If you’re someone who just can’t make up your damn mind, there might be bigger reasons as to why. Why am I so indecisive? If this is you, here’s why.
Not being able to make decisions isn’t something to take lightly. Being an indecisive person seems like a personality trait but it might be the result of some bigger issues. If you keep asking “Why am I so indecisive?” there might be a few major reasons as to why.
Believe it or not, you need to be able to make choices for yourself. Sure, some may be harder to make but you should still be able to choose. If you find that all decisions, even if they’re pretty small, are becoming issues for you, something might be wrong.
You can’t always let someone else make the decisions for you
There comes a time in your life when you need to start making your own choices. This might be at different times for different people but ultimately, you shouldn’t need others to make your choices for you.
Usually, the older you get the more decisions you need to make on your own. You might ask your parents or friends for advice but you should be the one deciding. This just happens as you get older. Your choices impact your life greatly and always allowing someone else to pull the string won’t be good for you. [Read: 10 decisions you should never let your partner make for you]
Why am I so indecisive?
If this is a question you find yourself asking a lot, there’s a problem. Making decisions shouldn’t be the end of the world. Having issues with the decision-making process usually means there are bigger problems at play. Here’s why you might be really indecisive.
#1 Someone’s always made your decisions for you. This is more than likely your parents. If they’ve always played a part in making your choices for you, that can be a huge problem as you get older. You don’t have any experience making choices. Therefore, you have difficulties making them.
#2 You worry too much about what other people think. If you’re constantly worrying about what people are thinking, it’ll make it harder for you to decide. You want to make sure people don’t judge you for your decisions. And so you worry about each and every outcome and ultimately, it makes deciding way harder. [Read: 15 steps to not care about what people think]
#3 You have anxiety. Not being able to make decisions, along with a lot of other symptoms, might just prove you have an anxiety disorder. When you’re really indecisive, it could be a sign that you get anxious over the outcomes and therefore, can’t make a choice. Make sure to research other signs to see if this is your problem.
#4 You don’t want to disappoint people. Having an issue with disappointing someone could be your problem. You never want anyone to feel bad about a decision you make and so it tugs at your sympathy, making it harder to decide. You can’t let what other people feel affect something that’s impacting your life in such a big way. [Read: 20 common signs of a people pleaser you just don’t see]
#5 Your decisions have led you down bad paths before. Meaning, you don’t want a repeat of something that’s happened before. However, you can’t always control what happens. A lot of things in life are out of your control and you only have the power to make a choice. Don’t let your past dictate your future.
#6 You don’t want to hurt other people. Again, this is all about thinking about other people over yourself. You need to forget about others sometimes. This is especially true if the decision will impact your life in a major way. Be a little selfish.
#7 You overthink everything. If you’re overanalyzing a situation and picturing a bunch of different outcomes, just stop. You’re overthinking it. Simplify the decision and simplify the end result. Overthinking will only do bad things for you. [Read: 11 strategies to learn how to stop overthinking]
#8 You’re not realistically weighing the options. Which means your end result is skewed. Oftentimes, we don’t look at a situation for what it is when we really want to make a certain choice.
Deciding to spend the weekend with your boyfriend will have all sorts of pros and zero cons when it’s what you want to do. But if you know deep-down that it’s the wrong decision and you need to focus on studying or work, the choice becomes a lot easier.
How to make deciding a lot easier
If you’re definitely the type of person who’s always asking, “why am I so indecisive?” you need to learn a few ways to help you make those choices. Here’s what you can do the next time you need to make a big decision. [Read: Should you worry about justifying your life choices?]
#1 Weigh the pros and cons. There are pros and cons to every situation. If you accurately weigh them both, going with the choice that has the most pros is the obvious decision. It’ll take your emotions and the opinions of others completely off the table.
#2 Visualize the possible outcomes. Sit down and think about what would happen with each decision. Now which of those situations made you happy and which didn’t? The choice should be pretty obvious.
#3 Determine which decision is best for YOU and you only. Stop thinking about everyone else. If the choice will affect your life greatly, you need to think about yourself only. How will you feel? What’s best for your life? You’ll have to make choices that are good for you and might not be good for others but in this case, being selfish is necessary. [Read: 15 ways to discover self-love and find happiness]
#4 Remember that you can’t please everyone. Not everyone will be happy with every single decision you make in your life. You can’t try to please people. You’ll never be happy if you do. Just realize that, no matter what, somebody somewhere won’t be happy. This can help you push those issues aside so you can make a choice.
#5 Trust your intuition. Your gut instinct is just that, an instinct. You need to learn to trust it. If you really, really think you need to make a certain decision even though all the other signs point away from it, trust your gut. Make that choice.
#6 Get some opinions but take them lightly. If you’re having a particularly tough time, just ask a few people for their advice. Don’t ask what they think you should do, ask what advice they might have for the situation. This can help you see things from a different perspective so you can make the choice that’s right for you. [Read: How to express your opinions without seeming cocky]
#7 Realize that some decision won’t turn out the way you hoped. You’ll make some bad decisions in your life. You’re not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. That being said, you need to remember this. It’ll take the pressure off of the decision knowing that it’s okay if it’s a bad one. We learn from our mistakes and it’ll help you with the decision-making process later in life.
Why am I so indecisive? The older you get, the harder some decisions will be. Regardless, if you’re someone who can’t make decisions, you’ll need to know why and how to fix it because choices are a part of life.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...