If you’ve always wanted to know how to stop being insecure and finally love yourself, here are the steps you can take toward self-confidence.
Nobody is 100% confident in who they are. Some people may seem like they love everything about themselves, but even Beyoncé feels down on herself from time to time and is probably still figuring out how to stop being insecure. There are people, however, who are more insecure than others, and they may feel like there’s no hope in ever loving themselves.
If this sounds like you, you’re completely wrong. Getting rid of insecurities may take some time, but anyone can learn to feel good about who they are and love themselves. You just have to know how to do it.
Why do we feel so insecure?
Some people are born hardwired to be more insecure depending on their genetic makeup, and some people are influenced by their surroundings. People who spend a lot of time on social media and reading magazines may find that they are insecure about themselves. And if you want to learn how to stop being insecure, this is a good thing to not do anymore.
This is because people compare themselves to others that they see. If you’re always looking in magazines, your idea of beautiful is going to be influenced by the beauty in those magazines, and not by your own beauty. People also tend to see themselves skin-deep, and they pay no attention to their nonphysical attributes. [Read: Why is inner beauty much more important than outer beauty in real life?]
How to stop being insecure
For those of you who feel insecure, your life is probably pretty rough. It’s hard to get out of bed and feel excited about the day when you don’t even like who you are. That being said, you need to find a way to start loving yourself again.
#1 Stop comparing yourself to others. We all compare ourselves to others far too much. The problem with this is that nobody is the same. No two people are even comparable.
If you stop and realize that even if someone is prettier or better-looking than you, you might be smarter than them. And you probably have a better personality than other people. You are better in DIFFERENT ways. [Read: Tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better YOU]
#2 Make a list of all your positive attributes every single day. Doing this can help re-wire your brain to see the good in you versus only noticing the bad. Every night before bed, make a list of all the good things about yourself.
#3 Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re awesome. Because you are. You have to believe that you’re truly great in order to start feeling that way. If you look in the mirror and verbally tell yourself that you’re amazing, beautiful, and smart then you will start to truly believe that.
#4 Work on bettering yourself as a person. One way to finally love yourself is to work on being a better person all around. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or volunteer at a dog pound. Do something that helps others and you’ll be surprised to find that it will actually help you, too. [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationships]
#5 Surround yourself with uplifting people. The people you surround yourself with can transform the way you think completely. If you’re around others who are insecure, you’re likely to feel bad about yourself, too. But if you surround yourself with people who are in high spirits and love themselves, their mindset will rub off on you.
#6 Pinpoint what makes you feel insecure – and avoid it. If there is a certain person, show, movie, magazine, or situation that you realize makes you feel insecure, stay away from it. Removing yourself from it will help avoid those moments so you can work on loving yourself.
#7 Remove “downers” from your life. Get rid of anyone and anything that makes you feel down. If there are people who put you down, get rid of them. Don’t allow them to be a part of your life at all. If you let negative people into your life, you’re basically just adding to your problems. [Read: 18 ways to have high self-esteem and start winning at life]
#8 Do more things you love. There are too many people who say, “I wish I had more time for…” and they never do anything about it. A big part of loving yourself and learning how to stop being insecure is being able to love your life and the activities you take part in.
By doing more things that you love *and that make you happy*, you’re showing yourself that you can have fun in life. Finding joy in life can help you see that even if you do have faults, you still have a great life, and that will help make those insecurities less.
#9 Get in shape. This isn’t just for the physical benefit of looking better, although it can definitely help shape your confidence. When you exercise and eat right, you just feel better. If you feel better, you automatically have a better mindset about life and yourself.
#10 Talk to someone you trust about your issues. If you have a person or group of people you can go to about your struggles with loving yourself, then go talk to them about it, and they will help you learn how to stop being insecure. Let them know that you’re struggling, and they can help spread some light on exactly why you’re so great. [Read: Low self-esteem – How to see yourself in a better light]
#11 Stop re-occurring negative thoughts as they come into your head. The second you have a negative thought pop up in your head, lock that shit down. Stop thinking about it immediately and replace that negative thought with a good one about you and the situation.
#12 Accentuate your positives. If you’re a book-loving nerd, then don’t make that a negative thing, because it’s not. You’re well-read and literate. Bring out these positives and you’ll start to realize that every negative thing you thought was wrong with you will be a positive attribute instead.
#13 Always tell yourself that you’re capable of doing something. A lot of us face insecurities when it comes to work and our inability to complete a task as needed. If this is where your insecurities lie, always tell yourself you can do it. Your mind is a powerful thing, and if you tell it something, it will form a habit of always telling yourself this. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]
#14 Find meaning in your life. If you’re just meandering through life without a purpose, you may feel insecure about yourself. And if you want to know how to stop being insecure, start doing things for a good cause that are purposeful and meaningful. Then you’ll start to love who you are and what you’re doing.
#15 Get some professional help. If all else fails, talk to a professional about your insecurity problems. Sometimes it takes more than just your own effort to help you see your worth, and there’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help.
Overall, having insecurities can hinder many aspects in your life and seeking professional help can make you see your faults and help you sort out those issues if you don’t know where to begin otherwise. [Read: How to get your self-esteem back after a breakup]
Being insecure doesn’t mean that you’re any worse off than anyone else. Everybody feels insecure at times in their life. But if your insecurities are overwhelming, these tips can help you figure out how to stop being insecure.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...