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How to Get Over Hate When It’s Just Not Worth It

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Knowing how to get over hate is definitely difficult. But letting it spiral out of control can make life a lot more painful to handle. Learn how to get over hating someone with these tips and you’ll see how perfect life can be.

Click here to read the introduction on how to deal with hate and have a better life instantly.

how to get over hate

Hate is a very strong emotion. And it’s also the easy way out.

Sure you can just say that you hate that guy who rejected you, dumped you, or  hurt you, and feel all satisfied and strong.

But the bad news is, it’s a feeling that won’t last too long, and it is not exactly going to make the object of your hate die of despair.

It most certainly won’t help you get over the hate you have for this person.

But yes, it will slowly take its toll on you.

How to get over hate

According to psychologists, hate, like any other negative feeling, can take a serious toll on your mind.

It can cause stress and related problems, like lack of sleep and irritability. It can affect your immune system and even make you anti-social. No kidding.

[Read: 14 simple anger management techniques]

And of course, it doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to tell you that excessive hate can cause severe mental distress.

But of course, all these reasons won’t hold well in the heat of the moment. You will be faced with people whom you can’t help but hate. Well, you’re not expected to love everyone you meet anyway. And it’s perfectly alright to hate a few people too. But it is the excessive, uncontrollable hate that creates problems in your life.

So what do you do once you see red? How do you get over hating someone? To begin with, accept what you are feeling. Acknowledge the fact that you do hate someone. Next, find out the real reason for what you are feeling. [Read: How to overcome regret?]

How to get over hating someone

Is it that one really irritable habit of that person that you hate or is it the person as a whole? If it is just that one habit, can you work around it? If you hate the person’s very existence, why is that? Is it because that particular person treated you badly? Or is it because he or she reminds you of someone who had treated you badly?

And most importantly, is it worth such a strong reaction of hate from your side? The more you analyze your feeling, the more you’d realize that it is not worth it. Try spending some time thinking about how to manage hate towards people in your life that you can’t stand. And ask yourself a question.  Is hating someone really worth it?

Is it worth all the attention and thought you’re giving them, when they probably don’t even realize all the plotting and whining you’re doing behind their back?

How to get over hate – The real problem

Understand that the hate is your problem, so you have to work it out. Confront the feeling, and then get over it. Don’t hold on to it. Remember that by hating someone, you are still letting them control your feelings, making them get one up on you. There’s no point getting mad, get even by refusing them the satisfaction of affecting you so much. If you’re still mad, throw something like a harmless pillow at a harmless wall for instance. Well, then move on! [Read: Why do men hate talking on the phone?]

Getting over hate – The bottom line

Bottom line? Hating someone has no real therapeutic value. It’s like getting drunk. It helps you push away reality for a few glorious hours while you plot and fantasize about how you can get your revenge. But then, there is the lousy morning after and a terrible headache to wake up to because, quite frankly, your life hasn’t changed one bit. If you really do want to wake up to a better day, it’s up to you to decide your limits of hate and frustration. How much of it is worth it, and how much of it isn’t. So don’t stop hating someone, but learn to draw the line and never let your hate for someone grow into an obsession.

[Read: Annoying girlfriend habits that guys hate]

[Read: Annoying boyfriend habits that girls hate]

By learning how to get over hate and by creating ways to get over hatred, you are actually creating a better life that revolves around you, instead of someone who doesn’t even care about your existence. Knowing how to get over hating someone can actually be the best way to ever get even in the first place.


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  • jenn
    August 29, 2012 | Permalink |

    well this didn’t help much. you hardly tell how to stop hating someone. you write more about what hating someone is. i already know that!!!! what i don’t know is how to stop! and you obviously don’t either. thanks for wasting my time whom ever wrote this

  • WyFo
    November 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    Is it worth hating the guy who tried to steal my girlfriend and almost turned her on me? Hell Yeah! So what do I do? It’s not worth it? Yeah it is! I wanna pop a cap in his ass but that’s only ginna make my girlfriend hate me for killing someone.

  • mohit
    January 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    @WyFo …. if you hate that guy so much, why do you want to get rid of it and read on how to get rid of hate? winning your gf back is easy if you try being friendly with the guy and hang around them trying to remind her of the moments u had with her every time, so she slowly will come back to you because she can see you being more mature!!!…….though i agree with@jenn..this doesn’t help a lot but it made me aware of what the problem is ..so i can work towards it

  • Olivia
    August 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thanks for this. I need to find a way to stop hating sil for treating us like we’re lower than her ; kicking us out of the living room, throwing our clothes out of the laundry, we moved out because of her, she’s still trying to find ways to contact and see us and keep saying she doesn’t like me. I don’t need to waste energy hating her, she’s just a nobody who will not be in our lives anymore, leaving the trash aside from now on.

  • T Miller
    August 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    I agree with the other comment that this article is not much help to stop hating someone and what does that mean to say, “…when it’s just not worth it”? I guess it’s never worth it because it always hurts the hater more. For instance, I know my ex does not even care one little bit about the hell he put me through. I’m the one who is tormented by it. I’m the one with scars that will never heal. The one who’s life will never be the same because of his abuse. The one who has to watch as her daughter falls for the evil lies. As for throwing something, I remember one way I used to get over my hatred for my abuser was to take a baseball bat to his place on my bed and just swing away. I guess that’s sort of like what you suggest here when you say throw something. I thought getting away from him was the answer and while it has helped I now realize how horrible it is to have to deal with this man over the care of our child. Be careful who you have children with because you will have to have constant contact with him for a minimum of 18 years. I really didn’t expect that he could still hurt me but he’s found a way to use my child to get to me now. Another thing you forgot to mention is prayer. My conversations with God have helped me tremendously in dealing with this and that is what I’ll have to keep doing if I want to get through this darkness.

  • Eve
    August 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    It makes me feel as though that person has won if I stop hating them, and i’m a very compatible person, so nothing seems to be helping at the moment, any advice?

  • Carl
    September 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    I hate my brothers. I truly hate them. They have destroyed me with their negativity and verbal abuse all my life. They changed me as a person. They could never give me back the self esteem they stole from me. I want them out of my life forever. I can’t seem to escape them. No matter what I try to do the universe just sets me up to be back with them. I hate them and always will. One has AIDS and I can’t wait til he dies. My luck is that he won’t die. I almost got lucky when he almost died of AIDs. But, no he ends up surviving and is doing well. They have destroyed who I was. Infected me with their verbal abuse and destroyed me. I mean it started when I was 5 and now I am 45. All my life I have dealt with this. My mother didn’t protect me from them. She allowed the abuse. My parents turned a blind eye to it. Now I live on disability and can’t afford to move out away from them. I now believe there is no God. How can there be a God that allows such abuse to a human being. It has made me a hateful person. I don’t trust people. I was also sexually abused at six years old. I don’t even hate my sexual abuser as much as I hate my two brothers. I wish they would just die so I never have to deal with them again.

  • jamie
    November 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    if you truly love some one never give up keep trying because sooner or later they will fall in love with you they will realize that you care and love them.

  • Brenda
    February 28, 2014 | Permalink |

    Jamie that is NOT true in the least, only in some situations, You can love, hang on to and hope your @ss off forever to get some returned love and only waste years of your life while that person is out looking for a mate elsewhere.. Not true do not mislead anyone like that, if you feel your wasting your time you probably are wasting your time.

    Hate is sometimes needed and fleeting, without first hating how I was wronged then I cannot move on, NOT the other way around, It is NOT your enemy, sometimes it is the force that wakes you UP to take action, and is only a fleeting thing to DO something.

    But sure hanging on is rather self destructive, I mean you gotta be happy sooner or later again and that will not come wallowing in negative anything too long.

  • Sue Carpenter
    March 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    I understand Carl completely. I HATE my biological siblings too. They never treated me like a sibling even as a small child. Always nasty, and belittling. I will mostly forget about them soon. I am working on it. EVIL, EVIL people!!! Becky, Paul and Tony! You are disgusting human beings!!!

  • Cali
    April 27, 2014 | Permalink |

    The name of this site sucks. Somebody who is hating doesn’t want to hear love panky. I agree that hating is harmful to the hater, but that doesn’t help. This is a deep rooted hate. When someone has taken your child from you for no just reason,you may be consumed with hate and depression. This is not something you can walk away from. Without going to prison, I can only pray that God will bring me justice. Unfortunately I may not see it in this lifetime. It’s like being trapped and tormented.

  • G. Leh
    September 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    My sister and brother showed their true colors after my dad died. I am executer to the will. I have busted my ass to get things done the right,honest way. They accused me of stealing and being dishonest. My family,my spouses family,their friends,and friends of friends are hearing all kinds of lies and untruths about me. I feel I truly hate them both!! Infact,I know I hate them,because the love is gone. Both of them always took advantge of my dad and belittled me all my life. My sister even helped my x husband cheat on me with her friends. She stole from me and always talked behind my back. I shouldhave known. Both have been alcoholics since teenagers. Boo hoo…you have this and you have that. More than me… They woul always whine. I could just say wat do you expect,thy have always been mean,self-centered drunks? But,I feel I really do hate them! The way I am getting over it,is to totally forget they were eer related to me. Ignore people like that. Thats the best I can do to forget about what they’ve put me through and by gosh,I think it’ll work for me to be done with negative people like them in my life. Just go on and be happy.

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