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Dumb Things We Do In The Name Of That 4-Letter Word: Love

dumb things in love

Love is a beautiful emotion to experience, but sometimes love can mean “Loss Of Vital Energy,” because of the dumb things we do in the name of love!

Yes, I know—the moment you see your love, birds begin singing, and all in the world seems right. I’d know: I’ve been there not once, but several times. Usually, losing your mind looks something like this: you act normal around everyone else. You know what to say, and how to behave. The moment you catch a glimpse of your crush, however… that’s it. Your batteries lose their charge, and you quickly morph into a slack-jawed shell of your formerly clever, with-it self.

We all want to fall in love, right? After all, it’s supposed to be the most beautiful experience life has to offer. You feel at one, complete, with your significant other, and experience the ecstasy of loving euphoria—all without risking your health or well-being.

Ego and love

Love is definitely a wonderful thing. We all desperately want to love and be loved. In the name of love, however, we do some pretty strange and even reckless things. Why? Because we begin to believe that the person we’re in love with holds a mystical, magical power to “fix” everything in our lives.

We do whatever we can, then, to make sure we keep that person around—even if it means throwing our sanity away in the process. From tattooed forearms to kidney donations, countless lovers have thrown caution to the wind and made some questionable decisions. [Read: 7 secret signs that reveal a bad relationship]

So where does ego come in? It tells you that you need outside sources to be happy—there’s nothing about you that might need altering, after all. Instead of being open and vulnerable, your ego tells you that you can earn the love and respect of your partner, leading to all manner of poor decisions.

9 dumb things we do in the name of love

Have you been doing any dumb and crazy things in the name of love? Well, if you’re in love or are infatuated by someone, chances are, you’ve probably done more than a few of these things already!

#1 Lay expensive gifts at our lovers’ feet. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen or done that! Not everyone can afford purchasing extreme, lavish gifts… but boy, do we often try. If you’re filthy rich, spending a truckload of cash on your significant other might be par for the course. If not, wooing your partner in that way can get you into some serious trouble. Although most people do appreciate expensive gifts, I can guarantee that’s not the only way to win fair lady’s *or fair fella’s* heart. Spending money you don’t have, all in the name of love, is just plain crazy.

#2 Alter our every like and dislike to match our partners’. This is another dumb thing we do in the name of love. To prove our love to our partner, we start adopting things they like, even when we don’t like them! We listen, read, do, wear, think, love, hate, drink, and eat exactly what they like, just to please them.

In short, we completely change ourselves for love. What happens here is that we love and miss our old identity and eventually start blaming them for changing us. So here’s a warning—avoid this mishap at all costs! [Try: 18 bad habits that’ll make your partner want to leave you]

#3 Indulge possessive feelings over our partners’ social media sites. This, you probably already know… and secretly may already be doing! I don’t blame you. With love comes the unimaginable urge to be possessive, which makes you want to scan each and every post, comment, status, and picture of your partner. You might go through their friends list, not sparing a single person! What does this prove? It proves that you don’t trust each other—and trust is the most important ingredient in a successful relationship.

#4 Check on our partners every five minutes. Okay, I’m happy when you tell me that you love me every once in a while, but when that “once in a while” turns into every five minutes… we have a problem. We all struggle with knowing when enough is enough, particularly when it comes to texts and calls. This is crazy! We need to give one another a chance to breathe.

#5 Tattoo our partner’s name. We’ve all seen that, right? What happens after a breakup?! Some people think they’re so in love with their partners that nothing could ever tear them apart. While that might be the case, branding yourself with your partner’s name is never a good idea. While this might seem romantic in the moment, it’s far less romantic five years down the road, sitting in a laser-removal office, closing your eyes against the pain. [Want to do something romantic, but not quite so permanent? Check out: How to be romantic without being cheesy]

#6 We start living their lives. You have a friend’s party to attend, but your partner just called and wants you to go to dinner with their parents. You drop the party and go to dinner. Another time, you plan to chill out on a lazy Sunday afternoon with your best friend, but your partner wants to go fishing. What do you do? You drop your plans and go fishing, of course! This is not only crazy, but disrespectful toward your friends and family members. Your world does not begin and end with your significant other.

#7 Let’s move in together because we’re committed! These days, as soon as the status changes from “single” to “in a relationship,” the next step is to move in together. Remember: moving in together is fine, but only when both of you are ready. Don’t rush into things, because eventually you’ll start stepping on each other’s toes. It’s dumb to move in as soon as you’re committed. Give your relationship a chance to grow first!

#8 Rushing into a physical relationship. When people fall in love, they lose all their senses and jump into bed with their partners. Now, if the relationship works out, then it’s going to be a memorable moment for both, but if it doesn’t, this same memory will turn into a nightmare. Remember: don’t rush into things. Unless you’re on the verge of death or shipping off to war, you have time. [Read: How to create sexual chemistry and make it last]

#9 Let’s get married! I understand love is blind, but you should know that love is blind, deaf, and stupid at times. You might think that it’s only in movies where people get married as soon as they find each other, but in real life, this happens often. What people in real life don’t understand is that marrying a complete stranger will have its consequences. It’s lovely in the beginning, but be warned that you’re playing a dangerous game: sure, it might work out, but it might also end in disaster and divorce.

[Next, read: Marriage advice – 11 tips for a happily ever after]

It’s amazing to fall in love, but you must remember to keep yourself together. I know that, despite this feature, people will continue to do dumb things in the name of love, but let’s at least keep the stupidity to a minimum. Go forth, be in love, and be sensible!

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Lakeisha Ethans
Lakeisha Ethans
They say life is a roller coaster ride, so I’m here, trying my bit (virtually of course) to make your ride worthwhile. Ups and downs are inevitable, but how y...
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DISCUSSION

3 thoughts on “Dumb Things We Do In The Name Of That 4-Letter Word: Love”

  1. numer says:

    Looking back, I wouldn’t call it “love”, but I was a teenager and a romantic introvert at the time so I thought I was falling in love with every pretty face. I was just beginning to taste freedom. I had my first job, my first car, and I was finally depositing some cash in to my own bank account. The teller at the branch I normally visited was really cute. Conversation came easy with her which was a big deal because I certainly didn’t know how to talk to girls. She had blonde hair, was a little chubby, but she wore it well and had a cool style about her. Mostly though, her face was a beautiful site to see and she would smile when she saw me. I worked up my courage one day and committed myself to asking her out to dinner. Having no relationship with her outside of the bank, I knew I would have to do it while she was working; a tricky proposition at best. Normally, I would have followed my never-ask-a-girl-out-at-work rule, but I decided that I had too many rules that started with “never-ask-a-girl-out-insert-situation-here.” Now or never, right? Do or die, right? I drove down to the bank with my heart pounding, walked in and right up to the velvet rope to traverse my way up to the teller. Back and forth, left and right between the furry lines. I finally made it to the front of the line only to realize that she wasn’t working the counter that day… she was working the drive-thru. I deposited my check with Tom… the only male teller in the branch. As he was getting the paperwork in order, she turned from the drive-thru window, saw me, smiled and waved. Encouragement! I had to come up with a new plan. I left the bank and made a bee line for my car where I hastily searched for a blank piece of paper and something to write with. I pulled around to the drive through. The only lane that was open was the third one, the one furthest from the window. She saw me pull up and we spoke over the intercom. “Hey! Weren’t you just in here?” she asked. “Yup, I forgot to deposit something.” I replied. “What is it?” she persisted. “Uh, you’ll see.” I answered lamely. I slipped the piece of paper inside the vacuum tube, said a prayer, and sent it through. My heart was racing as I watched her open the vacuum tube and unfold the paper where I’d scrawled, “let me take you out to dinner some time.” The intercom clicked on. “Thank you” she said in a tone that really meant, “we’re done here”. Confused, I said, “but did you…”. “THANK YOU” she cut me off. I drove away and never returned to that branch. To this day, that situation still holds several records in my life including “furthest distance I’ve been rejected” (must have been about 20 ft) and also “rejection through use of intercom device”.

  2. Callie says:

    Getting married seems to be something that a lot of people do when they think they’re in love. My husband and I waited for quite some time before we decided to tie the knot. We knew that if we rushed into anything major like marriage, we would have just had more stress added onto our already stressful lives. Love does make you do crazy things, but when you realize just how crazy they are, it’s either worth it or its not.

  3. Ah to the no says:

    I had just been broken up with by my longtime girlfriend of 4+ years. I was super depressed and didn’t know what to do. At the time, an ex that I hadn’t spoken to in a long time contacted me, and we hit it off straight away. She lived on the other side of the world now and she was saying how much she desperately wanted to see me. This new found attention meant that I thought I was falling for this girl. We would skype every day. I would pull ridiculous hours to stay up to speak to her. I decided “fu*k it, I’m flying over there”. I earnt great money and could afford to do it. So I did. The girl was ecstatic. She was telling me all the things we were going to do together. I was falling for her more and more. So I flew, the wrong way around the world, and it took 53 hours of travel time to get there. Oh god that was miserable. I got off the train, and there she was. She ran up to me, jumped on me and kissed me passionately straight away. We got to her place, and I asked where I was sleeping, to which she responded “my bed, where else” and threw me a wink. I was destroyed from the flights. I had a shower and got ready for bed. I got into bed, and there was a short teenage-y make-out sesh, but nothing else. I gathered that she knew how tired I was. So we cuddled to sleep. I woke up the next morning and she was sitting at the end of the bed, staring at me. I asked her what was up, and she said “we have to talk” and then she got ready for uni, and left for the day. So I was left there confused as fu*k, trying to work out what happened. She came home around 10pm that night, didn’t say hello, didn’t look at me. Then she sits down and says “I think you took it too far last night.” So of course I’m thinking “took what too far”. Turns out she thought that cuddling was “too much affection” She then proceeded to not talk to me for 3 days. I’m stuck in a foreign country, don’t know how to speak the language. Don’t know where the nearest grocery store is. Don’t have a set of keys, so I can’t leave the house. I didn’t eat for 3 days. On the Friday she asked me if I wanted to go out to a club with her and her friends from uni. I said yes. I needed to get out. So she brings me along to her friend’s house for some pre-drinks. She doesn’t introduce me to everyone, but as the night went on, she had obviously spoken about me. One by one, some of her friends would come up to me and be like “Hey man, go easy on [girl’s name] alright” or “Hey man, I’m close with [girl’s name] just watch your back, she means a lot to me”. So I’m thinking what the fu*k has she told these people? We go to a club, me and one of her ex’s actually got along like a house on fire (She had told me and him separately “he will not get along with you, he hates that you’ve been with me”) and had a great night. Then later that night I feel a hand on my throat and suddenly I’m up against a wall, held buy my throat. One of her pseudo-macho friends has a fist clenched and comes real close to me and says “I live 5 minutes away from [Girl’s Name] house and I will get there in 3, if you touch her again, I will fuc*ing kill you”. After pushing him off, I walked 3km home in a foreign country, barely knowing where I was in 0 Degrees Celsius in a Tshirt. Turns out she told people that I had raped her.

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