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8 Reasons to Stop Being Jealous of Your Engaged Friends

jealous of engaged friends

If scrolling through your news feed and seeing all the engagement photos leaves you feeling jealous, these 8 tips will help you combat that envy!

I know I’m there–at the point where I go through my Facebook feed, and every other photo consists of a ring finger with a big, shiny rock on it, followed by 80 congratulatory comments. And here I am, all by myself, posting nothing but funny cat videos.

I started getting annoyed by all of the engagements between my friends. That annoyance quickly turned into jealousy, as it seems like everyone is starting their lives, and I’m still trying to figure out how to balance work, my social life, and Netflix binge-watching time.

Should I really be this jealous of my friends getting engaged?

No, I shouldn’t. I soon came to the realization that just because other people are finding their perfect match, doesn’t mean that I have to sit here in a cloud of green envy and daydream about my future spouse. And neither do you. Whether you’re single or taken, there are so many reasons to be happy with where you are–and better yet, to actually be happy for your friends. It’s time to bring out the sunshine and blow away the cloud that’s dragging you down.

#1 You have way more freedom than they do. This one may seem really obvious, but hear me out. I don’t mean that if you’re engaged, you can’t do anything that you want to– ever–but if you’re not engaged, you have more freedom to do whatever, whenever you want, without having to consult someone about the matter beforehand.

If you get invited on a last-minute week-long road trip with your friends, you can do that right away without having to discuss with your significant other who’s going to do the laundry for the week. How can you be jealous of that? [Read: Why it’s so great to be single in your 20s]

#2 You will have more time for yourself than they will. With more freedom comes more time for you to do whatever you want. I mean, if you want to have a Netflix marathon while eating a week’s worth of Cheetos in your underwear, who’s to stop you?

I bet your engaged friends don’t have the option of cranking up the music and dancing around their room like an idiot, or spending 8 hours propped up in bed, playing Call of Duty on the Xbox. Nope. Not when they *most likely* share the room with their spouse-to-be and have to worry about making dinner for each other.

#3 It just might not be your time, anyway. Are you really even ready for something so serious? How can you be envious of people getting hitched when you aren’t keen on the actual idea of marriage, anyway? Maybe you haven’t found that special someone. I don’t know about you, but I can barely stick to one t-shirt for a single day, much less one person for the rest of my life. At least not right now. And that is more than okay with me! [Read: 13 questions to ask yourself before getting married]

#4 Wedding planning is stressful. Sure, the engagement is super fun, and people get really excited for them, but then they actually have to plan a wedding. From the guest list, flowers, and cake, to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, they’ll have very little time between the engagement and the actual wedding to do anything remotely fun! They can kiss relaxing Saturday mornings watching cartoons in their pajamas goodbye and say hello to wedding planner meetings and cake samples.

Okay, so maybe the cake tasting wouldn’t be all that bad, but better than pajamas and cartoons? Probably not.

#5 Weddings are expensive. Unless they’re living in an unrealistic romantic comedy or their parents can pay for everything, they’re going to have to dole out a lot of dough to make their wedding a reality. Just paying for the venue and reception meals is enough to make me grateful I don’t have to worry about that just yet.

That isn’t to mention the price of the engagement ring that was just purchased! No, thanks. I would prefer to spend my paychecks on overpriced sneakers, Chinese food, and wine. Wouldn’t you? [Read: 13 tips on how to be a less materialistic person]

#6 Moving can be a pain. Unless they’re already living together *or even if they aren’t but are planning to buy a house together soon*, one of them will have to move into the other’s home. This means squeezing all of their precious belongings in a moving truck, praying the movers don’t break anything, and then trying to find a place for all of their favorite knickknacks in their new digs.

Conservations like, “What do you mean I can’t have my beanie baby collection out in the living room? It deserves to be seen!” and “Only if my Star Wars action figures can stay on the entertainment center,” can be very real arguments. I think I’m okay with having the place to myself.

#7 They will have to have awkward conversations about spending money. If your friends are engaged to be married, then they are probably going to have a talk about money fairly soon–if they haven’t already. Sharing bank accounts, credit cards, and even debt is something that won’t be easy for them to figure out.

I’m not at all jealous of the fact that, if I was engaged, someone would be able to see how much money I spend on Chinese food per month and verbally judge–more like scold–me for it.

#8 They are happy and in love, so be happy for them! The ultimate way to stop being jealous of your friends getting engaged is to simply be happy for them! They’re your friends, and they have found someone they want to spend their life with. This is something you should be celebrating! Not something you should be sulking about from behind your computer while wrapped up in a nest of blankets.

[Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]

If you’re at the point in your life where it seems like everyone is getting engaged except for you, take a deep breath, and remember these 8 reasons to stop being jealous. There are far more important things to worry about than getting hitched–like the amount of hilarious cat videos you have yet to watch online!

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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DISCUSSION

2 thoughts on “8 Reasons to Stop Being Jealous of Your Engaged Friends”

  1. basic says:

    My man and I first met just over 3 years ago, and have been together ever since. We genuinely fell for each other, head over heels, when we first met. I wasn’t expecting to meet someone like him and he was the same for me. Long story short, he left the country and I left to meet him 6 months later. We moved in together, had a great life full of adventures living overseas, and talked about the future so easily like it was the most natural progression. When we moved back to our home country, we moved in together again and have been in our current living situation for almost a year. All in all, we have a wonderful relationship. We both work full time, earn good money have independent lives and interests but also share a lot together. We see our friends a lot and have no issues with one of us going out and the other one not, and we have become an integral part of each other’s families. However. In the last 6 months, I could probably count on all fingers and all toes the amount of people I know that have gotten engaged. So what? You might say. And that’s exactly it… it makes me feel weird. My SO and I (lets call him James) have spoken about marriage, the future, kids etc, and he has always told me that he knows I’m ‘The One’, that we will buy a house together one day (we currently live in an apartment that I own), we will get a dog, we will have kids, these will be their names etc.. and none of that conversation scares me at all. I’ve never felt more ready for marriage (note, I didn’t say a wedding, I said marriage!) in my life. I don’t like to be the sort of girl that pressures him and says WHEN WHEN WHEN etc, but lately I’ve just found it so hard, seeing all these other couples getting engaged and sharing their happiness with everyone. Yes, Facebook is the devil, but I just feel like every few days I wake up and see someone else’s boyfriend has proposed, someone else gets to plan their future with a certainty that I don’t think I will feel 100% until we’re engaged. Which also makes me sad. James is perfect for me. He works hard, he’s easy to get along with and makes me so happy. When we have discussed getting married he always says “if I’m pressured to do something it has the opposite effect on me” and only one or two of his friends are married. He is currently the most ‘committed’ out of all his friends and perhaps he just doesn’t see the need to change that. I always have friends and family commenting about how ‘we’ll be the next couple’ and ‘when are you getting married’ etc. My mother even asked me if I had thought about where I want to get married the other day!! Basically I feel like a jealous little princess, which isnt really me at all 🙁 he knows that I’m ready to get engaged, and we know that we both want to be with each other.. but why am I wanting to hurry it up so much? Whenever I see photos of someones engagement party or wedding day, I just feel that pang inside of ‘when will it be my turn?’. Which sucks. He has told me that when the time is right, it will happen etc, but then other times I just feel like he doesn’t see it as necessary to have a happy and fulfilling life. And I feel like I’m in this limbo stage.I guess I’m just beginning to feel a bit.. left out. Which is so petty.

  2. pigface says:

    Hey, four year boat here. We have a ten month old and we’re happy together. Since I got pregnant, this is all I’ve heard, particularly from coworkers and not-immediately-nearby relatives. People who know us well tell me they consider us married. Everyone else assumes we’re married, and when I explain that we aren’t, they ask me why we aren’t married, when it’s happening, and tells me that I need to start issuing ultimatums. Nobody says anything to him about it, of course, but the second he leaves the room at family functions, everyone turns to me hot as hell wanting to know why he hasn’t proposed yet. And I have to bite my tongue from screaming back that I don’t know either and it’s turning me into a crazy person. Lately I’ve just started saying the most tactful thing I can come up with that isn’t blatantly passive-aggressive: “I don’t know; you should ask him.” My SO’s brother is about to propose to his awful pigface princess-mentality girlfriend (she’s demanded it) of 1.5 years. But me? Nope. Not even a peep about it. I keep convincing myself every time a semi-romantic holiday comes up that maybe this is the time, but it never happens. I try to bring up the subject, and all I get back is vague mumbling about how it won’t change anything, about his brother’s relationship or how his mother waited ten years to marry her current husband, etc. He’s on the “it’s ok to wait 32402349 years” train while I’m working myself up into a sopping ball of insecurity and hopelessness. If he won’t even give me a straight answer, why would he give me a ring? He insisted that our son have his last name, and I fought people away from nagging us about marriage tooth and nail, but now that we’re settling into a family dynamic, I’m embarrassed that I’m still checking Single on government forms and having to explain why my son’s last name is different than mine at doctor’s visits. I’m going to be “the gf” forever. Like we’re in a freaking high school. If we’re “practically married already”, what’s wrong with getting actually married? Maybe he doesn’t love you, I find myself saying. If he loved you, he wouldn’t hesitate, right? He knows you don’t expect anything obnoxious or over-the-top, so clearly, he just doesn’t want you. He doesn’t care about your feelings because he doesn’t love you. I know that he does love me and that, odds are, he’s probably completely oblivious to how insane I’m going over this. He’s not the romantic type, and I knew that was what I was getting when I started dating him. But jesus christ, he’s not a piece of astroturf; I’ve dropped enough hints and outright told him that I’m going to steal his thunder and propose soon if he doesn’t. And… Nothing. So the crazy brain sneaks in and starts whispering those insecure thoughts, and pretty soon, I’m pinning 30 things to my wedding board on Pinterest. Classy. Oh well. If all else fails, I’ll go buy myself a semi-decent ring, wear it on my right hand, and tell people that I’ve married myself.

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