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How to Deal with Hate and Stop Hating Someone

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Do you want to know how to deal with hate? Feelings of hate and anger can make your life a lot more difficult to handle, unless you understand how to stop hating someone and learn to deal with the people you hate.

how to deal with hate

Figuring out how to deal with hate and how to stop hating someone can be simple if you understand the real reasons behind it, and use these simple tips.

How to deal with hate

Hate: verb (-ting) dislike intensely. That is all the mention the term gets in the Oxford English Dictionary.

But of course, the connotations, the real implications of the term can hardly be wrapped in two words, nor does that even reveal a shroud of knowledge on how to deal with hate.

In today’s scenario, more things seem to be wrought by hate than any other emotion.

Hate, it seems, is a greater motivation behind strong action than love.

How to stop hating someone?

They say hate cannot exist without love.

And more often than not, hate is strongest when it comes in the place where love once was.

Knowing how to deal with hate is as simple as understanding this fact.

It is exceedingly easy to hate someone, say, your ex’s new girlfriend [Read: Why you can’t find love], or your best friend’s boyfriend who is taking her away from you!

But it is not always love lost that leads to hate. Years of piled up frustration and neglect too can make you start hating someone. So is jealousy.

There are many who end up without knowing how to deal with hate in their hearts, for their siblings, for their former friends, spouses, or colleagues, because they were consumed by jealousy. Or because they feel what was rightfully theirs went to the other person. [Read: An ex’s hate story]

But, hate need not always be because of someone else. It is as much an indicator of your own personality, say psychologists.

If you are among those who are generally unhappy and dissatisfied with life, it’s more likely that you will have a hard time dealing with hate and anger. [Read: Do you feel lost in life?]

Understanding how to deal with hate

If you’ve always thought that you got a raw deal, then in all probability, you will also hate the people who you think got it easy. It could be a result of what you went through in your life. Your past experiences shape what you are today. And all this will only make it more difficult for you to deal with people you hate.

There are people who generalize their feelings, for or because of, one  person in an entire group. If you had an abusive father, you may subconsciously hate all older men. Or the reason you hate your boss so much could be because he reminds you of that obnoxious teacher who used to always pick on you, and lose no chance to humiliate you in  class, for no fault of yours.

[Confessions: Things I hate about my woman]

[Confessions: Things I hate about my man]

How to deal with hate – Understanding the real reasons

The reasons for hating someone could be various. But that does not in any way change the fact that you have to deal with the people you hate nevertheless. And it is going to harm no one as much as it harms you.

The most powerful argument against hatred is that it is pointless. So you hate that bitch in your best friend’s life. It is not going to make your best friend dump her. It is definitely not going to cause her any sleepless nights.

All it will do is make things uncomfortable between your friend and you. And make you mad. That you hate someone or don’t know how to deal with hate is your  problem, not theirs! [Read: Anger management in relationships]

Sometimes, hate can also make you lose a lot. You hate half of your team at work. So you decide not to go to that team get-together and it so happens that, that annoying know-it-all in the next cubicle manages to become best pals with your boss over a few drinks, and sneaks away that coveted promotion right underneath your nose. Who’s loss?

Hatred for one person can also make you have to exclude, or avoid the people you love. Because you can’t stand being around one person, you may have to stay away from those you love, because they don’t feel the same way as you do.

How hate can change your life

You could be so busy hating people, that you fail to see love and concern coming from another direction. You may be too involved in managing all that anger and hate at your ex-boyfriend who dumped you for another girl, that you cannot see your friend, standing next to you all the while, waiting for you to get over the hurt and anger. You must understand that patience can run out eventually.

Even the most loyal friends can give up and walk away, if they see that no matter how much they care for you and love you, you never notice.Learn to deal with people you hate. It can change the way you feel about yourself and the world. [Read: How to be happy in life]

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Understanding how to stop hating someone is simple if you can understand that you’re causing more pain to yourself than the person you hate. Find out how to deal with hate with these simple tips on how to get over hate.

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  • sadhna
    March 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    Why do mother in laws always have to be in your way no matter how hard you try? This feature helps a lot.

  • Cali
    February 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    I hate my mother in law beacusenshe does not respect boundrties. I understand that because I have had a life that I perceive as being hard and unfair may make me resent her as she seems to be a spoiled selfish nag. All in all I still can’t stand her.

  • February 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    Well this is something i’ve read millions of times but the feeling keeps arising whenever they be little me. I pray then there is temporary relief but as soon as something doesn’t happen their way and I don’t agree with them the feeling arises again because an argument starts up. Would anyone recommed hypnotism to stopo these feelings?

  • March 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic however I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing a blog article or vice-versa? My blog goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Great blog by the way!

  • y3
    March 10, 2013 | Permalink |

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  • seasick
    July 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    I hate this guy who irrated me. He makes me fume with anger. The first time I encounter him he gave off such negativie vibes. I passed it of thinking it was just one of those days but over the course of time he’s been pushing my buttons, being aggressive with a terrible rude attitude. I dread having to come across him and even if I try to avoid it will cause some sort of scene. I don’t have the energy anymore I have enough things to worry about, I have become more depressed and anxious since the day we met. Its breaking any bit of confidence and self esteem i have left. I tried the whole nice approach but if i have an outburst he is sure going to have a field day and use it against me. Already he turning people against me for no reason. I hate him coz he a bully, not anything else.

  • Miss Mia
    September 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    So the hate that I can’t get rid of is the hate I have for my brother. He tried and almost succeeded at taking his own life. I did everything to try and help him. My husband and I moved across the country and did everything we could to get him on the right path. But I couldn’t live with him. He was a vacuum of negativity one that was sucking the life right out of me. So my husband took him back west to go to work with him. Yet I sit here and I have nothing but contempt towards him. I did everything for him and he hates me because I saved his life. I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. I do not feel that he has any reason to hate me but he does. Funny thing is I have a great job great friends and I really need to shake this. I’ve never been this person. I believe in helping everyone and paying it forward. Anyways any thoughts would be great. Thank you for listing to my rant!!!

  • Halfadozen
    November 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    How do I stop hating my siblings? It started when I was in my twenties and now in my late forties. Always expect me to be there for things but never tell me about then until the week of. Example, last two years no familyT-day meal or get together and wasn’t told till the week of, this year expected to come with3 day notice with homemade cheesecake. So frustrating!! I stated at home and had a cold cut sandwich and chips watching TV.

  • Pinky Poo
    December 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t know what to do. I am 21 years old and absolutely and completely hate my brother. I don’t have a job and am in college living with him and my sister at my parent’s house. I can’t stand him and even hate to hear the sound of his voice. I also have to share a room with him. I wish I could just move out so I would never have to see his face again.

  • j Annie d
    January 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    I took care of one today as a matter of fact. I posted comments on HER blog (vomit) . I killed her with kindness then no push so I pulled and insulted her intelligience by stating true facts that i know by experience. I really don’t cater to strangers barking at me by being huge bitches on the internet. Alot of hatred in this world. Alot!

  • j Annie d
    January 5, 2014 | Permalink |

    for the record i don’t have hate for no one just the word gets used and it creates anger. oh well. let bygones be…….. bygones.

  • Syn
    January 13, 2014 | Permalink |

    I hate my step daughter(42 y/o) She has narcissistic personality disorder. After years of enduring her manipulation(she uses her kids=emotional blackmail)we(her dad & I) finally decided no more & she naturally punished us in horrific ways, the worst being with-holding the kids from us. It’s a long story of sordid details, which I won’t get into. I want this hate to go away. It consumes me. I feel terribly betrayed & disrespected. I was used & the worst part is I allowed myself to be used because of my love for her father & her kids. So it could very well be that I really hate myself for doing/helping her with so much & having it all be for naught & her basically crapping on me, like it was all for nothing in the end. This hurts me beyond anything I’ve ever come across. I’ve managed to forgive every other transgression in my life, because it’s human nature, I can understand that, but I can’t get around her abuse. I figure it’s also because I did love her & I really tried to help her to the point she did become spoiled by us. I was also very kind, generous & there for her, always honest. Over time I saw the monster lurking beneath her attractiveness & charm. One day I brutally told her the truth about everything & this ended our relationship. Even before this occurred, I looked into personality disorders because of her whacky behaviours, starting with bi-polar, that’s how bad she is/was. Thank you for reading/listening, I just want to stop having any feeling toward her, like I’d love to feel indifference. Hate makes me angry & sad & I cry, feelings of injustice & unfairness. Much like the saying: “No good deed goes unpunished” = my life.

  • J
    April 4, 2014 | Permalink |

    My mother doesn’t respect boundaries at all. She tramples all over my life. I am beginning to withdraw from everyone in the family cause I just can’t stand to be around her or publically face the shame from having to be under her thumb and poor and broke and her little whipping girl all my f’ing life. She acts all nicey nice but it’s just a front. I hate her but sometimes I depend on her which only makes me hate her more. I know it’s wrong to disrespect your elders or not obey your parents but she’s controlling and manipulative and just plain mean.

  • Kristenperkins28@hotmail.com
    May 17, 2014 | Permalink |

    I here ya all believe me trying comeing from a family different fathers. An a mom an half sister an her kids tell me to die ever day . I’m 29 got no friends no job feel so bad. Just wish one person would talk to me but I no I’m not tht lucky . It hurts I just sit alone every day I got disibilites so it’s hard whn no one wants u for u an can’t except nothing all my family cares about is money looks an juge others an never leave to do dam thing for there selif . I no whn one day whn I’m gone I’ll be in peace away from ignorance an shitty ass people who go no respect for now I just stay far away in my room were no one will hurt me or make me feel bad . Hope to move soon get away from all this . God bless all be nice no one deserves to bf treated like shit .

  • wzrdMnk
    July 12, 2014 | Permalink |

    hate is a good feeling, don’t regret it. if you hate someone from the very deep of your heart then you at least have a clear point of view with that person, i mean you don’t spend hours to make the person like you or endless argue with someone. and if you can learn to hate someone, learn to accept this true and honest feeling, then you can also love someone with at least the same power

  • dont use music to get into a girls pants, use it to get into their minds
    July 12, 2014 | Permalink |

    @ Syn : well, this may sound hard, but one can indeed learn to let go, even if it’s within your own family….

    what is the thing someone with narcistic disorders wants the most?
    i tell you, he wanna be focused by everyone else, and if someone just ignore this person, he will try even harder to be in the center of focus. it will crush their minds. maybe you should learn to accept the fact she will never accept you. let go and get on with your life, i don’t know you but YOU should be the very most important person in your life.

  • Katy
    November 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    I hate my boyfriend’s mom so much that it literally hurts me physically.

  • Tiffany
    December 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    I hate this girl in my school because in gym, the teachers paired her and my crush together for the dance unit. But she is really nice and I feel really jealous of her. I talked to her and she said “Don’t worry I don’t like him, I get what your feeling” but for some reason I just don’t like her but I want to not hate her.

  • Amanda
    January 8, 2015 | Permalink |

    “If you’ve always thought that you got a raw deal, then in all probability, you will also hate the people who you think got it easy.” I started to cry when I read this. I need to explain myself more, because I am used to just smiling and trying to look pretty. I have had stalkers, been used for my creativity and felt like my soul was torn out, and I have physical pain. I am a very strong person but this hate is hurting my chest. It is good to know I am not the only one, but I wish it was just “being mad at some bitch”.

  • Madelyn
    January 16, 2015 | Permalink |

    I hate someone so much because they get everything I had and they copy me and continue stealing what I love from me. This makes me hate the people who help her! Thought this website might help, does anyone else know how to?

  • Robert
    February 8, 2015 | Permalink |

    “Hate” is a verb (i.e., to hate) for God’s sake. The noun is “hatred.” Why are so many people so dismally ignorant in this way?

  • sentei
    February 24, 2015 | Permalink |

    when i hate someone i also hurt myself..i try not to hate and i show lots of patience …even though i used to cry secretly…but then when i couldn’t stand anyone i hate them so much and nothing can take back…

  • begginer to hate
    March 4, 2015 | Permalink |

    I have never experienced hatred in my life before… but when my husband started making emotional affiliation with other girl though she is his friend but his that act generated feeling of jealousy inside my spirit… he used to consider me his best friend and so i considers him… hut later he got so much affiliated with that girl that he never misses a day calling her or texting her… we fight with each other almost every month on same topìc… i have become so weak internally and ultimately i started hating her… he also knows that despite of that he keep saying what if i value her more… it doesn’t mean i am valuing her more than u and my kid… plz help what to do? I want to free myself from this hatred..

  • Tom Climer
    March 19, 2015 | Permalink |

    I hate a lot of peoples guts.And for good reasons. They have all stabbed me in the back, and mocked me. Some of them have ruined my life. I only hope the worst for them, in their life’s. If I had a baseball bat, I would take it up side their heads. Scott Moses I really hate this as@hole the most, and he is in prison know for what he did. Then Terry Leslie, what a poor accuse for a human. And what a back stabbing punk. Karma will get you you little prick. Theresa Randolph, your nothing but selfless bit##. You really made my life miserable, and brought me so much pain! Your fat ugly sister Lisa, makes me sick to my stomach. Billy Kibby, your are fuc&&ing AS#hole too, thanks for screwing my back up. Then Robert Hayes, you still owe me $500, your fu88ing punk. Juanita Mikan your nothing but a money hunger whore. I hope you chock on the next emerald you sell. I cannot stop hating this slim balls, but writing about them, kind of makes me feel better. I wish them all a life filled with pain, and misery, like they put me through. Scott Wilkinson, your a true prick too! There are more people in my life that I loath, but I don’t have time to write about all of them.

  • Mary
    March 27, 2015 | Permalink |

    I’m really hating a cousin of mine, just being with her in the same room I just wish she could just disappear. I’ve always had this anger and hate towards her now I’m even worse. Help me guys!!! Otherwise I can’t deal with this hate.

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