When you find love, you never think about how to say goodbye to someone you love. Sadly, it’s inevitable, no matter how much you’re not ready to do so.
When you fall in love and enter a relationship, you never want it to end. In fact, that’s the one thing you’re never prepared for. Even when you expect it, you never know how to say goodbye to someone you love. You give them everything and in a fraction of a moment, they’re almost out the door.
How do you really prepare yourself for such gut-wrenching pain? Whether the relationship lasted for just months or a couple of years, it’s always going to hurt. You never really know how to say goodbye to someone you love, especially if you imagined a future with them.
It’s the kind of pain you wouldn’t wish on someone just because of how insufferable it is. One day you feel on top of the world with them and suddenly, they’re the reason you’re falling apart. Who honestly enjoys saying goodbye to someone they love? No one.
In fact, this is why so many people stay in unhealthy or dead relationships. They’re scared to say goodbye. However, there comes a point where you have to muster the courage to walk away and let go completely.
The more you hold on to the wrong person, the more damage you’ll inflict on yourself and the relationship as a whole. [Read: How to end a relationship on good terms – 20 ways to end it gracefully]
How to say goodbye to someone you love
This serves as the reminder you need to help you remember that you’re stronger than you think. You have a say on who stays and who goes in your life. They don’t necessarily have to cheat on you for you to let go of them. Maybe they’re not respecting your boundaries, or they’re bad for your mental health.
The decision to leave them is a personal choice and nobody else can make that decision for you.
Even if it’s probably the hardest decision you’ll ever make, learning how to say goodbye to someone you love is a necessary one. Don’t worry – you’re not alone in this struggle.
1. Know why you need to say goodbye
Before you go ahead and walk away, you need to know why you’re doing this. Is it something that can no longer be fixed, such as maybe a toxic relationship or a lack of chemistry? Or is it something minor like how they don’t do the dishes or how weird their laugh is?
You need to know what you need and don’t need in your life. This way, you won’t make the same mistake twice. You need to know you’re doing this for all the right reasons.
Most importantly, make sure it’s not a decision you’ll end up regretting. The moment you know the why, it’s easier to know how to say goodbye to someone you love. [Read: 16 clear signs its time for you to leave the relationship]
2. Do it face to face
There’s a reason why most breakups happen over texts and social media – it’s easier. Breaking up in person gives you a lot of anxiety, especially because you might end up not saying everything that needs to be said.
This is probably the hardest and most uncomfortable thing you’re going to do, but you need to do it face to face. A personal breakup is also something your partner deserves as it shows you respect them enough to give a proper breakup.
A face-to-face breakup also lets you have proper closure if that’s what you need to fully let them go. After everything you’ve been through together, the last thing you both need is a shoddy breakup as if the relationship didn’t exist. [Read: How to break up with someone who loves you]
3. Explain to them why you’re saying goodbye
If you’re ending a relationship, you owe it to them to tell them why. You don’t want to be the reason why someone questions their entire self-worth because of unanswered questions. When they learn the truth, even if it’s directly the cause of their actions, they can do something to be better for all their future relationships.
This is also where the significance of closure comes into the picture. If you feel a lack of chemistry or they’re being abusive, don’t hesitate to tell them. [Read: 20 best questions to ask your ex after a breakup to find closure]
4. No cheesy actions
You owe it to the relationship not to do anything romantic before, during, and especially after a break-up. Whether it’s watching a movie together and especially engaging in breakup sex, refrain from doing them at all costs. This also means no popular breakup lines like ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’
You’ve watched several romcoms to know that there’s a much better breakup than leaving them with a line that may or may not be true. Yes, it’s the easy way, but fuck that. You need to be honest with them about why you cannot continue the relationship.
Going through a breakup is the one scenario where going online just isn’t a good idea. Whether it’s trash-talking your ex, tweeting about everything they did wrong, or making them jealous with someone else – just stop. Respect your relationship enough to avoid doing this, no matter how much you want to.
If you want to win the breakup, don’t you realize you already won by leaving them? This also means absolutely no stalking your ex or anyone they could be potentially dating. You need to let go of this person and creeping them on social media isn’t going to help you – it’s only gonna make it worse.
If you want to know how to say goodbye to someone you love, go easy on social media. Deactivate your social media accounts for a while, if you have to, or possibly block them. [Read: 25 things you should always remember if you want to avoid a messy breakup]
6. Realize it’s going to take time
Mastering the art of knowing how to say goodbye to someone you love doesn’t mean you’ll get over them overnight. It’ll take some time before you adjust to a life without them and before the pain of missing them starts to subside. You love this person, so expect to be grieving the loss of the relationship.
You probably expected better, but relationships don’t always work out the way we expect them to. If they did, none of us would ever suffer heartbreaks and loss.
It takes time to heal and for your heart to go back to normal again. You’ll probably always miss them, but eventually, the pain won’t be as overwhelming anymore. [Read: How to deal with your broken heart and crawl out of the pit of despair]
7. Don’t react to their anger
Watch how a person handles a breakup, and it’ll reveal who they really are. With this being said, some people take a breakup maturely and calmly, while others show their aggressiveness and anger. Be ready for the latter and don’t ever match their anger with yours.
If you fight fire with fire, it’s going to be war. This isn’t supposed to be a fight, it’s the ending of a relationship. No insults, no yelling or screaming, no hitting – just walk away.
Show them that your relationship has run its course and there’s no longer anything to fight for. Expect them to be pissed, but don’t fight them on their anger. After all, who likes being dumped in the first place?
8. Don’t give them hope
Don’t say lines like, “I will always love you” or “Maybe in the future.” You don’t want to give them hope, you want them to move on. It’s normal to want to say something along these lines, especially when it’s easier to give hope than pain.
However, false promises never end well for them. They might actually hold on to your word, which will prevent them from moving on and finding someone new.
These lines also give them the idea that you still have feelings for them and they’ll persist in making things work. You don’t want a persistent ex, you want someone to accept the breakup. [Read: How to help your ex move on, get over you for good and find peace]
9. Write it out
Just because you broke up, doesn’t make things easier for you. Sometimes, it’s even harder for the one initiating the breakup as they have to repress their love and chose logic instead. In learning how to say goodbye to someone you love, it’s essential to have an outlet.
In this case, writing can help release your feelings and help you move on from the relationship. It doesn’t matter how you write it or what you write, just get it out of your system. Start by talking about your feelings, and let the words come out.
You’ll feel lighter. You can write a poem, a letter, or even a song if that’s where your creativity is. Writing can make you express everything that needs to be said. [Read: 14 powerful ways to conquer unloving someone]
10. Get yourself out there
Whether or not you’re ready to date again, you shouldn’t be isolating yourself from people. The best way to heal from a breakup is to distract your mind by going out. Feel free to go to that party, have a night with friends, or meet new people.
Don’t dwell in self-pity, no matter how easy it is to. It’s normal to want to cry it all out while eating a pint of ice cream watching A Walk To Remember. After you’re done grieving, get back up and continue living your life.
Learning how to say goodbye to someone you love can’t be found by locking yourself in your room 24/7. It’s found by moving forward one step at a time.
11. Use this as an example for future relationships
You ended this relationship for a reason, right? The reasons were clear. We all have lessons to learn from every relationship that ended.
No matter how badly it hurt, you need to use this relationship to your advantage and learn from the lessons. This way, history won’t repeat itself and you won’t go through the same thing twice. [Read: 15 very important lessons you can learn from your own breakups]
12. Know you’re going to be okay
Heartbreak often feels like your world is ending, but it’s not. In order to know how to say goodbye to someone you love, hold on to every ounce of strength and resolution you have. You might have loved them with everything you’ve got, but it’s not the end – it’s just the beginning.
You don’t feel it right now, but deep down, you know you’re going to be okay. Of course, you do, you know why? It’s because you ended it. You used your head instead of your heart and went with your gut because it was the right step for your future.
You knew you deserved better so that’s what you did – you got better. Even if it’s easier to settle, you refused to stay in the wrong relationship. [Read: How to move on from a breakup without compromising your dignity]
13. Learn to forgive
Whether it’s forgiving yourself or them, you can’t end the relationship with a grudge. You’ll never be able to heal and move on if you refuse to forgive. No matter who’s fault it was and even if you do end up missing them so badly it hurts, realize everything happens for a reason.
Forgiveness will take you to more places than resentment and anger ever will. If you want to know how to say goodbye to someone you love, forgive yourself and them for the relationship not working out the way you both wanted it to.
14. Stop falling for ideals or potential
We’ve all been there before. We’ve all thought someone was capable of change and becoming better so we stayed. We keep staying until we don’t know exactly why we’re staying anymore.
No matter how good the ideal is in your head, it’s not real. If you can’t accept the reality of them because they’re toxic or for whatever reason, it’s time to let go. It’s not your responsibility to change them – it never was. [Read: Should I give up on them? 17 signs things will never ever change for the better]
15. Seek closure
Seeking closure isn’t for everyone but if it’s something you need to let go of them, why not? It’s not just beneficial for you, but for the other person as well.
Closure can help you have all the answers on why your relationship fell apart when you never wanted it to. If you want to learn how to say goodbye to someone you love, closure is the last and final step. [Read: How to find closure with yourself after a relationship]
So, how to say goodbye to someone you love?
It’s not a walk in the park to learn how to say goodbye to someone you love. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do if you want to find the relationship you actually deserve in future.
[Read: What to look for in a relationship? 23 traits of a very happy romance]
Learning how to say goodbye to someone you love feels like you were punched in the gut multiple times. However, it’s also necessary to find the person who makes you remember what love really is. And you’ll never find the right person by hold on to the wrong one.
