Some of you may have been lucky enough to have been a VIP or a Rockstar, but if you’re not really careful about your attitude and behavior, people may just get bored of you. Gasp! And then what? Well, you become a Has-Been. Ready to learn how to party like one?
Hairdo Memories
Do your hair like when you were famous. Then they’ll remember you.
Dress Code
You know you owned the night back in those days when you were the Jha. So you could carry off just about anything now. Wear clothes meant for people half your age. You’d fit in, like a snug glove!
Grab Attention
Get your minimum wage agent to find you a spot on a reality show or a contest, as a judge, cameo, or a guest judge.
Claim to Fame
When you meet members of the press outside, try and engage them in conversations about the show/album/movie that was your one claim to the famed fifteen minutes of fame.
Come get some!
When you get into the party, try to use your (non)celebrity status to go get some. When it doesn’t work out, storm out. Saves you from a lot of embarrassment.
The Grind
Try hooking up with young hotties, and try really hard with your old 80’s lines. Get the paparazzi to take shots of you grinding with pretty young things, if you can get them to. Publicity, especially with pretty people in your arms, has a strange way of having an effect.
Prancing Around
If you’re not getting enough attention, pretend like you’re drunk (when you’re not). And start taking your clothes off and prance around in your bikinis or undies.
Pay the Price
You like being in the limelight, so do something about it. Buy drinks for all the paparazzi at the club you’re at. There’s always a price to pay for ensuring only flattering pictures of you appear in the paper tomorrow.
Push your Luck
Push your luck around and ask for absurd things. You won’t get it, of course. But at least your ‘circling the hotel’ while hoping for the changes will get you enough attention from the press. Who can forget Mariah Carey and her wish-lists?
Throw Money
Tip the bartender or the waiter with exorbitant amounts. FYI, you can’t really afford too much. But make sure the whole club sees a wad of rolled notes (cheap bills?) in your hands before it slips palms.
And there you are, the perfect has-been. Times can get difficult and people may forget your name. But you’re still all game!
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