We’ve all had those thoughts, the “are we actually friends?” If you’ve been wondering can girls and guys really be friends, it’s time to find out.
Ah yes, we’ve finally come to the question that all of us want the answer: can girls and guys really be friends? Whether you’re a guy or a girl, you’ve thought about this at least once. Of course, people tell you when you have a friend of the opposite sex, one of you must like the other person. But, I beg to differ.
In my opinion, girls and guys can be friends. I’m saying this because my roommate and best friend is a guy. Now, I’m not saying that your male friend does not have feelings for you or vice versa, but I can honestly say that though I appreciate my friend’s looks, I’ve never wanted anything more with him. I’m pretty sure it goes the same way for him.
Can girls and guys be friends?
So, can girls and guys be friends? I think so. However, there are some challenges with getting your friendship to that level. I mean, if you’re in love with your friend or vice versa, it’s not going to be easy. But there are some things to do to build a real and authentic relationship with someone of the opposite sex.
Here’s how to be friends with someone of the opposite sex. It’s possible, trust me.
#1 Don’t go into a friendship with an ulterior motive. This is probably not going to work in your favor. So many people try to be friends with someone because they want something from them.
For example, you want to be friends with them because you want to sleep with them. It’s not going to work. I mean, you may end up sleeping with them, but you won’t ever be true friends. [Read: 16 annoyances of long-term FWB relationships]
#2 Define your relationship. I know everyone has a problem with labels, but they’re helpful, so get over it. You don’t need to have a serious chat with this person, but you need to communicate your feelings and see where you both stand. The worst thing is when one person is into the other and end up getting hurt in the end. [Read: Have modern relationships changed for the worse or better?]
#3 If you’re already dating someone, include them. When you have friends of the opposite sex, your partner may be suspicious. Of course, they’re slightly jealous, but they also don’t know the intentions of this person. In addition, if something is unclear, including your partner in the friendship is a great way to acknowledge the boundaries.
#4 Is there sexual tension? I’m going to be honest with you, there’s always some sort of sexual tension. It can be very minimal, but it’s still there. This doesn’t mean you must have sex or make out. You can be physically attracted to your friends, that’s okay. This doesn’t mean your friendship is ruined.
#5 Have boundaries. Walking around naked in front of this person or holding their hands isn’t really within the boundaries of a friendship. Then again, we’re well into the new century, so what do I know. But I think it’s important to have boundaries in all relationships. You can have movie nights with them but if you’re dry humping their leg, well, it’s time you had a talk about your friendship. [Read: 10 crucial steps to setting boundaries]
#6 If someone has feelings, take a break. This is necessary. It’s happened to me and my friend. We took a couple months to cool off and reevaluated his feelings. I didn’t lose him as a friend. In fact, we became close friends and now he’s in a relationship. Respect this person’s feelings and give them space if they start to catch feelings for you or vice versa.
#7 Expect your partners not to understand your friendship. You partner may be asking you why you hang out with that person. Listen, they’re not going to understand. Even though they probably have friends of the opposite sex themselves, they see them as a threat.
#8 Do assume that they like you. When people have friends of the opposite sex, everyone assumes that there’s a sex love developing or that in one moment they’ll have sex. Listen, you can have a friendship that’s strictly platonic. You can be emotionally attracted to someone without having the physical and/or sexual attraction. [Read: How to be friends without crossing the platonic line]
#9 You don’t have to see them every day. I see my best friend every day because we live together, but prior to that, I would see him once or twice a week. You normally don’t see your friends all the time, and this friend isn’t any different. If you need to see him every day, that’s also okay. Just make sure you know where your feelings lie.
#10 Every relationship is different. This is really true. Some people are able to have relationships with the opposite sex while other people are not. You may connect with someone months after meeting them or you may lose the connection. Don’t go by the relationships of others because everyone is different. [Read: 14 platonic friendship rules to be just friends without the drama]
#11 Be honest. This is the only way your friendship is going to work. You and your friend need to be completely honest with each other. Communication in any relationship is essential, so you need to know where they stand and what they’re comfortable with. It’s not about you, it’s about their own personal boundaries.
Now that you know that it is possible, it’s time you implemented some of these tips into your friendship. In the beginning, it may be a challenge, but you’ll answer the question, can girls and guys really be friends, for yourself.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...