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16 Reasons Why You’re Always Being Taken for Granted

why you're being taken for granted

Do you find yourself being taken for granted all the time, be it by your lover or your friends? These 16 truthful reasons can change your life forever.

Are you one of those people who find themselves being taken for granted all the time?

You may be assertive and in control of your life.

But somewhere along the way, you start to realize that the people that love you are taking you and the things you do for them for granted almost all the time!

You may be loving and caring.

And you may go out of your way often to please your lover and pamper them.

But what do you do when your indulgences are taken for granted and turn into expectations?

[Read: 25 memorable life lessons that can change your life forever!]

Whose fault is it when you’re being taken for granted?

Should you blame the person taking you for granted?

Or should you blame yourself?

When you indulge in romantic gestures all the time without caring about your lover’s reciprocation, or when you’re too sweet and nice to your lover or a friend all the time without ever letting them realize that you’re going way out of your way to do something nice for them, it’s pretty obvious that they’d take you for granted because they don’t realize the effort you’ve made for them! [Read: 10 relationship deal breakers that can shatter your romance]

Can you blame someone when they have no idea about the effort you’ve taken for them?

Of course, they may feel pampered or special the first few times. But once it starts to feel like routine, the indulgences turn into expectations.

And if you don’t behave the same way or don’t make the effort one day, your lover may even get annoyed with you!

The harder you try, the bigger their expectations. And before you know it, you don’t get anything in return, and yet, you’d be expected to go out of your way and do something special for them all the time.

And almost always, this is the point of no return when you’d start to feel like you’re being taken for granted in the relationship! [Read: 18 things you do that makes your relationship really unhealthy!]

Communication and being taken for granted

Everyone takes someone for granted when they’re in love, even if it’s only for a moment. And the only way to stop someone from taking you for granted is by letting them know just how hard you’ve tried to do something for them.

Learn to communicate and let them know if you’re going out of the way for them. You don’t have to wait until you’re bursting at the seams with anger or frustration to tell your lover or your family just how ungrateful they’ve been when you’ve been so giving and sacrificing.

Most people who get taken for granted make the mistake of holding back on communication, until they can’t hold on anymore. And then, they explode with helpless anger one fine day, much to the surprise of their shocked lover who probably didn’t even realize they were taking their partner for granted! [Read: The power of your words can make or break your relationship]

Instead, there’s an easier way to deal with this. Let your partner know when you’ve made the effort to do something nice for them. You’re not being pompous. You’re just letting them know the truth, and there’s nothing wrong in that.

In fact, telling your partner that you did something special for them will make your partner appreciate the gesture and feel grateful too!

After all, at the end of the day, all you want is a simple ‘thank you’ to feel appreciated, isn’t it? [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for successful love]

Being taken for granted and self respect

There’s a reason why you may be allowing others to take you for granted. And in all probability, it starts and ends with self respect.

You don’t respect yourself enough to believe you’ve done enough for someone. You constantly try to do something more or do something better just to compensate for what, you believe, you’re lacking in.

And this behavior of yours pushes you to try harder to please others, and in return, you hope to be appreciated and loved. And when you don’t feel appreciated and loved, you start to believe you’re being taken for granted.

Do you seriously respect yourself for who you are, or do you need someone else’s appreciation to reaffirm that you’re a great person? Answering this question truthfully will help you realize why you’re being taken for granted all the time. [Read: Self respect and the really big role it plays in the relationships you have]

16 reasons why you may be getting taken for granted all the time

The easiest way to judge yourself and find out if you’re someone who could be taken for granted by others is by testing your own character.

There are a few traits and characteristics of people who are vulnerable to be being taken for granted. And chances are, you have a few of these traits in yourself.

Read these 16 reasons why some people get taken for granted, and if you see these traits in yourself, chances are, you’re more prone to getting taken for granted than many others around you!

#1 You can’t say ‘no’. You have a very hard time declining something to people. You’d rather take on more commitments or responsibilities than utter the word ‘no’. You may think you’re being sweet, but your inability to say no will only make others take your sacrifices for granted, and hate you when you don’t help them again!

#2 You’re predictable. Everyone around you, especially your loved ones, can totally predict your behavior. And since you’re so predictable, they subtly manipulate you and get you to do what they want. You may feel manipulated and used, but you feel helpless at the same time.

#3 You’re too sweet. You’re a people pleaser, and you just can’t be rude to others. You convince yourself that you’re the sweet person in a bad world, but in reality, you may be the idealist idiot in a real world who’s too sweet and nice, and forces others to take you for granted even if they don’t realize it themselves. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t know it]

#4 You postpone decisions. You’d rather make excuses or postpone issues that bother you instead of dealing with it or concluding it immediately. You may think pushing decisions away is the easy way, but in fact, it’s the spineless way of dealing with your problems.

Your family, lover or friends who understand your inability to take tough decisions may abuse that side of you and make decisions on your behalf, and manipulate you into doing something you wouldn’t want to do because they know you can’t say no anyway!

#5 You can’t confront people. If you feel like you’re being taken for granted, confront the issue. If you can’t confront the issue, you’d end up unhappy and fill your head with resentments and frustrations, which would eat you from the inside. [Read: 10 types of toxic friends you need to avoid in your life]

#6 You’re scared. You’re scared of people who are loud, outspoken, bossy, and confrontational. You just can’t handle them and they stress you out emotionally. You’d rather accept what they say than ever go against them because you don’t believe you can handle them.

You may think it’s the best way to deal with rude people, but in reality, you’re setting yourself up to be used and taken for granted by these kinds of people for the rest of your life.

#7 You lie to yourself. You lie to yourself and make excuses in your head when someone takes you for granted. You console yourself and tell yourself that the person probably took the right decision anyway and they’re not using you or taking you for granted.

You’re not happy doing what you’re doing for this person, but you console yourself with false words that you’re doing it out of free will and not out of this person’s manipulation. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and the people around you]

#8 You don’t believe in yourself. Somewhere deep inside, you doubt yourself and don’t believe in your own capabilities. You find flaws within yourself and you see other people as virtuous and flawless. You’re broken from inside, and you feel a constant need to please others to be accepted by them.

#9 You can’t be alone. You constantly feel the need to have someone as witness to your life. Independence scares you and you find it easier to go out of your way and be nice to someone who treats you badly instead of being lonely.

#10 You seek approval. You constantly need this person’s approval to do anything at all, be it to go out with your friends or do something for the first time. When someone starts to take you for granted, without realizing it, you’d allow them to emotionally control you and use you as they please. And before long, you lose your sense of judgment and you forget that it’s possible to independently make decisions for yourself.

#11 You don’t know your own desires. Every time you want to do something, even as simple as getting a new haircut or deciding on a restaurant, the voice in your head wonders if the object of your affection would like your decision. You always try to please this person, in everything you do, in the hope that they’d see just how loving and accommodating you are, hoping that they may realize just how much you’re doing for them someday. [Read: The risks of making someone a priority when you’re only an option to them]

#12 You crave for appreciation. You don’t like going against people you want to impress or win over. You accommodate anything they say, and you bend over backwards to please them in the hope of winning their affection. Hearing a small line of praise from them would mean the world to you.

#13 Low expectations. You intentionally keep your expectations low around people, especially the ones you love, because you know what constant disappoints feel like. But at the same time, you give far too much, in the hope that the one you love will see just how giving you are, and change and become a person just like you.

But on the contrary, this person may just assume they’re perfect for you already because you’re not pointing out any flaws in them, nor are you pointing out any of your wants or expectations from them. [Read: Are you being emotionally abused by someone you love? – 17 sure signs]

#14 You respect them. You respect this person and you can’t ever think of going against them or offending them in any manner. This person is the center of your world and you know you’d do anything to keep them happy.

#15 They know you respect them. The people who take you for granted are usually the ones who know that they matter a lot to you. They see the love you have for them, and constantly expect more from you without even realizing it.

And when you keep giving more, their expectations too grow all the time, until it reaches the critical stage where you feel completely taken for granted, and this person starts to believe that you’re changing for the worse and being mean to them because you aren’t doing the things you once used to do for them! [Read: 10 signs to recognize a selfish person and 5 steps to stop them from taking you for granted]

#16 You give more than you get back. You just don’t know when to stop giving. And you always end up giving way too much before you even realize it. And by then, it’s probably too late because the person you’re giving to, may already be taking you for granted. And even if you back away, they’d only be upset and say you’re the one who’s changed for worse.

If you see any of these traits in yourself, there’s a good chance that you’re extremely susceptible to being taken for granted by those close to you.

You may not realize it at first, but it’s these very traits and reasons that force you to lose your own self respect, and depend on someone else for your happiness and achievements.

And before you know it, the person you love *and who loves you back* may unwittingly take you for granted, even if that was never their intention in the first place!

[Read: 10 signs your negative thinking is ruining your life for you]

Once you understand these reasons why you’re being taken for granted, take a stand, and communicate with your loved one. After all, your life won’t get any better until you decide to stop giving other people the opportunity to take you for granted!

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Elizabeth Arthur
Elizabeth Arthur
A mom of two who’s currently working on a novel, Elizabeth Arthur lives in Cornwall. And when she’s not chasing her boys around the house, she enjoys sittin...
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DISCUSSION

10 thoughts on “16 Reasons Why You’re Always Being Taken for Granted”

  1. Braye Glover says:

    Very true. It all boils down to poor self image and lack of confidence.

  2. Joanna Morrison says:

    My husband is a very giving person he helps people out when they need it. But I feel that some people especially neighbours take him for granted. He has been ill recently with a bad virus and has been in bed most of the time. Only one of our neighbours have bothered to call in to see how he is. The others knew he was ill but not even a phone call. I told him that I feel they only call when they want something can you order this for me on the computer have you got that. I have told him once he is better don’t keep doing things for them. If they knock when I am around asking him for this and that I will say the answer is no sorry.

  3. amit mago says:

    i have few friends who always take me for granted. they make fun of me infront of others. whenever i meet them they try to show they r my best friends. whenever i call them they ignore me sometimes. they think they are smarter than me. they always miscall me they dont call me. if i dont pick up their phone they emotionally black mail me.

  4. Trevor says:

    Yep, one of the most telltale signs you’re being taken for granted is you just can’t say no to anybody. It’s this “niceness” that people readily exploit because you’re immediately identified as a total mark. Need a favour? He’ll do it. Need some cash? He’ll give it. Need a place to crash when you’re having a spat when your lover? He’ll open his doors. It’s time to say no more, guys. When you’re able to give people a firm no that can’t be manipulated or twisted in any way, then the respect people have for you will drastically shoot up. You’ll soon weed out those toxic nobodies and have a social circle built on mutual respect. I’m sure this is what anybody really wants deep down inside.

  5. RamboAmy88 says:

    I completely understand this logic but why do people feel the need to instantly exploit a nice person? Whenever I run into nice people, I am very grateful for them because they are so rare and I let them know that I appreciate their selflessness and genuine care for people. For me, it’s just kind sad that the average person goes, “oh you’re nice, let me take advantage of you and disrespect you.” How backwards is that? And then they reward negative behavior. They reward the people who say no, they reward the people who aren’t there for them, they reward the people who don’t care about them. Sometimes I feel like I’m not meant for this world. Everybody’s thinking is so backwards and I just don’t get it and never will.

  6. eerything says:

    I totally agree that being too nice will make people take you for granted and I think there is just a fine line between being too nice and letting yourself be taken for granted. I don’t blame you for being nice. The whole world should be nicer, it would make it a better place to live. I honestly think that the people who take nice people for granted need to change. I mean they seriously need to change. They need to thank all the nice people they meet in their life because those nice people made their live’s better at some point and they didn’t even notice it. Not even a thank you to all the nice people who went out their way to pave their paths. Karma is a bitc* though, before you even know it, you’ll be the person taken fro granted and that nice guy you unknowingly or intentionally took for granted, no one does that to him anymore and he’s still a nice guy. Just be nice to all the people you meet and learn to give and take. Don’t just take and take and take. I just really think it’s sad that you would take anyone for granted and even try to make up excuses as to why it was not taking the person for granted. I was the Mr. nice guy and I refuse to change the way I am just because people take me for granted. I may get too tired sometimes but I will definitely let them know. Most people that took me for granted before, their lives are shi* now. They’re no where. I finally landed some where and all it took me was just being my own self. If you don’t believe me, I don’t blame you, maybe you’ve been so mean all your life and like being mean and you don’t want to be nice. You’re just not nice and I HATE YOU. Please just leave all the nice people alone.

  7. frankie says:

    If you’re too nice, most people will take you for granted. It’s just in their human nature to take you for granted but that doesn’t mean you can’t fight back. Everyday is just another day to keep on improving ourselves, so please try to improve your assertive attitude because surely, you don’t ever deserve to be taken for granted. Try to live your life everyday and be as nice as you are or even nicer but try to develop an assertive attitude that would tell people that you are not a pushover. You could still be as nice as you are but you will be seen as a nice person with a backbone to back him up. Most nice people don’t get what they want because they are the ones always giving but that doesn’t mean you don’t get a lot. A lot of people may just think that you are okay with the things that normally would be okay with simple people. Nice people are mostly taken as simple and it’s because it takes a little bit of something that makes them content with themselves. Don’t push a nice person so far though because even the nicest lion can have the loudest roar. It’s not the nice people’s fault that they are nice, it’s the douche bags, the take-for-granters, those are the people that needs to change their lifestyle. Nice people just need to develop assertiveness to get those fuckers off their chain.

  8. Joe H. says:

    Wow this truly got me. I am a quiet person by nature and I don’t want to argue with anybody. Why making yourselves enemies when you can try and help everyone or back away when you can’t? I thought that people would appreciate that but they apparently don’t and this article proves that. Everyone takes you for granted when you are like that. Believe me, guys. I’ve spent days and days locked in my apartment after my girlfriend left me. If only I had known that she had only been after my money. She used me to buy her a new car and the next day only the trails of the tires were left in front of my house. Be cruel and harsh at times or else people will stamp on your dignity and ruin your life.

  9. Sarah says:

    I am so on the same page as you. Lucky I woke up at the age of 40, but hurts me so much to see my mum still a doormat to my sisters.

  10. fishstick666 says:

    Former people-pleaser, here. I promise you, this won’t make things better. Going from one extreme to the other is a common behavioral mistake people make because emotional reasoning is flawed. Being too nice will get you taken for granted but being mean, even occasionally will guarantee you die alone and unloved. There’s a middle ground and a way to set up boundaries to protect yourself without having to demean and damage the other person because, no matter how painful it is to acknowledge, they are human beings, flawed, vulnerable, with their own stories, just like you. Remember, if someone takes you for granted, you only have yourself to blame for setting the stage, in the first place. Yes, the other person played their role but you own half of it. Assertiveness is confrontation and addressing an issue without intent to harm the other person but with the goal of strengthening your friendship/relationship. Aggression only leads to even uglier consequences. You may hurt your loved one ONE time and it’s either over or, worst case scenario, they snap and do something REALLY scary to you or someone you love. I’m telling you this from experience. You never know. Assertiveness requires tact. “I really feel like I am putting in 99? of the effort, here. I feel like my asking you to give that 1? or, better yet, meet me halfway, is a reasonable request.” If something demeaning in the slightest way slips out in your confrontation then it’s clear your goal is to hurt the other person. People are either your allies or your nobodies. You can’t reassign roles for them based on your mood at the moment. That’s what borderlines do. Lots of people are borderlines but it is literally the definition of self-sabotage. Just remember that. People-pleasing to people who don’t deserve it is disrespectful to yourself. Aggression leads to you dying alone (better get rich and not have to rely on anyone for anything). -and Assertiveness may not work but then again it may. Either way, you have stood up for yourself without beating down another person in the process. If they don’t get it then they don’t the time of day from you. Get it? You walk away with a clear conscience. Tact is key.

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