There are people we end up liking no matter how bad we know they are for us. Here’s how to not get attached to someone who will only do you harm.
It’s really easy to like someone even though they’re not good for you. Some people are just appealing and we’re drawn to them no matter what. However, it’s never a good idea to get involved with someone who’s downright bad for you. That’s why you’ll need to know how to not get attached to someone.
It’ll save you a lot of heartache and time if you know how to avoid falling for someone. You won’t have to get over them and face the hardships of not seeing them day after day. This way, it’ll be much easier to just move past them and find someone else, someone better.
How to know if someone will never be good for you
Sometimes it can be hard to tell if someone will actually be bad for you. Initially, they may seem like a great match. Knowing how to read the signs they’re actually not good for you can help save you a lot of trouble.
Firstly, you have to gauge how much they’re paying attention to you. If they’re not giving you attention and actually flirting with a lot of people, it’s a sign they won’t be good for you. You also have to think about their personality from an outsider’s perspective.
How to not get attached to someone you know won’t be good for you
It can be really hard to go against everything in your body. It wants to be with that person because you’re ridiculously attracted to them. You need to let your mind take over and think about it rationally. If you decide they’re definitely not good for you, here are a few ways you can learn how to not get attached to someone.
#1 Avoid spending time with them. You can’t be around someone you like if you don’t want to get attached. Spending time together will only strengthen that attachment and that’s the opposite of what you really want.
#2 Don’t text or call them. If you’re friends and you’re trying not to get attached, you have to stop with the texting and calling. Once you realize you have real feelings for them but you know it’ll never work, you need to cut yourself off.
At first, just stop responding every once in a while or keep your responses very short. Then eventually, you can stop responding altogether and it’ll be a more natural detachment.
#3 Unfollow their social media profiles. I know you want to spend hours on end gazing at their adorable profile picture but that’s not helping anyone. What you need to do is unfollow them. Not being reminded of them every time you open your app will definitely help you learn how to not get attached to someone. [Read: How to get over someone you have strong feelings for]
#4 Stop talking about your personal life. When you two do talk, keep it very simple and unrelated to you. In fact, don’t even talk about their personal life. Learning more about them can actually be a bad thing because they’ll feel as though you’ve grown closer.
And that means they’ll start opening up to you more and more. AKA, they’ll talk to you a lot more. So keep things very general and not at all about the two of you.
#5 Keep things hella casual. Everything with that person needs to be casual. The conversations, the hangouts, and any time you interact in general needs to be kept impersonal. Otherwise, a casual night out can seem like a date if you’re not careful. And that will not make it easier to not get attached. [Read: 10 cool rules to keep things simply casual]
#6 Get some help from friends. Your friends are there to support you no matter what. If you open up to them and confess your feelings but also tell them about your desire to not get attached to that person, they’ll help.
They can help steer you away from them when you end up in the same place. They can also stop you from talking about them all the time. In general, they’ll be able to help you forget about that person so you don’t get too attached.
#7 Stay busy. This way, you won’t think about them nearly as often. When your mind is consumed with tasks and hobbies and friends, there’s no room to think about that other person.
#8 Stop talking about them. Your friends can help you with this but you also need to make sure you’re consciously aware of it. Avoid talking about them and you will stop thinking about them as much. Plus, when you talk about someone, you usually feel as though you’re bonding closer with them. Keep that on lockdown and it’ll be easier to not be attached.
#9 Find someone else to occupy your mind. Think of it as a rebound for someone you never actually dated. You need to get your mind off of them. Dating someone else is the best way to do that. When your time and mind is taken up of someone else who’s just as great, it’ll be harder to get attached to the other person. [Read: The top rebound relationship rules you need to follow for success]
#10 Find their flaws. Everyone has flaws and it’s those issues with that person that’s making you wary of them. Start pointing them out and actively looking for them. The more ways you can confirm that they’re bad for you, the easier it’ll be to forget all about them and move on.
#11 Forget about their looks. More often than not, the fact that someone is super good-looking is what really distracts us from the fact that they’re not good for us. We don’t see just how bad they are because they’re so darn hot.
You need to see past that. Imagine if they weren’t really an attractive person at all. Would you still want them? More than likely, no. Start picturing them as less good looking than they are and it’ll be much easier to not get attached. [Read: 50 questions to check if someone’s truly right for you]
#12 Give them the cold shoulder. This is, by far, the hardest thing you’ll have to do. In order to know how to not get attached to someone, you need to learn how to push someone away. Normally, this wouldn’t be condoned but if you just can’t seem to shake them, you need to make them stay away from you.
Which means you need to be a little bitchy and mean. If this isn’t how you are naturally, you’ll need to learn quickly. Basically, you just ignore someone or give them very snarky, snotty responses. This makes them want to avoid you and it’s a lot easier to not get attached to them.
Learning how to not get attached to someone you know will never be good for you is really hard. Everything is telling you to go for them but your mind knows it’s not right. These tips will help save you a lot of heartache.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...