Comments on: Are You Losing a Friend or Just Drifting Away? http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend Flirt. Tease. Fall in Love. Indulge in the finest reads on love, dating, self improvement, and a lot more. Tue, 28 Apr 2015 11:26:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.4 By: Anonymous http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-5504447 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:13:46 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-5504447 Me and my best friend…my soul sister.We met 5 years ago.We were both fans of the same band, we were both music lovers, we liked the same movies, we watched movies together a couple times, we talked about anything and everything.I got to know her and I think, she got to know me too.
Our friendship went so great for a year.She is 3 years older than myself.I had abandoned high school and she was in college.She had just got out of a friendship, as so did I.We connected quickly.She told me all about her previous friendship, how it ended because apparently her bestie betryed her.
I felt sorry for her and for a long time I supported her.
After a few months we started planning out the future together.We started working on a project.On a similar project that she and her ex bff were supposed to work on, till the bff betrayed her.
We had to work on the project separately.I had done my part, and whenever I would ask, “how’s your part going?” she’d make excuses.I overlooked it…I told myself, she has college, she’s busy, she has her family who doesn’t agree with her passions, etc.
After a year of friendship, it was autumn, she had to go back to college.She told me she’d be unable to reply me for a while…cause she’s gonna be busy.
Okay.I waited.A week…two weeks…it passed one month.I checked facebook to see if she is online.I started to get worried, I was hoping that nothing bad happened to her.I messaged her twice a week.Then, finally, I saw it.
Not only did she completely ignored the “Hey sister, how are you?I miss you” post on her wall, but she also replied to someone else…and she had accepted her ex best friend on fb.And she replied to her.They were talking as if nothing had happened.
I did not know how to react.I was in shock.How the hell could this happen?She more than once expressed her despise toward that girl.Now she was talking to her.
I swallowed my pride at the thought of betrayal and messaged her on the subject.If she was happy having this girl back in her life, I was going to support her.”We are sisters.I will always be there for you.”
I tried befriending the other girl.I asked my bestie, what about our project?Do you still want to go on with it?
No answer.The other girl seemed to be a nice person.
In the end…I accepted I have been betrayed.For days, I cried.I yelled.I broke stuff in my room.I took up other projects of my own.Tried to cope while also trying to carry on the promise, “friends forever”.
Finally…I stopped talking to her.I let out all my feelings.I said, it’s over.She will no longer be part of my life.
Till she contacted me.She was having issues in her life…she still does.
I threw in her face everything.Why did she lie to me?Why did she give up our project?At least she could have told me!We were friends.I had to find out from her fb about she and her ex bff.And what the hell was it all about?”It was a misunderstanding” she said.That her ex bff called her oneday, apologized, and they worked things out.
Okay.She got her happy end.
What about me?And it’s not jealousy here.It’s protecting what’s MINE, because she was my friend, she was mine, before the other girl came between us.
I love her like the sister I never had.I decided to let her back in my life.Because to be honest, I can’t live with the pain of knowing she does not love me enough.That she “doesn’t trust when someone is being nice to her” as she once said, in other words, she doesn’t trust me.She used to trust me, when she gave me all those details about her.She trusted me then.And I trusted her.
But even more than this pain, I can’t take the pain of not having her in my life.I cannot take not being able to be there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on, to share the joy when good things happen in her life.I cannot take not being able to have my friend and to be her friend.
I’m trying to fight to recover her friendship, I know it’s not easy and maybe I will fail.But I’d rather die than give up after succeeding to forgive her lies, her silence.
Maybe this is friendship.When someone is close to another due to a specific interest.Or maybe it is love that brings people together.Maybe it’s both.
I don’t know.But I know sometimes it’s worth fighting for a friendship, even if in the end, it will turn to be a lost cause.

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By: Highly concerned http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-5503445 Thu, 05 Mar 2015 00:13:39 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-5503445 Truly sensing the change after reading this & feeling what I’ve felt as of late equal out to be true. Or I could be overthinking this. We are, definitely, drifting apart. I’m 26 & my best friend is 25. My best friend & I became friends in 8th grade but we didn’t get close until after high school. She’s the longest friendship I’ve ever had. As of late I’ve been hitting her up & it’s only been me hitting her up. In the past we usually have had an healthy awesome of us taking the time with talking or texting each other. I respect her space because she works a lot & in school. Yet no ones that busy to talk or text. But recently texting her has been like a forced tasked. Like a chore. At least how it appears to me. Her response is not as engaging. No short answers but once she says what she says its like its over. In that moment I’m expecting some feedback yet I get nothing. Then it’s hours before I get a response & I just stop expecting it. It sucks & I know this is apart of life. Yet each time this has happened to me I don’t think I truly get use to this. I don’t want to assume but I can’t help but make this conclusion. I know I’ll make more friends & this will be an afterthought but sadly everyone’s concept of friendship is day & night. Maybe i just don’t know how to be a friend.

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By: worried http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-5501397 Mon, 19 Jan 2015 06:26:57 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-5501397 Me and my Buddy’s wife became really good best friends now she seems distant and doesn’t seem like she wants to talk as much as we use to. We’d talk for hours most days but conversation has became short and almost non existent. We would share and talk about everything

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By: Confused http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-5497827 Wed, 29 Oct 2014 22:39:04 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-5497827 I had a best guy friend. We would walk togeather and text each other for hours. The one day I wasn’t there because I was sick. I come back and he’s so distant! We used to smile and laugh to together but it went away in 3 short days and I don’t know what to do.

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By: sketch http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-3941456 Sun, 30 Mar 2014 01:59:47 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-3941456 Americans don’t know what friendships are. Friends should remain friends no matter what, but not in America. Friendships -as this article has defines it – is very transactional for Americans. If there’s nothing to gain, there’s no use of having a friend. NOT SO! Friendships are supposed to be the other way round — have a friend & be a friend to someone EVEN IF there is nothing to gain. This is why there is so much depression and isolation in the states because you have no friends!!

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By: Isabel http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-3816256 Wed, 05 Mar 2014 02:00:32 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-3816256 Me and my bestfriend were friends for a while now. We have so many memories and sleepovers… we even planned our whole future life together.. what our wedding was going to be like how our houses would look like, but now she met many othe friends and seemed to forget the memories we held in the past. It seems as if im running the friendship alone and if I let go we will collapse…. I miss the old us so bad how I wasn’t akward to talk to her at times.

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By: Raven smiles http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-3700842 Sat, 01 Feb 2014 14:33:24 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-3700842 Me and my bestie used to always hang-out with each other and have sleepovers almost every weekend!!! But then, a new friend came along… Now they hang-out with each other and I’m never invited. When I told my friend about my jealousy she said not to worry and that no matter what we’ll be friends forever. But still, when I see her in the hallways and wave at her, she barely smiles, but then when I see her look at her other friend, she smiles a really big smile and laughs and has fun with her. I don’t know what to do, I’m losing my best friend and I’m afraid she doesn’t like me any more…..

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By: Hannah http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-2783084 Mon, 07 Oct 2013 21:56:31 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-2783084 Before I went to university last year I had a few really good friends from college. In fact one of them from school and we use to be really open with each other. However when I came back at Easter time and one of them contacted me to meet up it just happened I was with my partner. I told him I am always with my partner at weekends. So unfortunately I never got to see them. When I went back I kept trying to contact them on Facebook but it was like they had planned together to ignore me. Recently they deleted me on Facebook and I don’t know what I did wrong but I guess it is their problem. Shame though because we all use to get on so well!

But now I have just moved on and I still have my partner, some good friends at home and have friends at university. Sometimes you just have to face the fact that when you are in different life stages to your friends then it is so easy to lose the friendship because you have effectively gone separate ways.

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By: Katie http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-2483460 Thu, 05 Sep 2013 02:58:37 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-2483460 Me and my old best friend were together for 6-7 years we were never seperated then a girl my old best friend thought was horrible and mean became “changed” and they became friends and then she started dance and I was pretty much out of the picture and it’s been over 3 year and when we see each other we dont ever look at each other or say anything and I do admit I still miss her and I’ve needed someone to talk to about all the shit in my life there only way older or way younger kids in my nabor hood she was a year young then me

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By: Enid http://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/reflections/are-you-losing-a-friend#comment-1295984 Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:25:35 +0000 http://www.lovepanky.com/?p=9250#comment-1295984 Muster the Courage & Confidence to Move On!

When I was in my late teens & early twenties, my best friends were a group that were considered socially “better” than me. They were similar to each other, but I was slightly on the outside. Still, they were kind and we had fun together, but they always treated me with a little bit of superiority. They would also sometimes make little comments about my background. I stayed friends with them for years because I was afraid of being lonely and making a change.

Finally, though, one day something happened where two banded together against me because of a mistake I made. We all make mistakes (and they did too, mind you). I was so upset. I simply got fed up and avoided contact after that day. I did it kind of subetly almost. They were perplexed and tried to get me to come back, but I was having none of that! I remained polite and smiled when I saw them, but I never met them socially again. I’ve been so much happier ever since, and have never looked back!

And, by the way, I’ve become very successful in my career and met my wonderful husband, and we have a lovely family. I’m also much happier with the friends I have. It’s scary, but you CAN make the change to better friends and it will totally effect your whole life!

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