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18 Undeniable Signs that You Have Found “The One”

18 Undeniable Signs that You Have Found "The One"

All these movies and series are always going on about finding “The One,” but how can you be sure you’ve found yours? Here are 18 ways to find out! By Lianne Choo

They say that love at first sight belongs in cheesy love songs, chick flicks and racy novels. In today’s day and age that plays host to skyrocketing divorce rates, fast paced lifestyles and predominantly online human communication, it’s far better to take a closer look.

In fact, many experts agree that it is the smart thing to do. According to a blog piece published on The Economist, “Love at first sight exists, but it is not a very common basis for long-term relationships.” The aforementioned quote goes to show the initial attraction doesn’t always carry over to long-term togetherness.

The post also refers to research conducted by Ayala Malack-Pines, a psychologist in Israel. It says that, “A small fraction (11%) of people in long-term relationships said they began with love at first sight.” That is a very tiny number when compared to the 89% of other couples out there.

Although it’s not impossible to fall in love in the blink of an eye, it’s very important to know a person inside and out before committing yourself to them. [Read: 14 most common reasons relationships fail]

One of the reasons divorce rates have spiked in recent decades is because people nowadays rush into marriage without thinking it through first. Future goals, personalities, family life, careers and everything else come into play when deciding whom to spend the rest of your life with.

How can I know if our relationship can last a lifetime?

Obviously, you have to think of whether or not the person you’re with now is the one whom you can spend the rest of your life with. Still not completely sure what signs you should look for? Here are the top 18 things that tell you that your partner may indeed be “The One.”

#1 You have been together long term. They say that the relationships that last the longest are the ones that are showered with the most attention. Deciding if your partner is “The One” is obviously made significantly clearer if you have been together long term. The longer you know someone, the more likely you will be able to determine if you belong together. [Read: 11 tips for a happily ever after]

#2 Your gut tells you so. Although going with your emotions is not the smartest way to judge if you have found “The One,” it plays a very important role in the grand scheme of things. You will have an inexplicable feeling in your heart that you have found the perfect one for you. You will know just like that when all the pieces are in place.

#3 The timing is perfect. You have heard stories about perfect relationships not working out because the timing was off. Do not underestimate the importance of timing when it comes to being with that special someone. Finding “The One” is hard enough and even when you do, the timing has to be right. For example, he could be getting ready to move across the world for his career when you first meet or she could be getting out of a bad relationship and is not ready to commit. Pushing through despite a rocky start to the relationship may already spell the doom of your relationship.

#4 You are at peace. When you are in a happy and healthy relationship, you should feel an overall sense of happiness and peace. Everyday stresses should take a backseat to the positive emotions that you feel when you are with “The One.” Though you may go through some rough patches, you still find solace in the fact that you’re in a relationship with someone whom you’re willing to fight through everything with.

#5 You want things that you never expected. The people who have our hearts possess an inexplicable power to change our minds. Being with “The One” will change your mind on many things. For example, you may have pegged yourself as someone who never wanted kids but when you find “The One,” there is a very high chance that you will change your mind, even more so if your partner wants children. Stability and security tend to do that to even the biggest of cynics. The same can be said for those who never believed in marriage.

When you meet the perfect person for you, long term commitment will seem like the natural thing to do and not something to be feared. The same can be said for doing things that you never thought you would ever attempt like backpacking though India or hiking the Andes.

#6 You love their flaws. You know that you have found “The One” when you can confidently say that you still love this person despite their flaws. It is a two way street and if your partner can say the same about you, who is to say that you were not meant to be?

#7 You’re not together out of loneliness. As is the case with any relationship, it is very important to determine why you are with your partner in the first place. If you can confidently say that you are together not just because you are afraid of being alone, you are on the right track. Many people make the mistake of thinking that they have found their soulmate, just because they cannot stand the thought of being alone. [Read: Are you lonely in your relationship? Here are 7 ways to fix that!]

#8 There is mutual respect. Love and respect go hand in hand, and you have to realize that one cannot function without the other. If there is a deep sense of mutual respect in your relationship, then you can confidently say that you have found a very important quality that “The One” should possess. [Read: 9 unspoken relationship rules all couples need to follow]

#9 You completely trust each other. If you cannot trust each other, then you might as well break up right now. There is no point in kidding yourself into believing that both of you can work it out without the presence of trust. Being able to wholeheartedly trust your partner is one of the major determinants when deciding if you have found “The One.” [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship]

#10 You wouldn’t change a thing. Many people go through hard times wishing that they had done things differently. However, you can be sure that you have found the one if you can confidently say that despite all the hardships and heartache that you have been through, you would not change anything at all. You’d willingly go through all those tough times if it means, in the end, you’ll be with your partner.

#11 You’re like Yin and Yang. Being in a relationship is all about complementing and bringing out the best in each other. If you get along with your other half famously in spite of your differences, then you know that you have found your perfect mate.

#12 You can’t imagine another life. Finding your soulmate is all about wanting to build a life together, and any other option that does not involve this person is unimaginable. If you want to know if the person you are with is really “The One,” then take a moment to visualize what life might be like without him or her. If the thought of not seeing this person everyday for the rest of your life hurts you beyond belief, then you have found a keeper.

#13 Being together is all that matters. The saying, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” certainly applies to relationships. When you have found “The One,” you will do anything to keep the relationship alive, no matter how impossible it seems. Whether it is going long distance until you can figure out a way to physically be together again, or moving to a foreign country to support your spouse’s career, being together is the top priority. Even though you know that life is going to be terrifyingly different, you do not mind taking that risk, if it means being with your partner.

#14 Sacrifices are easy to make. No one wants to make sacrifices for people they do not care about. Even if people are doing it for someone they love, it does not change the fact that giving something up is not easy. However, if you are sure that you have found “The One,” then sacrificing certain things are not that difficult to do. In fact, what would have been impossible to give up before will now seem that much simpler if you are doing it for someone you love.

#15 You share the same end goal. Being with someone special is not about looking at each other, but about looking in the same direction. Once you have determined that you guys share the same end goal, this person is probably the perfect one for you. Whether it is someday moving to Australia to travel the outback for a year, or buying a house in the country and raising a family, if you and your partner share the same goal, then you can chalk it up as a sign that you have found “The One.”

#16 Physical attraction is prevalent. Think quality instead of quantity. It may be true that those in brand new relationships have way more sex than those in long term ones. Real life and responsibilities tend to get in the way of a daily romp between the sheets. However, if you are still turned on by your partner after years of being together, then you have probably found the perfect one for you. [Read: 10 naughty games to spice up your sex life]

#17 You want to share everything. Having someone special in your life means having someone whom you can share everything with. From your deepest darkest fears to a detailed description of what you had for lunch, if you can open up and share everything with this person, then you can confidently say you’ve bared your soul to your soulmate. You want to share your past, your present and your future with this one person for the rest of your life. [Read: 13 unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]

#18 You’re completely yourself. This point is perhaps the most important one of all when determining if you have found your perfect match. If you can completely be yourself, then you definitely hit a home run in the love department. There is no more need to keep your defenses up or to try to impress your partner. What matters is that you love each other despite the little quirks and flaws.

It can take years of different life experiences to definitively know if your partner is “The One.” But if you open your eyes and look for these signs, you’ll learn if your relationship is worth keeping. When you see all these signs in your relationship, let us extend our congratulations for finding “The One!”

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Lianne Choo
Lianne Choo
Born in Singapore and raised in Malaysia to multi-racial parents, Lianne is a self-proclaimed travel and food junkie. Having traveled extensively around the wor...
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4 thoughts on “18 Undeniable Signs that You Have Found “The One””

  1. lambo says:

    I was in process of divorcing staying at my sisters house, then in this process being away from her about a month a woman gave me the attention that I was begging for then it happened, I f’d up.bit that was in the moment I thought I would never ever do to my true love my wife while we we2in this process, I confessed to her what I did. I am now going to church rigorously for me to better myself for my kids as well…How do I mend things again with my wife I don’t want to divide us and start all over…I love and adore her I want to grow old with her.

  2. Terry says:

    When you’re at peace, then the world is definitely a better place. This is why that serenity is so important in a relationship. When you’re at odds all the time and there’s constant bickering and fighting, then you’ve definitely not found the one and it’s time to start looking elsewhere. None of us are getting any younger, so there’s absolutely no reason to stick around in relationships that just aren’t working. You owe it to yourself to both deserve and demand more from your partners.

  3. dont cry over spilled milk says:

    The world is just better when you’ve found the one and it’s like a never ending roller coaster ride of mixed emotions. Everyday is a new day to start your relationship if you’ve found the one.the two of you will find ways to improve your relationship everyday. I can certainly say that I’ve found the one because she and I have it all. We have great communication skills, we are really open to one another, we always compromise. When there’s conflict we always find a way that the both of us remains happy. I’ve found my happiness with her and I can truly say that she’s found her happiness with me. Let me tell you something about happiness, guys. Happiness is actually a well rounded choice that you make everyday of your life and you are the one that chooses to be happy in any given moment if you so choose to. What I’m saying is, the both of us chose to be happy with one another and it’s a deliberate choice we made 3 years ago. You know that commonly, the feeling of being in love lasts for a maximum of 6 months? Well, we fall in love with each other more every single day and if we could, we would shout it to the whole entire world. Imagine if there was a platform for couples to express their love for the whole world to know. Wouldn’t that be awesome? There’s a catch though, when you shout your love for one another to the world, you can never break up with each other or else the both of you will be sacrificed in hell. LOL. Would anyone there shout if that were the consequence? Yes, I’m up to the challenge and so is my partner. We are getting married next year, July 16th and I couldn’t be more excited. We’ve been preparing for our wedding for quite some time now. On our first anniversary we mutually decided that we were going to get married and we planned. I proposed 6 months after that. So, yeah, it’s been a long time coming. This comment of mine is getting pretty long isn’t it? and you’re probably getting really bored of my confession of love. I don’t care though. Okay, maybe just a little bit, I’ll stop now. Thanks for taking the time to read up my comment. This is probably what love means.

  4. Jen says:

    I found the one and I can say that my life has turned around, over and under and I just love it. It’s like a never ending mixed emotions feeling whenever I’m with him and it makes me wonder how I lived before without knowing him. I surely cannot live without him now. He is part of my life now and he’s the one thing that I want to remain constant with me. It’s the change that he has brought to my dull life. I never really complained about my life before, it was good and all but when I first started dating him, it just felt right and I feel that the universe conspired to make us unite. I couldn’t really say anything against him because he is perfect. We have been together for well over a year now and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It has always been my dream to have this kind of person in my life and it has really come true. I now have the person I could call my forever. I love looking at him every morning when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I go to bed. We always find things that will be fun and it’s like we’re always making efforts for one another. All the signs are true and you will know it when you really found the one. It’s the feeling that you know it’s true. You know this isn’t make believe and you know that everything is possible. Your true love will make the impossible seem possible and at first you will become overwhelmed and scared that you may lose him but if he’s the one, you won’t ever lose him because he will do everything he can to always find a way back to you.

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