You think you’re the only one who thinks they’re not good enough? We all have those moments, but what’s important is learning how to overcome self-doubt.
There have been so many times where I thought I wasn’t good enough. Actually, that was most of my high school and university experience. You see all these smart, motivated people, and then you think, well, I lost the game. But here’s the thing, we all have moments of self-doubt. Yes, I know, you’re probably thinking, well, Kobe Bryant didn’t have any of those moments, but he did. He’s human. What matters is learning how to overcome self-doubt.
How to overcome self-doubt in 13 steps
So, if you’re going through the whole self-doubt tunnel, know that you can get out of it. Sure, it’s not going to be easy, nothing ever is, but if you’re allowing self-doubt to prevent you from getting what you want, well, fix that.
Hop on the train to success *not money*, so you’ll be able to do what you really want. Unchain yourself and get on the road to happiness.
#1 No more excuses. Yeah, about those excuses, I know, even I have them, but it has to stop. Self-doubt allows us to rationalize to better fit our emotional state.
So, if I have to speak in public, I’m most likely nervous. Now, to help soothe my anxiety, I’ll try to get out of the situation by saying the mic isn’t loud enough or I’m too sweaty. When we’re afraid to fail, you’ll be surprised at what excuses we can come up with. So, cut them out. [Read: 16 ways to build self-confidence and realize your worth]
#2 Stop comparing yourself to anyone else. Comparing yourself to others is possibly the worst thing you could do. Of course, someone is going to always be better looking, more talented, or funnier than you—that’s life. However, that doesn’t mean you’re not deserving of trying to get what you want. The only difference between you and them is that they’re working towards their goals. [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself and not give a f*ck]
#3 Self-doubt is connected to confidence. Confidence is key. You need to feel good about yourself and ultimately love yourself if you want to overcome self-doubt. If you read this, you’re already one step closer. You realize self-doubt is destroying you. How do you battle hate? You use love.
#4 Look at your circle of five. You need to take a look at the closest five people you surround yourself with. Now, surprisingly, Dr. John Kounios, a professor at Drexel University, states that our neural connections change after a twenty-minute conversation. So, if you surround yourself with negative people, you can only imagine the effect it has on your self-confidence and self-doubt. [Read: 12 ways to stop negative people from sapping your energy]
#5 Become aware of yourself. If you want to know how to overcome self-doubt, you need to ask yourself a few questions. Do you really know that you suffer from self-doubt? Are you aware of people you surround yourself with? Are you aware of the negative habits you have? Probably not. So, become aware.
Get to know yourself and your emotions. This is really the only way you see what triggers your self-doubt and how you can avoid those triggers.
#6 Allow for self-compassion. Practicing self-compassion is essential. What is it? Basically, self-compassion is being kind to oneself. That’s it. If you want to rid self-doubt from your mind, you’re going to have to be kind to yourself.
#7 Stop asking for other’s opinions. We all search for the opinions of others. Listen, if your company is positive, then it’s okay to ask for people’s opinions. However, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what they think, it’s about what you think.
So, instead of always rushing to someone for advice, sit with yourself and think things through. Then, once you’ve made a decision, you can ask for other’s opinions, if you wish.
#8 Write your goals down. Writing your goals down is a great way to show yourself where you want to be in life. Whenever you’re feeling moments of self-doubt, look at your goals and see what your dreams and aspirations are. It’ll help you get yourself back on track. [Read: Stop giving a damn what people think]
#9 Keep them to yourself. Don’t share your goals with everyone. I know, this is usually the opposite of what people tell you, but keep your goals to yourself. Derek Siver, through his TEDtalk presentations, showed many studies on the effects of sharing your goals with others. What happens? Once you share your goals, you don’t do them. We feel that because we talked about them, we did them, which obviously isn’t the case.
#10 Trust your gut. Your initial feeling about something is usually never wrong. If you think you have a great idea, well, you probably have a great idea. Now, there are going to be people along the way that tell you it’s shit or that maybe someone else should it. But at the end of the day, you stick to the gut instinct, not all the other voices in your head.
#11 Once you make a decision, keep it. Trying to make a decision is when self-doubt comes into play. You’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing. Listen, once you make a decision, you need to stick to it. Self-doubt creeps in and tries to make you switch your plans, but stay solid on the path you choose. Sure, you’re going to make slight adjustments as you go, but stick to the main plan.
#12 Have a role model. Having a role model may sound like something you needed when you were twelve, but it’s not. Everyone has a role model they look up to, even the most successful people have people that they look up to. Role models usually go through major obstacles throughout their lives, which is a great way to show you they overcame their self-doubt. [Read: 15 mature ways to grow up and be an adult]
#13 Try! If there’s one thing you need to do, it’s to try. Go and make something happen. If you’re scared of doing something that you want to do, well, let me tell you, it’s not going to get easier. So, you need to just go for it.
Yes, there’s a chance you may fail, I’m not going to lie to you about this. But, isn’t it better to try and fail than to not try at all? If you try, you’re overcoming self-doubt in the best possible way.