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How to Get Someone Out of Your House: Mr. Oblivious, Leave!

how to get someone out of your house

Whether someone overstayed the evening or a lifetime, to maintain a relationship, you need to figure out how to get someone out of your house.

I am just going to put it out there. I am one of those people that when I have had enough of you, I have had enough. The problem? I am not good at saying things like no, please leave, or being honest when it is time for you to vacate. So, I write this learning how to get someone out of your house, as much for you as for me.

A huge issue in my life, it typically means people stay a day, two, three, or even a month, too long. If you want to know how to get someone out of your house, whether it is they stayed too long for a night, or they won’t move their ass out, there are some subtle ways to tell someone to hit the road.

How to get someone out of your house – 20 ways that work really well

The key for knowing how to get someone out of your house is like leaving the zoo with your kids at the right time. If you don’t see the meltdown coming, you are too far in to get out without a huge shit show.

Most people know when they wear out their welcome. But, if you deal with the socially awkward or just plain socially stunted individual, it takes you taking action to get them to pack their bags.

#1 Ask what they miss at home. Subtly hint they probably miss something or someone at home. If you remind them they left behind something, even if they hide out at your house, they might get the hint that you want them to leave. Maybe get them to realize they miss something in their life. Hey, it is worth a shot. [Read: 15 clear signs it’s time to cut your friend loose]

#2 Blame it on someone else. If you don’t have the balls to ask someone to leave, then blame it on someone else. Say that your girlfriend or boyfriend had enough, you would totally let them stay, but it isn’t up to you.

Make up things like a clause in a lease, or a roommate pissed if you must. Keep your eyes on the prize and realize a lie for a good reason isn’t a bad thing.

#3 Tell them that you have to work super early. If you want to get someone to go home at night time and they don’t take the hint, do a whole lot of yawning and stretching over and again.

For an additional kick out the door, suggest a bar down the street and mention to them that they are going to have to leave super early since you have work. That might incentivize them to take the party elsewhere. [Read: Why some people go looking for drama]

#4 Tell them you have to go away for a day or two. If someone isn’t getting the hint that it is time to hit the road, lie and tell them that you have to go. Tell them that you have an out of town work thing or that you are visiting friends and that you just don’t think it is a good idea for them to hang out when you aren’t there.

If you tell them that you aren’t going to be around to entertain them anymore, then they just might freeload off of someone else.

#5 Be honest. I know, right? It is difficult to tell someone when they overstayed their welcome. But, sometimes honesty truly is the best policy. If they are close to you and you have a good relationship, then it is okay to say when enough is enough and to have faith that your friendship is strong enough for you to tell them the truth without hurting their feelings. Or, just apologize if you feel you have. [Read: How to be assertive – 17 ways to speak your mind]

#6 Tell them it hurts your relationship and sex life. If you are a guy and some other guy refuses to hit the road, then tell them that your action since they arrived is on the decline.

What type of guy friend doesn’t understand that your sex life comes first? If they park on your couch, then there probably isn’t much sexy time going on, naked running around, or naughtiness being had. So, tell them they need to vamoose.

#7 Stop buying food. If you have a moocher on your hands, then it is time to take matters into your own. If you stop feeding the monster, it leaves, literally. If you are tired of coming home to an empty refrigerator, stop replenishing it.

If they give you money for food, use it elsewhere. Eventually, they get hungry enough to move on and find another refrigerator to raid.

#8 Invite someone else to occupy the space who knows when it is time to go. If you have limited space, then tell the person who won’t leave that they have to go and make space for someone else who is coming.

Not only will it be a good change of pace for you, but it also gets them to give up their space and start looking elsewhere to hang out. [Read: 20 early warning signs of toxic people]

#9 Start asking for money. If you are taken advantage of and someone has taken enough, then take a stand. If you can’t get them to go, then tell them they must start contributing.

Chances are good the reason your place is so attractive is that the couch is free. If it isn’t free anymore, then they will probably say “adios.”

If it wasn’t about the money, and they agree to pitch in, then you go back to lying about leasing and occupancy. Hey, if one way doesn’t work, try, try again!

#10 Don’t share. If they drain you, like your food, your shampoo, your video games, your everything, then play it selfish and stop sharing your stuff.

Just like asking them to chip in, if food and other conveniences suddenly aren’t free, then they just might seek out a place that it is. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted]

#11 Stop doing things for them. Of course, they don’t want to leave your house, who would? Stop cleaning up their dishes, doing their laundry, and picking up their socks, ‘cause you can’t stand it.

When they run out of underwear and realize that there’s no freeloading left to be had, they will move onto the next victim. Stop enabling their freeloading ways and they will either grow up or find someone else to parasite off.

#12 Recruit other people for help. Something close to an intervention, if you can’t get someone to leave your house, then call in the recruits. Sometimes people can’t see their own inconvenience until someone puts it right out in their face.

If you want someone to leave your house who isn’t getting it, call in other people to back you up. There is always safety in numbers! [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]

#13 Slip away to bed. If it is just a one-night annoyance, then there is nothing wrong with stretching and yawning. If those subtle hints get passed over, it is totally appropriate for them to find their own way out. If you go to bed, they just might get the message and show themselves to the door.

#14 Pretend they aren’t there. Ever play that game where someone talks, and you say stuff like “did you hear that?” to someone else. Only don’t be that infantile. If the person won’t leave, stop paying them any attention. They just might search for it elsewhere.

You don’t have to be totally rude, or do, the point is to make it not entertaining to be entertained at your house, so they leave.

#15 Be super annoying. If ignoring doesn’t work, then do the opposite. Turnabout is fair play. If they annoy the hell out of you, then do it right back at them.

Don’t let them sleep when they want, hog the PlayStation, and take the last of whatever there is. Just be in their face enough that they get sick of seeing your face and move along. [Read: How to gain confidence and turn your life around for the better]

#16 Run the tub continually to use up the hot water. It might up your electric or gas bill, but the payoff for freedom is totally worth it. No one likes a cold shower, so make it so uncomfortable they go looking for warmth somewhere else.

#17 Make super bad food and insist you eat in. Ever had someone force their super bad food on you? Well, now it is your turn. Make continual batches of yuck and make sure that they can’t say no. That ensures that they say “goodbye” pretty quick.

#18 Take away their parking space. I am just going to put it out there, there is nothing worse than coming home and not finding a parking space. If you want someone to vacate your house, then make sure they have nowhere to park themselves, both their bodies and their vehicles.

#19 Get them a girl/boyfriend. If someone doesn’t get all the other hints you send, then make somewhere else look attractive. If you know someone in your life who is just as lost and needy as the one who takes up space in your house, why not set them up? A win-win situation, no one will be lonely, and you get rid of them. [Read: 10 crucial steps to set boundaries and feel more control]

#20 Find their kryptonite. If the girl down the hall irritates the hell out of your guest, make besties with her. If having someone around is enough of an irritant to your irritant, then they will probably find somewhere else to be. Just be very careful, you don’t want to get rid of one gnat to find another one flying around.

There is nothing worse than the awkwardness of someone staying past their welcome. It isn’t fair when someone forces you to feel bad by asking them to leave. If they just aren’t getting the hint that time is up, then you either have to lie, cheat, or be honest. It is up to you which one rids them from your home.

[Read: 12 ways to ghost someone and get away clean]

Whether it is a friend or family member, the key is to kick them out before you never want them to return and not to offend them beyond the point where you can be friends. Try these 20 subtle ways for how to get someone of out your house and reclaim peace.

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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