future.” You don’t want to give them hope, you want them to move on.
If you say these type of lines, it’s clear you’re emotionally attached to them. So, that’s something to keep an eye on. Don’t lead them on after you say goodbye. Make it a clean cut.
#9 Write it out. Of course, you still love this person. You maybe didn’t even want to break up with them, but you had to. So, you’re sad, I mean, how can you not be. With that being said, you should write your feelings out. It doesn’t matter how you write it, just get it out of your system. You’ll feel lighter. [Read: 14 powerful ways to conquer unloving someone]
#10 Go out. Don’t hermit at home if you want to know how to say goodbye to someone you love. I did this and it was a big mistake. Yes, take a couple days to be alone but don’t spend weeks and weeks inside, crying in bed. You need to continue to live your life. Go out with friends, meet new people. They’re not the last person you’re going to meet in your life, so go out and live.
#11 Use this as an example for future relationships. You ended this relationship for a reason, right? The reasons were clear. So, remember those reasons. In fact, you should really keep them to the front of your mind, that way, you know what you don’t want in the future relationships you enter, whether romantic or friendly. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#12 You know you’re going to be okay. I know you don’t feel it right now, but deep down, you know you’re going to be okay. Of course, you do, you know why? Because you ended it. You knew the relationship wasn’t good for you, you did this to protect yourself. You did this because you know what you deserve.