Learning how to be comfortable with yourself can be a long process. But it’s beyond worth it for your happiness. Here’s how to stop giving a fuck.
We all care far too much about what other people think of us. Some care more than others. But to a degree, we all have other people’s opinions in the back of our minds when we do something. That’s why knowing how to be comfortable with yourself isn’t very easy.
We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. That’s no way to live. At a certain point in your life, you have to take a look at yourself. Are you living the life YOU want or are you pandering to what other people expect of you? If it’s the latter, then you really need to stop giving a fuck about what they think.
What happens when you compare yourself to others
The biggest problem many people face with their self-esteem is that they keep comparing themselves to others. This is a HUGE problem nowadays and it’s only made more difficult because of social media and society’s standards of “beauty.”
When you compare yourself to someone else, you’ll never be comfortable with who you are. You’ll always think you need to be a certain way and live a certain way. You won’t be happy with your life, your appearance, or even your job. [Read: 5 crucial steps to see yourself in a better light]
Being comfortable with who you are starts with your mindset
Before you can learn how to be comfortable with yourself, you have to change your way of thinking. Chances are, you think negatively of yourself and you care too much about what other people think. You need to stop caring about that.
Why you should stop caring about what others think
#1 It only holds you back. This is the biggest reason to stop giving a fuck about what others think. You’ll never get very far in life trying to please everyone. In fact, it’ll hold you back from your full potential. You have so much to offer, but not everyone will like it. If you stop caring and just focus on you, you’ll have far more success. [Read: 10 signs your past is only holding you back]
#2 Caring only hurts your self-esteem and confidence. Do you want to feel crappy about yourself? No! I’m sure you want to know how to be comfortable with yourself and that starts by not caring about what others think. If you’re always thinking about someone else’s opinion of you, you’ll never be confident.
#3 Nobody else knows your life and story. So basically, they have no place to judge. Nobody knows what’s going on in your life. They have absolutely no reason to have any opinion of your life. So why care about what they think?
#4 Most people you’re worried about don’t care about your well-being. If you’re always worried about your image or how others will react to your decisions, you’re probably not thinking about the people who care about you. Because those people would never want you to sacrifice your happiness just because of them. [Read: 20 commons signs you’re a people pleaser]
#5 Their opinion doesn’t matter. Truthfully, this is the golden ticket and why you should never care about what other people think. Unless they’re someone close to you who’s worried about you, their opinion doesn’t matter. Everyone has thoughts and opinions about others nowadays, but they just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
How to be comfortable with yourself and start loving who you are
#1 Shut down reoccurring thoughts about what others think. This will take some time to get right, but you have to try. Whenever you have a thought like, “but what will people think if I…,” stop yourself and think positively.
#2 Stop picturing how others will react. Instead, picture how you’ll feel. Will it make you happy to do it? Then go for it. This is a tough thing to do all the time, but it’s crucial if you want to know how to be comfortable with yourself.
Your opinion is the only one that matters. So the next time you want to do something, ask yourself if you will be happy. Only YOU. If the answer is yes, go for it.
#3 Set standards for YOURSELF only. Set standards and expectations for yourself. But ONLY for yourself. Feeling comfortable with who you are is about loving yourself and being happy with your life. If you meet your own standards, you’ll always be happy.
#4 Compare yourself to your past self. The only person you should try to be better than is your previous self. If you really want to be happy with yourself, then this is the only kind of comparing you need to do. When you only focus on being better than you were yesterday, you’ll learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: How to become a better person with 9 golden rules]
#5 Focus on your own health and happiness. This is crucial for being comfortable with yourself. Your health and happiness should come first. Once you realize what you need in life to be happy and healthy, you’ll be comfortable with who you are.
#6 Surround yourself with positive people. Only people who lift you up and make you happy should be allowed in your life. Their positive energy will rub off on you. If you surround yourself with people who love you, you’ll understand why you should be happy with who you are.
#7 Realize that there’s never going to be someone like you. No matter how prettier or smarter someone else is, they will never be you. Even if someone is more creative or better at something you enjoy, they’re still not you.
There will never be another person who is the unique combination that you are. If you realize that the one thing that makes you great is that you’re 100% unique, it’ll help you learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: 16 ways to build self-confidence and realize your worth]
#8 Do the things you love. This might not seem like it’s related to learning how to be comfortable with yourself, but it really is. Hobbies are important. Having passion is important. Those things you love so much are what make you who you are. Being happy with yourself has a lot to do with being able to express yourself through your passions.
#9 Take care of your body. I know this might seem a little superficial, but it’s not. When you exercise and eat well and take care of your body, it repays you. Not only will you look better, you’ll feel better. When you start realizing just how beautiful and strong you are, it’ll help you learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: 12 benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and even your libido]
#10 Fake it until you make it. This popular phrase is widely known for a reason. It works. If you don’t know how to be comfortable with yourself, pretend you are. If you do this long enough, you’ll have retrained your mind to actually and truly be happy with you. It might take some time, but it’s worth it.