It’s a great thing to be able to feel really strongly for someone but sometimes that emotional attachment can be unhealthy and even unnatural.
You should feel as strongly as you can for someone. We all need to have a bit more emotion, especially in today’s world. However, having too strong of an emotional attachment to someone can be the complete opposite of a good thing.
People who latch on to others so strongly don’t often know they have an unnatural issue. They assume that they just have a lot of feelings. But when those feelings get in the way of your day-to-day life, it can be really unhealthy for all people involved.
Building emotional intimacy is really important when finding love
There are some people who actually can’t build emotional intimacy. It’s really hard for them to open up and get vulnerable. This hinders them from connecting with people and forming relationships in general. So for those people, it might seem crazy that others can actually become so emotionally invested in others that it’s unhealthy.
That emotional attachment can be a great thing if it remains balanced. You need that intimacy to get to know someone on a deep level and build a strong connection. Not knowing how to do this can be just as harmful as feeling too much for someone. [Read: 20 signs you’re really love sick and easy ways to get out of it]
How to know when your emotional attachment is unhealthy
For all of you love-struck folk out there, you might be wondering where you can draw the line between healthy attachment and unnatural obsession. Because that’s what being overly emotionally attached to someone is, an obsession.
If you feel like you or someone you care about is feeling a little too strongly for someone, this is how you can determine if it’s unhealthy or not.
#1 You can’t be without them or you get panicked. This is obsessive behavior and for obvious reasons, it’s not healthy. You shouldn’t have to go into panic mode when you’re not with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You should be able to go about your life normally and without worry. If you feel anxious, nervous, or panicked whenever you’re not together, it’s a sign your emotional attachment to them could be very unhealthy. [Read: How to stop obsessing over someone you really like]
#2 You fell in “love” within a couple weeks. There are some people who can truthfully fall in love this quickly but that’s the norm. If you seem to be falling in love very fast with a lot of people after only two weeks, that’s a problem.
It’s a level of emotional attachment that’s not healthy for either of you. Not only that, but when you think you love so many people, it’s stopping you from actually knowing what love is like.
#3 You freak out when you don’t get an immediate text back. Despite knowing that your significant other is probably just busy. While they’re at work or going about their day and you don’t get a text back and it results in anxiety and apprehensive feelings, you’re too emotionally attached. This isn’t healthy or normal. [Read: 11 realistic reasons they’re not responding to your texts]
#4 You automatically think they don’t like you if they’re not all over you. Just because your partner doesn’t want to be completely on top of you when you’re together doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Your thoughts immediately going to that are very unhealthy and even harmful.
You should know that someone can still like and love you even if they’re not actively showing this 100% of the time.
#5 You’re jealous all the time. A really big sign of unnatural emotional attachment is excessive jealousy. You can be jealous occasionally but if it’s all the time, you have an issue.
#6 You cry over them super easily. This can be over anything. Whether they do something nice and you get emotional or if they don’t text you back within the hour and you break down crying, it’s not healthy. This unnatural response to simple, everyday occurrences signifies you’re way too emotionally attached.
#7 You’re planning way too far into the future way too soon. If you’re hearing wedding bells only after a few dates, there’s a big problem. Obviously, it’s great to be excited to have a future with someone. However, the problems arise when you’re literally planning a wedding and children’s names for a future with someone you hardly know.
#8 Your friends tell you you’re too attached. Your friends can see things a lot more clearly than you can. Which means if they see an issue, it’s probably real. You probably hear them tell you to slow down with your relationships all the time.
If that’s the case, you definitely have an issue with emotional attachment. Take a step back and hear your friends out. They’re only trying to help you.
#9 You’re always the first to initiate anything. This can be with texting, dates, sex, and everything you do. If you’re always the first person to put forth the effort, it could signify you have emotional attachment issues.
However, keep in mind that this is also proof that you’re dating a jerk. The best way to tell the difference is if you suggest stuff like this every single day. That’s not normal and you need to be able to spend time apart.
#10 You only talk about them. You could have a hundred different things going on in your life but if you only ever talk about them, it’s a problem. This is a form of obsessive behavior and it’s not healthy at all. If your friends have to tell you to shut up about that person, it’s an issue. [Read: 15 subtle signs you’re addicted to being in love]
#11 You ditch your friends and hobbies for them. Aka, your entire life gets put on hold because they’re suddenly the most important thing. A lot of people do this when they start dating someone new and it’s never a good thing.
You can’t forget your entire life just because you have feelings for someone. If you do, it’s a sign that your emotional attachment has clouded you from feeling passionate about the other things in your life.
#12 You overthink everything they do. If you really have to sit and debate if you should go see a friend or not because you want to spend time with the partner you see every single day, it’s a problem.
Your life is yours. You shouldn’t have to sit and think about what outfit your significant other will like best every single time you get dressed. That’s a big sign of unhealthy emotional attachment.
Being able to connect with someone emotionally is never a bad thing. As a human, it’s in your nature. However, there’s a limit to when that emotional attachment is healthy and when it’s harmful and unhealthy.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...